#doth protest too much
noise dept.
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@danniathinksthis
#doth protest too much
Rose Landry highest self esteem of all time. she has mediocre sex a couple times with a guy who seems not all that into it and goes "hm. Well, I'M definitely not the problem. the only possible answer is that he is Gay."
impeccable reasoning, no notes.
but what if in-verse for HR, Rose winds up on Hollanov Tumblr or Reddit and becomes online friends with wee Luca Haas who runs it? WHAT IF?
i bet it feels good to be an underwater plant just swaying in sync with the flow of water
happy
Heartstopper Volume 6 is out today!!!! π₯Ή
Friendsβ¦ Iβm newly obsessed with Hollanov. Send help.
(It took me this long to get into it because I had one glance at them and I just knew they were gonna take over my life, now that I gave in: Help, I love them too much.)
After they're out, Shane and Ilya record a lifestyle video together for ESPN. ESPN is chomping at the bit: no one can imagine Racecar Rozanov and Hockey IQ Hollander's life behind closed doors, and they want the exclusive.
The crew shows up totally unsure of what to expect, charmed but surprised when it's Ilya opening the door in a tank and sweats and dramatically sighing, "Is meal prep day."
They spend hours filming the couple navigating the kitchen, arguing over how much salt to put in their egg cups, talking about how they learned to cook together when they first made a real go of their relationship.
Shane keeps his hands busy and his eyes focused on his prep work, and that makes it easier to talk about the murky grey area between healthy food choices and disordered eating. Ilya just rubs his back and mocks how he's dicing the bell peppers and keeps calling what he's wearing his "unlucky sweatpants" until Shane hits him in the face with a spatula while mumbling something about tuna melts.
Surprising exactly no one, the video goes viral when it drops on YouTube. It explodes on socials, with thousands of people stitching together Ilya saying "is meal prep day" with videos of their own meal prep, their healthy habits, sharing their own journey to loving food and treating it as fuel and not punishment. They use the tag #eatlikehollanov and it trends immediately.
Ilya's favorite part is when fans start to battle over #eatlikehollanov - the food posts get overtaken with videos and photos of them out at social events, serving cunt and generally looking like top designers battle it out for who gets repped by The Gay Wonder Twins of Hockey (which they do, and stop calling us that, we're married you perverts).
Then Shane and Ilya are spotted at a bar making out in a dark corner and everyone remembers these two probably spend 30% of their waking hours eating each other alive, and suddenly it's #eatlikehollanov munch munch munch yum yum yum.
The Centaurs jump on the trend, sharing their own food prep videos with increasing innuendo. Luca Haas turning bright red while eating a glazed donut gets 3 million views, but Troy really breaks the internet by eating a banana while maintaining eye contact with the camera the whole time. Harris threatens to replace the Kiss Cam at games with #eatlikehollanov and Shane tries his hardest to crawl into a corner and die because he just wanted to share how he protein loads, you guys, why did you have to make it so weird.
Scott Hunter helps not at all by making blueberry and banana smoothies with Kip. Shirtless.
βtis heated I guess
it's important to me that ilya remains captain of the centaurs after shane joins, but i have a specific picture in my mind of shane being assistant captain and being generally harmless and super chill , so the centaurs see him as like the chill parent (something to be said about shane being content in letting someone else, specifically His Someone, have the reins and enjoying not being in charge) but then ilya has to be out for a few weeks for like health or smth so shane goes into Captain Mode and the centaurs are scared shitless by how intense he gets all of a sudden. the most intense drills of all time. the hardest plays they've ever heard of. the strictest practices on earth. and they suddenly understand why shane led the metros/voyagers to victory so many times and why ilya treats him like the boss in their relationship. and then as soon as ilya comes back he turns it off and the centaurs are like Oh Thank Fuck Because What The Hell Was That
ilya 'needy top' rozanov
151. #yoylamuerte y la venganza.
It's like... there's you, then there is everybody else. But there's you.
The Morning Show 4x10 - Knowing violation
Alex calls Cory out on his Bradley!bullshit THE MORNING SHOW 4.06 "If Then"
Later...
Every time Jaime and Brienne touch in A Storm of Swords
πππ πππππ πππππππππ ππ πππππ πππππππππ
red jacket with grey undershirt. 5.02/6.01 and others.