[darianish]

Why?

I’m just going to post this here because I have no other outlets and I can’t handle these emotions. Feel free to just keep scrolling. 

I don’t understand why I have been cheated on in every relationship that I have been in. I don't know why this keeps happening to me, I don't know what I have done to deserve this.. 

I’m not sexually immature or unavailable. In fact, I am extremely sexually adventurous, more than the average girl. 

I am not cruel or distant. I’m actually incredibly kind and caring. I do my best to make sure everyone is provided for and happy, both emotionally and financially. I bend over backwards to take care of others. So, is it because I am too nice? Too forgiving? Easy to take advantage of?

I feel as though there must be something wrong with me for this to be such a recurrent trauma in my life. It’s happened so often that I seem to have developed a sixth sense for it, I always know when things have changed. 

And having been through it so many times, I’ve ended it in every way possible. I’ve cut ties immediately, I’ve forgiven and tried again only to have a repeat offense years later. I just don't know what to do at this point.. 

I don’t know if I should try to save this relationship, or if I should just cut my losses and move on. II have literal infinite questions. Is there ever a right answer to this? Shall I abandon this life and this family that I’ve built? Is he completely at fault or does mental illness have some part in this charade? Will I ever be able to forgive? And on that note will I be able to trust again? I feel like at this point, I’m always looking over my shoulder, ready to be attacked at any time. 

I also feel as though the influence of social media in this day and age makes it so much easier, and even more tempting, to have illicit affairs and relationships. I think there’s a good chance I’m going to be swearing off of them, for a very long while. 

I’m tired of being trampled over and disregarded. 

As a digression: my depression is at an all time high (low?), understandably. I’ve already passed the threshold of self-harm, but I’m trying. I can’t let it take over. I can't let it go too far.. but I’m quickly running out of things to live for. 

[maraldart]

Recently finished diptych “Trumpeters”

[moldyjunk]

“It’s chaos. Be kind.”

[loviely]

I think about death a lot. Mostly about how our love lived and grew flowers in our chests so tall they started to grow weeds which we both seemed to suffocate on And our love slept on the couch for three nights, leaving the porch light on, hoping you’d come home. But you never came home I’m not even sure you understand where home is and that even if you love something you can over love something too. And that’s the scariest part- I’m always worried that one day you’ll wake up and you’ll cough a dandelion into your lap and you’ll forget that six months ago you called me beautiful.

He called beautiful before he stopped calling. (via loviely)

[the-final-sentence]

[You are not a match.] You are a goddamn wildfire.

Amanda Oaks, from “How to Pick Up the Pieces” (via the-final-sentence)

[thequotejournals]

Let it be known: I did not fall from grace. I leapt to freedom.

Ansel Elkins, “Autobiography of Eve” (via thelovejournals)

[brilliantlyhorrid]

I’m not about to kinkshame a whole aquarium but

[wizzard890]

carry me into the sunset, my cephalopod prince

[theshmaylor]

friends, you don’t understand. This ad campaign was goddamn HUGE. They bought out the entirety of multiple train stations in Boston with these. There are so many more, and they’re all this same beautiful combination of questionable/amazing.

[poppetawoppet]

@lynne-monstr

[lynne-monstr]

This is the best thing in my life

[gattsudiberserk]

[endless-unfolding]

To be held by the light was what I wanted, to be a tree drinking the rain,

Linda Hogan, from “To Be Held,” Dark. Sweet. (Coffee House Press, 2014)

[mariopowertennis]

This is one of the funniest fucking things I’ve ever read like what an absolute goon and a half

[babyanimalgifs]

[machine-dove]

Congress Just Gave Trump Awful News About His Next Golf Trip

Trump will now think twice before pilfering taxpayers for another round.

Rep. Ted Lieu (D-CA) has formally introduced a bill into Congress that would require Trump to reimburse the government for funds spent on travel to his own properties, such as Mar-a-Lago in Florida and the Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, NJ.

Lieu’s bill, the Stop Waste and Misuse by the President (SWAMP) Act, states that Trump’s travel “results in the American taxpayer effectively subsidizing the president’s businesses.” The bill would also require that Trump reimburse the government for Secret Service costs derived from visits to his properties.

[elfgrove]

This should be a no brainer to pass, even for this GOP lackeys.

[falseknees]

Sometimes it’s best to appreciate at a distance

[wilwheaton]

From my friend, a woman, who lives in a red state.

[l-unaire]

[unpretty]

has anyone suggested that rich people keep writing shitty articles about millennials because the only millennials they know are their rich shitty children

[b33tl3b0y]

little ping pong paddle antennae sons to bring you joy on this day

[revretch]

They don’t have a common name but their scientific name is Platyrhopalopsis which sounds like one of Peter Rabbit’s sisters and that’s very appropriate

They freeload off of ants

Some eat ant babies and others just make the ant babies vomit and eat that

What terrible bunnies