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Things you can’t control.

So one of my teachers, that had only been with me for about 2 years, left and opened his own studio. It was always his dream, like many teachers. There were no hard feelings. He wanted to try to keep it a secret, but parents and students were friends with him on social media, and you have to just be realistic; you can’t HIDE those things. I told him I obviously have no control over some of my students making a switch. Its ANNOYING, duh, but what am I gonna go? The more I try to hide it, the more parents will notice and become more curious about his studio. So I told him to go ahead and advertise it on his own facebook page and stuff because who am I to tell him what to do with his personal life (but at least he was nice enough to ask). But I have a feeling he actually INVITED some of my families to go support him at his grand opening. So some did go. And so did I. Like I said there were no hard feelings. The parents were sad to see him go.He helped their kids grow and they wanted to support him.

So now he only has like, less than 10 students in his studio (which is understandable, its only been open for a few months), but the majority were/are my students.

I have two moms of younger kids that didn’t make our company that kinda expressed their disappointment, in an irritating manner, but nothing utterly inappropriate.

They BOTH now go to his studio.

Why can’t mothers just deal with the fact that their child isn’t ready for some things?! Those are the ones that really crave attention. They had to go somewhere where that owner is desperate for enrollment and says yes to everything and everyone. You’re definitely not teaching your child loyalty and to work for what they want. Dance life is competitive.

There’s no doubt that his students will lack training they need. I’m not threatened. There is no comparison with what my studio offers. But thank goodness I made a contract for my production company stating they couldn’t study anywhere else without my consent.

It’s really hard to set boundaries between parent and student relationships. Because parent/staff/student relationships are what keeps families HERE *AND* what makes them leave.

word.

#DANCE #dance studio #dance studio life #dance competition #dance studio owner #dance teacher #dance teacher problems

Making goodie bags for my students. Getting a head start =) 🎃

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Raising the barres

Just giving an update. I have 16 dancers in my production company/competition team. I am offering a program no one else I know offers. I’m offering, besides dance classes, acting classes, make up classes, monthly tumbling classes at a local gym, mock auditions, modeling classes, etc.

I'm training the students that go to my performing arts studio, to broaden their training. The goal is to get them to jobs. There are so many dancers on this world is ridiculous. I am teaching my dancers to learn all trades to stick out the crowd. If I was a casting director, and I had two fantastic dancers in front of me, but one can sing, or act, or model, and is approachable for interviews. I’m going to choose the one that can do more.

At the end of the day like every other studio owner, I want fantastic artists to represent me. This is how I stay open and in business. I need to be one the bevel constantly. It’s stressful.

Since I have more time in the office now, I really need to sell this. I know that if other studio owners find out of this program, they’re going to want to do the same thing. And I need to make it known that we are the first.

I have enough customers now to make requirements for jazz and modern. I used to not enforce ballet because in my area people are always trying to save money and I was new and needed any customers I could get to keep paying the rent. But I’m realizing that the ones that can pay, are the ones who excel because they take more classes. The ones who can only pay for one hour a week, obviously beginner and know nothing about dance life, are the ones who can’t do anything for me. Why am I going to keep allowing beginners to fill up my DanceStudio and make it look like we suck.

From now on, if you’re a beginner, there are requirements you need to take to get at a level we need you to be. If you don’t like it/ can’t afford it, you can leave. There are so many other dance studios around the corner that will take you. And then you can see how far your child will get. Sad truth.

I really do have families that only want to pay $50 a month for one class a week and expect their kids to become professionals. What are you wasting your time for? I’m not talking about the three and four-year-olds. I’m talking about six years and up. And there's the other type that say “They just wanna do it for fun”… Well you know what, that’s bullshit. They’re kids, what do they even know about what they want. What if they actually build a passion for this when they grow up and YOU didn’t provide them with enough training. Smh. Dance is a full time job when it comes to kids, people. Get with it.

trying to get prices and info for my kids to perform at Disney Springs and in order to even get a price, I have to send an audition video in? Why would I waste my time getting an audition video together with my dancers JUST to get a quote? I want information to see if its worth it! THEN ill send you an audition video... ugh!

#dancestudioowner

So I just ran into an Instagram of a 7 year old "run by mom..." (yeah one of those insta grams🙄) And seriously, what is with young girls and the dramatic, emotional routines that are more suitable for the older dancers? Fine go ahead and pay someone to choreograph a routine like that for your child. But don't get upset if I say I feel uninspired and unmoved because I know your child isn't "expressing themselves". Don't tell me you use the art form for expression when you do the same tragic routines on stage all the time that don't mean anything. Seriously, what does a 7 year old who has the opportunity to take dance classes and have money for competitions really know about struggle???? And then I* feel like an asshole for my annoyed body language as I watch your little puppet dance and that's not cool either.

#dancecompetition #dancestudio #dance

bree-3po-deactivated20190814

Bob Fosse wouldn’t have choreographed a scorpion.

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☝🏼️

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nyydancer20-blog

Quitters never win...

I think that the degree of effort and hard work that gets put into things nowadays is severely lacking. And, as a parent, or guardian, or educator, you owe it to yourself and your children/students to instill values that will follow them through life.

Life is hard. I constantly am remind my students of this, it is my answer to everything, whether it be “I’m tired”, or “this is hard”. Yes. Yes it is, and it probably won’t get any easier as time goes on. However, that is not a reason to give up on something, or even someone.

What challenges us makes us stronger. Better. Able to handle more. Those who can push through often come out on the other side happier, albeit not without scars. And scars are okay, with them, we know we gave 100%.

With that being said, when you commit to something, it is exactly that. It is a commitment. You don’t get to stop halfway through, and decide, “well, it got hard. I got bored. I just don’t want to.” These are excuses. Most of the time, when you quit, especially an activity like dance, you are not quitting on yourself. You are quitting on the choreographer who spent weeks creating pieces (sometimes based around YOU) planning spaces, rehearsing. You are quitting on your teammates, who rely on you, who shoulder just as much responsibility on you. You are quitting on your parents, who probably have invested years of their money on you. (When they could’ve taken a vacation twice a year with what they spent on lessons and costumes.) You are walking out on friends, on a team, a commitment you made to be a part of something larger than you.

As a parent, there is no way you should teach your child that quitting is ok. I understand the older you get the more responsibility you take on. But that is going to happen all your life. What happens when you get a job, and it just gets to be “too much?” Do you quit? Who pays the rent? The car payments? The electric bill? Sometimes things get in the way, and we forget how much something means to us once we give it up. Take a break, but don’t quit. Your commitment is going to be something that eventually people will rely on. If you back out of everything starting now, no one will want to work with you later on.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, my mother never let me stop anything. If I decided I didn’t want to do it, that was fine. But I was finishing the year, semester, program, class…whatever it was. I didn’t have to go back, but I couldn’t stop cold turkey. I learned that sometimes we have to finish this we might not like. That sometimes I ended up LIKING that which I thought I did not. That at the end the sense of completion was a much better feeling that having to say, “I quit.”

So knock it off. Yes, life gets in the way, yes, things get hard. But you push through, you learn time management, and you end up being a better person later on and life. So put down your phone, get your stuff, and get in class. And love it.

Stirrups

So competition is around the corner and we have a dress rehearsal tomorrow. The two competitions we’re participating in is in the same location, our home theater where we have our recitals. It’s great cause it’s near home and we know our way around. I was also able to schedule a “light rehearsal”, a 4-hour stage use for $400. I’m only charging the students $20 and the PTA is funding half.

So my current secretary is a strange character. She’s soft spoken and speaks in a way that makes her sound fake, and I dunno I’m just tired of her. In her defense, it’s a lot of work and a lot of things to remember. Anyway, Craftquanda…. You remember Craftquanda… She’s always hanging over the counter and in everybody’s business. It’s quite frustrating. If I ever need to speak to my secretary in discretion or something, I can’t because she’s always there.

So when I get out of class, I’m in the office and one of the cool moms goes to my sec. with a pretty serious face “(Craftquanda) was laughing at you because you told a mom that the jackets were only for competition moms and that’s not true… you gave her false information…”. It was more like she was scolding her (IM hard on my sec. but damn, she was definitely stirring up shit). She kept saying that it was Craftquanda who was walking around all frustrated because my sec. gave false information to another parent. (Like it’s any of her business.) So my sec. was like “yeah that was my mistake” and the now thought-was-cool mom said she wanted to just tell her so that she could tell that mom. And my sec. was like “well I did. She’s right here…( the inquiring mom happened to be standing there listening). The inquiring mom backed my sec. up. “Yeah she told me she made a mistake…” blah blah….

Basically, 1. parents are getting into other people’s business, 2. The thought-was-cool-mom was starting shit for no reason, 3. That same mom noticed she came out all wrong and she verbalized that. And dude, this is the mom that always talks about her not wanting to go to a studio where there is drama. IF YOU DONT WANT IT, DONT START IT. Then she started talking about how Craftquanda was getting on everyone’s nerves with her negativity (yeah let's switch the focus to someone else, cause I just made an ass of myself) , she’s been hearing it from them, she keeps getting into other people convos and saying the opposite of everything, like she never agrees with anything, for example, you can’t use that eyelash glue, it’s not healthy for them) her daughter has sensitive skin so she’s being stupid and thinks she knows what’s healthiest….

So she’s like the type of roommate who isn’t a bad person, they just like everything THEIR way and little by little they suck the life out of you…

Anyway, while the mom was talking shit in front of the inquiring mom (who’s new to the studio), I was like, just don’t listen to her, don’t let the other moms talk about her, don’t stir shit up when this lady is just simply not everyone’s cup of tea. I don’t need to explain why I don’t want drama. It’s obvious I don’t want drama and people being cliquey.

By the way, craftquandas facebook status’ always talking about her day, it’s like no one cares, bro. “I packed my daughters stuff for her competition dress rehearsal tomorrow… shoes in this zipper, her makeup in this zipper, made a checklist list for her bag and one for my pocket….” What the fuck lol. Yes, at the end of the day, you can post on Facebook whatever the hell you want.. I’m just sharing my opinion on how ridiculous her comments are to me. Like she’s trying to show off how prepared she is, so childish.

Can’t parents just pay and follow the rules? It’s so simple.

Just take the damn exam.

We are accredited with an organization that organizes annual exams for ballet students. When I'm touching base with parents that didn't sign up, one tells me, "I don't really see the point. My daughter dances just for fun" Ok. So when their daughter isn't a kid anymore and wants to audition and study and take dance seriously, it's gonna be the PARENT's fault they didn't get them the accreditation and tools to help them succeed. So all your money spent on classes was for nothing. It's only $47 a year. Give your child the tools to succeed so that they can have options in life! Good parenting, folks.

#dancestudio #dancestudioowner #dancestudiolife #danceteacherproblems #danceteacher #dancemoms

How I assume conversations with producers at Dance Moms went

Show promo circa 2011: Check out this edgy new showwww that gives an inside look at the CUTTHROAT world of COMPETITIVE DANCE, LOOK AT THIS SUPER MEAN TEACHERRRR.

Abby: (Isn't actually that bad on the first season)

Producers: So, Abbz. We like you, we like the kids, but here's the thing... can you amp it up a little? Nothing major, just over-work the kids physically, take pot-shots at their developing personalities, play manipulative mental games with them, give them weird complexes...

Abby: Torture my own students? I've taught these kids since they were toddlers. You're a fool if you think -

Producers: (Add two more zeros to the cheque)

Abby: - if you think that I won't literally hang these kids over a pit of snakes and set their families on fire if it means keeping them on their toes.

So I know other studios all experience parents that complain they have too many expenses at the studio. But I experience this too often at the studio. Competitions cost money. The more routines, the more costumes, the more rehearsals, the more entrance fees... I'm not money obsessed. I have the best prices for dance wear in my area. People need affordable around here. Most parents are completely oblivious about what other parents are paying elsewhere. I have this one mom, let's call her "Craft-quanda". She's an artsy mom who loves DIY's. She's always posting pictures of her money-saving techniques on Facebook. So after some complainer-moms whined about extra costs here and there, one of them was like "wait a minute! But what are WE gonna wear?!" (Oh so now they acually WANT to get matching mom-wear?) So Craftquanda put the idea out there to make Tshirts.... Ok "make Tshirts?" I used to do that on highschool. They LOOK cheap. I don't want anyone wearing a cheap looking thing that has my studio name on it at a competition or for that matter, ANYWHERE. And when you go to craft stores, you end up spending more money. Those Tshirts cost like 5bux, and the iron-ons are like 10bux and they might now even have enough letters, making you buy ANOTHER one. Not to mention, now many moms have the TIME to do this! They might as well let me design something so I can charge them 10bux for the thing! (It would only cost me 3-6bux per shirt) So I explained that to them, and the other moms more or less agreed with me, and Craft-quanda shrugged her shoulders like 'I guess'. So a few days later, "Craftquanda" posts herself making the tshirt on Facebook (unfinished) and moms that weren't in the conversation saw the post and were like omg how cute! (Damnit. She got to them before I did). She posted the finished product after and it looked stupid. She put silver letters on a lime green shirt. The same parents that commented before commented again like "I dunno if it's the picture but it think the silver gets lost in the green. Do you think we can use black?" And I commented right under, "I'm making the mom jacket" So I got right on it, everyone was excited and put their order in and so did Craftquanda The end.

ballerinaproblems

So I’m 27 years old, I got in a car accident in 2012 I think it was. I tore a disc in my C6 (neck) I haven’t been the same since. This past Friday was a long day. I’m competing with the kids this year. I’ve been out for a while so I’m outta shape. With my injury, sometimes it gets hard to even lift my arms high. I’m a perfectionist, so i like every move to be strong and precise. So this past Friday, we had rehearsal and I had to stop 10 minutes before the end of class because I couldn’t do it. I left my left shoulder get sore.

In the past, when I’ve done too much, I take a muscle relaxer for 2 days and I’m better. But I’ve never felt this pain before. It feels broken. I know it’s not but that’s how bad the pain is. It’s like worse than when the accident happened.

Yesterday it was just wore but I woke up and it was as if I woke up from an accident and felt the pain. I was scared. I woke up my husband and he had to help me up and put me in the shower with hot water.

So I was crying all morning with how bad the pain is. I took a muscle relaxer and pain reliever. It’s a little more bare-able now. I’ve been sleeping all day cause of the meds.

I just don’t know how long I’m gonna be able to do this. After competition, I’m done.

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When you refer to your students as “my kids” and people are like “ you have kids?”

Happens way too often

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