The Power of Positive Blah Blah Blah
JOKE: One day, while waiting for Tanja in the car in a disabled parking, an elderly man walked up to me and pointed out that the parking was for disabled people. My response was …. I .. I .. I .. I .. know, I .. I .. I .. stutter 😊
Have you ever attended or listened to a motivational speaker or read their books? Of course, so have I.
So, tell me, how long did the hype of the moment last? A few days? A week? A month? How long before you found yourself back where you were before, if not worse than before, because of your high expectations in yourself and the words of someone else?
Well, I don’t see myself as a motivational speaker. I am an ENERGIZER promoter!!
I’m here to help you and show you how reload your battery.
When I was 10 years old, I was sentenced to a life of ailments and a very predictable future regarding my health. Professor van Rooyen was the medical doctor at HF Verwoerd Hospital in Pretoria when I was diagnosed. He said the following to me: (remember I am 10 years old)
You have type 1 diabetes and will need to inject yourself a few times every day for the rest of your life (75 000 injections so far)
You will not grow old or die naturally
You will probably end up with either heart failure or kidney failure or both.
You will most likely lose a limb or two.
One morning you might wake up and be blind.
Wow, that’s a lot for a 10-year-old to digest.
Well, it’s been 48 years since then and here’s my list so far:
Quadruple heart bypass surgery, including a metallic heart valve fitment (side effect – insomnia and a handful of pills)
7 amputations – starting with toes and ending in legs.
Loss of sight in my left eye
Diabetic neuropathy and muscle loss in my hands
And last but not least, my recent catastrophe: Major femur break and pelvic fracture
Not a very encouraging picture ☹
BUT ... I have an ENERGIZER!!! And I can’t keep this to myself.
(Before I explain what I mean by an Energizer, let me point out that I have suffered with chronic depression all my life. I wanted to commit suicide a few times, but thankfully didn’t succeed. I often hear people say that it’s a coward that takes his life, but it’s not and I’m angered by this stupid statement. It takes a lot of guts to commit to this decision)
Getting back to the Energizer:
So, what is an Energizer?
Dictionary: Someone who imparts energy and vitality and spirit to other people
Let me explain: We are living beings, running on energy like batteries. Our batteries run flat from time to time. Some people have the ability to bounce back without too much fuss. Some people struggle to re-energize themselves; some never recover. I have seen this especially with fellow amputees.
The solution to a flat, rundown battery is to find a recharging point and this is what I have come to share with you today.
You do not possess a recharging point within yourself; you need to find it.
In the 17th century John Donne said: No man is an island, and it’s exactly that. We cannot thrive or grow alone. We recharge each other on a daily basis. Whether it’s your spouse, your friend, your pet or a LIFE coach. Find the person that helps you to recharge, that helps you find your strength, that helps you re-energize.
You might say: “I find my strength in a higher power.” Great for you, but here’s where I need MORE than faith. I need my 5 physical senses. If religion is important to you, do it. I’m not here to discredit what you believe in.
What I am trying to say is that you need to connect with someone physically. Someone you can touch, hear and converse with. I found that connection in my wife. She is my Energizer. She’s the one who never gives up on me, encourages me, feels my anguish, ignores my cursing. She allows me to express myself, reminding me constantly that I’m not alone.
My Energizer is a beautiful, real, loving, caring human being.
In 2018 my health took a serious turn for the worst. Things I had previously paid little attention to suddenly became a massive problem. During this time, I was still the owner of a mechanical workshop and the leading mechanic. Tanja was the administrator and organizer in the business and even did the diagnostics on the vehicles. I became listless and weak, lost my appetite and felt an overall unwellness. My GP referred me to a heart specialist who ran a series of tests and discovered that my aortic valve had packed up. I knew a lot about valves but this was a different ball game.
I was hospitalized and underwent a quadruple bypass as well as an aortic valve replacement – a metallic valve, to be specific. One which keeps me up at night unless I take serious sleeping tablets.
Following this, the amputations started. Toes, one by one; half a foot (which was the biggest and most painful mistake ever) and then the legs. Little by little, one at a time. Thankfully it wasn’t all at once, which allowed us to adjust slowly to the loss of limbs. It still wasn’t easy. Remember, I’m a driven, hard-working diesel mechanic, setting the pace in the workshop every day.
Before I had even lost my second leg, we decided to sell the workshop. The stress and anxiety were overwhelming. Not only could I not do what I had done before but the frustration of battling to do a job drove me bat-shit crazy.
We decided to start a niche, upmarket wine and gin bar. A classy but easy-going place. We put all our funds into the shop-fitting and stocking of our new enterprise. The idea was to get it up and running, build it up and sell it, then follow our children to Portugal.
Covid! Covid! Covid! What more can I say? Before even opening our doors, Covid hit us. To make a long, sad and desperate story short, we lost everything. We walked out of that place with the clothes on our backs and what was left after selling all our furniture. The bank repossessed our car and still hound us for money to this day.
Loss of material possessions. Loss of income. Loss of health. Loss of legs. Loss of our precious children, who had already left the country. We felt distraught, alone and afraid, to say the least.
You might think to yourself now: Wow! I’m sure things could not have gotten worse for these people? But wait, there’s more! My father-in-law used to have a saying: cheer up, things could get worse. So, I cheered up, and sure enough, things got worse.
On the 29th of April 2023 I slipped on the garage floor after washing the car. I shattered my femur and fractured my pelvis. I wished to die. I wanted to end my life.
Tanja came to me with the following ENERGIZING words: It is not death that you crave. What you crave is more LIFE.
I had to learn to walk … AGAIN!
It’s been 8 months since that disastrous day and here I am, walking again and not just that, I’m covering about 6 km per day!!!
Here are some valuable lessons I’ve learned while learning to walk with prosthetic legs:
• Don’t look back, you’ll lose your balance
• Keep your eyes on the road ahead of you to avoid the potholes
• There are some things you can’t change, make peace with that.
The weight of financial responsibilities can be crushing, but it's crucial to remember that you are not alone in this struggle. Come. Come, let me share with you the lessons we've learned.
There were times when bills piled up, the banks phoned 10 times a day and the future seemed dismally uncertain. But with determination and creativity, we found various ways to try to make ends meet. With both of us being self-employed for the last 25 years, we found ourselves unemployable, so we had to embrace multiple income streams and turn various ideas into opportunities.
I am a diesel mechanic by trade and that is all I have ever known. Finding new ways to generate an income was as challenging as learning to walk again.
Remember, your potential is vast, and there are often undiscovered talents within you waiting to be uncovered.
Living with chronic health conditions is undoubtedly tough, but it's essential to focus on what you can control. Together, we adapt and find new ways to survive despite our limitations. I say OUR because my limitations become my wife’s limitations. We deal with issues together.
When we run out of options, which has happened a few times, we speak up and ask for support, while finding a way around the problem at hand. Not everyone knows how to speak up. They’re either too proud OR afraid of rejection OR they simply don’t feel worthy.
There have been times when we had no food – we spoke up!
No vehicle with which to do our job – we spoke up!
In need of prosthetic legs – we spoke up!
Medical assistance – we spoke up!
A place to live – we spoke up!
People helped us because they saw our determination, effort and the will to keep going. We were down, but we still tried our best.
Seek support, when necessary, stay proactive in managing your health, and remember that every small victory is a step forward.
In times of financial hardship, health crises, or relationship woes, it's easy to feel isolated. DON’T isolate yourself. Don’t try to climb out of the pit by yourself. Find your Energizer. Connect. Move.
I want to leave you with a TO DO LIST: (an Energizing TO DO LIST)
Breathe deeply (even if it’s a deep sigh). It helps to release negative energy.
Spend time in nature or taking in the wonder of every sunset
Smile (even if you don’t feel like it). A smile is contagious and is AS good for your battery as for the receiver
Walk every day (or whatever exercise works for you)
Greet people (as you walk). We pass people and never think to say Hi. We’ve made so many connections with so many amazing people on our daily walks because we greet every single person we pass.
Spend time with positive people. It rubs off.
SHARE your energy. It’s not yours to keep. When you get it, share it. It’s that constant exchange that causes the Energizer experience to grow.
Now, Get ENERGIZED! You cannot jump-start someone when your battery is flat.
Then be an Energizer. Help to jump-start someone else’s battery by sharing.
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