LUDUMO. @darcmase - Tumblr Blog

Me, hypomanic af: Wow! I feel great! My meds must really be working! I’m gonna do so many great things with my life! I’m gonna get like 5 PhDs and become a great artist! I’m gonna do all those things in a very short amount of time because I’m super great at everything! I’m gonna read 50000000 Wikipedia articles and watch disturbing documentaries all day and all night for the next month! Knowledge motherfucker! Why am I shaking??? Who cares! My meds have cured me! I’m going to feel like this forever!

Me, after the crash:

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Mommy Issues

I learned young, As many do, That an overly-long Christmas list Only gets you into trouble. Because it’s good to know what you want, But it’s not good to say it. Best to cut your wishes in half before you voice them, And better yet to expect only half of what you then give voice. This is why I never asked you if I could bloom, Never expected to be any more than crawling vine, barren of leaf, Never asked you to nourish me into someone better, Or anything more than what could grow from beneath your shadow. I only ever wished to replenish the milk that was lost in your absences. I’ll admit, How i have longed to become that proverbial glass- Half empty or half full, What the fucks the difference? I never asked to flow over, Never expected abundance, or surplus, Or never to thirst, I never asked to be full, half full, I just wish that you would at least WANT to try and fill me. I would never say that I want the hurt of what has never been between us to go away, But sometimes I wish I had the courage to ask you to hurt me differently. I would never say that I want to change everything between us, But I might say that I’d like to change half of it.

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Source: amenisa.tumblr.com

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if you ever think about sending me an ask and decide not to cause “oh she doesn’t care” or “oh I don’t want to bother her” literally I’m the loneliest piece of shit you can find and would still love you if you sent me the word nuzzle over and over again