move.
Jared walked home, feeling dejected. He had carved time out of his busy schedule for tonight, and for what?
Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
It was a cold slap in the face that he never saw coming. He had only been joking about the femme fatale thing the other night at auditions, but she had apparently taken it to heart.
Or maybe Jaye had always been that way, and he hadn't realized it. After all, she was strong and stubborn. She was usually the one who was pushing him to get something done, not the other way around. He never had to worry about her doing her job right; she had to yell at him just to get him to move.
Still, when he saw Jaye and Jamie walking out of rehearsal together, he had to pause. They were alone, unaccompanied by Greg, Sam, or any other member of the choir really––not even Sarah and Sophie were hanging around. Jared, of course, was blissfully ignorant of the situation, and ended up convincing himself that they were just getting a headstart on going to dinner, or perhaps taking another route. After all, there were multiple exits from the building.
After waiting for several moments, Jared decided to follow after the pair, though not closely. He could still keep them in eyesight without being seen, a skill he was almost forced to develop when he embarked on his journey to figure out the secrets that Sarah, Sophie, and Jaye were prone to giggling about in their little corner.
Jaye and Jamie disappeared into the noodle place, an intimate and strange venue for chorus dinner, he thought. They rarely ventured here, just because it was harder to fit their crowd in, in a way that everyone could talk to each other. Perhaps they really had just volunteered to go ahead of the group, to reserve spots for them.
When Jared finally made his way in however, he saw that both the conductor and treasurer were sitting in a booth, food placed on the table in front of them. The giggle, uncharacteristic for Jaye, floated to his ears, and he narrowed his eyes slightly. She laughed at him, but never in that way.
And so, with a strange, newfound resolution, Jared walked to their table, a smile on his face in hopes of hiding any emotion he might have been feeling previously. The sudden change in Jaye's demeanor didn't register with him, nor did Jamie's hesitation in acknowledging his presence. Nothing actually clicked into place until he heard the way Jaye talked to him: even, but with a cold edge. It seemed as if she was trying her best to behave, for whatever reason that was unknown to him at the time. Not even Jamie would look at him at this point; his attention to Jaye was plain to see, even in the dim lighting of the restaurant.
That was how Jared ended up walking home alone. He hated the fact that it took the direct statement of "it's just dinner" for him to actually realize that they were out on a date.
A date.
Was he blind? Was he an oblivious idiot to the fact that maybe Jaye's feelings weren't as strong as his?
Jared kept trying to rationalize it to himself as he walked into his apartment building and took the elevator up. Something was obviously not right. There were many times where Jaye had been angry with him, but not to the extent as she had shown tonight.
"Maybe it's just because I was interrupting. I'm sure she'll give me an earful later," he murmured.
But he had seen the way she smiled at Jamie, heard how sincere that momentary laugh was. Even in their downtime, Jared never received that kind of treatment from her.
With a heavy sigh, Jared typed out a message to her about budgets, as promised.
===
It wasn't until about eleven when Jaye messaged Jared back.
> Did you manage to get in touch with SORC about paying the Chapel?
> Yeah. They said that we should be able to pay out of our SGR, and then they can move the money around so they can put the money originally allocated to make up what was in SGR.
> Cool. So that's all been taken care of.
> Mhm.
A lull in the conversation. Jared didn't know if he should breach the topic, but when it really started chewing away at him, he decided it was now or never.
> So you and Jamie were out tonight. Was that planned?
> I don't see how that's your business.
So she was angry.
> I was just curious. I'd come by to ask you about coming to dinner, actually. That was when I saw you two leaving.
> What, are you jealous?
He poised his fingers above the keyboard, ready to type, when the typing animation appeared again.
> Listen, Jared. I know we... had a thing. I really did start considering it after that stunt we pulled when we walked out of the officer's meeting to get food.
> What changed?
> That meeting from a few weeks ago. That stupid fucking meeting with you, Sophie, Louise, and me where you wanted us to talk it out after that mess with elections. Sophie and I were already done with that week and we didn't feel like drawing it out, and then you completely IGNORED Sophie when she came to you with concerns. You told Patrick that you thought you handled everything very well and that things were fine, and they clearly weren't, but you couldn't live with that.
> That's when I decided that if it were to happen that I couldn't let it. I can't be in a relationship with someone who won't deal with problems head on.
And she stopped. That was where she stopped typing, and that was when Jared leaned back in his chair with a long drawn-out groan.
"Fuck."
He finally got the courage to type something back to her after a few long minutes of contemplation.
> I'm sorry.
> For what.
> For screwing up.
> Can I be honest with you?
> Do you even have to ask now?
> I guess not.
> I don't think this would have been like, THE isolated incident that blew the possibility of us off the table. You just have this tendency to run away from problems, and then freak out and panic when they get really ugly and you realize something could have been done earlier.
> Well, either that or you convince yourself that things are perfectly fine.
"Do I?" Jared asked himself out loud. Thinking over the last few months, he realized that he would avoid taking care of busy work as long as possible. He was partially at fault for the appeal to the legislature for the concert last semester because he was in charge of getting the contract from the facilities manager. Because he hadn't heeded her warning about drawing up a contract with the chapel in advance last semester, the payment for the chapel this semester was screwed up. And, as she had brought up, he was the idiot who wanted a quick fix for the election strife because he was too focused on traveling for a pep band game.
> Fuck. You're right. How are you always right?
> Because it's my job to keep you in check.
> Indeed. You've done a lot for me this year, and I haven't repaid you in kind.
> We can worry about that later. For now, let's focus on these last two weeks before the concert. Then we can talk about how you can pay me back for all the labor I've done.
> Will you let me make it up to you by taking you out?
When Jaye didn't immediately respond, he knew he had done something wrong. This time though, he was paying attention, and the message she finally wrote back only confirmed his suspicions.
> You know that that's not a good idea.
> This was only your guys' first date, right?
> ...
> Jaye, what does he have that I don't?
> He's the evil I know. Or was, now, I guess.
> ...Alright. That's fair.
It was a bit before she responded again.
> I'm sorry, Jared. I really am.
> No. It's me who should be sorry.
> I'm gonna head to bed. I'll see you later, okay?
> Yeah. Good night.
> Night.
And that was that.
Jared turned off his computer and flopped back into bed. He stared at the ceiling for a while, berating himself for being so stupid when it came to her. If he'd had more sense, perhaps she would have chosen him.
Unfortunately, that chance was nonexistent now, long before he realized it, it seemed. He had gone and epically fucked everything up, and his punishment would be to see Jaye and Jamie together at meetings and rehearsals, Jamie taking the place that he should've––could've––would've––taken.
But maybe it was for the best. With no attachments left here, he could safely move to California and start over.
He just needed to find the motivation to pick himself up and move on.
