Bisexual’s Thoughts

I am a perpetually confused bisexual girl who hates my emotions and needs somewhere to dump them. -Cali-20-

[dancingbisexually]

hi, i am a female and i have recently come to terms that i am not straight, but i have never had a romantic attraction to a female. i also have all straight friends and all of them seem kinda homophobic. so i am asking is it possible to be bi but only sexually attracted to women? or am i overthinking because i have never had the chance to crush on a girl?

Yes, that’s possible! Called heteroromanric bisexual. Definitely a thing. If that’s what fits you best, that’s ok! That’s a thing!

But it’s also possible that you’ve never had the chance to have a crush on a girl or that part of you is still opposed to it because of the people you’re around - as in, it’s not something the people around you encourage, so you never really considered it as a real possibility.

[dancingbisexually]

i began realizing i was bi when i really wanted to be friends with this girl, i then realized it was a crush lol. i was super confused for a while but looked back at my life and was like oh i been lookin at booty for years lmao. but at the same time im still so confused cause i’ve only been with one boy, and i confirmed i was bi bc of lesbian tik tok, but all the comments are like ‘im straight but id let u fuck me’ so now i’m confused again omg like wait what

Hi, I don’t see why other people’s comments on something should make you question your emotions or attraction toward other people. Sounds like you’re bi.

And if you’re really really confused, then just continue to go about your life as you usually would, and if you feel attracted to other women, great, you’ll know and have some confirmation. Don’t worry about it too much.

[dancingbisexually]

Hey I was curious if you have any advice for people who are bi but arent like super into the culture so to say? I've never really been into culture (tho I like learning about them) and Ive never really felt the connection that others do to their cultures. I'm usually okay just being myself but sometimes it feels a bit isolating I guess to see people talk about how much they resonate with and are affected by their culture and history when it's just a "oh that's cool" kind of thing with me y'know?

Do you mean bisexual culture? I’m going to assume that’s what you mean, but correct me if I’m wrong.

Whether or not you resonate with or feel the importance of bisexual culture has almost nothing to do with whether you are actually bisexual or not. Just want to clarify that from the outset - so it doesn’t invalidate you in any way.

If it feels kind of lonely for you, you can spend some time doing these two options:

1) look up bisexual history, learn some facts

2) interact with a bisexual community, like on tumblr, and get a feel for the culture.

It doesn’t need to be important to you, but if you want something to talk about when you’re interacting with other people, then you’ll have that. And if it’s really really not important to you, then just don’t. Just enjoy your attraction to multiple genders and get on with your day.

I would recommend finding some bisexual friends, though. That usually helps with the loneliness and helps you automatically have a sense of bisexual community and culture in a way that is more personal.

Hope that was helpful :)

[dancingbisexually]

Hi, i hope its okay that i ask you for advice. Is it weird that i don’t want to have a boyfriend but i really want a girlfriend although i’m bi? Cause i am attracted to both genders but i only really want to be with women.

No, that’s ok. It’s possible you’re homoromantic bisexual. Or just that you’re bisexual and have a preference. Both are ok and don’t disqualify your bisexuality. So no, not weird.

Just make sure not to bash bisexuals who like people of the opposite sex :)

[sunchosens]

🏳️‍🌈 are you a distinguished gay, a functional gay, or disaster gay? 🏳️‍🌈

[dancingbisexually]

Both is good

[dancingbisexually]

Hi just wondering what it's like being out to your straight female friends? I've recently come to the conclusion that I think I'm bi, and I sort of want to be able to talk to my friends about it. I do NOT have feelings for any of them but we have a school trip next year and I'm worried that they'll be uncomfortable sharing a room/bed with me. Have you ever encountered something similar?

First off, congratulations on figuring out you’re bi!

Oof yeah that’s a tough one. All of the straight female friends I’m out to are very supportive and it doesn’t bother them at all. And for most of my straight female friends that don’t know, if they do know and it bothers them, I’ll be honest, I don’t really care anymore.

But I hear the fear. For instance, I’m not out to my roommate who I’ve lived with for the past two years and will probably live with for a few more. We’re friends, but I don’t know if it would make her uncomfortable, and it’s just more convenient for me not to have to deal with it. So I hear you.

If they’re your good friends, they shouldn’t be uncomfortable with it and they should support you. (Of course that doesn’t mean that’s necessarily the case, I know.) My advice: pick one of them you trust the most and come out to her. See what her reaction is. And leave that for a few days. See if she makes you uncomfortable. And if she’s not, then great, you’ve got a support system and you’re one step closer to your goal.

I wish you well, friend.

[dancingbisexually]

This is fandom related but I do you ever feel weird about using the word gay to describe yourself? I'm bi and I am fine with it but in fandom I've had bad experiences with ppl taking canon bi characters and saying stuff like "they're gay" while propping up their same sex relationships and putting down their opposite sex ones. Idk it just reminds me of my own issues with not feeling queer enough when I'm attracted to a guy and now I'm like on edge if I see ppl use gay to describe those characters

Yeah, I hear that. First of all, I actually think there’s a difference between a bi person calling themselves gay and a non-bi person calling bi characters gay.

I used to be very adamant about the “I’m bi, not gay, and calling me gay is basically equivalent to calling me straight.” I’ve seriously loosened up about that, though. I will never tell someone that I am gay as an identity type thing - I’m clear about the fact that I’m bi. But I will describe certain things I do as gay or myself when I say or do or thing certain things as gay. But I know I’m bi and anyone I’m saying that to knows I’m bi and we know I’m not redefining my identity, but describing certain aspects of what I do and like.

Calling bi characters gay is just full out erasure, because people mean it. And it drives me crazy. For instance, when people started calling Casey from Atypical a lesbian? I went nuts. She is clearly bisexual and they’re just erasing her feelings for men for convenience. That’s not ok.

Make sense?

[dancingbisexually]

So, I’m kinda stuck right now. I think I’m bi, but I’m not really sure. I’ve only ever had one partner, and that was a boyfriend (I’m a girl). I told him that I liked girls too, and he told me not to talk about it. I’ve definitely had crushes on girls, and still do, but I’m just stuck. I feel like I can’t/shouldn’t try to say I’m bi because the one time I told someone, they told me I wasn’t allowed to talk about it anymore, and it was the only relationship I’ve ever been in.

Ok:

1) I’m so sorry that happened to you and that you were in a relationship with someone who was not supportive of your bisexuality. I understand how that would be discouraging and make you feel badly about yourself. My guess is you also felt pretty terrible about yourself when they said that to you, especially because they were someone whose opinion mattered to you at the time, and now you’re afraid that if you come out to someone again, you’re going to feel the same way, and you want to avoid feeling like that. Which makes sense emotionally - the fear.

2) so I think you realize this but it is NOT OK for someone to tell you not to talk about your sexuality. Especially your significant other. Not ok.

3) if you like more than one gender, youre bi. That’s it. You also like girls? Great, you’re bi. Same, girl.

4) I hope that you’ll one day feel confident to come out to someone again and to talk about your bisexuality and the people you like, proudly. If someone isn’t supportive of you, that’s more of a reflection of them than of you, no matter how terrible it might feel for you. Avoid those relationships you can, and pursue ones with kind, genuine people, who also support you.

5) you should feel proud of yourself and feel free to talk about your bisexuality. Don’t feel badly about that.

[dancingbisexually]

Damn

boys in black T-shirts

wow

[dancingbisexually]

One time I was bisexual.

That time is now. And yesterday. And always.

[dancingbisexually]

Girl I Used To Be In Love With was going through our old texts from high school.

Girl I Used To Be In Love With: awww we were so plantonically in love with each other.

Me, knowing that I was way beyond platonically in love with her: mhm yeah aw

[dancingbisexually]

May be a little bit in love with Isabella Gomez, maybe

[dancingbisexually]

How could I let myself get so emotionally attached to someone? Why? How? What am I going to do if I lose them?

[dancingbisexually]

100% bisexual here

[dancingbisexually]

I’m a girl and I have a boyfriend and we just had sex for the first time but I didn’t feel anything. Am I lesbian? Or is there just something wrong with me?

Oh I am NOT the right person to ask this question to. I have no idea.

Things to ask yourself: Do you fine women romantically and/or sexually attractive in the first place?

Seriously though, I don’t know, and I can’t really help you. Sorry. I wish you well, though.

[dancingbisexually]

So I’ve felt like I’ve been Bi for years, but I’ve only ever dated men. I’ve liked girls but have pretty much sabotaged myself becuase of the environment that I grew up in, and thinking that I wouldn’t be accepted. Like I liked a girl, and she liked me, but stuff happened and I ruined it becuase I was scared. But now I’m in a solid relationship, and I’m questioning if I’m even bi or not, and I do t really feel valid anymore

Hi! You’re bisexual. That’s it. Don’t feel a need to question that.

You’ve felt that you were bi for years? You’ve liked girls? You’ve liked and still like men? You’re bi. That’s it.

[dancingbisexually]

I saw a couple asks ago (through tags) that someone thought they were bi but never had crushes? I’m aroace and I would really hate to intrude but the not crushes kinda reminded me of Aromantic bisexual and you totally don’t have to post this but I think that identity could help them. Once again I really don’t want to overstep boundries but it just really reminded me of that label.

Hey, yeah thank you for pointing that out!