jingle my balls.

all for freedom and for pleasure, nothing ever lasts f o r e v e r everybody wants to rule the world. leigh daniel avidan DAN AVIDAN | INFP former comedy rock-star; currently a jingle writer. sufferere of NRB condition. [written by Wolfie.]

[dannyjingle-blog]

altxsarab:

I have too many nieces and nephews to have escaped the paw patrol. But I’m personally a Bob’s Burgers fan, like, til the end of time probably. Get me a pink hat with bunny ears and I’ll never take it off. Well that’s disappointing, you couldn’t even keep te mystery up. Also I swear I did not mean all of those to sound like euphemisms but I’m not taking it back, I’m sticking by my answer. I feel like Chipotle and kissing shouldn’t go together… maybe Sushis?

How many is actually too many? I have a baby niece and two pre-teen nephews and that already is more than plenty for me, but gotta love them. Oh... Well, if that’s gonna help you in any way to understand who you are talking with, then I’m no hero -- I put my bra on one boob at the time, like everyone else. And please, we all don’t really mean the euphemisms when they suddenly decide to escape us, but it takes guts to own up to it, and for that I will tip my non-existant hat your way. Was... was that an invitation for a sushi bar? Because I will definitely treat it like an invitation to a sushi bar.

[dannyjingle-blog]

altxsarab:

You’re missing out, man! How do you live without the thrill of knowing if the Paw Patrol will ever be able to save Adventure bay or not!? Like, it’s a fucking nail-biter everytime! I don,t know, show me your hands, then we’ll know how big of a casanova you are. Now I need names, who was the cheapest?

Paw Patrol? That’s a cool name, right there. Brings me... memories of some sort, actually. I will forever be more of Rick And Morty kind of guy. Also, if anyone ever tells you that I took my pants off one time and sang Get Schwifty, don’t listen to them. They’ll probably leave out that I took off my underpants too! Oh, the hand trick. Aren’t you a clever one? But in reality, all the hands can tell is how big of a pair of gloves one is wearing, fortunately. Otherwise I’d have very big hands that wouldn’t really fit the proportions with the rest of my body. -- Hey now! I don’t kiss and tell, but I got a close friend of mine for a bag of Chipotle, so I guess that counts?

[dannyjingle-blog]

altxsarab:

I mean, there was an episode of Kim Possible where the bad guys ensalved people with his shampoo jingle… it’s doable. I mean, not that I watch that show on my downtime and could recap most plotlines, like, i’m a respectable adult, ya know. Hmmm, good question, I have to say I had never pondered my worth. I mean… that’s kind of a massive question. Is that something you ask all the girls?

See, my sister, Dana, tells me that I’m not cool enough to watch cartoons with her sons. She tells me that I enjoy them more than her boys, which is not true... I enjoy them equally as much... most of the time! Never saw Kim Possible, though, but it sounds like it’s a great one. And please, what kind of Cassanova do you take me for? (You better say a big one... at least to boost my self-esteem or something...) I only say that to a very few girls. You know, every girl who would actually listen to me... so yes, a few. 

[dannyjingle-blog]

altxsarab:

Or maybe you DO want that. First stop, creating the most mosntruous jingles in the world… then universe domination, obviously! And what’s wrong with that? Albert Einstein was very jewish and he’s, like, the fucking poster child for mad scientist hair!

And it’s a knockout, ladies and gentleman, she did it. Daniel Avidan is completely knocked out. See, now all I imagine is some cartoon villain type of evil scientist who instead of a catchphrase or some little evil monologue has some catchy little snippet of a tune, something absolutely inappropriate for whatever scene is going on! Okay, that’s it. When my Mom decides to visit for dinner someday, how much would you charge an hour to pretend being my wife? Einstein is my elderly hair goals!

[dannyjingle-blog]

mqrzia:

There is not really a reason behind it. I just love walking Maya at night, you know, having a relaxing walk.

See, but that only raises even more questions... How does one feel relaxed in the dark, especially when it’s a city that you can obviously get lost in? That doesn’t sound relaxing at all. In fact, it’s the absolute opposite of that -- getting lost in the dark alley-way in a town you don’t really know. That’s how horror movies are created.

[dannyjingle-blog]

altxsarab:

He wasn’t bad, he was just misunderstood and different, poor little buddy. Well, i mean, you kinda got the hair for the job, you’re almost there already, buddy. Should I buy you a chemistry set?

Of course he wasn’t, but he still did some things that I really don’t want my jingles to do to people. Who knows, you know? What if suddenly... zombies!.. or something? Oh goodness, did you just compared my magnificent Jew-fro to a crazy scientist’s hair? But actually, no, I can see a resemblance. 

[dannyjingle-blog]

karliesdiner:

I’m actually impressed with that answer you just gave me not gonna lie here. However, now my kitchen is covered in cupcakes and I don’t know what to do with them.

You know, I’m gonna have to possibly either upset you or impress you, but you’re not the first girl who said that to me, you know? I know what you’re thinking and yes, my Mom always reminds me how impressed of my answers she is. Well, if you actually don’t know what to do with cupcakes you baked... I know a guy that could take care of that for you.

[dannyjingle-blog]

altxsarab:

I’m not gonna lie, when I heard “creation”, my mind immediately went to Frankenstein’s monster and I couldn’t focus on anything else than the possibility of having a mad scientist in town.

Oh, nothing like that-- or at least I hope the tunes aren’t as bad as that green monster was... Well, you’re halfway to the truth, actually. Mad, but not a scientist. You’ve got a half-wit jingle writer... which is probably just as dangerous when you really think about it. 

[dannyjingle-blog]

markiplier: Was it?!! Why I dont remember that? @dannysexbang BUT SPACE IS SO COOOOOOL!

dannysexbang: the most important question here @markiplier is this - would there be wifi in space?

[dannyjingle-blog]

markiplier: OMG! @dannysexbang Don't give them ideas now. If that happens, I'm moving to SPACE!!!

dannysexbang: but, wait, @markiplier weren't there jokes around about Trump building the first space casino?? SPACE ISN'T SAFE.

[dannyjingle-blog]

markiplier: Can you imagine all the vines about fidget spinners?!! #RIPVine #ThankGodItsGoneNow

dannysexbang: @markiplier dude, what if they follow the emoji movie steps and make a MOVIE about FIDGET SPINNERS?? we are absolutely doomed.

[dannyjingle-blog]

So... I just heard my new creation on telly this morning... I still have no idea why they picked probably the most atrocious sounding group of children to perform it instead of some sexy blonde bombshell, like I originally had in my head when I wrote it... but I was a very proud boy nonetheless. Now I’ll have to cross Red Lobster out of the places that are completely ruined for me... by me. 

[ferrisbueller]

[dannyjingle-blog]

karliesdiner:

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night with a major craving for cupcakes so what you do is baking all night but you end up eating one..or maybe five? Yeah…This happens to me more often than it should.

Here’s a life lesson for you, darlin’ -- you can never make, bake or eat too many cupcakes. That’s, like, true wisdom. I’m pretty sure Gandhi or Dalai Lama said something like that a long time ago. No, scratch that -- it was Moses. Yes, it definitely was Moses, I read that in the bible, now I remember.

[dannyjingle-blog]

mqrzia:

Walking Maya in the dark always seems like a great idea…Until somehow I end up lost in the middle of the city. I’ve lived here for months, how does this always happen?

Is there any particular reason for you to walk your dog in the dark? Have I been walking my dogs wrong this whole time?

[regretroids]