Some Quotations about Toxic Relationships and Behaviours
(Mostly from anonymous or unknown sources.)
“Stonewalling, the silent treatment, emotional invalidation, control issues, a lack of empathy, and double standards are just a few of the signs that you’re dealing with a toxic, narcissistic person.”
“Psychopaths have double standards and they don’t like it when people stand up to them…
…They feel perfectly entitled to push boundaries, abuse, and lie. But god forbid anyone calls them out on this behaviour. In order to divert the blame, they’ll immediately twist it around on you. Suddenly you’re defending yourself, and the focus is shifted away from them. Their hypocrisy will be so unbelievable that you won’t even know where to begin. They’ll accuse you of doing things that they’re actually doing. Psychopaths are bullies, and bullies don’t fight fair.”
…can’t take the perspectives of others; will get rid of people who no longer serve them or no longer encourage their behaviour; will become rude, insulting, or cruel with little or no provocation; will act as though they are entitled to treatment that’s far better than their treatment of others; and will shift the blame and project their wrongdoings onto others when called out.”
“A narcissist’s weapons of choice are often verbal—
…slander, lies, playing the victim in flipped tales of who was the victim and who was the abuser, gossip, rage, insults, mockery, minimisations, invalidations, gaslighting, and the intentional infliction of emotional pain. In their desperate struggle to boost and protect their hypersensitive egos, narcissists tend to damage others’ relationships, reputations, and emotional wellbeing. This is why narcissists are often called emotional vampires.”
“The person in question doesn’t seem to care about the impact of their words or actions on some other person—often, but not necessarily, an erstwhile friend or lover. When the person in question is informed that they have caused someone to feel hurt, angry, or sad, they only seem to be able to react with anger, some form of attack, insults, lies, blame-shifting, silence, or rejection. The person in question seems to be interested in others’ feelings or points of view only when it is serving their current purposes.”
“Communicating with a narcissist…
…is like running on a hamster wheel. You can wear yourself out to the point of exhaustion, yet you never left point A.”
“5 signs of an emotionally abusive relationship:
You walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting the other person.
Your feelings and opinions are rarely validated, and validated only when they echo the feelings or opinions of the other person, or it immediately serves the other person to do so.
The other person is mistrustful of you for no good reason.
You feel as though you’re unable to raise or discuss any problems.
You feel stuck or confused most of the time, with respect to the relationship.”
“Narcissists tend to provoke negative emotions in others, sometimes merely in order to get a reaction. This is frequently accomplished by saying something rude or insensitive, doing something cruel, using mockery or sarcastic taunts, using triangulation, unjustifiably ignoring the other person, or invalidating or dismissing the other person. Narcissists then shame the provoked emotions by saying that you are crazy, saying that you over-react, calling you a drama queen, or trying to convince you that your emotions are somehow wrong. This can cause you to doubt yourself, and can affect your self-esteem and sense of self-worth. Don’t allow a narcissist to control you or shame you for your emotions. This is a form of emotional manipulation and abuse.”
“When a narcissist is facing an uncomfortable truth, he will often avoid responsibility by angrily changing the subject or accusing you of what he has in fact done. Flying into a rage is a common form of deflection, but there are also more subtle ways in which narcissists deflect, or move the focus away from their own behaviour.”
“Unless you are a survivor of emotional abuse…
…you have no idea what it means to fight daily battles in your head with a person you no longer have any contact with. Verbal, emotional, and physical abuse has residual effects on the survivor. You don’t just ‘get over it’.”
“What a sociopath looks like:
charming; lacking in empathy; uncontrollably angry when perceiving a challenge or criticism; prone to lying and cheating; prone to inappropriate antagonism and competitiveness (sometimes also prone to inappropriate flattery, fawning, or sexual advances); prone to making unjustified accusations; prone to twisting your own words against you; prone to gaslighting (denying things of which you have first-hand knowledge, or rewriting shared history for a self-serving purpose).”
a form of psychological abuse, in which situations or events are reframed in order to deflect, manipulate and control, shift the blame, or confuse. Gaslighting can cause victims to become disoriented, to become mired in self-doubt and self-questioning, and even to question their own sanity.”
“People don’t understand how disordered narcissists are; how badly the narcissist messes with your head. Victims of narcissistic abuse can’t just ‘get over it’. The discard that usually comes at the end of a narcissistically abusive relationship is far more deeply problematic, distressing, and complicated than the normal ending of a normal relationship. It was a hit and run. Narcissists damage you in deep and unexpected ways, then flee the scene of the crime and blame you for the damage.”
“Some people are truly great manipulators…
…They can lie, cheat, treat you badly, and somehow manage to make it all seem as though it’s your fault. But it isn’t personal, even though it looks that way. It’s just what they do.”
“The narcissistic attitude is a hypocritical one…
…Narcissists pretend to have morals and values that they do not really possess. Behind closed doors, they lie, disrespect, and abuse. They feel that they can do and say whatever they want—but how dare you so much as criticise their bad behaviour. They have a whole set of rules for others, but follow none of their own rules and practice nothing of what they preach.”
“Emotionally abusing people and then punishing them for being distressed is like stabbing people and then punishing them for bleeding.”
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