Paradox

Welcome to daily of Trainwreck blog, I am the person who play Jeanne Ke'arcia (Former Marina D'arca) on FF14 Balmung server and this is my/her blog where I will post FF14 stuff, my artwork, my own stuff and Jeanne. Tell me more about yourself? Well, I can start off with.. I am Joanna, deaf, 27, artist, I laugh so easy, is mean and a gamer. I like music (Yay for hearing aid for being your best friend and don't believe anything internet tell you. They are wrong... Period.) I am nothing but a massive sucker nerd for JRPGs. People said I am friendly if they believe so >:) Song of the year: Say! Hey! Jump - Precious girl

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Jeanne’s Fashion, Red Mage outfit, Blade of Ishgardian.

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My Twitter I spend more time on.

https://twitter.com/M_Jomofo

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Beautiful rivalry

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Fashion!

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Jeanne Ke’arcia, feeling cute.

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Been gone tooo faaar long.. tbh I forget I had this for sometime and I am active on Twitter more for FFXIV stuff.. I might as well become active on here when I can! Small update! Been busy IRL still. I changed Marina D’arca to Jeanne Ke’karica and gave her little of fresh over after all the drama I had to put up with due to one person in former FC. New fresh start is better for me!

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I haven’t been post for sometime so here is couple of photo with new haircut and platinum blonde.

Been dealing crap with life.

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New phone’s photo give a decent selfie to post. I’d say the testing turn out so well and in Batman tee... Cause WHO CARE TO LOOK LIKE A MESS!

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:x Dose of latest selfie.

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I havent been active this much so I took some new screenshot of Marina’s new armor and some new change. Enjoy \o/

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pretty much me as late.... Lost shits tons of weight and is in need of haircut rip... Its down my butt... FFFFFFFF

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OwO

I haven’t been checked in for like… FoReVeR…. :v To be honest, I have been busy with life before the lockdown and semi-quitting MMORPG for a year till lockdown happened and I am back on it… Just barely.

I have been major focus on myself in weight loss and I made a  huge progression for myself, I aimed to reach healthy weight for my height and I finally did, I was so proud of myself for put all the effort into this for last 2 years and half, I have nothing to say but proud of myself to push myself to get that far and I did it for medical reason due to my illness, I also had amazing people who been supported me so far but… However… I did have other people who weren't very supportive of it who would make an eating disorder/fat me up jokes and put me down for the work I’ve put myself through. To me, those jokes were very offensive because I survived from eating disorder at 16 years old where I’d starved myself due to depression and personal reason due to traumatic and then I got a lot better where I slowly gain weight eventually, I’ve come to become a binge eater to eating away my depression, I gain lots of weight to the point where my illness and my body cannot take it anymore. I made a major change for myself for a reason but going through all of that actually teaches you one or two things, I learnt that… No matter how far you’ve archived for yourself, there are going to be people who cannot support you or body shaming you which is really sad. I learnt to overlook it and cut all of the toxic people out of my life to focus on well being, happiness and a life where you can enjoy without a bad energy around you.

It's what I’ve been up to so far and now I am in lockdown for…. Almost 9 weeks now, no fun… ; ; but I stay busy to stay sane and doing everything I could for myself, doing home workout and so on but I cannot reconnected with MMORPGs like I used to after all the toxicity experiences I went through to due few people and one person who made Roleplaying become less fun for me and see it as job because you have to be careful what you do, what to say and so on… It also led me to leave the old FC to focus on good energy and so on to carry on with my life and to find a time to be able and enjoy the MMORPGS without feel like it is a “job” to you. 

Now… I am looking at this blog… I did enjoy stuff I posted on here so far but… Same time… I feel like I have no use for this blog now and I am curious if I should create my own personal blogs for myself, my life, shitpost and so on without any MMORPGs related to it.

So yeah…. That's pretty it!

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I havent post much lately nor kept anyone updating whats been going on with me. Things are pretty great but busy and I decided to dye my hair to even more blonder as ever and those are my recent selfie...... Before 2020 came!

Oh, been focusing on losing weight stil, I think I lost so many since 2 years ago and I am really proud how far I’ve come.

PEACE!

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ME AS MAID OF HONOUR! Make up and all! Glam up which I barely do expect I draw my eyebrows often....

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My latest selfie... My rip botched hair, I am now bimbo bish.

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I feel like I haven’t posted for a long time... SO MANY THING HAPPEN IN MY LIFE.... In a good way obvi.

Botched my hair.... Pink to Blonde and now I am just a blonde white girl mistaken for danish girl a lot... A L O T.

Been super super super busy with IRL, semi-quitting MMORPGs, only play it when I have free time... I get to be the maid of honour at my best friend’s wedding last week, I get to do the speech... WHICH WAS A NERVOUS WRECK OMG OMG OMG but it went well, I didn't humiliate myself so thank god for dat. I had so many things to do with IRL, going to Con and so many more and I had fun... It was nice to be away from MMORPGs and the stress, I stopped being enjoying myself due to lots of things had happen online and I wanted to come to home to enjoy the game, but I couldn't do that and I realised I missed my life a lot, I missed out so much so I decided to take a big step for myself to focus on my life and to enjoy it which was one of the best things I’ve decided for myself. But I do miss people online and I try my best to stay in touch, but sometime, you gotta focus on you and be selfish for your own happiness. There is no a crime in it.