Happy truce @ectospacecadet ! Apologies for being somewhat late in the posting time, hopefully you still enjoy a little fic (though all your prompts were cool! I just was not cool enough to manage em all ahhaha)
You can read the fic here or on Ao3
He should have known Vlad wasn’t actually planning to really help him out. This was just his dumb idea of revenge for daring to skip out on horrible lasagna night.
“This isn’t training, Vlad.”
The smug grin on the man’s face did not budge. “Of course it is! We have hand eye coordination, arm exercises and of course timing.” The absurd pink apron did not help his point at all. “Considering you collapse when you overextend yourself, if you can’t even handle this sort of training it would be irresponsible to do anything more stressful!”
“That’s just because you suck at making clone bodies. That’s not my fault.” He really, really should have tried to ask Dani how she fixed Vlad’s screwup. Not that it would have helped him really. Dani wasn’t like him, just had a few annoying things in common. Which was the story of his life lately.
“My boy, that’s what I mean by overextending yourself. You need to figure out how to live comfortably with what you have.” Vlad ignored his grumbling to set out more bowls across the countertop.
“Oh please. Like you even know how to do that.” He ignored the offered apron, but stomped off to wash his hands. The only thing that could make this worse would be getting some stupid disease after. Which he still might. Vlad was not a good cook, by any metric. Danny wasn’t either, but he at least had the excuse of being fourteen. Unlike the billionaire.
“I’m working on it.”
“Bet you haven’t even taken all the cameras out of the Fenton house.” The boy grinned as Vlad looked away. Busted. He’d save that for the next time he needed to distract Danny. “What are you even making?”
“We are making whatever we want.” The older man’s stressing on the word ‘we’ made the boy roll his eyes. “I figured a chicken dish would be more to your taste but we have other proteins thawed in the refrigerator too.”
“So if I said roasted chickpeas that’s all going to waste.”
“They could be a side dish. What else?”
“I don’t know! Broccoli?” It was the first thing that came to mind, even if half of his mind was protesting. “Eating is still weird, okay?”
“Oh, I know an amazing cheese sauce that goes with broccoli-“
“I know you do! You don’t need to tell me!”
Vlad did pause at that. Not long, but enough to make the room feel awkward. “Right. I don’t really know how much of my memories you have up there.”
“Neither do I.” Sometimes it was obvious where a memory or feeling came from in the demented smoothie of his brain, but a lot of the time it wasn’t. “But I’m not Danny.”
“I know that.” Vlad had turned his attention to some large oven trays- apparently he did mean to make anything the newly human time fugitive wanted.
“Do you?” His red eyes narrowed, tossing some broccoli out of the fridge, harder than strictly necessary.
“Yes, I am very aware. Daniel wouldn’t know how to tie that tie, as poorly as you’ve done it.”
“This is fashion. Which you haven’t seen in over twenty years.” That, and he was pretty sure it drove Vlad nuts. Which was a nice bonus.
“Green and red is not fashionable, I don’t care how often you say it is.”
“It goes with the black shirt, the jacket is separate.”
“What do you want that isn’t broccoli or chickpeas?” Vlad seemed to admit defeat as he focused on drying off the canned chickpeas. He wasn’t doing it well, considering the oven had already loudly declared it was up to heat, with more than half still soaking wet.
“You pick something.” Since he didn’t really want anything. At least the knife made a satisfying thunk as it hit the cutting board. None of this was really tempting. Ten years without eating kind of turned off any interest in it.
“Lemon garlic chicken? Or is even that too ‘exciting’ for you?”
“Whatever.” Vlad might not screw that up. This whole farce was embarrassing. Measuring bits of oil and seasoning in little spoons was not training. Putting vegetables on pans was not exercising. Part of him almost wanted this useless prison body to seize up and freeze on him- to prove him right, to show Vlad it was his own faulty work that this flesh bag couldn’t hold on to the roaring power of his true ghostly self.
It didn’t though. So long as he played pathetic baby playhouse, it didn’t hurt. It wasn’t comfortable either, but he wasn’t twitching on the ground like when he dared to run for even a few moments. If this was all he could ever do, for the rest of his life, he’d go absolutely insane. This wasn’t who he was. Of course, who he was, wasn’t allowed to exist. He couldn’t even get too angry without this useless flesh punishing him.
“I think you’ve chopped the broccoli enough to make it a soup, my boy.” Vlad’s comment tore him out of his own head. Oops.
“Just to make sure you can chew it, old man.”
“Very funny. What were you thinking about?”
Nothing he was willing to talk to Vlad about. He could think of a decent lie though. “Oh, just wondering when you’d decide I’m not Danny enough and try to kill me.”
That threw idiot ponytail man, but not in the way he expected. He expected a shout, some red eyes and a fanged snarl. Not a light hand on the shoulder. “That is not going to happen. I am not going to just give up on you like that.” Reassuring, warm.
Fake as all get out. “Oh really? Because I’m pretty sure you had your chance at this already and threw it away!” His heart burned, a warning. That maybe he cared a little too much about the clone he met. “That you didn’t have Danny- but something close and that still wasn’t good enough for you!”
Vlad at least had the sense to let go of his shoulder and move away. To go stare at the half oiled chickpeas and partially packaged chicken breasts. To get back to working on two unfinished steps.
But the lack of answer just irritated him more. “So? Am I wrong?” He slammed the glass bowl of lemon juice down, half expecting it to fracture from the impact. It held. His strength was so much less, now.
“That was another mistake. I know I’ve made many.” Vlad’s voice was quiet, still refusing to rise to his bait. “I didn’t know Daniel told you about that.”
“He didn’t.” His voice was almost a growl. “Both of you thought I wouldn’t need to know that, it seems. Like I wouldn’t question why you’d taken up cloning. Or wonder if you had more than empty shells running around.” He wished he had his claws, or at least a hint of power to lash out with. “I’m not stupid.”
“I didn’t say you were.”
“Yeah, you just hoped I was. So you could pretend you didn’t have even more to fix.” His leg shuddered under him, threatening to give out but the counter was there to cling to.
Vlad took a breath and held it, pretending to not notice how the boy stumbled. “It’s something that will take more time, I didn’t want to add more for you to adjust to. You have enough going on without adding another clone into the mix.”
“Yeah, because I totally didn’t need to know about your love of melting down people in your care that you stop wanting.” Especially since he was pretty sure no one could want him around. It was all fake. Not that he wanted it. He was above that sort of thing.
“Well if there’s anything else you want to know about, we can discuss it.”
This would be so much easier if they could just fight. Instead of having Vlad put on his stupid business man face and pretend there wasn’t fiery rage in his blood. “Whatever. I’m done.”
“I don’t know what you want, I can’t just fix everything immediately-“ A hint of exasperation poked out of Vlad’s calm façade.
“I don’t want anything! I don’t care about you, and I don’t care about playing house like you’ve changed!” He ignored how his limbs shook and shouldered his way out the door. “Just leave me alone.”
Vlad didn’t follow him, at least. Something expensive crunched in the kitchen, but that was all.
Which was good. He couldn’t take much more of that conversation. Maybe the old man would get the hint and just give him some space. Or hurry up and get to the part where he proves all of this is just a detour, that he doesn’t actually want to be ‘better’. At least then he gets to be right. Doesn’t need to think about Dani, or what a new family might be like. So long as it all stays fake.
Which it will. He knows what Vlad is really like, after all.
Now that the zine has been out long enough I can share the fic I wrote for it publicly! You can read it on Ao3 (alongside two other fics in this AU) or below c:
“This is it, I’m dead. Beyond dead. Double dead.”
Ignoring how the other boy was doing his best to push his face through the table, Tucker only laughed. “Danny, you’re a demon. If you were dead, you’d be a ghost.”
“Weren't you bragging about being impossible to get rid of literally yesterday?” Sam added, grinning when Danny looked up just enough to glare at her. “Thought so.”
“For humans, sure! Not for my parents to get rid of!”
Tucker’s easygoing demeanor quickly slid away as he scooched closer for a hug. “What about your parents?”
“The ones that just left you trapped with that monster? For years?” Sam asked.
Danny gave a low groan, the tips of his pale fingers digging into his scalp. Literally, thanks to the unexpected claws in his human skin. “Yeah.”
Sam scowled, fingers curling into fists. “I could take ‘em.”
“No you couldn’t.” Tucker cut in. Danny’s parents were demons. They were two idiot teenagers that accidentally gave a demon not only part of their souls, but one of his own. Their best ploy was ‘beg Danny’s big scary sibling to bail them out’ in the grand scheme of things.
“I’d still try, you coward.”
“You shouldn’t. Then you’d just be dead.” Danny’s quiet mumble cut through their squabbling. “I don’t want that.”
Sam and Tucker shared a look. Danny was getting better at expressing their friendship, but he could still be standoffish. Like a ‘proper’ demon would be. Outright worrying for their safety he saved for actual danger. “What’s going on, anyway?”
“I don’t know! They never care about what I’m doing. They must have found out. They’re going to kill me. No, no, they’ll torture me for like five years, and kill you guys, and make me watch, and then they’ll kill me. Or worse.”
“Danny, you gotta breathe when you’re human.”
Spite made him want to refuse Sam's advice, but his lungs overpowered his foolish attempt. “Human bodies are stupid.”
“Smart enough to keep a demon from doing something idiotic to kill it.”
They were trying to make him feel better, obviously. Even though that was impossible. Didn’t they get how totally doomed he was? He groaned, letting his head flop on the table.
“If we’re not allowed to beat them up, how do we help? Since you’re not running off and getting killed on my watch,” Sam said.
“You can’t! There’s nothing, okay? I’m nothing, and they’re everything,” Danny snapped. “You were terrified of my sister, and she’s nothing compared to them! We’re little underlings, not like humans! We’re not all separate like you are!”
“I want to encourage you and stuff, but I guess you know more about demons than we do?” Tucker said, wincing when Sam glowered at him for ‘caving’ to Danny’s fears. “Why can’t we just summon you back? You have to answer, right?”
Danny groaned again, louder. Did he really have to explain everything? “You don’t seriously think two untrained humans can overpower summonings from millennia-old demons that literally created me.”
“Well, no, but—” Tucker’s protests died under Danny’s glare.
“Tucker just cares about you and wants to help. Don’t be catty about it,” Sam said, stepping between them. “Maybe demons let their friends suffer, but humans at least try to help. Even if we aren’t sure it’ll work.”
“I know that. If you do that this time, you'll just get killed!”
“Well, if you think of anything, we’re game to try it?”
Why didn’t they understand that his parents would kill them without even blinking? Denial? Some human need to just blather pointless sympathies? “If you summon me and nothing happens, don’t keep trying. I’ll respond when I can.”
Which would probably be never. That part wasn’t sticking though, so he decided to stop mentioning it.
“Why, does it hurt or something if you can’t come right away?”
Considering the low, constant tugging at the back of his neck? The clear, obvious sign he was being looked for and expected to show up? Which he was ignoring, by cheating with something no demon should ever have? “Something like that, yeah.”
If his parents weren’t so old and what Jazz called ‘temporally challenged’, ignoring their demands could have the human world suddenly enduring a hellish invasion. Which no one wanted. “I need to get going. Don’t do some stupid human thing.”
“You think everything is a ‘stupid human thing’.”
“And I’m right.” He didn’t give them a chance to argue, shifting into his body of shadows and vanishing as the infernal pull became too strong to resist.
–
A fretting, flaming sibling was not what he expected to see when he cracked open his green eyes. The massive feathered beast nearly torched the gold beams that supported the cavernous ceiling, her pacing crossing vast distances in seconds.
“What did you do?!” Jazz zeroed in on the blot of shadows against the tiles, her mane a roiling sea of flame as her many eyes stared at the curling darkness around him.
“Nothing? That’s sort of my thing,” Phantom couldn’t help but snap. The humans being dumb was one thing. His sister knew better! “Duh?”
Her fire dimmed to a flickering candle strength, but it didn’t keep Jazz from nudging his tiny body behind her massive talons in protection, as she often did when they were much, much younger. “I am just worried. They never seek to see both of us anymore.”
“Or me, at all. Ever.”
“Phantom.”
“What? Divine my truth, observer of all knowledge!”
Jazz rolled five eyes at his attempted snark. “When did those humans teach you that blustering is a good way to show you are upset?”
“It’s to show I’m not afraid.”
“Then I am ‘afraid’ that you are terrible at it, little brother.”
Phantom muttered under his breath, wriggling to get out from under her. That wouldn’t help with their parents. “So you didn’t rat me out?”
Her mane was no longer alight as she lowered her head, her face filling his field of view like a great blue moon. “I would never betray you.”
He could never admit some of his lingering terror was smoothed away with Jazz’s promise and warm feathers. Orange, from his father, was terrifying. From her though, it was safe. Even with her deadly claws, she’d never hurt even one of his bright white hairs when trying to comfort him.
“Have you been waiting long?” he asked.
That earned a musical chuckle as Jazz cuddled him close. “You need to define long. As humans tell time, perhaps?”
“Well I have two humans who get all out of sorts really fast, so yeah.”
“A week and a day. The throne and lounge remain spotless. No notes, either.”
“Wow, love being dragged down here when they aren’t even present. So courteous.” He spoke flippantly, but was already scanning every corner, his ears half lowered in case the rebuke was loud.
Nothing. So they really weren’t being observed at all?
“If we’re lucky, they just want to show off some new conquest. Or new siblings. Or they might bother to talk about that time you went ‘missing’, I suppose.” Jazz spoke more to herself than him, a habit she’d never managed to break.
“Pretty sure they swore off any more spawn after the last disaster.”
“You are not a disaster.”
Phantom bit one of her toes. She didn’t flinch, or really seem to notice. “You are being rude, though.”
“Pretty good proof I wasn’t what anyone wanted, though. Watch out! He might bore you to death with his inability to do anything! Such a good use of royal energy, that thing.”
“Just because they are not present does not mean you need to do their job for them.”
Getting scooped up and dumped on her back didn’t make him feel any less helpless and pathetic, but he just sighed. There wasn’t any reason for Jazz to keep lying to make him ‘feel better’ about being the most worthless creature ever spawned. She always insisted on it though. Like if some creature of knowledge and cunning kept stating it, kept believing it, it would force the universe to make it true. If only.
Part of him wanted to yank a good bit of hair out, a petty little action for a petty little creature. All his energy to do so was sucked right out of the room as one of the massive torches flickered once, twice, and then seemed to twist—visible and not. Then all the light was devoured by an unseen maw.
Phantom could only shrink and tremble as the room went pitch black. Jazz didn’t shake like he did, she wasn’t some cowardly infant, but he could feel her muscles tense under his shaky claws. Phantom flattened his ears and shut his eyes as the horrid crunch of stone against bone bellowed in the darkness from all sides, a flat heavy pounding following.
His parents were never subtle about approaching. They could just make a portal and slide through silently! He’d seen it! But no, they had to rip through realities one at a time, destroying as they went. To make a point. To remind everyone how strong they were. How no being could compare.
Though his eyes were squeezed shut, he could feel the darkness retracting, yanking his curling shadows away with it as he struggled to keep his body together. His tail twisted at the unexpected pain. Not many things could easily drag a darkness he was in away like that. Had it been an accident, or did they just forget he wasn’t made of much more than the absence of light?
“Children! So good to behold the both of you again!” Their father’s roar felt loud enough to crack great columns of marble in its wake. Phantom just tried to be even smaller as his ears burned.
Jazz stooped into a deep bow, grand talons splayed as her wings remained folded tightly, mostly obscuring Phantom from view. “Of course. We are honoured to take even some of your time.” Her voice was strong and confident, lacking even a trace of her prior worry when they’d still been alone. “For what reason did you summon us, and how may we serve?”
Jazz really did know all the right things to say. Sure, he knew he should be contributing too—but it was just easier to let her do it. Keeping his head down should count as being differential enough, probably.
“Stand. You do not need to be so formal with us, sweetheart!”
Phantom slowly cracked his eyes open, his mother’s kind tone settling some fears. Neither of them were starting out angry, so maybe they really didn’t know? The massive, serpent-like demon and his gaudy orange scales practically filled the room—even if the bulk of his father was settled on his mountainous lounge. Danny couldn’t look at him long; everywhere he looked was different. Some scales were caked with barnacles and the wear and tear of deep underseas, before suddenly becoming embossed with gold and jewels without any break in between, before flickering with the gleams of flame and magma. He was such a massive demon that he simply left parts of himself in different environments instead of altering his whole form to fit wherever he wished to be.
There was a reason the humans sometimes called him ‘Leviathan’. A world serpent. The end of days.
There was a reason Phantom was a complete embarrassment when that sort of power resided in just one parent. When his mother was just as fearsome, as subtle as his father was not, and he was still this useless.
“Well, I could not assume it was not a formal matter. You did not say why we were to come,” Jazz insisted, even as she stood back to her full height. A towering, impressive height—when their father didn’t make her look like a chicken in comparison.
“Neither of us is skilled in mind reading, either,” Phantom said, quietly. It was a reckless sort of comment—but surely they’d take it as him downplaying their abilities and not as the ‘sarcasm’ his human friends introduced him to.
“A long overdue occasion. Though a happy one, we admit.”
Phandom ducked at his mother’s voice, his eyes searching but unable to see her. It was easier to find her in the crevices in the world—a being watching and waiting. Slim, insectoid, and almost impossible to even stitch together in a real ‘form.’ Even trying to perceive his mother made his head pound and eyes itch.
“My dear sibling’s regained freedom, perhaps?” Jazz’s question was short and sharp, and made Phantom dig his claws in her fur. What was she doing?
“What do you mean?”
He stopped digging his claws in. Seriously?!
Jazz took that as permission to continue. “The unjust imprisonment he was suffering? At the hands of wicked Fae, that schemed to make him into one of their mindless fawning familiars?” She paused, just for a moment as her flames flickered a bit too brightly before dulling again. “The imprisonment I personally had to discover and thwart?”
There was no anger. No, instead the great orange beast laughed. “Oh! That! No, no. Nothing to do with that.”
“Why?” He shouldn’t have asked. In that little human heart of his, he knew exactly why.
“You are being unclear again, dear.” So gentle, so kind as he felt countless eyes peering between every gap in his shadowy form. He wanted to twist and squirm.
“I believe he means ‘why’ did you not deign to rescue him from Fae hands, or at least delegate the task to me.”
Phantom nodded, haltingly. He sure felt a lot like ‘Danny’ right now—but he couldn’t be that. Not right now, not here. They had every right to abandon him for his failure at existing.
“Why would we? He knows he should not have been where he was caught, and caused more tension with another family.”
He curled in tighter from the accusation, feeling the vague disdain the voice did not betray—but he could sense it from how his mother was looking at him. Jazz’s mane flared up again, and he couldn't let her do something stupid over him, of all things. “I am thankful you allowed my sibling to rescue me.”
“See! Even he understands! Really, the proper thing would have been to forbid you from going to the Fae’s land, but we can hardly be responsible for your silly, undirected actions.” The rumbling laugh of their father made the watching leer lessen, even if Jazz’s mane still simmered a little too high for her to be ‘calm.’
Jazz closed her eyes as her talons slowly stopped digging into shattered tile. “Well, not much has happened since that incident. What is the occasion?”
Right. What good thing could possibly have happened since then? He hadn’t done anything. Jazz probably did something impressive, but he didn’t get called for those things anymore. Sort of took away from the aura of achievement when a speck of a demon who hadn’t done anything worth recognizing in centuries was there.
“Did you not tell your sibling, little one?”
So it was him? They didn’t know about the human thing, right? They couldn’t. Surely. He tried to stop being so folded over himself, but loosening his curls betrayed how he was shaking. “Or, she forgot. She’s much busier than me!” Stalling for time, he could manage. Praising Jazz was pretty much all he was good for, even if it didn’t mean anything.
“True. This is overdue, after all.” Their father shifted into a more upright, regal position. Though, the more formal atmosphere just made Phantom more uneasy. “Our little embodiment of the void.”
“Of the vast nothing that awaits all things. The unknown emptiness that is everywhere, but nowhere.”
Oh. They never used that title anymore. He never ‘earned’ the right to be called what he’d been made of. He was nothing, alright. Just a very unimpressive, unthreatening nothing. They barely even bothered to call him Phantom, lately.
“We’re so proud you finally managed to trick a human out of their soul.”
He blinked. He didn’t actually do that. He stole two halves and sort of accidentally made one new one? That was his? Instead of correcting them, he nodded, forcing himself to relax. Of course he was worried over nothing! “Thank you. For remembering when I took so long to do so.”
“Of course we would, small one! Just as your sibling did—hm. How long ago was that now?”
“Too long ago to remember, I think.” Phantom didn’t need to hear exactly how defective he was.
“Congratulations, little brother.” Jazz’s voice was genuine, even though she already knew the truth of it.
“Now we would usually spend more time, but you are both old enough to not need the extra attention. We still wished to acknowledge it, and encourage further progress.”
“Of course. Thank you.”
The pressure in the room lessened in seconds as their parents exited with much less fanfare than their entrance.
It left behind fury in his little shadowy body. That he barely mattered, that the source of his terror was just a formality. He should be happy! In some ways he was, with the stress finally out of him. It just left too much space for this stupid, undeserved anger to move in. He said it himself: demon parents were not like human ones.
“At least my soul didn’t register as mine to them?”
“Thankfully. I had no idea what we would do if they actually noticed.”
He couldn’t help letting out a little laugh. Jazz was nuts to even think about trying to protect him if that happened. “I’d run.”
“Probably the wisest plan. I assume you’ll be headed back to those humans of yours?”
“Yeah.” He’d have to make sure not to be too obvious to Sam and Tucker how much more comfortable their world was becoming for him. They’d never let him live it down.
“Be safe.”
Though at least he did have someone on his side, down here.
Being human again sucks. This whole 'second chance' thing is more frustrating than anything.
Especially when certain 'all powerful' ghosts start asking you for favours to deal with other time headaches!
It's not worth it. Maybe this whole thing was a mistake.
Yet apparently this other 'headache' knows a thing or two about being a useless, broken reflection of something better.
-
It's Invisobang season once again and I've teamed up with @cookietastic this year! Make sure you check out the amazing cover they did for this fic!
You can read the first chapter below or here on A03
Okay, so he might have done a little grand theft body on an unspeakably powerful ghost, broke time so badly that an entire timeline got rewritten and managed to get a stupid old man to feel bad enough to get him a new, living body- but that didn’t mean he owed anyone a favour.
Certainly not the ghost whose body and powers he borrowed for a little bit. That was his own fault. If he could see all of time, he had no excuse to not see that whole little incident coming!
Yet here he was anyway. Scowling at his too scrawny arms instead of the purple cloaked ghost. Sure, ignoring the guy who literally just stopped all of time around you wouldn’t accomplish anything- but he was stuck in this stupid kid body again. He was allowed to be petty. He was owed it.
“We can theoretically wait forever, if that is what you want.” Clockwork’s statement did nothing to improve his mood.
“Seems like a waste of your powers.”
“In comparison to the rips and tears across time, this doesn’t even register.”
Clockwork just loved to be infuriating, didn’t he? Why couldn’t he just get a hint and go away? Show off. It wasn’t like the time powers were that impressive anyway. More painful and disorienting.
Waiting out a literal master of time did seem pretty impossible though. He only had so much patience for this. “Okay! Fine! What do you want?”
Clockwork’s smirk was so smug that it made Phantom want to punch it right off his face. “I have a job you are well suited for. Before you start yelling, it is a paid sort of job. I am not expecting your help for nothing in return.”
Phantom let out a mutter, he was going to instantly say no to being a free time monkey. So of course Clockwork wouldn’t even let him do that. Future looking cheater of a ghost. “Like you’d pay in anything useful.”
“I could move time more swiftly on that new human body of yours. I’ve heard you are not pleased about being sixteen again?”
The perfect sort of bribe. So this job had to be super unfair, or impossible, or some trick to get him disposed of yet again. “So what if I’m not? If you actually cared you’d just help instead of taunting me.”
“I can only use my powers so sparingly. However, if you solved a problem I was unable to resolve, I can easily justify why you should be able to make use of the time I did not use.”
Or age him into being totally dead. That seemed like a Clockwork thing to do. Meddler. “If you need some hero, why aren’t you bothering Danny?”
“Danny wouldn’t have the right skills for this.”
Ah. “So you want someone dead? Need some temporal attack dog?”
The look wasn’t disgust. Yet Clockwork dared to look concerned about his completely reasonable assumption. “No. I would not ask that of you.”
“Like I have skills Danny doesn’t that aren’t murder related?” He rolled his eyes as his scowl deepened. Half of his abilities didn’t work quite right after getting this new body. He felt as weak as he looked lately, and having some time ghost mock him about it was not appreciated.
“You might think you don’t, but you do. You’ve experienced more.”
“Experienced a lot of revenge, sure. But you aren’t looking for those skills, apparently.”
“What it’s like to lose everything. What can happen if you choose to lash out just to feel something. What does not help fill a void.”
If Clockwork was trying to play therapist he was going to throw something. “Knowing how that feels doesn’t actually do anything!”
“Would you recommend desperately fleeing your feelings and drowning them in the blood of a world you feel abandoned you?”
Phantom wished he could scowl even deeper. “Well no. It didn’t work.”
“Then your experience has given you a perspective not many will have.” Clockwork’s tone was strangely warm, and it made his skin itch. “All I am asking is for you to talk to someone. Even if they do not listen to you, your part of the deal will be done.”
That sounded way too generous. Maybe Clockwork figured out he was the worst at this convincing thing. “Still sounds like a pipsqueak job.”
“You have more in common with them than Danny does. He wouldn’t understand like you might.”
Clockwork better not be on some redeeming time criminals kick. Or you know what? Sure! Whatever! The weird ghost could have a hobby so long as he didn’t get dragged into it. “That’s it? No extra gotcha at the end?”
“Yes. Their temporal prison is giving me quite the migraine, if you talked them into getting out of it I’ll be quite grateful.”
A prisoner? Clockwork wanted to get someone out of a time prison? Well that explained things, he was practically an expert at that now. So why dress it up like talking is the important part? “One jailbreak for one ticket to twenty years old? That’s your deal?”
“You get your ‘ticket’ even if you cannot do the jailbreak part. I just need you to try to get them to think about leaving.” Clockwork stated again, a hint of exhaustion escaping as if repeating himself was difficult.
Which sounded like a lie. Better to just assume it was. “Fine. Deal. But you better not think I’ll just be your gopher again!”
“This way, then.” Clockwork’s arm swept out from his cloak as a slowly swirling portal appeared, a strange grey tint making it hard to tell it was meant to be blue.
“So how do I make a portal back when I’m done?” He scowled, the time master knew he couldn’t rip his own way back anymore.
“I will when you ask. Or when it sounds like you require one.”
“Anyone tell you that you’re a creepy stalker, Clockwork?”
The non committal shrug he got in return didn’t tell him much, but he didn’t want to admit he was afraid. If this was a trap, and it reeked of one, he didn’t have any real ability to get out of it. Sure he could curse Clockwork about it, but that wouldn’t free him if he was walking into a new prison.
So just in case this portal he was walking into was just a big trap he kept one arm back as he walked, flipping Clockwork the bird the whole way through.
Hello @datawyrms! Your Phandom Truce fic is (finally) here. This is way darker than your original prompt probably intended and for that I’m sorry. I hope you enjoy and had a good holiday season. And @phandomholidaytruce, thanks so much for hosting.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Hey @katphantom69 ! Happy Truce. Hopefully you enjoy Vlad uh. Trying very hard to turn over some new leaves with some other ghostly friends :v It's all on AO3 HERE or we've got it all under the read more c:
“When you promised me an alliance that would change the status quo, I expected better than this .” Even if the ghost lacked a complete face, the gauntlet jabbing at the delicate cheese platter filled in the gaps. “This is your idea of great change and terror?”
“Eh. You might scare one of those lactose intolerant humans.” Skulker gave a smirk as the knight seemed to grow even more infuriated, flames bursting from his helmet.
“No! Do you know how many of those flock to cheese?! It is as if they think it is a dare!”
“It is for snacking.” Vlad let out a long sigh, trying to ignore the ache already starting to settle behind his eyes. “Nor are we talking about terror today.”
“Then this is a tedious waste of my time!”
“Oh, because you do so much! Slumbering in a pumpkin all year, while I, TECHNUS-”
“Skulker, I paid you to find people interested in attending. Not literally any ghost you could find!”
“They were all very interested in no longer getting shot at in return for attending. I don’t see the problem.” Skulker’s smirk only grew as the half ghost’s fingers started digging into his hair.
This whole ‘trying to be a better person’ thing was not worth it. It would be so much easier to just shoot that smirk off that metal face- or better yet remove his entire head. Really, he probably would just do that if he didn’t have the sneaking suspicion there was some sort of bet going on to who could irritate him the most!
So he had to settle for taking another deep breath. “We’re here to talk about constructive ways to fulfill a purpose. Ways that won’t get you tossed back in the Ghost Zone by an irritated teenager.”
“Well, if I could just skin the teenager we’d solve both problems-”
“Skulker, if you keep this up, I’ll have him send you back without your suit!” Vlad can’t quite keep the pink energy from gathering around his hands, but forces it to disperse.
“Why do you even care? You’re the one who suited up another teenager to kill him! Who of course, ABANDONED your WORTHLESS tech once she had a taste of REAL POWER designed by-”
The half ghost had to cut in before Technus really got his ramble on. “Why did you let her keep that, anyway?”
Technus’ rant stopped in its tracks, the scientist somehow at a loss. “Well. I was somewhat distracted with taking over the world-”
“Which failed.”
“WHICH WAS PUT ON THE BACKBURNER- and well uh. I couldn’t get control back from the suit? My genius was so great it outsmarted even ME-”
“Another stupid accident then. Wonderful.” Vlad muttered. As if it would be anything else. Half of his life seemed like an absurd accident. “How about instead of taking over the world, you could just go to a library? They have computers now.”
“Do they?” Technus actually seemed to be considering it for a moment, before shaking his head “It might not be as much fun as causing WORLD WIDE TECHNICAL TERROR though?”
“Where did you even get the idea it would be fun?”
“Says the evil overshadowing billionaire.” Skulker chimed in, earning another glare.
“Oh that’s easy! It was the ghost child’s idea! He’s very clever sometimes!”
He was going to scream. Of course it was Daniel’s fault! Why wouldn’t it be! He probably just spouted off something stupid his parents said and oops, now the inventor ghost has a world takeover hobby! Great! Thank you so much for this extra hassle!
“I am not changing anything.” Fright Knight’s ‘helpful’ contribution at least got Vlad out of his own head for a moment.
“What, you can’t get people afraid without the threat of death?”
That just got the Fright Knight on his feet and brandishing the Soul Shredder, instead of anything useful. “Are you insinuating my fear is lackluster?”
“No, he’s calling you lazy!” Skulker started cackling as the knight rounded on him, pumpkin already in hand. “Careful where you stab that thing!”
“Squash wielding simpleton…”
“Better this than the plastic mess I dug you out of though, yeah?”
The Fright Knight refused to respond, which was probably the closest thing to agreement anyone was going to get. Did that count as progress? No, not really.
“Did anyone here come to actually try to figure something out, or should we just call it here?” Vlad couldn’t keep the irritation out of his voice, almost eager to call it a waste of time and move on to something else.
“Hey! What about YOU?! You’re a ghost that causes problems too, home slice!”
Oh for the love of fondue. “I am managing perfectly well-”
“Which is why you totally paid me to set up more cameras last week.”
“That I PROGRAMED so the ghost child’s little friend could not DETECT THEM-”
“A very normal and ‘not causing problems’ thing to do.” Skulker finished with the technological tag team, kicking his feet up onto the table as if to maximize the insult.
“Hah! You seem like a much larger problem than any of us.” The Fright Knight seemed in much better spirits with someone else being criticized. “Perhaps instead of this farce of a meeting you could find a therapist.”
Vlad could only scowl more “As if I could find one willing to work with me!”
The knight’s face may not be very visible, but the half ghost could practically hear the grin in his voice. “Surely not! There are plenty of ghosts who care about health. You would have had to do something abominably stupid to scare all of them off.”
“Or letting out the ghost king! Who’d do something so foolish and get NOTHING out of it?”
His life is a goddamned comedy routine. Interrupting might make the two keep going longer though- so he just tries to wait until they get bored.
“Or better yet, repeatedly attacking who the leading medical experts consider a saviour! In front of them, no less!” Fright Knight was failing to keep his composure now, a cackle escaping at the sheer absurdity.
“WHY, doing even ONE of those things would be hard!”
“Imagine a ghost foolish enough to do all of them!”
This whole thing was a set up, wasn’t it? He didn’t even know which one to strangle first. “Are you quite finished?”
“MAYBE!”
“It’s only fair we get to criticize you back. We don’t go around living over here full time like you half breeds.”
“I get plenty of that without your help.” Vlad might have added more, but stopped as the door swung open to show an irritated black haired teenager. “You’re late.”
The boy rolled his eyes. “No I’m not.”
“I didn’t think the ghost child was coming! HELLO!” Technus’ loud greeting earned him a grimace.
“I’m not a child. And I’m not here for your stupid meeting.” The boy crossed his arms, keeping a fair distance away from the other ghosts. “Did you even explain me to your little tea party?”
“No. Considering you didn’t show up, I figured it could wait.” Which was perfectly reasonable! Did he want to try to explain a doomed timeline ghost that was hanging out in a cloned body? No. It was complicated enough before even touching the whole ‘oh that ghost is two half ghosts in an angst blender’ thing.
“Figures.”
Skulker stared for quite awhile before frowning at Vlad. “Okay, this was mostly a joke- but you aren’t seriously trying to replace the whelp again?” The other gathered ghosts looked amongst themselves and Vlad, a mixture of concern and anger.
“No! He’s a time anomaly thing, not a clone exactly.” Even if he was using a clone body. Which ideally the hunter wouldn’t try to pry too much into. “I’m not doing any other clone things.”
“That’s right, you aren’t.” Phantom said, blue eyes flashing red for a moment. “Instead of doing this dumb meeting, I did something actually helpful! You’re welcome.”
Oh, that was very ominous. “What do you mean by-”
The explosion that rocked the room rather cut off any attempt to finish his sentence.
“Just removed some temptation for you, old man.”
He might be trying to be a better person. Sometimes, you just had to shift into your ghost form and fling yourself at the smug little menace that blew up a very valuable research lab. Especially when the target in question clearly wanted the fight!
Skulker, the Fright Knight and Technus could only watch the two half feral ghosts tumble out through a wall.
“Do you think he’d notice if we went and stole stuff from the wreckage?” The hunter broke the stunned silence first
“Probably not!”
“That portal better still work, I want no part of whatever that is.” The Fright Knight was already moving to leave the room and the entire farce of a meeting behind.
“BORINGGGG!”
“More for us, remember?” Skulker elbowed Technus before any extra goading could occur.
“Oh! Yes! FEEL FREE TO LEAVE!”
What was the harm in leaving a little extra mess for Plasmius anyway?
Phantasmal Nights is a fantasy themed Danny Phantom zine available for preorder digitally, in print, and with merch! For more information on the zine, check out our pinned post.
Preorders open Dec 13 – Jan 23.
Summary: Your parents wanting to have a talk with you is bad enough when you're a normal human teenager. It's much worse when you're a teenager with demon parents — and they don't know you're part human.
Excerpt:
“Stand. You do not need to be so formal with us, sweetheart!”
Phantom slowly cracked his eyes open, his mother’s kind tone settling some fears. Neither of them were starting out angry, so maybe they really didn’t know? The massive, serpent-like demon and his gaudy orange scales practically filled the room—even if the bulk of his father was settled on his mountainous lounge. Danny couldn’t look at him long; everywhere he looked was different. Some scales were caked with barnacles and the wear and tear of deep underseas, before suddenly becoming embossed with gold and jewels without any break in between, before flickering with the gleams of flame and magma. He was such a massive demon that he simply left parts of himself in different environments instead of altering his whole form to fit wherever he wished to be.
There was a reason the humans sometimes called him ‘Leviathan’. A world serpent. The end of days.”
Bonus points if Dash is bullying Danny in accidentally helpful ways.
"HEY FENTWERP, EVER HEARD OF CREATINE?"
"no tf"
"WELL YOU CLEARLY NEED IT. IT HELPS WITH MUSCLE BUILDING AND RECOVERY. WHICH YOU CLEARLY NEED CUZ YOU'RE SO WEAK. PATHETIC."
or like
"Hey FENT-NOT-TONED I bet you're not even hitting your protein goals!! How much protein are you eating per day? Like 30 g?"
"uhhhh probably idk why is that something i should be—"
"HAHA I KNEW IT. NOT EVEN HITTING THE RECOMMENDED DAILY AMOUNT OF PROTEIN PER DAY. I BET YOU'RE NOT EVEN USING PROTEIN POWDER EITHER TO HELP HIT THOSE GOALS. MY FAVORITE BRANDS ARE—"
One time Danny called Dash on doing chest presses on leg day and Dash cried
Vlad in the final chapter of @datawyrms fic A Family in Frost is so funny to me. He’s so sleazy, very casually admitting to kidnapping a baby. He’s perfect.
I came up with this Vlad design early during invisobang but ended up going in a different direction and not using it. Well I’m using it now! Look at this, “slim twig of a being”
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
By @datawyrms, I really like their take on a Dp, dragon au. It is very fun, and I had a great time designing dragons and making art for it alongside @snazzydwarf
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turnnoffyourmind
andulkaphoto
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izzy806
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