You can't Beat the Best

Short tempered front-liner with an artistic streak. (Independent Sunstreaker RP/ask/art blog.) (M!A : None) (Some content may be NSFW)

[dxmnimgood-archive]

"You still have four questions you can't lie on, huh? I guess this makes three now, though. Or I could play nice and add more to this and save you the trouble."

For the next five questions my muse can not tell a lie.Abuse this.

“For the love of primus, just add more so I don’t have toanswer any stupid questions”

“…”

“SUNNY?!”

◣Proceeds to then tackle hug his brother, have fun with this silver pile of clingy, dorky, happiness.◢

[dandelionofdoom]

“That makes two now, yeah? So one’s left, but I thought this was your set of fraggin’ questions, not mine? That sounds like slag worded like that. You better appreciate this.”

A roll of the gold mech’s optics followed, a light snort escaping his vents. “There, five. Fraggin’ done.” At the mass of silver being thrown at his frame, the frontliner only gave a rough grunt, thankful for his thick plating as pedes slipped on ground and he now stared at the sky.

“...Five kliks, and my finish is ruined. New record.”

[dandelionofdoom]

Yeah, but you fixed that now. So when are you going to do like a 'normal mech' and abandon Tracks?

"Who fragging said I was? I did this for me and him. Now we can have the freedom to do our own slag whenever and he's not running around with me handcuffed to him for it. At least I hope... I don't fragging know if it'll hold or not."

[dandelionofdoom]

so you don't care about what happens to tracks, as long as you can get up and leave at any time. he's just a vague collection of things you like to distract you from your self-pity for a while.

"Exactly. That, right there. 'So I can get up at any time'. Like a normal fragging mech could do with their partner. From what I know, Tracks is fine away from me, even for a while. Me? Not the same case when your spark needs another to live. Not that I'd expect you to understand, but I'll put it int he bluntest way possible. My spark is like a battery, not an energy source like normal mecha. I can go fine for a few hours, maybe a few days, but I risk deactivation if I don't get charged up with a proper power source."

[citymech]

Tracks had a broken spark, some fragged-over feelings, and had the roughest two months of his entire life behind him already over. There were more to come, but for now, as he stared at Sunny, listening to his words, from what the other mech said it seemed the golden frontliner was having a rougher time with this than he was, and will have a rougher time as it progresses. As Sunny spoke, bellowed, barked, and yelled at him, Tracks stood there and listened. The more Sunny spoke, the less the noble new what to say. The more Sunny spoke, the less Tracks was able to be angry with him.

"You are not useless," he finally told him, shaking his helm. Tears streamed down hi faceplates freely once more, the noble no longer rubbing them. He felt for Sunny — while he only had the bond with his lover for a couple years at most, he knew what the loneliness felt like. The quiet in his spark, the churning, blackened hole where Sunny used to be.

Shaking his helm once more, Tracks finally took a deep breath and told him what he wanted. "Shut up."

That was all Sunny got before Tracks closed the distance between the two of them. He grabbed Sunny’s helm and practically crashed their lips together, pressing his frame to his former bonded’s own. He didn’t care of this was the wrong decision — didn’t care if this would hurt him again. He couldn’t stand just staring at Sunny, couldn’t stand not touching him. He just missed him far too much.

[dandelionofdoom]

Those two words cut sharply, a snarl building in the gold mech's throat til it was cut down in an instant. Sunstreaker froze. Caught in the kiss, his frame completely stilled, optics wide, but unseeing. That fear that always existed still lingered, hidden and nervous as a newspark, even though he'd done and seen worse. Even if he had found his freedom, his continued life was no promise. It was this that made him edgy, always looking for doubt and lies like what he had always been fed.

Yet... here he had been the one to take charge. To lash out, to cause pain in the worst of ways. And while he'd been scolded for it, he was kissed? 

Any anger that the frontliner may have held died, withering away to a solemn uncertainty. And while equally uncertain servos hung at his sides, unsure if to touch back or keep still, the tension in him bled out.

The fight died. If only to return the kiss.

[dandelionofdoom]

why the hell are you even IN a relationship, if you feel the very foundations of one (ie, concern and communication) make you into a 'pet'? you don't want tracks to see your point. you want him to submit to you right now, and recognize you as his 'master'.

"Let's put it this way. I don't give a frag what he is. If he's on 'the leash' so to say or not. So long as there's no collar on my throat, I don't really care. The collar being my spark needing support so I can keep living. That's what I don't like. Cause the one who held my spark, literally held it, was fine to toss me away to die. I'm not letting that slag happen again. I have to stand on my own pedes. That's what this fragging slag was for."

[dandelionofdoom]

man can you have one conversation and NOT turn it into a 'who got hurt worse' contest?

"So what I feel is pointless then? Should I play ‘nice’ and be a ‘good pet’? Shove aside my own abuse to comfort another? Let alone comfort the one who used to get mad at me for longing for my twin?"

[dandelionofdoom]

He's mad you didn't give him a warning, Clearly, giving him a warning would have made him not-mad. I swear man. You. Suck. At. This.

"I'm well aware I 'suck at this'. Tell me something I don't know. Last I checked I 'sucked' at anything."

[citymech]

"TELLING ME WOULD HAVE MADE ME NOT WORRY!" the noble bellowed back, though his anger was fading, optics still pelting out tears. The noble was gaining more desperation, more need, more want as he stood here, staring at his former bonded. "Telling me would have made me not panic when you were gone so long — telling me would have prevented me from hurting so damn badly!"

The noble sobbed a little where he was, shaking his helm for a moment before he was forced to wipe tears from his optics. If Sunny had noticed, his plating was quite dull, and it didn’t help he was already low on energon. He didn’t care to keep up appearances when he was this upset.

"I don’t know what I want, Sunstreaker, I don’t know what’s safe! What hurts less! Telling you to leave, or telling you to frag me senseless, because those are the two directions I wish to go and both hurt!

[dandelionofdoom]

Sunstreaker shook his helm, "No. You would have been pissed. You would have NEVER let me walk off to that if you knew it had a chance to kill me. And now, yet again, I'm stuck here. Bending to what YOU want! I have half a processor to make the choice FOR you! I didn't say slag when you wanted to go mess with other mecha. OR when you tried to hook me and Blaster up for YOUR fun. I let you do it! Cause you held so much over me! Love or not, do you have any fragging clue how it feels to go your whole EXISTENCE with your LIFE in someone elses SERVOS!"

"It fragging sucks!" He snarled. "And even now I'm not guaranteed that! I left with a 'you might survive or not, but it'll take a couple years to know' hanging over my helm! My spark is stable, FOR ONCE, on it's own! But Primus only knows if it can or will last!"

"And even then! If I did want a little pit-spawn running around, fixed or not, it's NEVER going to happen! Stable, yeah, fertile? Not a kilk. Can you even FATHOM how that feels!? Knowing how USELESS I am!? So useless that the primus damned BREEDERS in the PITS debated putting a bullet in my helm for it! And even now! You have NO CLUE how fragged up in the helm I am! How QUIET it is! How DEAD I feel! And I did it FOR YOU! Cause YOU wanted it!"

"So go on then! Toss me away! I don't give a slag! And I've lost all the fucks I could give anymore! I'm TIRED OF BEING SOME MECH'S PET! Tired of BEGGING cause my SPARK demanded it! Tired of being UNABLE TO FUNCTION ON MY OWN!"

[dandelionofdoom]

really? you couldn't have just gone like 'yo whutup bro is an aft gonna kick him out of spark also this might break things yolo'

"Oh yeah. Cause that would have so worked. 'By the way, Tracks, I'm going to try to remove SIdeswipe from my spark. Wish me luck that I won't die in the process~!' Please. He can be torqued all he wants. If he tosses me away, at least I know what to slagging do."

[dandelionofdoom]

Sunstreaker’s own plating bristled up with a snarl of his own. “This is me not being a primus fragged, glitch! Me with a kinda whole spark now, that at least won’t KILL me or send me into NEEDY fits of malice and biting! Or needy fits of longing for HIM! THAT’S WHAT I FRAGGING DID, YOU AFT! Purged him! Excuse me that it’s finally about you for once!”

Riled, the gold mech half paced, fingers twitching and clenching to fists in his rising anger as he huffed and snorted like a penned bull.

[citymech]

That was a surprise, something he clearly wasn’t expecting. Sideswipe had returned, so the only thing the noble could think about as that Sunny had run off to be with his twin, to abandon Tracks. The noble figured that Sunny had left him to fend for himself, that he didn’t care about their bond, or what it meant.

"You purged Sideswipe?" Tracks asked, momentarily caught off-guard, his optics widening and some of his anger melting away. That knowledge was shocking to the noble, unsure what to make of the golden frontliner now. "If that was what you did, why did you not TELL ME? I am your bonded, I should matter to you — leaving me as you did put me through so much agony and now what? BOTH of our sparks hurt like Pit because of the break, and every single fiber of my being can’t help but hate you for it! I love you, I miss you, I want you, I need you, but I fragging HATE you, Sunstreaker!"

[dandelionofdoom]

"Cause I didn't know if I'd survive it or not!" The gold mech hissed back, lipplates curling in a growl. "I'm fragged up and I know it! I've known it! It's like breaking something stronger than a gestalt bond. From what I figured the worst would be I go insane at the loss and crush my own spark! Of course, PRIMUS FUCKING FORBID, I do anything without telling you! Even if it's FOR YOU!"

Caged as he was, the pacing got faster, more agitated. "So what? Gonna toss me away now? Cause I suffered the same pain and worse from this little 'event', than you did. BUt cause I snubbed your fragging feelings in the process, now I'M the bad guy! You WANTED me to forget about him and not be hung up on him anymore! So I went and DID IT!"

[dandelionofdoom]

just.. wow. couples therapy don't even start to cover this

Casually steps on the little anon. Oops.

[citymech]

"I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS ANY MORE!" Tracks bellowed, positively upset and torn that Sunny wasn’t as affected by this as he is. He wanted to tell Sunny to leave, and never come back, wanted to punch him in the faceplates …. But, oh, the invitation to stay was so easy. It was right there. The could bond again, they could be happy …. But what if Sunny ran away again? He’d already done it twice.

"I don’t kn-know what I want from you! All I know is my spark wants y-you, even though you tore it t-to pieces by doing this." The noble didn’t bother wiping tears form his faceplates, shaking his helm as his shoulders shook. "I am i-in love with you, Sunstreaker, a-and instead of giving that the smallest shred of interest, w-without feeling in y-your spark for that YOU KNOW is there, y-you …. You rip away from me!”

[dandelionofdoom]

Sunstreaker's own plating bristled up with a snarl of his own. "This is me not being a primus fragged, glitch! Me with a kinda whole spark now, that at least won't KILL me or send me into NEEDY fits of malice and biting! Or needy fits of longing for HIM! THAT'S WHAT I FRAGGING DID, YOU AFT! Purged him! Excuse me that it's finally about you for once!"

Riled, the gold mech half paced, fingers twitching and clenching to fists in his rising anger as he huffed and snorted like a penned bull.

[dandelionofdoom]

good job asshole

"Go frag yourself sideways." Comes the flat reply. 

[dandelionofdoom]

"Not anymore. I got that fixed." Rising to his pedes, the gold mech shrugged, rather calm despite the yelling. "Wasn’t fragging fair you got saddled with me. Just so I could keep going. So. I went and got it fixed. Spark’s stable on it’s own now. Hurts like frag, but being unbound won’t kill me anymore at least."

Sunstreaker gave another shrug. “Not that I don’t want you, but I wanted it to be real. Not cause you had to, not cause my life depended on it, but cause you wanted to be bonded. That’s why it broke. The bond, I mean. When I had this… thing done.”

[citymech]

Tracks’ spark twisted in its casing, feeling like it was trying to burst out. Really, though, it was, as it could sense the other half that it had lost nearby, and wanted it back. It hurt terribly to see Sunny before him and not be able to feel him. Tracks wanted to hit him. To beat him into a pulp, to hurt Sunny as much as Sunny had hurt him. He wanted Sunny gone, out of his life, out of his existence.

But at the same time, he wanted to drag Sunny back to berth, to kiss him, hug him. Play with him once more, to re-instate the bond they had lost. His emotions were running rampant, though Sunny’s words were doing little to comfort.

Blinking tears from his optics, anger frustration, sadness, all coming to fruition. “You think I do not want our bond?!” the noble snapped back, waving an arm around. His stance wasn’t friendly, EM field battling every single emotions he could muster. “Y-you honestly th-think that, after all th-the scrap we had been through together, that I do not want our bond?! Your life m-may have depended on mine, but I LOVED YOU. A-and instead of fragging remaining h-here with me, y-you go and do this?! INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO WHAT I KNEW YOU COULD FEEL IN YOUR SPARK, YOU ABANDONED ME?!”

[dandelionofdoom]

Sunstreaker's help tilted, "Loved. As in, used to love." A soft snort escaped him. "I did this cause I wanted to be sure. Sucks, yeah. And if you wanna hate me that's fine too. I'm not a liability anymore. I'm not weak anymore. I don't need to beg and grope for a bonding every week cause my spark wants to die if I don't get it."

"...I do love you, you know. It's why I slagging did what I did. So you don't have to keep stuck with me and sparkling sit me. So you don't have to worry about my spark giving out if you go away. So you don't worry that I'll be alive or not when you come back. It's your call though. I'll leave if you say, or stay if you say."

[citymech]

Tracks couldn’t decide if he wanted to be angry that Sunny left him, or relieved that he returned, or upset that their bond broke, or pissed that he hurt so much. All he knew was that his spark was tying itself in knots right now and he could feel its beat thrumming faster.

"Be pissed?" Tracks echoed, his optics wide. "Y-you honestly think pissed is all I am right now?! Y-you left me, cold and alone, w-waiting here for you to return. I w-wanted you to return to me, safe and unharmed so w-we could be together, a-and instead — what — you had slag t-to do that could not be p-put on hold to just come home? Is that all I am t-to you, someone to keep your spark alive?!”

Tracks hadn’t realized his vocals were rising, tears being blinked out of his optics in order to keep watching Sunny.

[dandelionofdoom]

"Not anymore. I got that fixed." Rising to his pedes, the gold mech shrugged, rather calm despite the yelling. "Wasn't fragging fair you got saddled with me. Just so I could keep going. So. I went and got it fixed. Spark's stable on it's own now. Hurts like frag, but being unbound won't kill me anymore at least."

Sunstreaker gave another shrug. "Not that I don't want you, but I wanted it to be real. Not cause you had to, not cause my life depended on it, but cause you wanted to be bonded. That's why it broke. The bond, I mean. When I had this... thing done."

[citymech]

dandelionofdoom said: 

There might be grunting, somewhere. Soft and muffled and hiding out in the corner he had always taken as his own. Buried under a mass of fluff and pillows and nosing into the fabrics he’d been away from. Content now, to resume being a golden lump.

The noble, having stepped into the room, noted movement over in the corner. Plating bristling as he thought someone was in there stealing, Tracks flicked on the light in order to see who it was.

His spark felt like it wanted to leap out his throat at the glimpse of that golden armor.

For a moment, he couldn’t speak. Didn’t dare say something. He was afraid of this being a nightmare, terrified of him waking up and this just disappearing in a flash. That plating, though, it was gorgeous, and he wanted to touch it, feel it, taste it ….

"You’ve got a lot of nerve coming back here,” the noble finally spoke, his vocals crackling, tone wavering somewhere in the middle of anger and sadness as coolant welled in his optics.

[dandelionofdoom]

A hiss was the first response as the lights flickered to life, only serving to make the gold mech duck under the covers to avoid them with a growl. "Turn that slag off." His helm ached terribly, spark even more, but that he could live with. At least now he could.

"I'll get the pit out if you want me to." Sunstreaker's vocals mumbled tiredly. Though he was already shuffling around, forcing his frame to push itself up and drag all his covers with him so he could shuffle away. "Be pissed. Be torqued, I don't really give a frag. I had slag to do. And you won't have to fragging worry about me keeling over either. I fixed that. So you're free to be unbound."

[dandelionofdoom]

Are you coming back?

((At some point, yes. I've sadly gotten caught up in real world finiancial issues that have taken up a lot of my time. Not to mention Spring and summer are very busy for me. If I can find time I'll try to get more art up when I can.))