a fusty nut with no kernel

23. They/them. PDX. Queer. Photographer. Derbyer. Slytherin. Cosplayer. Soon to be ruler of the undead.

[fuckery-inc]

Kiss me in public. Put your arm around me so people know I’m with you. Call me babe in front of our waiter. Pull me in because I’m just not quite close enough to you. Make me watch that one tv show that’s your guilty pleasure. Tell me your biggest fear and I’ll promise to protect you. Kiss me at red lights because if you don’t then I’ll kiss you. Show me the one song you can never listen to without crying. Don’t hide the tiny details about you. Because I’ll remember every one of them.

[recklesswave-deactivated2018031]

‪In 10 years if I’m not on the beach cracking a cold one with the love of my life watching our dogs play in the water I’m going to be very disappointed. ‬

[damnitshakespeare]

I'm less than a week him and I will be together for our 5-year anniversary. We'll be going up to Seattle for the weekend to see Trivium and it's going to be a lot of fun I CANNOT WAIT

[nonsensetheimp-blog]

i may be punk but i still meow back at cats

[witchoffires-blog]

my little sister just found out at school that you can create a religion and wants me to help her turn Halloween into a year long religion. And i  never knew i wanted this until now. We will be the Halloween Cult. I am so ready for this.

[witchoffires-blog]

My sister came up with some cult rules.

Do not deny the spooky.

Be nice to children.

Don’t be pressuring others into the religion, if they don’t want to hear leave them alone.

Every second Wednesday of each month is Pumpkin Worship, that is when you eat pumpkin flavored things, carve pumpkins, or burn pumpkin spice scented candles. Just embrace the pumpkin.

Don’t be mean to other people for reasons they can’t control, but hey if they are doing it on purpose just to annoy you, destroy them.

No touch other people if they don’t want you to, this includes hair.

Halloween is a holy day, embrace it and become one with the spooky.

Costumes are an everyday thing, but sometimes it can be inappropriate, be aware of when to embrace the spooky and when to just be a little spooky.

Don’t let anyone tell you you can’t be spooky, and if they do tell you then they don’t know what they’re talking about. You can be all the spooky all you want.

Be nice to animals.

Be ready to help others when you can but still remember that you need to put your needs first.

You are spooky, you are amazing, you are fabulous. Say it.

idk but i think we need more, go ask you internet nerd friends.

can yall think of anything else?

[witchoffires-blog]

OKay i asked her how one would join the cult and she said to light a jack-o-lantern on a full moon then yodel into the night for the pumpkin king and if he approves you, you will hear someone yell “stut the fuck up” then you are part of the cult.

have fun yodeling my friends

[colemckenzies]

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[ggiornojo]

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

[colemckenzies]

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

[animatedamerican]

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

[nentuaby]

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

[animatedamerican]

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

[thepioden]

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

[rooksandravens]

Is it a glitch or a feature?

[cranberrybogmummy]

Feature

[s-peak-in-tongue-s]

this neat feature is called collocative substitution, and it occurs when certain words are strongly linked to certain context and/or phrases. when you read/hear a pair of words that usually wouldn’t go together, your brain fills in the context with what would normally be inferred, given the originally phrased pairing. thus, finding out that there’s a term for this phenomenon may indeed leave you utterly sandwiched. lesser known or less strongly linked phrases and pairings may not be able to translate substituted words to appropriately fit the inferred context, so you were not utterly floorboarded at the club last night, but rather you were absolutely floorboarded, and as this explanation continues to drag on, you may by the end of it find yourself completely coathangered from read it all.

[lizawithazed]

I, like all linguists I have met or even heard of, have a deep intricate love-hate relationship with the English Language because of complete and total coathangering like this

[officialwarspite-blog]

[lovelysuggestions]

In case no one has told you today, I’m so proud of you I know how hard you’re trying

[skellydun]

facts that i know for sure:

I’m gay

It’s too hot outside 

[inlovesuggest]

YES! get clingy and lovey-dovey, i like that shit

[cerebrumobscura]

I want small children to think I am either a goddess or a faerie but I want grown men to fear me

[lovelysuggestions]

You’re so sweet I hope you know how much I love you

[yallstillhere]

I hate that bugs don’t take fall damage

How I knock a spider off the ceiling and that shit hit the ground and start running

[herbalfaun]

Are you ever just like wow I’d take care of you and care about you so hard

[lore-54352452524-deactivated201]

you can replenish your health by…: drinking water, breathing fresh air, eating a wild strawberry…

you can restore your mana by…: listening to folk music, breathing fresh air applies to this one as well… taking a walk…

[nerdgasrnz]

I suddenly feel less pessimistic about these suggestions for improving mental health purely bc it’s worded like this

[peachysuggest]

make more art. write bad poetry. paint and make a mess. take pictures of your friends, your dog, nature, everything. make art and love it; not because its good but because it makes you happy. make an imprint on the world.

[damnitshakespeare]

So I spent a very lovely weekend with my guy and I just love him so much. Long distance is hard yo, but he makes everything better than ok and makes me feel so special and there's no way I could ever be this happy with anyone else. I done fucked up real bad recently but we're at a place where we are ok and I'm going to make things right and we're working through everything and he's just so amazing and way too good for me. I love this man, more than anything in the world.