Digital Break-up Journal @dates-tears-bandageaids - Tumblr Blog

oct 16. 2025

so many great things are happening

and i want to tell you each one of them

you are like a habit, a routine

and for the first time in my life, I've grown tired of the things I've known

you drained the love i had, and now i can't wait to learn how to love in a different way, different things, different people

what a wonderful thought

so many great things are happening

and you won't know about a single one of them

#pt103 #digital journal #poetry #spilled poetry #datestearsbandageaids #hate #love #lovers #long distance relationship #exes #melancholia #ill be fine

Oct 13. 2025

its so wonderful how i swore i would never heal from your wound

just to realize, i breathe easier without you

#pt102 #digital journal #poetry #spilled poetry #datestearsbandageaids #hate #love #lovers #long distance relationship #exes #melancholia #breathe #ill be fine

oct 08. 2025

I have met a hundred boys as cold as you

but i have never met one with the hopeness for warmth as me

so i think I'll be fine

#pt101 #digital journal #poetry #spilled poetry #datestearsbandageaids #hate #love #lovers #long distance relationship #exes #melancholia #ill be fine

oct 05. 2025

I started dating you when i was 20

im 23 now

i feel like i havent moved an inch

that everything i wrote, everything i suffered, everything i cried

was for nothing

because i ended up in the exact same place

"i still want us to be friends"

how can i be your friend when i wanted to have your children?

#pt110 #digital journal #poetry #spilled poetry #datestearsbandageaids #hate #love #lovers #long distance relationship #exes #melancholia

oct 04. 2025

yesterday you told me you missed me, for the first time in months

it gave me hope

today you broke up with me

i dont know how to stop loving you, i never learned, i was never able to stop loving you

am i really that bad?

am i really that wrong?

that no matter what i did, i could never make you stay

i was never able to make you stay

you told me you missed me

why would you say that to me? after all those months

why?

you gave me hope

i thought i was ready

i prayed

i hadn't prayed for anything or anyone in so many years

and i prayed for us

#pt 109 #digital journal #poetry #spilled poetry #datestearsbandageaids #hate #love #lovers #long distance relationship #exes #melancholia #the end #breakup #pain #done

oct 01. 2025

it feels pointless

it feels we are just dragging each other across the finish line

i was the one carrying this ship, i was the one who stayed romantic, the one that planned dates, the one that's still in love.

and yes,

what is the point?

you can't look at me, you can't talk to me, you can't touch me, you can't tell me you miss me, you can't tell me you love me.

we were a fire and we are out

we are nothing more than a natural disaster and all the ruins it left

#pt108 #digital journal #poetry #spilled poetry #datestearsbandageaids #hate #love #lovers #long distance relationship #exes #melancholia #fire #the end

sept 25. 25

i dont believe in signs, i dont believe in horoscopes, eclipse season and bad luck

i believe we see what we want to see, we make those things happen

but i tried changing the picture of you from my lockscreen, and it didnt let me, it remained the same, i tried it 3 times.

today i woke up thinking: im going to break up with him, i will tell him

and the wifi has not worked, my texts dont get through

a part of me says: those are signs, signs to not give up

but, ive been given every sign to let go and i never take them

but these ones

i desperately want them to be real, i want to hold on, hold as tight as i can.

please

i prayed

i hadn't prayed in years

im scared about the signs you are getting

because you believe in all of that

im scared something more powerful than us is sending you signs, or even worse, that you are making them happen

im scared of the signs, im scared of what they are telling you

im scared it won't matter what i do

it wont be enough

that the month will pass and my actions were not enough, because you have your faith set

your mind is made up, by signs, constellations or numbers

believe in me

put your faith in me

in this weak pathetic little thing

pray for me, not a feeling, not a prediction, not a dream

please

#107 #digital journal #poetry #spilled poetry #datestearsbandageaids #hate #love #lovers #long distance relationship #exes #melancholia #the end #signs

Sept 23. 2025

I practically had to beg you to stay with me

I can't believe i felt relieved when you told me a month

you will give me a month

we wont last the month

because we, are not trying

am trying

i ask about your day, i put a smile on my face, i comfort you, i call you pet names, i make plans for the future, i tell you and ask you every detail about your day.

You laughed when i said I miss you

you made a list

of all the reasons not to stay with me

a list of all the bad things about me

a list of all the things i hate of myself

and apparently, so do you

#pt106 #digital journal #poetry #spilled poetry #datestearsbandageaids #hate #love #lovers #long distance relationship #exes #melancholia

Sept 16. 2025

I should have never come

you say that you still want me

yet you dont look at me

you dont touch me

you dont talk to me

how is that wanting me?

when every part of you is showing me you cant stand me

#pt105 #digital journal #poetry #spilled poetry #datestearsbandageaids #hate #love #lovers #long distance relationship #exes #melancholia

Sept 13. 2025

i ran away crying from a club

you just stared at me and continued dancing

#pt104 #digital journal #poetry #spilled poetry #datestearsbandageaids #hate #love #lovers #long distance relationship #exes #melancholia

Sept 12. 2025

Im flying out to see you while crying about how unloved i feel by you

#pt103 #digital journal #poetry #spilled poetry #datestearsbandageaids #hate #love #lovers #long distance relationship #exes #melancholia

August 31. 2025

Ive had so many opportunities to write but i purposely avoid to do so

you hate me

you

can't stand me

you are tired of me

and still, you stay with me

and still i stay with you

guess we really are perfect for each other

#pt 103 #digital journal #poetry #spilled poetry #datestearsbandageaids #hate #love #lovers #long distance relationship #exes #melancholia

July 03. 2025

i believe you actually hate me

you dont even like who i am

then why are you with me?

why am i with you?

#pt102 #digital journal #poetry #spilled poetry #datestearsbandageaids #hate #love #lovers #long distance relationship #exes #melancholia

June 27. 2025

I really thought i would not write here anymore

i hoped

how naive of me

im always wrong and i never learn

i have no space in your life, not in the life you want at least

not in the life you are trying to build for yourself, even when you said you would move your life for me

once again, ill have to abandon myself to be in your life

i dont fit

i have to mold myself, adjust

and im trying

so hard

but you aren't satisfied

and i dont think you will ever be

because im not what you want

not really

i have never been

and somehow i keep trying

and ill continue to do so

and you'll give up on me before i do on you

as always

you'll give up on me

and ill be left trying

for how long ill do it? even when you're not around, ill still be thinking of ways to please you, ill still think of how to look good for you if we run at each other on the street, ill keep wondering, ill keep hurting, ill keep loving, ill keep writing, ill keep hoping, ill keep dreaming, ill keep trying

for something you want me to give up

for something you dont even want me to try anymore

but i still do

i always do

ill always do