Le Danseur Tente

Seeing how far dedication can take me

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Still Alive?

That's actually a song from the end of Portal the game. And it also applies to me right now. I *am* still alive and dancing. Switched studios, but I'm doing great. (Hello to my friend Ax)

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Crushes?

Are you even allowed to have them at 18? And if so, is it even legal to have multiple at the same time? It just doesn't feel right. It's like being pulled multiple directions at one time.

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Focus!!!

Oh dear, watch out. Two posts in two days. That may be a record for continuity on this blog.

Two posts in two days. Yeah.

Anywho, on to the subject: focus. I think we all have those times where someone is talking to us, and we realize half way through them speaking that we were in our own little world and didn't hear a word they said. I suspect most people don’t have this happen in ballet class. Apparently I struggle with it (can we say ADHD much).

The teacher will be half way through explaining a combination when I'll realize I wasn’t even listening and I have no clue what to do with my arms.

Even odder, I think I have the student dancer syndrome. What’s that? Never heard of it? Good, because I just made the name up.

For whatever reason my brain thinks it’s a good idea that if someone dancing in front of me, I’ll try to copy them instead of doing the dance from memory. And can we guess what happens when they inevitably mess up? Yep, I make the same mistake. And here’s the funny thing: I just realized that I do this tonight. *tonight*. Yeah.

It’s amazing when you see me at the end of a barre. Either I am focused, and I’ll actually do better when I can’t see a dancer in front of me, or I’m really out of it and have to drag myself through the combination on the second side.

So, yeah. If my brain doesn’t start shaping up, I’ll come to class saying I got a retina transplant wearing dueling eye patches. Maybe then I’ll start focusing on myself.

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I wish I were someone else

Yes, I know I haven't posted online in a while. Yes, I'm still at it. No, I don't know if anyone still checks this blog. There's that funny quote, "Be yourself, because everyone else is taken", but tonight, out of all nights, I wish I were someone else. It's just the struggle. To be the best. Continually. But then you see someone with the exact talent... the exact body you wish you could have. The very things you strive for every day, they already have. I at least wish this would be easier. Why does the world hate me so?

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Blimey...

Classes have started again, and I am feel the fact that I haven't exercised for the past few weeks (hey, I was sick twice for 2 and a half weeks; don't judge). I'm doing ok, except for the fact that when the head of the school popped his head in, I was on the wrong foot. At least they saw me do it almost perfectly.

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Holidays and food

Just a short reminder to myself that I can't eat everything during these next few days/weeks. Otherwise it will undo everything I've been working towards.

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Woah, woah! Unbirthday time!

(for context, see my last post)

Somehow I missed my unbirthday! It was the 7th! I’m officially 18. Wow.

When you’re younger (read: 4th grade) you think, “Wow, 18. You must be, like, so different!”. But you’re not. It’s just the same old you in a bigger body. Oh, well, of course hopefully you’ve gotten smarter. Even if just a bit.

But no, nothing really feels different. It’s just the world having different expectations of you.

For example: dance. I should be a magical dancer by this age, but I still struggle with my splits.

Sometimes I think of giving up. It’s more of a recent thing. When I first started, I told myself that I would never even think about giving up, but I don’t think you really ever know anything about what you’re doing until you think of giving up,

It feels hopeless sometimes, but I hang on. Because in the end, the only thing that will always be there is hope.

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source: Get to Know NYC Ballet

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Update that is overdue

So finally I’m going to write that update. Things are going fairly well. This school year I was moved up to Level 5. In contrast, in May I was in Level 1. At my studio I think it goes up until Level 12 (it’s kind of hard to tell, as they get joined and have weird names. sort of like if you've ever tried martial arts: once you think you have belt colours memorized, they start adding randomly coloured tapes to them).

You may be thinking, “Oh, so that mean you’re a fantastic dancer now!”. Sadly, no. I still have a long while to go before I even consider myself worth watching. I’ve made tonnes of progress, but not enough yet.

Here’s my list of dance todos to make me magical:

Lose weight. About 9kg, that’ll make my body fat percentage at near lowest it can go. that makes everything easier, from jumps and turns to tendus

Get flexible. You're probably thinking, "tente, you have your splits by now, right?!?". Nope. Sadly not. I've been working on them for more than a year, trying dozens of techniques, and I still don't have them. The good news is that I'm only a few inches away on both. Splits in seconde need a little more work.

Get stronger. Both for partnering and general. I'm tall, so I have to jump the highest

Turns. I'm now trying to practice them everyday at home. I really need solid doubles from all positions. And, as they say, a double on the ground is a double in the air (tours).

And that's about it for the update. Nutcracker is coming up. I don't really have any mentionable rolls this year. Hopefully that will change next year.

-tente

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My old posts

Haha, I love reading them. I ought to post something more meaningful. Nutcracker is just around the corner.

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Omg. You are alive!!

Woah woah! Yeah, if just a bit. :)

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Wow, okay, hi. I just found your blog, and I love it. You're really awesome. Like super duper amazing. I'm currently facing a similar problem to yours, finding a love for dance a tad too late to really make something out of it, but I'm going to try my hardest anyways. I just want to know how you have found such determination! Anyways, I wish you well on your dance journey <3 good luck!

Thanks so much! I'm continually amazed how many people are wanting to be dancers even when starting late. Best of luck!

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Ever wonder how you're doing in ballet class? Wonder no longer, here's the correction scale.

Have you ever wondered how good you’re doing in a ballet class? Well wonder no longer, because I’ve made a correction scale. I’ve found it to be tried and true through the many classes I’ve now taken.

Correction Level #1: Only the bad things

This probably means you could be doing better. The only things really standing out to your teacher are your mistakes. Make sure you’re putting in your best effort. If you are, keep at it. You will get better.

Correction Level #2: Mainly compliments and only some corrections

This is really the best place to be. This means your best is shining through the other students to the teacher. The teacher is most likely giving you corrections for the same reason. Keep giving it your best, knowing that you look good. You have a chance to add on top of something that’s already worth calling dance.

Correction Level #3: No corrections

This is a scary place to be. I put it last because you might be almost anywhere on the scale. #3 Scale: worst The worst first? If you think, wait, know that you’re doing badly, and you don’t get corrections… You probably are. It sounds harsh, but it’s true. Especially in something like across the floor where you know that the teacher saw you. I feel like when this happens it’s almost like the teacher doesn’t even bother. They’re most likely thinking, “That looked bad, and they need to get the concept down before I even attempt to correct them”. Scared? You should and shouldn’t be. The first step to fixing a problem is knowing that one exists. Give it your best, you’ll improve. After all, that’s all you can give. #3 Scale: better “Wait!”, you say, “I don’t think I did that bad, but I still didn’t get any corrections”. Ah, you’re in the middle ground. This is still good, but not as good as Correction Level #2. Your worst isn’t standing out, but neither is your best really shinning. You’re doing good though, and you’re with your class. You should always give your all, but you’re right where you should be. Not the best, but by no means the worst. #3 Scale: “best” And lastly in the “no corrections”: no corrections doesn’t have to have a bad side. This only applies to a very small percentage of dancers, but still happens. This is the best *theoretical* case (Correction Level #2 is still the best in my opinion). You’re not getting any corrections at all because the teacher doesn’t see anything bad. Or if they do, they know you’re good enough to know it. I would say this almost doesn’t happen at all, and if it does, you wouldn’t need to read this to know you’re in that group. You’re already giving your best, just keep going. Afterthought #3 Scale: …bestest? On the other hand, if you only get compliments consistently: well done. If you trust the person giving them, you’re on your way to becoming a prima.

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I hate rehearsals...

because I have to choose between friends, family and life or my commitment to ballet. I have to pick which one is more important to me, and that gets rough. Especially when they tell you 24 hours in advance.

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How I sometimes feel about my dancing

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"The depressing thought comes when you realize, all the crushes you have - all the crushes you've ever had, they'll go on in life. They'll fall in love, share their first kiss, get married and have kids, all without you. All without ever thinking of you."

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Finally, advice?

Yep. I disappear and reappear once every two weeks or so. I almost have my side splits. I know I've been saying that since I started this blog, but now that I can see how long it takes, I'll have them by June. Almost a full year.

Now that I've been doing ballet for almost a year as well, I can try to give some tips

So the first one:

Lifting up. Now, you're thinking, "really tente? I always hear that", but from what I've experienced so far, it's one of the most important things. Sometimes you'll hear a teacher say, "stand tall", "pull up", "lengthen" or "imagine someone is pulling you by your hair upwards". The last one is actually the most useful one for me. Without lifting up, you can't do almost any ballet step properly. That includes everything from relevees to pirouettes.

I used to think that I was lengthening all the way, but it's the same for everything in ballet: If you don't feel it, it's not there. You have to purposely engage the muscles (for me it's the quads in my legs), otherwise you're probably not "lengthened". It's hard to think of, but it's not the front of the knee that needs to be straight, but the *back* of the knee.

So next time your at the barre, at center or just practicing at home, "lengthen". You'll feel the difference. It'll make things harder at first, but only easier from there.

-tente