Darkiplier

You hear a voice pop up directly behind you, “Hello there! Simon was it?” As he speaks, out from behind you steps a widely smiling man with a bright pink mustache.

As soon as you blink you hear his voice coming from somewhere new in the sub, “You the other one of Darkie’s partners?” he inquires.

You turn to see him sitting in the chair at the front of the sub. He adjusts his colorful suspenders and nods as he says “My name is Wilford Warfstache,” broad smile never slipping from his face.

-🌸 @a-little-pink-flower

yes... I am...

What the hell is going on

He chuckles from his seat in the chair, “Who knows what’s going on, nothing makes sense here and there’s beauty in that.”

Glancing around the sub he says, “Quite a bit of blood ya got here huh? It all yours?” He sounds impressed.

“Oh a mango!” he takes the mango and starts eating it.

the hell does that mean...

and it's not mine... its complicated-

*I side eye him as he takes my mango*

Is there something you need or are you just here to fuck with me?

“Didn’t know I needed a reason to come meet one of Darkie’s new partners,” he pouts, his mustache almost seeming to cartoonishly droop.

guess not... So are you just gonna sit around and say veauge mysterious shit?

His voice changes positions again and he starts to look at the camera, “Oh I wouldn’t go so far to call myself mysterious,” he looks up, thinking before he says “that’s more Darkie’s thing,” fondly.

Still looking at the camera, he says, “what’s this thing do?”

its an X-ray camera

They equiped the ship with an X-ray specifically because normal cameras can't see through blood... don't exactly have the best memories with that thing...

He seems intrigued by this information, “Interestingggggg! So, what exactly would happen if I,” he reaches out and touches the button with one finger before, “pressed it?”

He presses the button with one finger while the other hand comes up to make a “surprised” gesture at his face.

s' just gonna take a picture... But it's kinda broken, the screen just goes white... As you can see

I mean it's your radiation poisoning... in already suffering the consequences

He waves a dismissive hand and shakes his head, “Bah. ‘Radiation poisoning’ ‘death’ what is it all but one big joke?”

His voice pops up behind you as you feel hands shaking your shoulders, “So lighten up, yeah?”

JES- us...

*I jumped and turned around*

scared me...

You turn around and see nothing because he’s already moved on, again sitting in the pilots chair, quietly looking around at the controls and the sub. He chuckles at your reaction.

woah woah woah hey!

First if all hoe the hell are you doing that?!

Second don't touch that!

“Hm, ‘how’ ‘when’ such meaningless questions,” he pauses for a moment before grinning widely, and the next time you blink turns up behind you once more. He rests his chin on your shoulder and says into your ear, “I just do”

*I flinch again*

What the hell!?

*I pinch the bridge of my nose*

I-... am I hallucinating... that has to be what's happening

He gasps, “Hallucinating? I’m flattered that you think that, but no my dear you’re not hallucinating. You can go ahead and ask Darkie if you need,” he says with a wink and a laugh.

so then...

How the HELL are you in the ship?!

“Well I don’t know how are you in the ship” he says and crosses his arms.

i got sent down here by the C.O.I and-

NO- I asked you first how did you get here!?

Your the one that just magically appeared out of nowhere

Mango in hand he exclaims, “I told you I just do!”

“What more do you want from me,” he pouts, “if you want more of an explanation Darkie in more likely to know,” he sticks his tongue out before continuing to eat the mango.

god ... *I rub my temples and sit down in the chair at the front of the ship*

So are you planning on just hanging around here till my mango stash is gone thanks to you?

“Well no. Because the mangoes are infinite.” His voice shifts again and he’s sitting with his legs hanging into the hole to the under part of the sub, “I’m planning to annoy you dear boy,” he says with a smug look on his face.

well congrats... You've achieved your goal

Also might not wanna do that.. not sure how safe it it

He looks up at you, “Oh. Well good I suppose.”

After a moment of silence he appears in front of you, a bit calmer than he had been, “I did bring you something, if you’d still like it. I think that’s why I actually planned to come here. I mean, other than just to meet Darkie’s new partner,” he winks.

“Anyway. Here ya go!” He smiles bright and holds out his hand, palm up.

oh.. uh... Thanks

Not sure if I should trust you or this but I'm going against my instincts

Anyways how do you know dark?

As soon as you touch his hand the submarine fades out of view and you and he find yourselves in a new room. It’s got bubblegum pink walls, and a desk sits on one end of the room, covered in papers, knickknacks and other things.

“You’re a bit more trusting than I thought you were,” he says excitedly. He seems happy.

“Well anyway. I’ve known Dark for a long long long long time, long as I can remember. At least I think as long as I can remember? It gets a bit foggy some places,” he trails off.

holy... Shit.

*I pause for a minute looking around and taking everything in, my eyes start to tear up*

No... no this... this can't be real... im hallucinating.. your fucking with me! This ... Can't be.. real

*I walk over and touch the walls, the the desk feeling the texture against my fingers cementing in my mind that maybe this is real*

He walks, not appears, up to Simon this time, kindly chuckling before quietly saying, “I can assure you you’re not hallucinating dear boy.”

He gestures to the room around you both, his words still taking a softer tone than they have the entire time you’ve talked to him, “Welcome to the Iplier Manor, I live here much of the time, as does Dark. This is my room! I’m not certain if Darkie is here right now, but if he were he would more than likely be in his office if you would like to see?”

He seems to think for a moment, looking at you, “Although I understand if you need a moment as well.”

*I take a minute to just sit with my feelings*

I uh... im ready to go find dark

He smiles at you, “Wonderful!” He starts to walk toward the door, and looks back over his shoulder to see if you’re following, “If Dark is anywhere he’d probably be in his office, so we can head that way!” he says brightly.

@darkiplier-askblog

@simon-stuck-in-a-bloodocean

okay, lead the way

@darkiplier-askblog

@a-little-pink-flower

Dark is indeed in his office. Its a rather ornate looking room, and dimly lit.

@a-little-pink-flower

@simon-stuck-in-a-bloodocean

Wilford visibly brightens seeing that Dark is in fact here, “Hey Dark!” he says excitedly, “I maybeeeee did a thing, and guess who’s here!”

He gestures to Simon like he’s showing him off

He looks up, smiling when he sees simon. "You brought simon?" He said. Standing to approach his partner.

@simon-stuck-in-a-bloodocean

“I did indeed my glitchy friend!” He leans on Simon’s shoulder like he’s an armrest and winks, “Not stuck in that bloody submarine anymore, eh!”

@simon-stuck-in-a-bloodocean

*I push him off of me*

Hey dark...

Gonna ignore that comment from willford...

@a-little-pink-flower

@darkiplier-askblog

"How are you feeling dear?, are you alright?" He asked

@simon-stuck-in-a-bloodocean

@a-little-pink-flower

Yeah yeah I'm fine... A little confused about... Everything... But fine

@a-little-pink-flower

@darkiplier-askblog