I don’t mean this as a vent (okay, I kind of do, but I also want your thoughts and other people’s too), but you’ve become a really comfortable blog for me to be around, and I love talking to you even when it’s not GF-related.
So I wanted to ask: What do you do when you feel bad about your writing and end up deleting fics because they don’t get the attention you hoped for? Because it feels wrong to say it out loud, but I do want comments. I want to talk to people about my fic. I want them to ask me about it, or tell me what they think, even if it’s critique.
I’ve been writing for GF and other fandoms, and I keep deleting my fics because it starts feeling pointless and embarrassing. Like shouting into the void and no one’s hearing it. But then I feel guilty for even caring about numbers or interaction in the first place.
How do you deal with that feeling? I don’t know.
i understand that feeling, and i know exactly where you’re coming from. what i want to say first is that it’s absolutely okay to want feedback on your fics, art, or whatever you post online.
even if we talk about writing strictly for ourselves, people are still social creatures. sharing something publicly already means you’re inviting others in. you’re sharing thoughts, emotions, interpretations, time and effort. it’s completely normal to hope someone meets you there.
fandom spaces, at least in my understanding, exist exactly for people going crazy about certain characters together. like. it’s a community where we share our own opinions, headcanons, favorite moments, edits, fics, art, memes, all of it, about the things we love. that’s just… how we bond with each other? so no, it’s not weird / embarrassing / bad to want conversation in a place literally built around shared obsession and shared joy.
something that also really matters when it comes to feedback is what phase a fandom is in. there are really popular, hyped fandoms that will always get way more interaction, and there are fandoms that are much quieter. every fandom has a golden era, and when it passes, people slowly move on, and that plays a huge role in lowering feedback.
a lot of the guilt around this comes from the idea that we’re supposed to be completely self-sufficient artists who don’t need anyone. but that’s kind of a lie. writing can be personal, i agree, but fandom writing is still relational. wanting comments or any kind of response isn’t something you should be ashamed of, i assure you. again, people are social, and we all want to find a place where we belong and feel appreciated. even if you’re introverted, it doesn’t erase the basic need for connection or acknowledgement. commenting and leaving feedback has always helped creators stay active in that fandom. it motivates people and makes them want to share more. i’ve seen a lot of authors leave fandoms because of the lack of interaction, and i understand them. it just wears you down over time.
as for deleting fics, i think it can be both a right and a wrong decision, depending on the situation.
it can feel right if that’s truly what you need. like if looking at that work only triggers you or makes you feel really bad, then it’s completely valid to want to get rid of it. but sometimes it also happens in the heat of emotions, and later you end up regretting it. i don’t really have exact advice here, because everyone copes with this differently and reacts in their own way.
i’d suggest waiting a bit before deleting. letting emotions cool down. speaking for experience, sometimes distance changes how a fic feels, and something that felt embarrassing today might feel neutral or even fond later. if not, deleting is still your right, after all it's your work.
about attention and numbers specifically, i think it helps to separate worth from visibility. a fic not getting comments doesn’t mean it didn’t matter. it often just means wrong timing /quiet fandom phase / busy months / people being tired, anxious or just silently consuming. a lot of readers are lurkers. some don’t know what to say but still care deeply. and i know i know, unfortunately, silence looks the same no matter the reason. but some readers genuinely don’t realise how much comments matter to writers or artists. ofc that doesn’t erase the hurt, but it does explain why the lack of response isn’t always about the quality of your work.
also what can help is lowering the pressure around posting. it’s okay to take breaks. it’s okay to step back from a fandom if it starts making you feel anxious or bad. fandom should be a place that gives you joy, not just drains you. if you're interested, you can join other fandoms, if not, that's okay too. you can also find friends among other writers by commenting on their fic first. sometimes authors notice you, and later check out your work too.
you can also always be be honest in author notes before or after the fic. cuz i don't see how saying things like “comments are appreciated” or “i’d love to hear your thoughts” are counted as begging or smth bad.