Down but definitely not out ♡

"Or are we rushing this life to pass, numbing our minds from love?" Dara / 20 / Northern Ireland / 45XO SSAS doctor, English student, blogger, animal lover and Queen's Guide award participant. Hello x n ♥ About me Personal posts Self portraits Seen live list writing blog University Bucket list Twitter Blogspot Music YouTube Spillit Outfits

[dararobinson]

And while we're getting all deep and posting about ~*~*~fEeLiNgS~*~*~ (well you're not, it's just me, but heyyo), I really do feel far too old for social media lately. I can't really explain why, but every time I post something, especially something personal, I just feel embarrassed and want to delete it again, and I'm just not all that sure I have that much left to say anymore. The summer is always the worst because all I do is go to work everyday and come home, log on Facebook and see people posting about spending their days with their friends/boyfriend/girlfriend etc. But working is just a part of real, grown up life and I'm struggling to see how social media fits in to that for me. It sucks. I think what I'm trying to say is, I'm pretty much done. I want to keep up with my friends' lives in real life, instead of finding out everything through Facebook or Twitter. I want coffees and real life conversations. Words, as much as they're typed on a screen with good intentions, and as much as I can appreciate them, don't really compensate for a hug, or seeing someone face to face. It's easier said than done, but I've been in the real world of work for 2 months now, and the real world, with real life interaction, is where I need to be and stay right now.

[dararobinson]

Once, a while back, I read a quote online that said "Be the woman a man needs, not the woman that needs a man". And, as much as I am always the last person to blow my own trumpet, I like to think that I've achieved that one, or that I will get there in future.

It's like this: I have been through a lot. I know, I'm not the only one, but I have a confession; I have a real complex about asking for help. My thought process is that when a problem occurs, I always end up blaming myself, and then withdrawing/attempting to resolve the problem alone, because in my head I've created the problem and why would I want to burden my loved ones with that? I withdraw and I struggle to even lean on and accept support from friends and family. It's not ideal, and it's not healthy, but it's how I've dealt with things. And of course I have, as always, been single. That's not to say that having a boyfriend wouldn't have made things easier, of course it would have, but I've survived and came this far and through all I have without one. I think that's what the last few years have been about. I've needed to realise I can be okay on my own, and deal with bad situations when they arise. The reality is, though I hate saying it of myself, I am strong. I am resilient. It's a miracle I'm still here after everything, but I am. 

And when I think back over my love life so far, and the amount of time I've wasted on guys who didn't care about me, I feel like these guys will need me, 10, 20 years from now, a hell of a lot more than I'll ever have needed them. I may not be the prettiest, funniest, smartest girl, but I hope I am someone's idea of beautiful. I have to know my own worth now, be more confident, stand up for myself and stop letting boys lead me on, mess me around and treat me badly. What I have to offer is the fact that, if people are honest and actually communicate, I will care about them. I would put 100% in to a relationship, put them first, doing little things, buy them things, listen to them and not give up easily or run away from the worst aspects of their personality. All I can say is, that's rare to find but it's all I have to give. So I hope someone will eventually take it ahah. And this has been a post.

[niknak79]

[dararobinson]

So happy :)

[vitna-deactivated20151005]

Milky Way Over Mt. Bachelor | Mitch Darby

[dararobinson]

In other news my housemate is the best person ever, it's definitely the little things but I could not have found a better one. It's nice when people know that you've been struggling and are there when you need them. :) and now we're off out to Kremlin and hopefully going to get nicely drunk :)

[dararobinson]

Since this thing seems primarily used to talk about my love life these days (oooops) I have actually got talking to the nicest guy. He called me beautiful, has offered to do things for me no one else would, treats me well, he drives, is going to try and convert me to Game of Thrones (only been on my list for a year!) and he just is so lovely. We are very different from each other but I hope that it will work in our favour. There's also the fact that it's been difficult (in ways I won't explain, but hopefully that means it will be worth it :) the best things in life never come easy)

Of course this is probably the part where it all fucks up and I've jinxed it and it will go wrong when we get meeting up, but I'm willing to shout about him from the rooftops. I would really like a guy who seems like he cares for a change and surely given some of the disasters I've dated prior to now it makes a change! I am content :)

[dararobinson]

I just think people give up on others too easily. Nothing more, nothing less.

[prettycolors]

#fe5d6a

[animated-disney-gifs]

[kpfun]

[fangirlscout]

This is basically what it’s like to be an adult.

[prettycolors]

#f4b406

[pleatedjeans]

[dararobinson]

[dararobinson]

Sometimes I think I'm okay and make great decisions when it comes to my love life until I remember I once dated a guy who didn't even know what spontaneous meant. Someone needs to hit me a slap or start choosing the guys I date because clearly I can't. Ha

[hello-lolo-blog1]

And you tried to change, didn’t you? Closed your mouth more. Tried to be softer, prettier, less volatile, less awake… You can’t make homes out of human beings. Someone should have already told you that. And if he wants to leave, then let him leave. You are terrifying, and strange, and beautiful. Something not everyone knows how to love.

Warsan Shire, For Women Who Are Difficult To Love  (via afwul)

[catleecious]

[just-the-way-you-arent]

King of the jungle

ok how can you not reblog this