trash boat

a dump blog for starter memes nbd

[dariavanburen]

WILD CHILD ( 2008 ) STARTERS

These quotes are from the 2008 chick flick “Wild Child” starring Emma Roberts. Feel free to alter the pronouns to your discretion.

1.  ❝ I hope your flight gets seriously delayed, and I hope your bags end up in Kazakhstan. ❞ 2.  ❝ What the bleep is that? ❞ 3.  ❝ Oh, sweetheart. This is not Beverly Hills 90210. ❞ 4.  ❝ Why don’t you go out and buy yourself...anything. Whatever you get will be a serious improvement. ❞ 5.  ❝ I’m a pescetarian Mondays through Wednesdays, fruitarian Thursday through Sunday, and vegetarian always. ❞ 6.  ❝ Hey, watch the ‘shmere, girlfriend! Two hundred goats died for this. ❞ 7.  ❝ I could whip all of your asses blindfolded. ❞ 8.  ❝ Do your worst, horse face. ❞  9.  ❝ I don’t think I have anything thicker than prosciutto. ❞ 10.  ❝ She’s got more lives than a Buddhist cat. ❞ 11.  ❝ You’re actually making something quite exciting sound like physics homework.❞ 12.  ❝ Honey, not even Buddha would be caught dead wearing this stuff. ❞ 13.  ❝ I won’t fry your head if you won’t poach my heart. ❞ 14.  ❝ Someone call Al Gore. I think the ice queen is melting. ❞ 15.  ❝ Let’s just pretend that the ball is the last size 5 pair of Manolos at Barneys. ❞ 16.  ❝ I think I just fell down the rabbit hole and found it. ❞ 17.  ❝ I won’t insult everybody by trying to defend myself or my actions. ❞ 18.  ❝ I think it’s safe to say that I’ve messed up. ❞ 19.  ❝ I’ve had a hole in my heart for five years, and somehow being here, it slowly started to heal. ❞ 20.  ❝ Okay, suckers, showtime. Let’s open a can of whoop-ass! ❞ 21.  ❝ This is our last chance. Let’s make it count! ❞ 22.  ❝ You needed to breathe a different kind of air. ❞ 23.  ❝ They’re just a horridious cow I used to know. ❞ 24.  ❝ Please tell me you’re not going to do anything crazy. ❞ 25.  ❝ There are some things you’re just way too young to understand. ❞ 26. ❝ I don’t even recognize you anymore. ❞ 27.  ❝ You can just replace me with a newer, trashier version. ❞ 28. ❝ I think you might have pushed it too far this time. ❞      29.  ❝ At least they speak American there, right? ❞ 30.  ❝ But who’s going to cut the crusts off my sandwiches? ❞

[dariavanburen]

THETHIRDPEW STARTERS

a variety of truth bombs from Nathan Zed aka TheThirdPew on YouTube

 If I’m being honest, personally, I would give myself a solid 5/10.

If you start out like being a 10, what are you doing? Where are you gon’ go? What’s the point? It’s like buying a new video game and you already won before you even start playing.

Let me donate both kidneys.

The process of finding a perfect barber for you can be described as a spiritual journey.

If Drake was able to glo up at 28 years old, the rest of us got plenty of time.

If you’re over 28, I don’t know what to tell you man.

Everyone wants to keep refining themselves with the situation they’re at.

I don’t want to be responsible for what I say when I’m asleep. How is that fair? My brain is on autopilot.

You look like a cooler Paul Blart...that’s still not very cool.

Can we all agree to stop adding ‘man’ to the everything to make it seem more manly?

I love making mistakes. It’s probably one of the things I’m good at.

This intro is traaaaash!

You look like Drake’s ugly cousin Derrick.

If we’re being really honest, your shoes are whack and you smell really bad.

Maybe it’s best if she died so she won’t ever have to smell you again.

I can’t do a good Kanye impression but I can do an impression of Obama doing a bad Kanye impression.

I know you’re bad. I just need you to know you’re bad.

Why would anyone wanna listen to me sing when they can listen to Adele or Shawn Mendes..uhm...Crazy Frog?

 I wish death upon you and your family.

I have to kill him before he kills me.

You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Basketball...not alcohol.

If I can’t trust Jared from Subway, who can I trust?

I think 2016 might be Iggy Azalea’s year.

Can someone turn off that stupid ukulele music?

A big reason why so many goals fail is because they were set incorrectly.

Maybe setting goals isn’t your cup of tea. Maybe you don’t even like tea.

I have the athletic ability of a blind Galapagos turtle covered in molasses with no will to live and who’s trash at basketball.

I’m allergic to water.

I need to feel important!

This video was sponsored by....food! If you don’t eat it, you’ll die. Go buy food!

[dariavanburen]

WHOOPSIE POOPSIE - DEANDRA STARTERS

a variety of Deandra quotes from season 1 of MPGIS NOTE: profanity, vulgarity, threats, crack, poop, etc.; you may alter gender nouns and pronouns to your preference

“I want to poop here…whenever I want, for as long as I want.”

“Have fun smelling my poops, bitches!”

“Jesus Christ! Is that a fucking gremlin?”

“Do you guys ever talk about anything other than revenge?”

“I just saw this video of a kid online who could light up a light bulb by sticking it in his mouth. I mean, what’s going on there right?”

“Nobody even cares about prom. I don’t give two shits about prom. Fuck prom! That’s what I say.”

“I had my fucking arms ripped off for second runner up? This is fucking  bullshit!”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed but most guys don’t wanna fuck a girl with no arms and the guys that do are very strange.”

“We should probably go eat an entire meal and reorganize.”

“I was invited here for dinner, not some Indiana Jones zinfandel hunt.”

“The ‘c’ word and the butt talk are the least of your worries.”

“So you mean you can’t say ‘fuck?’ What about ‘shit?’ ‘Dick?’ ‘Cunt?’ ‘Bitch?’ ‘Little cunty bitch?’ What about ‘twat snatcher?’”

“When you pressure blast Mountain Dew out of your anus, it’s not easily forgotten!”

“I’m tired of running away from the past. I’m tired of lying about who I am.”

“She ruined my life once. It’s not gonna happen again!”

“So I guess we’re at…eat a dick!”

“I do have one other talent that may be of use.”

“Phase one is complete. Now it’s time to execute ‘Operation: Thanksgiveme.’”

“Gobble gobble motherfucker! Gobble gobble!”

“I was wondering if you might be able to assist me in my search for a misplaced taco.”

“Time is of the essence when you’re dealing with such perishables.”

“Isn’t there an issue of me being a girl?”

“Does the buffet include the soup of the day or do I need to pay extra for that?”

“We don’t go around destroying other people’s arms.”

“What the fuck! Why am I the most likely suspect? This is some fucking bullshit!”

“I like what you guys have done with this place. That’s quite a painting over there.”

“Oh…we must be talking about a different Cher then.”

“Strange name for a strange lady.”

“It means whatever the fuck you want it to mean.”

“You cursed me out in the bathroom earlier today.”

“You’re the handjob girl, right?”

“You can’t keep coming to me every two weeks like this. I got shit to do.”

“The nubs’ the best part of the entire wing! Everybody knows that all of the flavor is encased inside of the nub meat.”

“Normally I watch my carb intake but– oh, nevermind!”

“I want you to crouton this loaf of bread for me.”

[dariavanburen]

WILLAMIZED - WILLAM BELLI STARTERS

a variety of Willam-isms from her YouTube channel and collabs NOTE: profanity, sex, vulgarity, overall buffoonery, fleek overload

“My vision for you is just a fresh-faced college girl.”

“There’s a dead spider on it! It’s so cool it’s like a fossil!”

“The first thing I’m gonna do is clean my hands.”

“Have you seen that movie ‘Frozen’? You’re gonna look nothing like that.”

“I met a white Dwayne last night and I was like…I met three other Dwayne’s and none of them were white.”

“It’s so much fun to get high at Ikea just because there’s so much possibilities.”

“This looks like I know what I’m doing.”

“The blue lets you know you’ll suck it, the pink lets you know you’ll swallow.”

“You could totally like charge money…for babysitting.”

“You kinda look like a WWE diva.”

“It looks like she has a full-time career at being awful.”

“That’s why you get shit done because you’re straight.”

“It’s definitely like Adele’s bleached out whorey little sister.”

“Pretend you’re trying to be sexy coz you need a ride to go somewhere.”

“I only have three nails painted.”

“I don’t mind getting dirty. I love being dirty.”

“I just have good cheekbones. The rest of my face is total man.”

“She’ll only bottom if there’s a scented candle.”

“I look like the cartoon version of you because it’s pretty.”

“We need that on! I look like a man!”

“It’s gonna get messy. That’s what I say in bed.”

“This is why people block you on Twitter.”

“You’re gonna do well in jail.”

“Good mornting! Fourscore and seven whores ago.”

“I was a door bitch when you were the queen of the scene.”

“Leap year is good for the skin.”

“I wasn’t aware of my own douchebaggery. Now I am and I love it.”

“I remember doing the alphabet with my tongue while eating a woman out.”

“Ooohh Elsa’s grown up and she’s back. The reckoning. She bringin’ the ice, part two.”

“I ate horse in Japan. My Little Pony up in my mouth.”

“I treat my body like Gandhi Monday through Friday and then like a French gutter Saturday and Sunday.”

“I just do shots. Mixers make you fat.”

“It’s the year of the fist!”

“That’s what happens when you do drugs and lock me in the room.”

“Fuck a bow! I’ll put a bow on a dick.”

“You were supposed to bring the lube. You’re the bottom!”

“I’m kind of a poet like Maya Angelou.”

“I could be the witty best friend of a really hot guy.”

“He doesn’t love you. He wants to fuck you.”

“If you don’t love yourself…something RuPaul says.”

[dariavanburen]

PEWDIEPIE (THE LAST GUARDIAN) 161012

NOTE: mild profanity, crack; reblog and use at your own discretion

“I want my fifty Swedish crowns back. Thank you very much.”

“I remember your smug ass face.”

“Jesus Christ! That’s a hippopota-potamus!”

“I can trip over which seems like a useful feature.”

“How you doin’ there buddy? Don’t eat me please.”

“We’re best friends, right?”

“Nice little burp there, thank you very much.”

“Well that didn’t really work out, did it? Let’s try that again.”

“I don’t know why I struggled with that so much.”

“I can’t tell if he’s with me or not. He scares me.”

“I did that. I did that all by myself.”

“I’m very proud of that little flame thing I did over there.”

“I’m so cute. I look like a little Jacksepticeye.”

“That’s my stop, thank you very much. I’m outta here.”

“Nailed it. So easy. Not a problem.”

“Are you fucking high, PlayStation? What are you smoking?”

“I feel fantastic. That aspirin was really working.”

“Pick up the glowing lava, of course, as you do.”

“Hey buddy, I got your favorite snack. Some acid.”

“Don’t spill the Smurf juice.”

“Don’t pet my Smurf juice.”

“I think he might be allergic to Smurf juice.”

“I did all of that just for him to eat it?”

“It’s interesting how he may or may not listen to me.”

“If you have a pet, this game will be very relatable.”

“This one has spiky things on it so I guess this works better.”

“This time when I do it, I’m just gonna push it and get the fuck outta here.”

“I’m glad he bit my shirt and not my arm.”

“I gotta help him. He needs the Smurf juice!”

“Oh my God! This is stressing me the fuck out.”