Who did this to you. (Prompt from JJ)
My eyes flutter open from the sunlight, my older brother had opened the blinds. Great. I woke up today. I try not to sigh, pulling myself upright.
“Well Goodmorning sleepyhead, it’s the afternoon now!” My brother, James, twenty-going-on-twenty-one, exclaimed. “Did you sleep later than usual or somethin’?”
I tried to reply, but my vocal cords didn’t seem to work, so I cleared my throat before speaking.
“Oh uhm… no. I went to sleep at around eleven…”
I lied, I had stayed up all night, scrolling mindlessly and rotting inside, until two in the morning. James sits at the edge of my bed, his blue eyes filled with concern, and something else I just can’t wrap my head around. Now that I think about it, I could always read everyone well, but James, well, he was a different story. I get snapped out of my thoughts as he speaks,
“I’m sorry, Ri. I know it’s been a bit lonely at home, having me working all the time and all.”
I frown, he’s been worrying a lot about me lately, although he needs a check-in himself.
“No, it’s alright, I don’t mind being alone. I enjoy my solitude sometimes,” another lie. I really hate being left alone, it gives me too much time to think. And thoughts bring actions I might regret later. “And when you’re not here, I don’t have to constantly be nagged by you, hm?” I add teasingly, flashing a grin.
Let me introduce myself better, I’m River Caddel. I have wavy dark brown hair, and darker brown eyes. I’ve always wished I could have my mother’s beauty, like how my brother has her striking blue eyes. I’m just… me. Just basic River. I’ve never known why my parents had named me river, my eyes aren’t an icy blue, flowing like a river, trying to find a destination they’ll never reach, I’ve never been that pretty. Everyone always says I am pretty, gorgeous even, but in the back of my mind, I just don’t believe it, I’m used to smiling and thanking them for the compliment.
Today, is a big day. It’s my parents anniversary, so me and James were planning on visiting their graves to celebrate them. I don’t want to seem like some angsty teen, but I didn’t expect to have made it this far. Since mom and dad died, everything went downhill. Everyone at school knew, and high school kids have to think everything is funny, because the “your mom” jokes are getting old by now. Honestly, I don’t get as shaken up as I used to whenever I relive the car crash, I guess I’m over it, or it’s just denial, who knows.
I pull myself out of bed, I had to visit Leila; my ex girlfriend, in prison. She had been arrested right after leaving my house. Leila and I had a very on and off relationship, she took advantage of me, she did things to me that no one should, but in some way, I craved the attention, I craved feeling useful, loved. In some twisted way, I missed her it. So of course, when she was hauled to the station last month, I did everything I could to get her out, but the evidence was too strong, and it wasn’t enough. Nothing is ever enough. I still visit her whenever I’m allowed, of course.
“James, get out! I’m gonna get dressed to see Leila.”
He scowls at the name, before giving a small reassuring smile.
“You know you don’t have to visit her, right…? If you feel forced I’ll-”
I cut him off.
“Don’t be absurd, there’ll be no need for that! I’ve already forgiven her, and you should too!”
I know I shouldn’t have, she’d crossed much too many lines, but I was well too far in. In my defense, I kinda deserved the manipulation, I’m used to dating guys and throwing their hearts out the window. I know I don’t like them, but I’ll date them, love bomb them, try to act like a good girlfriend, and leave when I get bored. I don’t know who let me do stuff like this when I don’t find myself attractive enough to have the ability, but if they jumped in so soon, the cuck needed a good bit of sense knocked into them, as my brother says, always trying to be supportive. James leaps up from the bed, walking out of the room, closing the door behind him. I pull my blanket from my legs and edge off the bed, staggering forward once I’m on my feet. “Shit… Aspen.” Our dog, Aspen, had slept on my legs all night. I really hate the feeling when my legs are numb, all tingly… It reminds me of how they felt after the car crash, but without the pain of the cuts and scratches the bits of glass had left me. I shudder, trying to shake off the memories, before stomping a bit to get feeling back in my legs. I simply get a change of clothes, dress in them, and walk out of my room. I glance at James, who’s sitting on the couch, watching Breaking Bad, the show he’s been binging constantly. “Is this the only TV show you watch…” I mutter in annoyance under my breath as I pass by him, walking into the kitchen. He flashes me a look— probably a grin, and yells after me,
“Maybe… but atleast I don’t watch romance movies like a heartbroken teen!”
My hand on the fridge handle freezes, and I roll my eyes so hard they could’ve stared straight at my skull.
“Gosh will you get over that…”
I grumble while looking through the fridge. There’s nothing I have a taste for, so I just shove a piece of bread into the toaster. I tap my foot impatiently while I wait for the beep, I’m practically counting down the seconds until I see her.
“Jeez, calm down princess. It won’t kill you to wait a second for a piece of bread.”
James you need to call back mutters, leading me to sigh and call back to him, “Toast. Not bread, toast. Fucking dumbass…”
I hear him chuckle.
“What was that last part, Ri?”
My face flushes a bit, surprised he heard that. “Nothing!”
Right on timing, my toast pops up from the slit. I snatch it, putting it in my mouth.
“‘Kay, I’m heading out now!”
I yell unnecessarily, rushing past him and Aspen on the couch, who had laid himself across James’ legs. He must have seen the blush that had crept onto my cheeks, because the corners of his mouth crept up into a grin. Before he could say anything, I rush out of the door. Do I lock it behind me? ‘Nah, he’ll have to get his lazy ass up and do it himself.’ I think to myself. I dig in my pockets, searching for my keys, before snatching them out. I recently got my first car, a used 1995 Camero. I look down at my car, hand ghosting over the handle. Nice, right? Wait, don’t answer that… shit, am I talking to myself again? My thoughts abruptly come to a halt as I press the unlock button on my keys, beep beep, baby. New car, barely any miles, might as well have some fun driving it, am I right? Even if I am only going to go see my convict ex girlfriend.
