DAN HEALY

Being a good actor isn't easy. Being a man is even harder. I want to be both before I'm done. —James Dean

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

Kissing Dan back, Luca smiles, a quiet laugh leaving his lips as he mentions proposing. “I said practically. Good to know the plan to Scavo-Healy us is still on though.” He teases, smile still on his lips at the thought. “Because I totally plan on marrying the hell out of you one day, Healy.” Luca remembers all of the conversations they had had about getting engaged and getting married, even long before gay marriage was legal in every state. They had talked about a little bit since getting back together, mostly in jest, but deep down he knew that Dan was the person he would marry someday, no matter how far in the future that day was.

Feeling a shiver go down his spine at Dan’s words, Luca pulls his body closer, eyes glinting mischievously. “Uh huh…I know you know what I’m talking about.” The brunette murmurs, his teeth grazing along his boyfriend’s jaw lightly. “Mm, yeah…I’m sure.” Reaching behind him, Luca locks the door, a smirk going across his lips. “There. Do I need to invest in a do not disturb sign too? Because I totally will.” He’d do anything Dan asked of him, even stupid cheesy things. He loved stupid cheesy thins. He loved Dan. “I’ll all yours the rest of the night, babe. Tonight and all other days and nights.” 

Scavo-Healy. They’d bring it up in casual conversation once before as they fathomed their future together, their lives joint forever. Before Luca got sick. Before Dan left. Before they had went on years without seeing each other... Scavo-Healy. “Are you sure about that?” The blonde smirked, fingertips tracing his boyfriend’s cheekbones, brushing softly against his lips. “Marrying me until death do us part...” The vows lines still left a sour taste in his tongue, tugging at the memory of how he had been incapable of sticking through those, in sickness and in health. He couldn’t bare it. “Using my name?” 

Dan’s lips, close to Luca’s without fully touching as he breathed him in, curved into a soft smile, mischief bright in his eyes when he nodded in agreement to Luca investing in a Do Not Disturb sign. “That’s a good idea.” His voice was but a whisper, shivering almost, before capturing his boyfriend’s lips with his own again. He was too weak. He tried to play hard to get but it didn’t work. Not with Luca. It never had. There was no point in pretending. He wanted Luca. All of him. Always. “Good.” Dan brings Luca in for another kiss, lingering longer this time before he speaks again without completely detaching himself from the other man. “Because I really, really like you. And your eyes. And your lips. And your smile. And your arms. And your tattoos.” His hands traveled down Luca’s torso as he spoke. “And your ass.” He was smirking by now. “And your cock.” His hand cupping his boyfriend through the jeans. “I’m not going to be sharing tonight or any other day and night. You’re mine, Scavo.”

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

“Alright.” Luca repeats quietly, his fingers going through Dan’s hair again as he settles in his lap, nodding at the question. “Of course.” He murmurs without hesitation, knowing his aunt and uncle would say yes. “I’m not going anywhere, Dan.”

He doesn’t know how long they’ve been sitting like that, quiet and just being there for each other, not needing words to say how they’re feeling. They’re both mentally exhausted, but Luca’s more focused on Dan, his fingers tangled in the blonde’s hair, focusing on the sounds of his boyfriend’s breathing. 

His phone buzzes on the bed beside him, and at first he ignores it, but then another message comes, and another. “Sorry. I’ll turn it off.” Luca murmurs, reaching for his phone. But before he does, he catches a glimpse of the message, chewing on his lower lip. 

Dan’s here. He’s safe. He texts back, looking away from the rest of the messages. They weren’t meant for him, and he didn’t want to read them. “Dan, babe…it’s your grandmother. Here.” Passing his cell over, he glances down, letting their eyes meet. “I didn’t read past the first message, I promise. But I think you should, whatever it is.”

Dan barely reacts to the sound of the phone or Luca’s movement, he really doesn’t mind it or the fact that the brunette is answering. He’s just lost in trance, his breathing evened and soft, his lids heavy. Everything hurts but he feels safe with Luca. Everything is falling apart in his head but he has hope.

Somewhat hesitant to picking up the phone, wincing when he heard it was his grandmother, it was Luca’s eyes that earned him the courage to sit up straight and read through the text. For a whole minute he remained unmoving, barely even blinking, staring idly at the screen until all text blurred in front of him while internalizing the message, swallowing as he read, and then he cried. Dan needed some time before facing his grandmother, before facing his grandfather, mostly because he didn’t want them to see him in his current state, but he held onto the phone so tightly, knuckles turning pale. 

“I’m sorry.” The blonde sniffed after a moment, drying his tears and returning the phone, not quite able to meet Luca’s eyes until he had at least made sure he had wiped most tears away. “I’m sorry.” He repeated quietly, mostly out of instinct. “Can I still stay here tonight? I— I can’t— not yet...”

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

“I know, but..” Luca starts to protest, eyebrows knitting together for a moment until he feels Dan’s hands on his face, instantly relaxing at his boyfriend’s touch. He knew things hadn’t ended well between them, and that had included his aunt and uncle too. They had been there to pick up the pieces when Dan had left him, and he knew that it probably left a sour taste in their mouths. But the fact that they trusted his choice and had been accepting and supportive of the two of them getting back together eased his mind. Even though they had only shared a few glasses of wine together, all went well, and he could only hope that it’d remain that way going forward.

“True.” Smirking, he kisses Dan back, arms snaking around the blonde’s waist, pulling his body close. “They’ve always loved you, babe. You’re practically a son in law to them.” The brunette teases, his lips moving to his boyfriend’s jaw, his lips lingering there. It was true (or at least it had been), and he was sure that they’d feel that way again with time, if they weren’t already. 

At the mention of the piano, Luca smirks, a quiet laugh leaving his lips. “Oh yeah? What about you with the neck grabbing, hm? You make it hard for me to behave, Healy.” The musician replies, his voice low. “We’re alone now though, so…”

Dan shook his head as Luca tried to apologize for his aunt and uncle interrupting their evening, smiling uncontrollably because he was just so obnoxiously in love with the man that he found every single move or twitch on his face irresistible. So much that he can’t help but quiet him with a kiss, much to his own benefit than Luca’s. 

“Son in law?” The blonde wiggled his brows teasingly, letting himself be pulled by his boyfriend, letting the tip of his fingers get lost in his dark locks. “You forgot to get down on one knee and get me a ring, Scavo.” Dan poked, biting his lip as he felt the other’s lips on his jaw, tilting his head just enough to grant him better access while a soft, quiet moan escaped him, quickly followed by a breathy chuckle. “What neck grabbing? I was doing no such thing...” His voice, though slightly breathless, still kept that teasing tone to it. “Are we? Are you sure they didn’t leave anything behind? We’re not getting any more visitors tonight?” His lips came close to Luca’s ear before finishing his sentence. “Because once I start, I’m not going to stop so easily.”

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

Luca runs his thumb across Dan’s cheek slowly, pulling the blonde closer, if that’s even possible. Dan’s practically on his his lap now, curled up in his arms, but Luca wouldn’t have it any other way. 

I love you. 

The brunette’s heart nearly bursts at the words, a smile going across his face despite the not so happy situation. “I love you too.” The words leave his lips quickly, but they aren’t forced. Everything Dan had said rang true with him as well, almost as if the male had read his mind. “I’m not scared, Dan. And you’re not…you’re not going to lose me, okay? I love you.” Luca says the three words again, pressing a quick kiss to his boyfriend’s lips. “You make perfect sense. How could I not love you, Dan? You’re smart, and passionate, and beautiful, and kind, and so many other amazing things. Meeting you, being with you…it’s like, one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. And yeah, we’re young, but…I don’t care. I want to be with you for a long time. Forever, even. No matter what happens…that’s what I wan for us.”

Even if hearing Luca repeating his own confession would’ve had happy-go-lucky Dan beaming any other day, the blonde just stares back into the eyes of the boy that’s holding him up right now, not just literally but figuratively too. He looks into Luca’s eyes as if in them he can find the answers to everything, so serene, as if they kept all the calm he needed. His heart was fluttering. Everything made perfect sense. So he gave into the kiss as if it was the air he needed to breathe, and he held onto Luca with eyes closed. I want to be with you for a long time. Forever, even. No matter what happens... 

“Alright.” The blonde responds after a couple of seconds, as if Luca had asked him a question, agreeing to everything he just said. He was scared of plans for the long run, scared that things never really went as he hoped for in his life. But then again, Luca’s life hadn’t been easy either and if he was able to agree to this, if he was able to be positive, so would Dan. A sigh escaped him, relieved, tired, his eyes stinging, his head throbbing. “Can I stay here tonight?” Resting his head on Luca’s lap, his eyes closed. “I just want to be with you.”

It was late when Dan’s grandmother finally picked up her grandson’s phone, taking a wild guess of things and looking for Luca’s number. Her husband had been driving in circles for over an hour now trying to find Dan, worried about the boy’s whereabouts even if he still hadn’t been able to wrap his head around the confession. They had already lost their son and Dan’s mother. They couldn’t lose him too. 

Text: Luca, this is Dan’s grandmother. If he’s with you, please let us know if he’s okay.  Text: If he’s with you, know that I’m thankful that you’re looking after my grandson and please let him know we’ll be waiting for him when he’s ready to come home. Text: Dan, this is grams.  Text: Nothing you could ever do or say will make me or your grandfather stop loving you. From the moment you came into the world, we’ve loved you, and we’ll love you until our days in this Earth come to an end. I’m sorry if we scared you away. I’m sorry if we made you think otherwise. But know we love you always, my boy. 

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

If he could, Luca would take all of the hurt, all of the pain Dan was feeling away in an instant. He would absorb it himself if it meant making him feel even a tiny bit better. It broke his heart to see how hurt the man he had come to care so much about was, teeth digging into his lower lip as he tries to think of the right thing to say. Was there even a right thing to say in this situation? Probably not.

Setting both their mugs aside, Luca pulls Dan into his arms again, cradling the blonde against his chest as he listens to him speak. He knows how Dan feels even though he had been a little older when his family died. But he knows what it’s like to wonder, what it feels like to never know.

“It will be okay.” The brunette murmurs as his fingers go through Dan’s hair slowly, gently, hoping to comfort him. “You’re not, Dan. You’re not betraying anyone. You’re being true to yourself, honest…that’s the best thing you can do. They’ll come around.” Luca says quietly, hoping his words were true. “It’s not a bad thing. It’s a beautiful thing. Things are changing, and maybe one day they’ll be even better. People will be more accepting.”

Letting out a sigh, he pulls back slightly, cupping Dan’s cheek in his hand. “You’re not alone, Dan. You have me, and my aunt and uncle…and I know it’s not the same, that it’ll never be the same, but…know you’re not alone, okay?” 

It will be okay. He wanted to believe it. He wanted to trust the words. And maybe he wouldn’t have felt any comfort from them had they come from anyone else but hearing Luca saying it, being in his arms, his hand soothing the pain, Dan let himself nod and agree, and curl against the other boy. His sobs had began to cease, his breathing somewhat returning to normal. But when Luca cupped his face and reassured him that he wasn’t alone, tears escaped his eyes and he pressed his forehead to the brunette’s as his arms wrapped behind his neck.

“I love you.” The words were whispered, so soft Luca would’ve missed them had he been an inch further than he was, had their faces not been so close to the other’s. Bright eyes, puffy from the tears, gleaming, looked up to Luca’s. “It’s okay if you don’t love me but I love you, Luca. I- I never felt it before but it’s different than anything else, so it must be it. It must be love. Because I’m scared, terrified of saying it. And I’m scared, terrified of what my grandparents might think of me now, or what will happen next... but I’m even more scared of losing you without ever having you at all. Does it make sense? I- don’t know how to explain it. I- I don’t want to scare you. I just don’t know what’s happening to me.”

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

Dan doesn’t have to say anything for Luca to guess what happened, but he does, and the brunette can feel his heart breaking. “Oh, babe…” Saying he was sorry didn’t seem to cut it, so he stays quiet, keeping the blonde in his arms. “You can stay here as long as you need.” He murmurs, knowing that his aunt and uncle would understand. “Come in.”

Pulling back from their embrace, the brunette slips his arm around Dan’s waist instead, gently guiding him inside and down the hall to his room, giving Karen and David a quick look as they walk past the couch. “I’m gonna get you some coffee, okay? I’ll be right back.” Pressing a kiss to the top of the male’s head, he offers him a small smile before disappearing again, talking quickly and quietly to his family before he packs p his stuff from the kitchen table, returning two mugs. 

“Here.” Handing Dan a mug, Luca sits down beside the smaller man, free hand resting on the actor’s knee. “Do you want to talk about it? Or we can put on a movie, or just sit here…whatever you need, Dan. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.”

There’s a certain numbness overtaking him, a hurt so strong he can’t really feel it anymore or know where to locate it. It was harsh to face himself and the people he loved with the truth when it wasn’t conventional, when it wasn’t what was expected of you. 

Still he lets himself be guided inside, his head down, somewhat embarrassed as they walk past Luca’s aunt and uncle and he gives them a failed attempt of a smile in greeting. If it wasn’t for Luca’s arm around him, Dan was sure his legs would’ve given up halfway to the brunette’s room. Knees pressed to his chest as he sits, his forehead against his crossed arms resting on them. He was scared. He hadn’t felt so scared in his life for except... 

Dan had been lost in thought reliving the memory after his mother’s death; how she never came back home from the hospital, how his father had stripped their house clear of any and every keepsake... how he had been dressed in a suit a size too big for him for the funeral, taken a trip to a park, promised everything would be okay and then left at his grandparents’ doorsteps. 

He takes the mug that’s being offered to him once Luca’s voice brings him back to the present, letting the heat warm his hands, swallowing. He can’t even fully say thank you without his throat burning, but his lips move to form the words quietly, shaking his head in response to Luca’s question. “You know, I can’t remember her. My mom. Not really. But sometimes I like to think she would’ve known without me having to say it, that it would’ve been okay.” It’s what he relied on, though unconsciously, since he started finding more interest in boys than he did in girls, that maybe, just maybe, his mother would’ve understood. A sob escaped him, no tears in his eyes, his upper body trembling softly as if he were cold. “It shouldn’t be like this. It shouldn’t feel like you’re betraying your family for liking who you like. You can’t help who you fall in love with. How is love a bad thing suddenly just because you fall for someone of your same sex?” The hurt and the anger seeped through his sobs. “Someday, Luca, someday things will change, you know? It has to. But what if it’s too late? I don’t have anyone else.”

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

It’s a quiet night at the Dragovic/Scavo household, dinner already had and cleaned up. Karen and David are sitting on the couch watching something on TV while Luca’s sitting at the kitchen table, homework spread out in front of him. He’s drinking coffee from a mug that has the Space Needle on it, a souvenir from a family trip long ago, absentmindedly doodling on the corner of the packet of questions he was supposed to be answering for English, study questions about The Catcher in the Rye. Luca was enjoying the novel, but he never was good at focusing on something for an extended period of time unless it was music…or Dan. Dan always had his attention. The blonde was always on his mind, and Luca could feel himself falling more and more for the actor with each passing day.

Checking the time on his phone, he can’t help but wonder if Dan’s done with dinner yet, not wanting to bother him while he’s eating with his grandparents. He had promised to tell them about everything, and while Luca didn’t want to be pushy, he was also equal parts nervous and curious about it. He wanted to know when it happened, how it went, and the waiting was eating him up inside. Even his aunt and uncle had noticed that he had been on edge, though Luca insisted that he was fine. It wasn’t his story to tell. 

Call me when you’re done eating? Nothing urgent, just wanna hear your voice. He finally texts, adjusting his earbuds in his ears as he looks back at the questions in front of him, chewing on his lower lip as he gets back to work. 

Standing once he’s finished, Luca’s about to go refill his mug when he hears a knock at the door, glancing over at his aunt and uncle. “You guys expecting anyone?” He asks, though they both shake their head no. Maybe it was one of their neighbors with a question then. “I’ll get it.”

Setting his mug down on the counter, the brunette runs his fingers through his hair as he walks towards the door, though he never expects to see Dan standing on the other side. He looks upset…no, he looks devastated, and Luca immediately pulls the blonde into his arms, holding him tightly. “What happened?”

Dan looks like he had ran a marathon; flushed face, damp hair and breathless. There’s a sigh of relief when the door gives way and its Luca rather than Karen or David. It was only after knocking that he became self conscious of how he must’ve looked or seemed, but he truly, honestly didn’t know where else to go. Or rather, there was no one else he would’ve gone to at that moment.

His fist wrinkled Luca’s shirt on his back, unable to find his own voice to answer the brunette’s question. Dan just held onto Luca. He held onto him while his heart threatened to escape the rib cage around it, while it felt like it was about to burst and shatter. 

“I told them.” The blonde said after a few minutes, breathless, almost as if he was gasping for air as he spoke. “Pops...” The look on his grandfather’s face. The gritted teeth. The squared jaw. The disappointment. His grandmother. The tears. How her hands came to cover her mouth. The hurt. Dan ran. Just like he did when things got rough, when he couldn’t handle it anymore, when he couldn’t face the hardships, he ran out the door rather than stay there and have them stare at him a second longer. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

Luca stays quiet during the exchange between Dan and his grandmother, exhaling slowly once she leaves the room. He likes Dan’s grandparents, but he can’t help but worry now, at least a little bit. Turning to face Dan again, Luca licks his lips, a small smile tugging on the corners at Dan’s revelation. “No rush. And if you want me there…I’m only a text away.I’m always only a text away.” The brunette murmurs, pecking Dan quickly on the lips before he loses his nerve again, rubbing the back of his neck after. 

They still haven’t labeled things, but that can wait. Luca doesn’t have eyes for anyone else but Dan, and he doesn’t see that changing. He’d wait as long as the other needed. He wanted Dan, wanted to be with him in a way he hadn’t felt about anyone else before. And maybe it was hormones or puppy love, but maybe it was something more than that, and Luca wasn’t going to give up on something potentially magical just because they were both scared. 

“We should probably go downstairs before the pizza gets cold.” Luca finally murmurs, linking his pinky through Dan’s as they walk out of his room, only letting his hand fall away once they reach the top of the stairs, trailing down behind the blonde. “Thank you again for the pizza.” He says to Dan’s grandparents once they both come into view offering them a smile. “And for letting me come over.” 

It had been a few days since Luca had been at Dan’s place, since he came to the conclusion that he had to tell the truth to his grandparents. He was hurting from keeping the lie for so long—not that he was lying but keeping the truth from them was just as bad. Worse, it was hurting Luca too. Dan tried to find the right time to say it but days went by and he just decided to do it the next day. The next day would be better. The next day came and went. And so did the next of that. And the next. 

They were finishing dinner when Luca’s name popped up in conversation. Such a nice boy, his grandmother commented. His grandfather shrugged, nodding in agreement but frowning. He’s a bit odd, isn’t he? Dan couldn’t eat the rest of his meal, he didn’t know what to say or how to take his grandfather’s opinion of Luca. He knew he didn’t mean wrong but he still felt offended. It was his grandmother who noticed him not eating after a couple of minutes, asking what had happened. You look pale, Dan. Are you alright.

“No.” And from then on he couldn’t hold it back anymore. “He’s not odd, pops. He’s brilliant.” It took his grandfather a second to realize who he was talking about again, as if he had already moved on from the comment he had uttered minutes ago. All his words were rushed, and yet the more he said the better he felt like he could breathe. His grandmother stared at him with tears in her eyes, his grandfather’s squared jaw and silence killed him. 

Shaking, nervous sweat darkening his blonde locks, he kept walking with nothing but an old jacket he picked on his way out of the house, cursing to himself, sniffing and drying the tears that escaped him. He ran after the bus that was just about to leave the stop, jumping on it to take him to Luca’s place. He didn’t know where else to go. He didn’t know what else to do. He was scared. The silence hurt more than the words they weren’t saying. The look in their eyes. 

Dan knocked at Luca’s door not even sure if he was there. Not even sure if there was anyone there. He had left his phone behind as he stormed out of the house. 

[gentclothes]

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

Luca blinks as Dan raises his voice, feeling the blonde’s hands shaking in his. “Okay.” He murmurs gently, bringing Dan’s hands to his lips, kissing his knuckles lightly, “I believe you, Dan.” All of the male’s fears are valid, that much he knows. Luca was lucky to have such accepting family members, and he knew not all kids were as fortunate as he was. “They love you, Dan. I know they’re old, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they won’t accept you for who you are. You’ll never know unless you try…and I’m not trying to force you out of the closet or anything, but…I don’t want you to sneak around because of me. I don’t want us to have to constantly look over our shoulders.”

Sighing, he pulls Dan close, hugging the shorter male for a few moments before he lets go, chewing on his lower lip. “I want to be with you too. I want that more than anything. I know we haven’t known each other that long, but I feel like I’ve known you forever. And even though we see each other at school and talk all the time when we’re apart, it never feels like enough. I want forever with you too, Dan. And yeah, maybe it’s crazy and terrifying and even a little bit reckless, but…I don’t care. I just want you.”

He’s about to kiss Dan when he hears footsteps ascending, quickly pulling away from Dan, more for the blonde than for himself. Luca hates that he can’t keep their hands intertwined, hates that he can’t keep comforting him, but he knows it’s for the best. Dan needs to come out on his own terms, and Luca respects that. 

Dan nods at Luca’s every word, he nods and he looks into the brunette’s eyes and he tries to make sense of everything happening around him and within him. Puberty, it sucks. It sucks trying to come to terms with oneself, trying to figure out who you are, trying to feel accepted. It sucks that life wasn’t as simple anymore, that he had to face it, himself, and make decisions. Real ones. Important ones. Because he didn’t want to lose Luca, no matter how young they were, he didn’t want to let him go just because he couldn’t find the strength to be honest about himself to his own grandparents.

Luca heard the steps before he did but Dan understood what was happening the moment the other put some space between them. He had found comfort in his embrace, in his words, a burning feeling in his chest just when he thought their lips would meet. 

“Boys.” Eva knocked lightly on the half opened door, a light frown as she looked between Luca and Dan, mostly concerned rather than suspicious. “Pizza is here. Is everything okay?” 

Dan nodded, instantly shifting his features into a light, happy version of himself. He was a good actor. He had been acting at home for a while now too. “Yeah. Everything’s okay. We were just discussing something but, I’ll tell you about it later.” Though his grandmother seemed to be pleased with this, she wasn’t fully convinced. “We’ll be downstairs.” She smiled before turning to leave. Dan remained quiet for half a minute, just staring at the now empty spot where his grandmother had stood in. “I’ll tell them. I’ll tell them this week so we can date without any lying around it.” He shrugged. “I’ll tell them so we can do it right.”

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

Luca regrets snapping at Dan as soon as he suggests leaving, knowing it was a stupid, low thing to say. He didn’t want to leave, not really. He just wanted Dan to want him to stay. 

It’s complicated. The brunette lets out a sigh at Dan’s words, his fingers going through his hair slowly. “Dan…” He murmurs, looking back at the blonde. “You know me of all people gets that.” Even though their situations were slightly different, they still had some overlap. He only had his aunt and uncle and Dan only had his grandparents, so he understood the blonde’s fears. “I like you too. A lot. You know that. And I want to be with you…but I don’t want you to be scared to be with me.” Luca says quietly, his heart simultaneously sinking and beating faster as the words leave his lips. 

Expression softening, Luca sets his book aside, carefully moving towards the blonde. “I know…I know you are. And I’m sorry I snapped.” He replies, his fingers brushing against Dan’s lightly for a moment, wanting to take his hand but unsure of if he should. “Maybe…we could talk to them together? If you wanted. It doesn’t have to be right now, but…when you’re ready. Because I want to be with you, Dan…I do.”

It was unfair for Dan to bring his grandparents being all he had in front of Luca. While Luca understood loss, a greater loss than any he himself had experience, it was different. It was different when you had been left behind by those who were supposed to care about you the most, when you had been displaced like a pet or an old toy. Dan carried that always, nagging at the back of his head, the shadow of his father always a ghost that wouldn’t let him have complete peace of mind. It wasn’t fair of him to take it out on Luca. It wasn’t fair of him to use it as an excuse with the brunette. 

“I’m not!” The blonde interjected quickly, his voice reaching its highest peak yet, shaking his head desperately. “I’m not scare to be with you. I’m not.” He repeated time and time again, holding Luca’s hand the moment the brunette brushed his fingers against him. They were still shaking, gone ice cold, but he held onto Luca as if he was a rock that would kept him afloat. “My- my grandmother, she’s very religious. Very devoted. My- my grandfather, well, he, he’s the strictest man. I just, they’re old, Luca. They’re old and they’ve taken care of me when it wasn’t their job. What if- what if it makes them sick, if it causes them pain, to know. If they’re disappointed. If they’re ashamed of me...” His forehead was now pressed against Luca’s hands on his, almost gasping for air as he spoke though no tear escaped his eyes. “And I’m afraid. I’m terrified. Because when we’re together, it just feels right. And when we’re apart, all I do is think of you. And I want to be with you. I want to be with you forever, Luca. How crazy is that? How scary?” His voice was shaking now too, trying to focus on the brunette, his head bringing him back to the alertness of his environment in case his grandmother was coming up the stairs again.

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

Luca blushes at the compliments, but especially at Dan’s words, practically beaming out of happiness and pride. He grins at Dan’s quiet words, the ones meant only for him, letting himself get wrapped up in his boyfriend’s touch for a few moments. If they were alone, he would have grabbed him and kissed him  by now, but that could wait, though Dan’s fingers pressing into his skin is distracting.

Quickly regaining his composure, Luca nods, giving his aunt and uncle a smile. “Yeah, definitely. Of course I’d want you two to come.” Other than Dan, they were his biggest supporters, and he couldn’t imagine not having all three of them there with him. It was sweet of Dan to bring it up on his own, and Luca was glad that everyone was getting along. They were all really trying for him, and the fact that they were made him happy. “I’ll ask and let you guys know.” Dan would have no problem getting into the screening with his connections, but the brunette didn’t want to assume anything. 

“We would love to come. Let us know.” Karen says with a nod, giving Dan a warm smile. “Thank you for playing, Luca.” 

David nods as well, attempting to stifle a yawn after a moment. “I hate to break this up, but unless you guys want me to fall asleep on Luca’s couch, we should probably head out. I’m getting old.” He jokes, laughing softly.

“Right, of course. We’ll call you about that dinner, promise.” Luca replies as he stands, hugging and kissing his aunt and uncle goodbye, letting them do the same to Dan before he walks them to the door, turning to look back at the blonde once they’re alone again. “I’m so sorry, babe…they don’t normally just show up like that.” 

Dan was sure he could pull some strings here and there to make it happen but he didn’t want to step over either so he didn’t say or oppose when Luca offered asking. It was his project, not Dan’s. He would need to learn how to deal with it, how to separate each other’s work now if they became tangled in the same business, not mixing work with pleasure. Regardless, Dan was genuinely looking forward to it, to see how everything turned out, to experience it all with Luca, together. 

He stands up as he exchanges goodbyes with Karen and David, now feeling more at ease as they approached him in embrace, agreeing with Luca as he promised dinner and staying back to give the family some privacy. He had already picked up the empty glasses and brought them to the sink when Luca returned, having left two stems as he emptied the last bit of wine from the bottle for them to drink. 

“Luca, it’s fine.” Dan tried to wash away his boyfriend’s worries with his words. “You don’t have anything to apologize for. It’s Karen and David, babe.” He took a step closer to the brunette, cupping his face and tilting his own while his eyes got lost in Luca’s, his tongue darting to wet his lips before he spoke. “Aren’t we just luck we had clothes on at least?” The blonde teased, kissing his boyfriend softly. “It was nice to see them anyways. I mean, I was afraid they wouldn’t be so glad to see me here...” In all honesty, Dan wasn’t sure what he was expecting. “But it went well... and you were amazing in the piano. Such a turn on.” 

[yannsscarf]

PRADA SS 2014 MENS AD CAMPAIGN - BEHIND THE SCENES

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

The sound the textbook makes as it hits the floor is way louder than it should be, startling Luca almost as much as Dan’s sudden movement had. It wasn’t like they were doing anything that would be frowned upon if they had been caught, even if they were sitting closer than two boys who were just study partners should. He can feel his stomach start to knot, letting out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding once he hears his name, forcing a smile onto his face. “Whatever you guys normally get is fine.” He murmurs, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “Thank you.”

Once they’re alone again, Luca moves to get his own book out of his backpack, the distance between them now evident. “And what was that?” He mutters, hating himself for reacting this way, but unable to stop himself. Luca liked Dan, he liked him a lot, and whatever the hell had just happened left him feeling hurt. “Let’s just finish the assignment.”

He’s sulking and he knows it, flipping through the pages of his book to find where they had left off a bit too hard, his eyes trained on the pages He can’t bring himself to look at Dan, afraid of whatever look was on the blonde’s face, silence quickly settling between them. But finally, Luca breaks, a sigh leaving his lips as his eyes meet Dan’s, fingers tapping nervously on the textbook that sat on his lap. “What are we doing, Dan? Like…not in the right now sense, but in the me and you sense. If there’s even that.” The brunette asks, his voice quiet. “Maybe I should just go home.”

None of his efforts to make the awkwardness dissipate work. Dan should’ve known better and the pang in his chest was enough to let him know that, though unintentionally, he had done something wrong. He could feel it. He could see it in the way Luca avoided his eyes or how he took to tapping nervously on the text books. They hadn’t known each other long but the amount of time they spent together since was enough to help him pick up a few things here and there. 

He didn’t know what to say. Lips parted as a heavy sigh escaped him, chest falling and eyes wincing. A hand reached the back of his neck, scratching the spot idly, turning over his shoulder to look in the direction of the door. ‘And what was that?’ He didn’t think he had to explicitly point at it. At them. At this. “Luca—” His voice, however, isn’t strong enough to earn himself any attention, overwhelmed at everything happening at that moment, panicking, even, when the brunette mentioned perhaps leaving.

“It’s complicated.” Dan’s defense was weak, just as the sound of his voice, eyes pleading silently for Luca not to leave though he remained seated in a lotus position with his textbook on his lap and his hands pressed hard in each side of the book as he tried to stop them from shaking as they suddenly took to do. “Not you and me, us, complicated. Me and them, complicated.” He was practically whispering now, bright eyes wide open as he stared back at the one boy who he had fallen for so unmistakably, so irrevocably. “I like you. I like you a lot. I like you more than I ever saw myself like anyone. It’s crazy, I know. We’re in High School and everything can change tomorrow and life goes on but... but I don’t want us to change. I just- I just don’t want them to change with me either, and I don’t know how to tell them, okay? I don’t know if they’ll accept it, Luca, and they’re the only ones I’ve got. I’m sorry- I’m- I’m sorry, okay? I mean it. I’m sorry I pushed myself away like that... I just- fuck.”

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

Refilling their glasses, Luca smiles, nodding at Dan’s request. “Oh, alright. You know how much I like to show off the piano.” He teases as he tilts Dan’s chin up, pressing a quick kiss to the blonde’s lips. He knew his aunt and uncle wouldn’t mind the small display of affection, thought he doesn’t push it, pulling back after a moment. “Plus you asked so nicely.” 

Smirking, Luca runs his thumb along Dan’s cheek before letting his hand fall, rubbing his palms together. “Piano it is then. Don’t get up unless you want to.” He knew it was silly to be nervous to be playing for Dan and his aunt and uncle, but he always felt some butterflies before playing for someone else. It was part of what kept humble.

“Alright, so…this is just part of it, obviously, but…it’s one of my favorite parts.” The brunette admits with a small smile, taking a seat on the piano bench. “Okay, I’m gonna stop talking now and let you guys listen instead.” 

“That was beautiful, Luca.” David replies once the music stops, grinning over in his nephew’s direction. “Absolutely beautiful.”

“It was.” Karen agrees with a nod, giving Luca’s hand a gentle squeeze once he returns to the table, her smile matching her husband’s. 

Blushing, Luca reaches for his wine again, attempting to hide his smile as he takes a sip. “Thank you. It’s a beautiful project, it deserves beautiful music.” 

There’s a moment where everything in the room went completely quiet, when Dan could swear neither him or Luca’s aunt and uncle were breathing, just taking in the music as the brunette’s fingers danced on the marbled keys. It was a beautiful sound and Dan was as mesmerized in his boyfriend and the piano as he had been the very first time he had seen Luca play.

The blond just stares, smiling proudly, both through his lips and his eyes, as Karen and David shower their nephew with compliments. He just waits until Luca makes it back to sitting beside him, an arm snaking behind his boyfriend, his fingers sneaking into the dark locks on the back of Luca’s neck, massaging the spot softly. “You’re beautiful.” He whispered, leaning to kiss Luca’s cheek, his lips lingering just a second longer as he breathed the words into his ear before retaking his composure and taking a drink fro his wine. “You know what I just thought of?” He said then, to everyone around the table and as though it was the most casual of ideas. “We should all attend the screening when it’s released at the film festival in May. I mean, you guys should definitely be there.” The blonde addressed the other adults in the room. His hand kept massaging the spot behind Luca’s neck as he spoke. “What do you think, babe?”

[genesis39-6]

Cold Days.

[danxhealy-blog]

lucascavo:

Dan and Luca have been pretty much inseparable since their first date, slowly but surely figuring out exactly what they were. Being in a relationship in high school was one thing, but being in a relationship with someone of the same sex wasn’t nearly as accepted, even in the early 2000s. Luca knew he was lucky to have friends and family who didn’t even bat an eye, and he was grateful for that.

Normally they would hang out and do homework and stuff at his place after school, but on this day they were at Dan’s. It wasn’t like Luca minded, but he could tell there was something slightly off about it. They had been together (at least unofficially) for a little while now, and while Luca was more of a heart on his sleeve kind of guy, Dan was more private.

Luca’s chemistry book is between them, half balanced on each of their laps, the brunette’s knee playfully nudging the blonde’s as he leans over to read over a section. “I feel like I’ve read the same section three times now and I still don’t get it. Remind me how chemistry is going to help with my music career?” He half asks, half whines, making a face. He’s entirely distracted by Dan, barely focusing on the work they’re supposed to be doing, when the fain sound of footsteps starts towards them, signaling that one of Dan’s grandparents was coming into the room. 

The time Dan spends with Luca usually feels both eternal and ephemeral at the same time; like it’s everything and not enough. For school. After school. Extracurriculars. The late night calls. The constant texting. They were already in a relationship in the eyes of everyone they met—they just needed to label it. Dan was only sure of one thing: every passing day he fell deeper for the brunette in a way he had never felt before; in a way he didn’t think possible. 

Their knees touch under the textbook, shoulder to shoulder on as they seat on the floor of his room with their backs to his bed. His door is half opened because his grandparents had a ‘no closed doors’ rule. It had been meant as a literal and figurative house rule in which they would be open to each other but this Dan was having trouble in being open with. He was scared. He didn’t know how to tell them. His grandmother being so religious; His grandfather being so manly. He didn’t want to be a failure. He didn’t want them to stop loving him. But he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t not be with Luca. Even under his own roof, the first and only boy he brought home even with the excuse of a school project. 

His chuckles die and he quickly moves to put some distance between them when the doorsteps come closer, the textbook falling now that it was missing his knee for balance. His eyes avoid Luca’s and he stands up just in time to welcome his grandmother. “Hey nana.” The blond greets almost too quickly, too nervously, and the woman just frowns at him before smiling as she turns to Luca. “How’s the studying going?” Dan just bites his lips and shrugs in response, his grandmother arching her brows at his answer. “Well I hope it gets better if you want to pass that class. Your grandfather is heading out to get you boys a pizza. Luca, do you have a preference?” It’s only after she goes back downstairs that Dan kinds of winds back down, seating across from Luca but not addressing what had just happened, ignoring the big elephant in the room. Instead, he picks up the textbook. “Chemistry won’t help us at all, but at least one good thing came out of it, right? I’ll read it for us... how about an Irish accent? Will that help? I can do Russian, might be funnier.”