soft hearts

[romelzacarnes]

[reigningdaily]

Why not use the hours we have left to seize some pleasure while we still can?

[lizzieforbes]

[dandelionsxmane]

shatteredxsouls​:

A reserved smile shaped itself between both corners of Anakin’s mouth, while he listened to the words from his wife. “ It would take much more than that to destroy me.” He spoke in a subdued tone, with a trace of arrogance emitting from his lips. Anakin lowered his chin down, as a muted exhale followed.  It wasn’t the Jedi way to worry or become consumed by  fear. In fact , he had reached out to Master Yoda for guidance but that turned into a mute point.  Anakin knew he was better than what he had become but it was still foreign to hear another express any worry for him, other than if his actions had led to a compromised mission. Padme was his wife, she had to grow accustomed to him traveling on perilous missions but seldom did he ever hear or sense distress from her. Although he tried not to use his force abilities on her, unless requested. “ I’m not sure why you would be concerned, have I not always returned to you?” 

Feeling her hands grasp for him, the sith  steadily lifted his head back up, returning his gaze towards her.  Her gentle features were mesmerizing. “ There was no need to worry you, it would only cause stress to the baby.” His voice grew softer. “ I couldn't  risk that…..” Anakin trailed off. They had countless conversations on the dreams of Padme dying and each time, Padme ensured him it wouldn’t happen, though he knew better. He had already failed his mom before ,but he wouldn’t make that mistake again.  Death was part of life but through his new powers Darth Sidious was teaching him, Anakin vowed one day he’d be able to stop it. No one would have to feel the anguish of death. 

“ I know that crippling emotion all to well. It feels as if you’re being suffocated and no matter how hard you try, there is no way to catch you’re breath ”  Immediately Anakin stopped speaking.  He bit the bottom rim of his mouth, with hidden tears in his eyes. The sith was emotionally depleted, but that reason itself is why Vader must rise and Anakin must  fall. Anakin was weak in ways that Vader was not.  Everything he had ever believed in was a lie built on deception, but the one thing that remained stagnant and true was his power, really all he had left. Even Padme he was uncertain of , regardless of his unwavering love for her. Of course he was relieved she survived but where do they even go from here.  

her features soften as the curve of a smile is rested beneath tired eyes. a smile that has always been brighter than his sadness. and an ego, one that held confidence she’d fall in love with time and time again, even if at times it could be bred as arrogance. “that’s why i never lost hope.” it would have been easy to give up, to give in, to believe in the dark side they’d sworn anakin had been lost in. but she wouldn’t-- she couldn’t. they were married, a bond for life and beyond it, and what kind of wife should she be if she accepted the worst of his fate? accepted the fact that saving him, was no longer an option- as if it ever was. she’d held her doubts about the republic long before any of this came to, and as intuitive as she was, she hadn’t been wrong. the council allowed themselves to be manipulated, infuriated, betrayed, and innocent lives suffered because of it. anakin skywalker, was one of the first. “oh ani, you can be such a clever fool sometimes..” though her words were laced in kindred softness, she’ll reach up, fingertips draped down the slope of his cheek, beneath his chin. “if i would have told you to stay, you wouldn’t have blinked..” the pad of her thumb touches the corner of his smile, and guides his gaze back to find hers. “i’ve worried for you everyday, since you were nine.” there’s a tiny shake of her head. “why would i have been concerned? how couldn’t i?” 

her lower lip tugged between her teeth, and she lets out a tiny sigh. “babies.” her gaze is matched by his, and she’ll pause before continuing. “two.---  a boy, and a girl.” she’d wanted to tell him before, she’d had been waiting for the right time, a surprise-- before everything fell apart. now, their children were separated on different planets, and her heart ached for them- but it was for what’s best. even now, they couldn’t risk it-- not while palpatine was alive, not while the republic would stop at nothing to hunt them down. they were safe never knowing they were skywalkers, safer separated, than they’d ever be here. her fingertips slipped down from the corners of pursed lips, and to the collar of a black robe, following the touch with her eyes as her palms laid gently across his chest. 

she’d been starved by touch, wanting nothing more than to be wrapped in it again. to feel safe against his chest. without looking at him, she could feel the tears in his breath, or in the way his chest hitched when he spoke. “i’m sorry ani.” her voice soft, as she leans into his chest, tucking herself just beneath his chin, fingertips pressed into his chest. and she has nothing to apologize for, but he needs to hear it. she’s sorry for how things happened, how they turned out, how everyone around him felt like dead ends, to the brink of darkness. she’s sorry that it took her so long to be here, and she’s sorry he’s been left to his own pain, for all the time in between. 

[dandelionsxmane]

shatteredxsouls​:

As Padme posed the question, Anakin’s despondent hues shifted around their surroundings. He sensed potential danger nearing. “ My ship is ahead. If we have any intention to escape,  that is the probable option” The words left his lips in a static tone. He had dodged many perilous situations with Obi Wan and even some with Padme before. Though this was different, they were on their own now. No Jedi or  Siths for support if necessary, just them. Once they entered, the drop ship immediately closed and Anakin ran to the pilot seat, with Artoo and C3PO already boarded. He switched on the auto pilot. Anakin turned his gaze towards Padme who didn’t look well. 

The ship did not move, there seemed to be a barrier surrounding it. In some ways being here reminded Anakin of when he was still a Jedi knight, and Obi-Wan and himself found themselves trapped on the planet Iego during The Clone Wars. Anakin was certain, just like previously, there was a way off this planet as well and he intended to find it quickly The memory of his home planet still taunts him at his every thought. As a boy, he couldn’t get away from Tatooine soon enough. It was such a poor planet and Anakin was enslaved, therefore when a Jedi took him away from it, it was almost impossible not to feel marginally excited, even if leaving his mother was difficult. Despite all that, Anakin now would rather find himself there. 

He walked over to Padme and took her arm. His fingers lightly traced across her gentle skin, drawing small circles. Anakin closed his eyes and felt the force running vigorously through his body as he healed her wounds.The sith opened his eyes once more with a grave expression sitting across his cheeks. Anakin’s hues dipped down before steadily pulling her hand away. “ You should rest” With the words leaving his mouth, he held a unyielding gaze on her for a moment before turning away. 

“and then?” she muses after, trying to find light at the end of whatever plan he’d had. she’d need to know, before she could be any help to him, other than some petty wounded bird. it’s why before they went to the ship, she’d hovered over one of the dropped troopers, and stashed a ray gun in the hem of her cloak. only now, does she carefully pull it out, and set it aside the on the dropship. there was no need to have it on her, not with just the two of them. she can feel his gaze on her, just as she did all those times before this. she couldn’t help but gaze back, and her heart is heavy with the somber in his eyes--- in what he’d done, and how far he’d have fallen to be here now. just how much the council had failed him- how ready they were to kill him, despite obi’s warning. he was still the same to her, if she’d been given just a little more time-- in her heart she believes this could have all been prevented. 

he steps forward, and she still doesn’t drop her gaze, not until her hand is taken in his, and the palm of his touch is gentle across the surface of wounded skin. she can feel it, as the force is gifted from his body to hers, and her brows furrow, her eyes lingered on his features as his are closed. he’d stunned her the moment kenobi had brought him back, as if a no longer a boy had been standing there before her, and instead a man. some might have even said, from that moment, it had been love at first sight-- as if their souls had found one another again. even now, she still bears the snippet gifted to her, under the hem of her collarbones, the very same anakin had given to her as a child. 

it’s as he turns away, does her touch finally grasp forward. leather and black robes cradled between her grasp, in hopes to stop the movement. “i couldn’t possibly sleep right now.” and she’s scared, for every time she closes her eyes, she fears the worst. so instead, she steps forward, warm irises reflected up upon his features, studying him with softness. “they told me you were gone.” at first-- when they knew nothing more. “and i couldn’t think of a more terrible way to die, until the idea of having to live the rest of my life without you, ani.” she understands now, the fear he’d felt then, the agony of being left without the other. 

[shaira-waters]

[lietulietas]

[dandelionsxmane]

shatteredxsouls​:

The stormtroopers aimed their blasters towards Anakin as he approached.  “ Incompetence. I told you, stand down. “  He spoke in a rigid and unyielding tone, while holding a fierce glance on the crew. Anakin sensed their apprehension, which only fueled his desire for a fight more. He flung his leg up and kicked a blaster out of one of the stormtroopers hand.  Once the trooper was unprotected, immediately , Anakin sliced  off their helmet with his saber.  The other members attempted to shoot at him, but missed. The sith spun his body in rounded circles, as he swung his saber fighting the others.  His movements  were graceful and fluid. Anakin’s bronze ringlets fell into his eyes. This went on for a few minutes until all troopers were down. 

Anakin eyes stared at the lifeless bodies for a split moment,  before turning his gaze back to Padme. “ It’s done” The remark fell from his mouth in an apathetic tone, noting her eyes shut. In truth Anakin hadn’t thought any of this through. Darth Sidious wouldn’t be pleased with him. Although, had the stormtroopers not shot at Padme and followed his orders, this could had been prevented. Anakin had two options now, go with Padme in hopes she survives with him or stay, and both of them were likely dead.There were sure to be more to come. He hated fleeing from a fight, but if it meant keeping Padme from harms way then he’d do it.The material of his gloved hand brushed underneath Padme’s jaw. “We have to go now” 

His ship was a distance away. In fact it would take a while to even get to it. A muted exhale of air fell from his lips as he begun walking.  The cool air brushed against his skin. Thoughts of the previous conversation between the two overplayed in his mind. [It wasn’t you Ani] It was perplexing to even consider the notion. Anakin can vaguely remember anything from Mustafar, but the heartache of seeing his wife fall to the ground at his hands isn’t a memory one can easy disperse, no matter how hard he tried. Silence filled the air between the two of them for a long while, in a way, it was similar to walking with a stranger, only he knew her but did he? 

her shoulders jumped as the blasters went off, all of which would miss both intended targets. whether or not it had to do with the force--- she wouldn’t ask. instead, when her eyes open, his chest is rising and falling, and beads of sweat touched his temple. his gaze is prominent, and she wonders if he’ll ever look at her as he once did, if the ani she knew, would love her as she did him. she’ll feel the slight comfort of leather, as it’s as gentle as she once remembered. soft brows are furrowed together, and she nods, though her gaze flickered between anakin, and the follow soldiers-- where there would likely be more to come. “go where, ani?” there’s desperation in her voice, because despite the anger that still rises beneath the surface of pain, he is still hers, as she is his. still, she pulls the tattered hood back over her head, and tilts her features to hide beneath the cloth as it lengths down to the ground with each step. 

they’re moving quickly, and she’s close to his side, but the silence is still an everlasting volume. it’s deafening, and brings little hope to the rekindle that she’d wished for. as they made it closer to the ship, storm troopers stormed the planet from other directions. the sound of leather clad against metal, as they entered their only way off this dying planet. she can’t help but pause, her brows furrowed as she hears the cries of innocents caught between a war they’d never seen coming. her eyes close, and she sucks in a breath. she couldn’t save them. not without saving him first. as the dropship doors began to close, it was no secret that the troopers would find the bodies soon, and be on the hunt for padme’s ship. it’d be the first place they’d find, and search. never imagining that she was aboard that of a sith, instead. even that word-- it strikes a cold chill, and she refuses to linger on it for long, until they’re gone-- and at lightspeed, somewhere in the galaxy. 

the silence is still hurting her, as the ship is switched onto autopilot. “i need bandage.” another pause of silence, as her gaze lingered on the back of a captains chair. he could heal her with a touch, but would he? and would she allow him to? either way, she had always been more than capable of tending to herself. he’d been ordered to protect her once, and now? he chooses her again, whether it’s voiced or not. still, the adrenaline is beginning to fade, and despite the strength behind poised shoulders, she was still weak. she’d survived his anger, she’d survived childbirth, only to barely make it through a life syphoning energy that still kept her lightheaded. but time was of the essence, the longer she waited returning to anakin, the worse the fate of the galaxy would be in. and you can see it, in the way the color faded from rosy cheeks, and how her uninjured hand briefly touches her temple, with eyes blinked shut. she may feel faint, but she’ll touch the metal of the ship’s cold cabin walls, and attempts to steady herself. 

[dandelionsxmane]

shatteredxsouls​:

 Anakin heard Padme speak his nickname that she had called him so many times before, but instead of feeling relief, anger sat with him. He tightened his lips at the words that fell from Padme’s mouth. Outrage and anger continued to flow through his body. “Stop talking!” The sith roared loudly, with his veins blistering in rage. He couldn’t take any more of the nonsense. Subconsciously he knew everything he did was wrong, in actuality he hated himself for it. Perhaps that is one of the reasons he now refused to turn against it. He had done too much and it was his own punishment for the actions he had taken.  The dark force was now the only path for him. 

Everything Anakin had done was to ensure Padme survived childbirth but none of that mattered to her. He didn’t matter. Obi Wan had always been jealous of his power and the only way the Jedi could defeat Anakin was to take Padme from him. With those thoughts circling through his mind, the growing anger intensified. “You speak as though you cared. Though we both know you do not.” Anakin paused before proceeding further. “Padme you used me just as the Jedi have since I was a boy, but even when my faith in them faltered it never did in you until you proved otherwise. However, I will not be deceived anymore.”  He spoke foully at her, keeping a distance between the two

In spite of Anakin’s distrust towards his wife, she didn’t  waver in her convictions and it became more difficult for the sith to dismiss her words. Padme was alive and well, all that he had ever wanted, but he had to question why would The Chancellor lie to him. The only reason Anakin had even joined him was for her. He had known for years now that the Chancellor thought differently than the Jedi, which is why he had trusted him but had this been trust been misplaced, as everyone else in his life? 

A small tear streamed down his cheek as she spoke of Mustfar. Anakin can’t  remember everything, it’s almost become a faded memory that plays inconsistently in his mind. A memory he had desperately been trying to disperse “ Stop” Anakin’s voice grew soft as his hues shifted to the side, not even wanting to gaze at her anymore. The pain and realization of everything was too real. Suddenly,  he felt the gentle touch of his wife’s hand against his skin. Her touch was still so warm, just as it had always been. The brief moment of relief was taken away when he sees a blaster almost hit her. Swiftly Anakin turns towards the troopers with a venomous glance.  The sith glides his feet towards the crew as he ignites his lightsaber, but the corner of his right eye looks over his shoulder at Padme. 

“Stay there, alright” 

he pleads with her for silence, but she can’t abide. if she is silent, the pain will be too much to bear. if she is silent, the rage will conquer him as it had before. she’d seen what reckless animosity did to anakin. she saw what his feelings had done to that village, all those years ago-- and who the turmoil can be nothing short of terminal in his anger. and yet, she loved him not in spite, but through it. “i can’t.” she responds, as her touch is guided down to her hand, the smoke from the blaster stinging in the sight of small bubbling blisters on soft fingertips. “we don’t have much time ani.” and it was wearing thin by the moment, each second he tried to fight her. each second he tried to hush the words that were the only ring of truth he’d heard in years- and the realization that would come with it. “i can’t leave here.” and he knows that, deep down. this was a crossroads for padme. either try again, or die in the crossfire. there was nothing left for her to lose, when he takes her heart on his sleeve wherever he travels. 

and in one motion, the softness in his voice comes with waves of relief, just before the blaster had struck them back into reality. and the truth was, palpatine would never allow her to live. “it wasn’t you, ani.” she finally says, because he needs to know. “i felt this darkness collapse around me, like i never had before. the will to live-- it’s like i was being drained, like the light was being taken-- hours after we left mustafar.” she wants to take a step forward, but the light of a red saber, illuminates the troopers as his back turns. “anakin, it was palpatine.” another breath, as she cradled her hand to her chest. “he’ll have me dead. ----- i won’t survive a second time..” 

she understands his anger, because she can feel it. she wants to wish ill on those that would hurt her, that would hurt the people she loves-- the only ones she loves. she wants to wish ill on those who have murdered the innocents, and the troopers in white that blindly followed the empire, even as it began to crash. but she wouldn’t. --- because it’s easy to lose yourself in that hatred, in the power. her heart is beating frantically, and she’ll stand in place where she’s asked to. “ani, can’t you see? they’re ordered.” and not by him. 

palpatine would stop at nothing until she was dead, and he was cruel enough to manipulate anakin into being the hand that held the blade. however, he’d accounted for the fact that there would always be a light in anakin, as padme breathed. so if it came to it-- if she survived whatever it was he did to her, if there was a turning of fates that ignited something good anakin, the sith would make sure she didn’t live to see it thrive. 

“i’m not leaving you again.” but she stays, and her eyes close. 

[dandelionsxmane]

shatteredxsouls​:

Anakin could sense her uneasiness, while keeping an unbending glance on his wife. “ I did it all for you!” His voice rose in fury. As angry as the once Jedi was at Padme, he would never dare wish harm on the person whom he loved most in the galaxy. While he looked at her, Anakin was only filled  with more rage. Fury of the idea that she had chosen the real enemy over him. Everything he had done was in the name of not only protecting Padme, and their child but for the betterment of their galaxy. The very idea the two had been working towards. Despite all the actions that were taken, Anakin still believes he was fighting the good fight against the Jedi who were staging an overthrow against the Republic. The Jedi were a corrupt illusion of protection that had to be destroyed. 

His eyes were filled with hate and grief, and for a moment, they veered down  to the ground with a large exhale following. Visions of suffering and pain consumed his every thought. After a moment, Anakin returned his fierce gaze to the female, with their eyes locked on one another. Memories flooding through his thoughts. He can recall the moment he knew he’d marry her one day. Padme was the most beautiful he had ever seen, and though he was just a boy when they first met, Anakin still knew. He became captivated by her, and thought of her everyday even in the most perilous or menacing missions. Anakin never doubted her love for him, that was until Mustafar. At that very thought, ferocity begun boiling inside him.

The troopers weapons pointed at Padme as they gradually approached. Anakin lifted his chin up as he turned to the side, and motioned for them to lower their weapons “ Stand down”  His voice was  vigorous and commanding. “That’s an order” The sith returned his glance to Padme, as a deeper scowl formed across his face “ How could you even ask me that? It is you who came to kill me” Once more his voice rose in intense outrage. Anakin balled his hand in a fist, inhaling deeply, in an attempt to remain calm. He couldn’t hurt her, not again. 

the raise in his voice causes the depths of her heart to crack and break beneath the surface of an unwavering gaze. she doesn’t flinch, she doesn’t shudder until the tilt of anger, as it rises to a boiling point. she feels nothing other than his pain, and the weight he seems to bare on his shoulders alone. “ani-- you must see.” it’s almost pleading with him, and the warmth in her stare is tilted by the gloss of tears, all but yet another she’d cry for him-- not because of him. she could feel his anger, as if it were her own. she could take his weight, and wear half of it on her back, if it meant he were able to stand again. “they’ve lied to you.” her voice is careful, but still just as trusting as it had ever been. “they’ve all lied to you.” the council, the empire, the order-- it was all standing tall on nothing other than the lies they’ve fed him, until he was spilt in fours. “but not me.” she swallows hard, truth in the way she looked at him, truth in the way she believed in the good that she saw, that she would always share. “palpatine had you believe i was dead-- how? i nearly lost them-” only then does her voice break. “i can’t lose you as well.” 

dark irises are still misted, and her sharpness is still in the statue of her posture-- a queen before she was anything more. the order barked back at the troopers, and though they lowered their weapons, it wasn’t without consequence of doubt. though, little mind does she pay them, when her job is of much higher meaning, higher than fear-- and higher than death. “i didn’t know obi wan was on that ship-- he pleaded with me to give up on you, he told me--” there’s a tiny sniffle and she shakes her head. “he told me of the hatred that had grown in your heart, and begged me to leave. i couldn’t-- i wouldn’t.” she’s the only one that had been honest with him, the only one not fed through lies for their own personal agenda- no matter how righteous it was then. obi had loved him, too---- just not enough to save him. “mustafar was a mistake, it should have never happened. if i knew- if i knew he was on that ship..” there was a tilted self blame, because it was hers to bare in that moment. if she had found him sooner, if she had known kenobi had stowed away on her ship, she would have never went to him. “i came to you alone-- i know in my heart what is right. and i know in my heart there is still good in you. i know that you would have never hurt me.”

“ani-- look at me..” she finds his eyes again, and through the rage, she sees light. “i would look at death a thousand times, and come back to you each.” a promise she had kept, from the moment she first spoke it. she had never been afraid to die-- never. “i love you, ani. and you-- you love me too. i truly, deeply, love you. and i always will.” there’s a tiny pause, and she blinks back the tears that threatened to touch her cheeks, as they fell anyways. “love me more than your hatred. love me more than your pain, and choose me instead. because i choose you, ani. i choose you over the silence of death, i choose you over fear.” there’s a daintiness in her touch, as her hand rises, just slightly-- reaching out to touch him, to take his face in her palm, when the action sparks retaliation from the army behind him. a blaster is raised, and shot, and though it barely misses, it skimmed her flesh and she pulls back in a sharp gasp of pain. 

[dandelionsxmane]

shatteredxsouls​:

A thin exhale slid from Xavier’s lips, as a somber expression sat across his face. His  hazel hues shifted to the corners of his lids, as he noted the small smile between both nooks of Darlene’s mouth. “Whichever” The words left his lips in a blase tone. He took noticed of her attempt at joking with him.  Xavier had never really been good at that. There wasn’t a lot to smile about past or present but  he was trying,that was more than he could say he had done in the past. Xavier dipped his head at Darlene, as he lifted his left arm up, while placing the palm of his hand behind the nape of his neck. Lightly his fingers rubbed anxiously against his skin.” Uh…. thanks I guess. I got the meal plan here, so I’m straight.” Hesitation was in his voice. 

“Don’t take this the wrong way but why do you still talk to me” His eyes returned a burning gaze on Darlene as he subtly scooted closer to her. Small jitters ran through his body.  So many things had been left unsaid between the two. Even after all this time, it was better but there were moments where Xavier could just look at her be taken back to high school. It was like he was still sixteen whenever she was around. Sure he had been with people since the two of them split but it was different. Not that he’d ever consider going down that road again, it was too fuckin painful, even being friends with her had its moments of difficulty. 

“ It doesn’t matter, forget I said anything.” Another sigh skids from his lips. “ Then why do you drink it if you don’t even like it, that kinda defeats the purpose right?” A thin smirk formed between the nook of Xavier’s left lip. The first smile he had in days. Xavier took another bite of his orange chicken. Shit, he could eat this all day. The sleeve of his shirt slightly rides up, almost showing one of his tats. Xavier was taken by surprise when Darlene noticed and even asked about it. He placed the container of the chicken down, as his hazel eyes shifted down to his skin.  “ Uh….I guess so.” 

she’ll mull it over for a moment, and part of her wants to argue-- tell him that he knows the school lunches are shit compared to someone cooking real food and not frozen-- but she doesn’t. it’s not her responsibility to look after him, nor is it to convince him something would be better for him he opened himself up to it. and old darlene, she would have threw a fit about something as small as a school lunch, but now? she understands the necessity of boundaries, especially when it comes to xavier. he’s made it known, plenty of times-- hurtfully so-- how much he didn’t need her. and sometimes even today, she wonders if it’s still true. not bothering to think about the fact that maybe, someday, she’d hoped it wasn’t. “alright, if you change your mind just let me know.” it’s not pushy, it’s just there. an offer, if he ever wanted to take it some day. 

the question however, threw her for a loop. brows managed to furrow slightly, and she glances back, meeting his gaze. there’s an internal turmoil, caught somewhere between now and the past. every time she’d brought up reasons to stay before, he’d argue with her or find a reason to raise his voice because when it came down to it-- he didn’t believe it himself. he didn’t believe he would ever be good enough, for her to want him around. which is why her shoulders softened slightly, and she thinks long and hard about the answer. “because..” it dragged on softly, and she shrugs, just the smallest bit. “i missed you.” and she’ll let it linger. it was a good answer, he couldnt tell her it wasn’t true, or that she was lying. “maybe i shouldn’t have, but..” there’s a tiny shrug, because there was no reasoning to why you felt something. you couldn’t change it, you couldn’t fight it--- so you might as well come to terms with it. “doesn’t mean i didn’t, i suppose.” 

she wants to say it matters, because it does- to her. but she doesn’t, because arguing to him about it wouldn’t help. she’d learned that before, one too many times. though, the smirk catches her off guard, and she can feel her body warm slightly at the sight. there’s a playful roll of baby blues, and she shakes her head. “because i think i might drop dead if i spent the whole day with no caffeine.” musing with a smile, before she takes a closer look at the skin beneath the hem of his shirt, and very carefully, traces a small touch on the trailing of ink. “i’m thinking of getting one. would you go with me?” 

[dandelionsxmane]

shatteredxsouls​:

.“ Fair enough.”  Xavier’s  response was short as he pinches the chopsticks with his index fingers. Everything between the two of them in recent months had become simpler than it ever was when they had dated  years back. Far different than yelling at each other every other minute. They may be closer now but there still remains distant and mistrust, at least for Xavier.  Everyone knew Xavier was shut off or emotionless, but  he was  also still pretty fucked up over the past, probably more than even Darlene was. She seemed happier, he on the other hand was just better at hiding his conflict.  “ I won’t argue with that.” Xavier took another bite of the orange chicken, as a thin sigh skated from his lips. “ Not sure the last time I ate here”

He shifts his body in the bed slightly to the right,  as the two lock eyes for a brief moment. What was really fuckin annoying, was even after everything that had happened, she still could get to him with just one look. Like it was high school all over again.“Alright deal. I will get you coffee next week. Not sure how anyone drinks that shit but ya.”  Xavier nodded quietly, as he eyes moved around his room. “ Got it. Just saying you don’t have to___ “ He paused again “Never mind, I want hang out with you too, just think you would have more fun with someone else. ”

high school had been a rough time for both of them, they had both been dealing with more on their plates than anyone their age should ever have to go through. they weren’t in the right headspace to understand each other, and there was still a long road ahead of them, yet still-- they somehow were better off now than they ever had been before, even during their peak. because now, he could look back at her, and without a scowl between his brows or a puff of breath muttered underneath the words-- he could admit to wanting her around, wanting her to stay, appreciating little things that she did that barely required effort- but still meant something to him. she could look at him, and not feel the same way she had when they were together. she wasn’t disappointed, she wasn’t hurt, she felt--- something new. something uncharted. “in your bed, or in your apartment?” words held a hint of playfulness, but there was genuine curiosity to her voice. “you know, if you ever wanted to-- you could come over for dinner. i still live alone, and... there’s always so much food left over, i usually just bombard lexi with it, but ya’ know- offers there if you ever want it.” 

long blonde hair falls down either sides, nearly to her waist now, but tucked behind her ear. “mm, see there’s this trick to it-- i like my coffee, but only when it doesn’t taste like coffee. it’s mostly sugar by the time i get my hands on it.” it didn’t go unnoticed, the way he looked at her, or the way it unwillingly flared something inside of her that was supposed to be kept buried. she knew how this thing ends, and they were doing so well now--- she didn’t want to fuck it up again. still, her eyes wonder, just for a moment, and there’s a thining smile that touches the corner of her lips with those last words. “don’t make me hit you with these.” she waggles the chopsticks, but it’s only playful. though, with her wondering eyes, they catch corners of ink peeking out from his marked skin, and she nods towards it. “mind if i see?” 

[dandelionsxmane]

shatteredxsouls​:

 Xavier shifted his body up, as his nostrils slightly flared at the smell of the food in the room.  “ I’m up, I’m up.” The words swam from his lips in a dim tone. “ Fuck, I’m glad I skipped that.  Not that anyone noticed.”  He mumbled under his breath, with a shrug. Casually, Xavier grabbed his gray worn shirt that was laying beside him, and pulled it over his chest. He had probably been in and out of sleep for a couple of hours. Sleep was better than thinking.  “ You know you didn’t  have to do that. I think I’ve some noodles in the fridge Dar.”   A small smile formed between the corners of his mouth for a brief moment before his lips straightened.  There were so many memories linked to that nickname. Memories that had taken a long time for Xavier to come to terms with. “ I won’t say no to eating Chinese with you though. ” 

Xavier placed his elbows on his kneecaps as his eyes dropped slightly. “ Uh…thanks for this. I owe you one.” His eyes lifted and steadily wandered over to Darlene as she sat next to him. He gazed at her for a moment longer than he should have. Xavier teasingly grabbed one of the the containers from her hand. “ Thank you”  Silence filled the air between them for a moment , as he took a bite into the rice. “ You know you can go fuckin hang out with them. You don’t have to stay here with me  and before you say something, no I’m not fuckin saying I don’t want you here I’m just saying.” Xavier was never good with expressing himself, especially with Darlene. He was better at it with Samantha . Maybe because they were just friends and no complicated past was intertwined in that relationship. 

maybe a year or two ago, she would have laughed at the idea of xavier actually wanting her to stay-- without the possibility of sex. that he was actually thankful for something small darlene had done for him, without giving much thought as to why, or ulterior motives behind it. maybe, she would have also laughed at the idea of her being able to leave, if he asked her too, without it feeling like the world was going to crash and burn around that fragile heart of hers. “i know.” she’ll answer, the mattress indenting slightly as she made herself comfortable across the duvet. still, she tries to focus on something else, anything other than the way his skin peaked from underneath the duvet as he reached for his shirt, or the underlining tension that pulled at her heart strings, suddenly, at the sight. old memories hit her, almost like whiplash- of them intertwined together and breathless whispers from between the sheets. it’s an invading thought, and not one she’d had in awhile--- god, she’ll brush it under rug as a fleeting thought, and based souly on the fact she hadn’t slept with anyone since her ex. “and that’s because their orange chicken is the best in town-- for ten bucks.” she’s teasing, and there’s a quiet nod, before she shrugs fondly. --- his smile still catches her off guard, even months after their rekindle.. maybe because he was rarely ever happy before, even in fleeting moments.”plus i’m kind of still hungry, and this way it won’t go to waste.” 

he’s looking at her, and she does her best to pretend it doesn’t still effect her, so blue eyes glanced up, met his-- and she’ll smile just faintly, before returning her gaze back down to the chopsticks. “you can bring me a coffee next week since i’ll be studying in the library all night for finals, and we can call it even?” because she knows he’d feel better if it didn’t feel like a handout, he’d always hated that---- she’d remembered. meanwhile, comfortable silence touched the space between them, until he speaks again. “i know what you meant.” she finally responds, biting into the chicken, and glancing up at him from across the mattress. she wasn’t as fragile as before, not as sensitive, not entirely made of glass. her feelinsg weren’t easily hurt these days-- and that’s proven to be a good thing for them. “but i’d rather hang out with you.” darlene finally adds, though his nickname does cause something to flutter in her chest. “besides, i think that they wanted some alone time anyways, if you get what i mean. so-- consider me hiding.” 

[dandelionsxmane]

the evening had been pretty good, the four of them sitting in the living room-- axel, his girlfriend, and their mutual friend samantha. xavier had to of been somewhere-  group settings and board games weren’t exactly his thing, and to be honest, if it wasn’t for larissa, she wouldn’t have guessed it had been axel’s either. still, after sam had left, and larissa had gone to bed for an early class the next morning, darlene glanced at the interaction between the best friend, and between the male, and she keeps quiet with a raise of her brows. “what? nothing-” hands raised in the air, like a sign of defense, despite the fact she’s swallowing a smile, with a tiny shrug of her hands. “i told myself i’m done meddling with other people’s business so--” though despite the words, she lets out the faintest of laughs. 

the truth was, axel and darlene were more alike than either of them knew. and tonight? it only seemed to prove it. with the way he watched sam, and the intertwined touches that were barely anything above eye contact, darlene knew the look. she knew what it was like to be in love with the wrong person, in love with someone you shouldn’t be. but still, she doesn’t say it out loud, because she’d been there once- with xavier. she’d fallen for the bestfriend, and fuck-  it was messy. hell, they were just now able to get through all the chaos it’d caused in the past, and if that didn’t tell you anything, nothing would. “so um. how long have you? you know?” her nod is directed to the closed door down the hall- not the one belonging to his girlfriend-- but the one belonging to a friend, a roommate, and one hell of a mess if it ever got out. 

[shatteredxsouls]

@dandelionsxmane​

The crown of Xavier’s head laid against his pillow as he shut his eyes. It was one of those nights where every thought was debilitating, and he would do just about anything to end the pain and conflict that lived in his mind. Xavier never really had friends; infact, most of the people he hung out with were more so friends of his roommate rather than him. Not that he blamed them, after all, if he didn’t even like himself  why should it really be different for anyone else. Tonight everyone was in the living area getting high, but he just wanted to sleep it off.   Xavier’s thumb steadily brushed against his eyebrow as he dozed off into non-rem sleep.

His body remained still on his bed, drowning out the chatter from the other room.  After minutes, the door knob to his room slowly turned. “ Huh” Xavier mumbled under his breath. Had he been more awake, he probably would have noticed it was Darlene.  Recently the two had started hanging out more, ever since running into her at the art show a couple of months back. Though Xavier hasn’t admitted it out loud, or rarely to himself, there was  comfort  being with her on that night. Large crowds always causes him crippling anxiety,  and as an artist that can be tricky. Their ending was hell, it was a shock that now they could even be in the same room without biting each other’s heads off. 

His eyes halted opened for a brief moment before shutting again. “ What?” The question glided from the crest of his lips in a groggy tone. Art was really one of the only things that brought him comfort, but as he was nearing the end of the semester, Xavier was growing restless. Graduation would start to soon approach, then what the hell was he suppose to do. As much as teachers and even classmates told him he was talented, it wasn’t easy to believe, not when his parents words overplayed in his mind all the time. 

[dandelionsxmane]

days turned into months, and the idea of being in the same room as xavier no longer would timid her. she could see him with different eyes and a healed heart, and it was becoming easier to focus on the good that was brewing from their friendship, than all the bad that came with it before. there were no hidden agendas, not anymore, there was no jealousy intertwined to the point it became toxic and hard to breathe. they could finally coexist, and be good for each other, even if it was platonic. she’d come to see his roommate, seeing as axel and darlene had somehow tangled a friendship along the months of being around each other. they had a lot in common, he was easy to talk to and to understand, because they lived through the same era of tragedies. a perfect sister, an abusive father-- and an alcoholic. still, seeing xavier had always been a plus, and even darlene was surprised by that. when she snuck into the room, there’s a plastic bag in her hand, and a styrofoam take out container inside. “sorry, didn’t mean to wake you up--” she thought he might have gotten up by now, but still. 

“i told you we’d bring you something back, axel’s girlfriend wanted to go to some fancy thai place-” brows raised, and there’s the underlining of a smile tucked between rosy features. “the portions were like, fucking an abomination. forty bucks for a small.” there’s the faintest scoff under her breath, and she rolls her eyes. “so i brought like, a whole pound of orange chicken and rice from that chinese place around the corner instead.” she sets it down on the nightstand, hands perched on her hips for a moment, before grinning. “you’re welcome.” 

she knew him well enough that forcing him to go out with them to dinner, was a bad idea-- especially when he was sleeping. and she knew even more so, that he would have fucking hated that other place anyways. “but you’re sharing it with me, ‘cause that other place sucked.” unwrapping the container from the plastic, she’ll rumble through it for two sets of chopsticks, tossing one on the bed, and sitting next to him. “or you can tell me to fuck off, if you wanna’ go back to sleep.” 

[shatteredxsouls]

@dandelionsxmane​

With Axel’s back leaned against the cushions of his couch, a thin exhale slid from his lips. This last month had been immensely overwhelming. Axel created and launched a game app that grabbed much more traction than he had ever anticipated. On one end it was positive, Sony Interactive Entertainment sought him out to create a game for them because of it, but on the other it was a lot of pressure. Axel had never had such a colossal project like this before. 

Axel pressed his lips together, as another exhale parted from his mouth. Just minutes prior his adopted mother called called. He hated when he hated when he heard from Mia . All of Axel’s life he had never really had parent or any family,  but then he was adopted his junior year of high school. Everything was supposed to get better, but it was really too late for that. He was already fucked up, and some rich family wouldn’t change that.  It had been a couple of years since Axel joined the Coleman family, but still didn’t trust them. None of them even really knew what he was doing, he tried to keep that from them. 

Unanticipatedly Axel heard someone approach. He would know that voice from anywhere.  It had been months now since he first saw her. Axel would be lying to deny the attraction he had for. Truth be told, he actually had a girlfriend but   wasn’t really into her, it was really just something to do. Besides,, the sex was pretty good. Slowly his chin lifted with a shaded expression sitting across his features. “You know you don’t always have to do this when I’m in an off mood” 

[dandelionsxmane]

she’d heard him ruffling around the apartment, long before her roommate had fallen asleep. needless to say, it resulted in earphones dipped between and tucked under her ears, with music loud enough to block out the sound from thin walls and noisy mattresses. god, it’d help if she could actually sleep, if her days weren’t turned upside down with an unpredictable sleeping schedule. however, here she was, still awake, and sneaking out into the living room and cross the kitchen, only to catch his company in between the cushions of a couch he’d spent one too many nights on when he couldn’t sleep. “no, i know.” and she does, but her smile still pulls at the corners of her lips anyways. still, she’s in the kitchen, crawling on top of a kitchen counter, and pawing at a cabinet and a top shelf. “don’t tell larissa, but this is my secret snack hiding spot.” there’s a dip over her shoulder, and a wiggle of manicured brows, before she’s plopping back down on the kitchen tile with a bag of sour twizzlers in hand. “put ‘em on the top shelf ‘cause she can’t reach.” then again, it took a minute for sam to struggle to get them down too. still, she’d slipping around the kitchen island, and plopping down on the couch, making a comfy indent into the sofa next to axel. 

“and you know i don’t..” there’s a tiny shrug, and she’ll swallow. “sleep. sometimes-- probably the caffeine before bed. gotta’ stop grabbing starbucks on the way home.” she’ll feather her own problems, and sweep them under the rug. because frankly, axel didn’t need to hear about the vivid nightmares, or the insomnia pills she refused to take because they made her drowsy in class. how the adhd went untreated most of her life, and how it went hand in hand with the anxiety of laying there in the dark, with her thoughts to herself. he didn’t need her baggage too. so instead, she’ll pull a twizzle from the bag, and offer it to the male, trying not to focus on the fact that heat crept up to her cheeks all the nights they were left alone like this. “b’sides, we both know rissa snores like a motorboat.” she’s teasing, nose wrinkles in a smirk. the truth? sam couldn’t remember a time the three of them weren’t together-- it started out as freshmen in college, fresh meat in a new place-- whereas her and larissa went back further, best friends and attached at the hip since high school. it didn’t matter if sam liked him first--- larissa was the one. she was always the one-- the one everybody always wanted. 

lips pursed, and her shoulders softened. “you wanna’ talk about it, or you just wanna’ like-- fuck off and go wrap everything in the dean’s office in tin foil? ‘cause i could do whatever. you know, ride or die.” she wants a smile, even the smallest of hints, the corners of his mouth twitching into a grin, or the faintest breath of huffed laughter, even if it was at her own expense, or corny jokes. still, she gets quieter, and her gaze will lift to meet his. “you know i’m here, right?” 

[shatteredxsouls]

@dandelionsxmane​

Anakin lifted his chin up languidly as he heard the voice of Padme speak. Typically her presence brought him nothing but serenity to his mind. He was rough in every way imaginable, but Padme had always been gentle and kind, that was before her betrayal. His eyes pierced their glance into Padme with a malevolent and heinous expression. He was eluded into the notion that she had been dead, dead at his own hands. He can’t remember everything from Mustafar, it’s almost become a faded memory that plays inconsistently in his mind. A memory he had desperately been trying to disperse. 

 If there was anything that Anakin was certain of, it was that Padme fed him lies, just as the Jedi and Obi-Wan had done all those years. Darth Sidious had shown him the truth, the enemy was the Jedi and that, of course, is why they kept things from him. There was no dark verse light, it was just the corrupt Jedi council’s attempt to conform him. He was taught to fear the dark side, but that he did not, instead they should fear him. Anakin was uncertain whom he should be more angry at, his master for implying she was dead or Padme for choosing Obi-Wan over him. Anger and rage began to fume through his veins, with his piercing glance remaining stagnant.

Anakin closed his eyes for a moment in an attempt to calm his nerves, opening them only seconds later. The long black robe dragged at his feet, as he took a fluid step forward, standing tall and stark over her. The bottom brim of his mouth curled into a grimace. A scowl sat across his gestures in a discontent expression. “P-Padme” Her name stumbled off his lips as if it was something foreign to him. His hues looked at the one who was now no more than a stranger. Anakin had often wondered how he managed to win Padme over so many years ago, but perhaps he never did, perhaps Obi-Wan was right, all politicians wewere the same. His voice held no emotion other than animosity in his voice. 

[dandelionsxmane]

a bruise kisses the corner of parted lips, and brown eyes are stunned and stained with the weary and tired. needless, even in what was thought to be her last breath, her voice called out his name, and she’d believed in the good that she knew was still within the darkness. an ember would spark a flame, if she allowed the torch to carry through the galaxy. and as it’s said--- empires are built on hope. and that very same, it’d flow through her veins, and find the match needed to bring him home again. the anakin she knew, the anakin she still loved- the one she’d always love, for as many stars there were in the sky, she’d tethered herself to him, with something to believe in---  the good. the light. but the animosity in his voices cracks open wounds neither of them would heal from- the grip that held her, was now suffocating the air from her fears, making it harder to breathe through the flashbacks of their last moments-- of a moment he’d chosen to see, while for padme, it was nothing other than the one she’d hoped to forget. a nightmare, plagued in darkness and defeat. the council failed them-- she wouldn’t allow it to happen again, and she would not stand idly by and watch him lose himself, not again. 

though, with labor birthed in a foggy haze, a set of siblings were lost in the galaxy, for their protection-- for the sake of the empire never learning the truth-- a truth, that was better kept if she knew nothing of it. so they’d take the children, without so much as a word, and she’d become a mother, without her children. the pain was evident, it coursed through her with every breath, and each morning she’d fought for her life, it was easier to give up-- to give in to the silence, the peace, to rid herself of the suffering. and yet, here she was, fought because of the love she had for anakin, in the love she had for her children-- and the hope that one day, they would be together again. obi had warned her about returning to the empire. it’s a death sentence --- he’d pleaded for her reasoning, but she couldn’t have followed him then--- not down a path without reckoning, not when there was nothing left to save. she had to be sure, she had to be certain that he was lost forever, or she’d have to try--  try to bring him back. and if she were to die? it was on the hands of hope- she wouldn’t survive in fear, only to live in vain. he needed her. it’’s why despite the sharpness, or the stumbling of her name, does she not falter, only soften beneath the wrath of the man she’d still loved. “anakin.” her voice as soft as silk, despite the sadness that crept between tear stained cheeks. 

her voice doesn’t crack, composure kept between straight dainty shoulders, amber locks, hidden beneath the cloak of a robe, shielding her face from troopers that embarked across the city, the smell of death lingering with every moment lost of a planet suffering. on innocents they could have saved.”do you wish me ill?” her gaze is lingering, unfleeting, and she’ll swallow harshly. the cloak he wore was nothing short of midnight, red illuminating the chaos of that threat he’d named nothing short of death. she doesn’t stumble or flinch, even after the force had wrapped it’s touch around her throat---and squeezed as the life drained from a fragile frame. she doesn’t cower, as his statue is towering, or the army that wavered at the motion of his command-- troopers rounding the corner, only to raise and point blasters at the marauder of a woman. -- would he allow them to shoot? brown eyes, flickered behind him, though fear will not become her. any who leave here now, will live with the knowledge of her face-- one she couldn’t survive, not with palpatine. “do you wish me dead?”