Employee takes company stapler on a wild vacation
taylor price
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YOU ARE THE REASON

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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#extradirty
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@datadotbass
Employee takes company stapler on a wild vacation
my life is falling apart faster than a nature valley granola bar
titty time
“You never loved me”
I’m kinda disappointed with my life but I really don’t know what to do about it. lol
Tomorrow I have to wake up and go tell my best friend to stay in jail for the next five years so he won’t get 20. I want to fucking cry I miss him so much.
I laminated a paper towel
why does this have 31 thousand notes
You made it useless but also prevented it from the end it was predestined for.
But wait this is actually freaking me out though, it raises so many questions about the otherwise incomprehensible meaning of life as a collective whole versus personal sustenance and longevity
Imagine if one day you were given a choice: Become immortal and indestructible for eternity, unable to be harmed by anything ever again, and get to live forever.
However, in order to achieve that you must give up whatever your purpose in life is. Whatever it is that you were always meant to do, what you were supposed to contribute to the overall scheme and future of the life of the universe, your purpose… the whole reason you were even created, even born in the first place. You must give that up. You don’t know what that is. You’ll never know; But, regardless, you say yes.
Perhaps you assume you wouldn’t have made any sort of significant difference anyway. That butterfly effect theory or whatever they call it? Nah, you call bullshit. It doesn’t matter - you don’t matter, at least not to anything outside of your immediate connections - and it’ll all be fine, and you’ll just live forever with minimal (or maybe even no) consequences.
So, yay! You’re now immortal. You’ll never die or get hurt ever again. Wee!
But then, centuries and centuries later (not to mention that by this point you’ve gone through horrible heartbreak and misery and despair because every loved one you ever had, every friend you ever made, ever person you barely got to know, has passed away, died as you lived on long without them, helpless to do anything for them as you watched them perish, unable to ever go with them or ever see them again. But I digress), now, you learn you actually were important in the grand scheme of things. You were supposed to be a key factor in the world’s survival, long ago; but, because of the choice you made (immortality over individual purpose), you were never given the knowledge or awareness or resources or ability to save the world that you were always supposed to obtain, before you unknowingly made the wrongest choice to ever wrong.
Needless to say, you’ve fucked up big time.
The entire universe as we know it is destroyed soon after this horrifying revelation. It implodes, collapses in on itself, essentially forming a massive black hole or something. Stars, nebulae, galaxies, solar systems and planets, worlds and worlds of living people and things, and light-years of time and space and life, all sucked up into absolute, indefinite nothingness.
But you remain.
Just you. Floating amongst, spiraling around, rocketing through, suspended in… nothing. With a feeling of such unbelievable loneliness that your feeble brain can hardly perceive, can’t possibly hope to comprehend. Not only are you the only living thing left, you don’t even have one inanimate object to keep you company. You have literally. Nothing. And you are literally nowhere. I mean, technically, you are now the universe - if it would bring you petty comfort to think about it that way. You. Only you. With nothing, no one, nowhere. Forever. And ever. And ever.
All because you thought you didn’t matter. That you had no real, meaningful purpose. That you could never possibly make a difference.
But you did. And now look what you’ve gotten yourself into, you silly nugget. You’re gonna be pretty bored and lonely for that eternity, huh?
Or maybe it was out of selfishness. Maybe this wasn’t because you felt useless, but because you simply only cared about prolonging your own life and nothing else. Hm.
The moral here? Be selfless, and always know and remember that you matter.
Or else, one day, you might destroy the universe. And be left to suffer, and be tortured horribly and endlessly by the void of nothingness that has consumed you. With no way to escape. Ever.
Other moral because I got sidetracked from my initial point - all things considered, would you choose longevity over purpose? Immortality over meaning?
OR, IDK, MAYBE SOME IDIOT JUST LAMINATED A STUPID PIECE OF PAPER TOWEL FOR NO GOOD REASON
AND MAYBE I SHOULDNT BE LOOKING FOR THE ANSWERS TO THE MEANING OF OUR SHORT, FRAGILE LIVES IN
A LAMINATED
PAPER
T OW E L
IDK MAN,
I D K
Write. A. Book.
What if I did write a book
and the pages of that book
were made out of
laminated
paper towels
I WASNT GONNA REBLOG UNTIL THAT LAST COMMENT
This messed me up.
Write a book
can we make it a Youtube challenge for them to remake their first video with their improved editing skills. Like make it to the quality they thought it was when they posted it.
i think the amount of notes this has makes it count as a ‘good idea’ and i once again suggest it
danisnotonfire ??? WE NEED IT
9pm: "I'm going to bed now."
10pm: "I'm going to bed now."
11pm: "I'm going to bed now."
12am: "I'm going to bed now."
1am: "I'm going to bed now."
2am: "I'm going to bed now."
3am: "FUCK."
4am: "FUCK."
5am: "OKAY."
so today, my friend Tyler went to Publix. he noticed that there was a promotional sale for Sun Drop, because like no one here buys it, and they were selling them for like almost 6 cents a bottle.
so naturally, Tyler bought 600 bottles.
it took 3 cars to transport all of the Sun Drop, and he currently has 70 in his garage, 70 in his room, and the rest is stored at another friend’s house.
without the discounts, his purchase would have added up to $935.
he spent $34
hes the guy we learn about in math
so naturally, Tyler bought 600 bottles.
*takes gulp of vodka straight from the bottle* my day was fine
Actually I love how I can say “I understand shit” and “I understand shit” and it can both mean “I understand everything” and “I understand nothing” English slang is horrific and if you’re not a native English speaker good luck this language is ridiculous
God I missed talking to you so much.
Ugh.
ITS TAKEN ME 14 YEARS BUT I’VE JUST REALISED LORD FARQUAAD WAS A PLAY ON WORDS AND THAT HE IS ACTUALLY LORD FUCKWAD
WHAT THE HELL DREAMWORKS
That whole entire series of movies was full of adult references that all of us are only realizing now because we aren’t 8 anymore.
This changes everything
HOLY SHIT, IT WAS THE ORIGINAL ONE
MAKE A WISH
the first post ever on tumblr
this was why they put the reblog button on the bottom of posts
I THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SEE LINDSAY LOHAN OR SOME SHIT WOW
Always reblog because perfection.
I was waiting for the stupid patrick thing but yay the real post. love it.
This is sacred
it is very rare to see the original
This is awesome. I was waiting for Benedict Cumberbatch or someone. This is really fucking cool
ALWAYS REBLOG THE ORIGINAL ONE
i was waiting for dickbutt tbh
This made me smile
this is my first encounter; this is life!