There Is a Fine Line between Bravery and Idiocy

There Is a Fine Line Between Bravery, and Idiocy

[dauntlessclarington]

I will follow you into the dark

[dauntlessclarington]

Blaine agreeing with him seemed to become a more common occurrence lately. Hunter would be pleased by that but he wasn’t stupid. It was either because of their growing feelings for each other or because he was still scared that Hunter would rat him out and went for the route where he was sucking up to him. Or both. Desperate times called for desperate measures. He would do the …No, he wouldn’t. He would fight is way out of this one, whatever it was. Even if it was stupid. But then again,Blaine hadn’t exactly asked him for help. He had said offered to help him, to find a way. “I know it’s true,” he said with a light grin that he wasn’t entirely feeling in that moment. It was short, though, and the mentioning of Sebastian had him perking up for another reason. “What did he want from you?” he wanted to know, nodding in the next second. “Why does this feel like you’re trying to get me to praise you?,” he teased, pretending not to see the pouting. Blaine in general already had a huge effect on him that he couldn’t quite explain.

Maybe because it shouldn't be thee in that form. They were years apart, the difference between Candor and Dauntless was like Night and Day. And now here they were, Hunter leading Blaine through the dim corridors to prepare him for what was about to come, something that could break both of their necks if one of them slipped. At this point, Hunter had no idea where it would lead. Not this between them or what they were about to do. It just wasn’t done that often. Not to mention that there was still that little side-effect of Blaine being able to be in his head too. Would that end up as being counter productive? He wasn’t sure. 

Shouldn’t have touched you, was Hunter’s first thought. But he had made his point about that clear he guessed. “Punching him would have been the Dauntless way to go,” Hunter commented casually, actually imagining it in his head. Blaine packed a good punch despite his height if he wasn’t unfairly outnumbered. “Apologizing isn’t going to help him in the end if he ends up faction less,” he added and stopped in front of the familiar door, hand still clasped in Blaine’s and him still close at his side. He waited for a moment, as if to make sure they were indeed still alone, then he opened it, reaching to the side to turn the lights on as they stepped inside. The chair stood there, ready for its next intended use tomorrow. 

He reluctantly let go off Blaine’s hand, turned towards Blaine  and nodded towards the chair, letting him know non verbally that he should get seated, suddenly not feeling like talking until they were in there. . He would have to hook him up to make him the primary user as this was going to be about Blaine. And he rather not have his fears take up the majority of their dreamscape. It would distract both of them too much. 

[dauntlesslyblaine]

There was always this look that came over Hunter lately when Blaine agreed with him about something. Part of Blaine wondered if it was a good or bad thing, like he was expecting Blaine to argue a little more. He made a mental note to pay a bit more attention to that and maybe subtly bring it up some how. Right now they had other more important things to think about. “Oh nothing.” Blaine said “He was just being an ass and taking in delight in making me late I'd assume.” If he had thought things between him and Hunter were complicated Blaine had no idea what to make of him and Sebastian, admittedly Sebastian had gotten Blaine over that mental block of his and off of the bottom rung. But after flag night well...there was this tension between them, that Blaine wasn't sure what to think of. Blaine laughed softly and smiled up at Hunter. “Because your praise is a rare thing.” He said simply as he followed the older man down the hall ways.

Blaine could practically hear Hunter thinking, he didn't know about what, but he knew there were thoughts running though his head. Nothing too negative, at least from what Blaine could tell, but they were rather heavy thoughts it seemed It was most likely what they were about to do. Blaine didn't know what it entailed but Hunter did. All Blaine knew was it was a risky thing to do. After all he was getting help everyone else wasn't getting. Either way Blaine was thankful for it, anything to keep himself alive.

“Yeah it probably would have been.” Blaine said softly not looking at Hunter. 'it's why I'm divergent.' ran across Blaine's mind but he kept the words down. He didn't need to go broadcasting that, even if Hunter already knew, who knew who could be listening in. “It might.” Blaine said “It might make him realize he needs to work harder and it'll keep him from being fractionless....He does well on everything else, its just this last stage where he has struggled.” Blaine said simply before falling silent with Hunter. He held on to the other man's hand as long as he could trying not to sigh when Hunter did finally let go.

They had work to do though, so he knew better. He nodded once when Hunter nodded to the chair and he walked over to it and slid back till his back hit the chair and he took a deep breath. Everyone else was afraid of this room, but not Blaine....he just saw it as a room....that was the problem though, and he really hoped Hunter could help him.

[dauntlessclarington]

I will follow you into the dark

[dauntlessclarington]

“I always make them run laps no matter what they do wrong. Or push ups. Pain is a good way of teaching people not to do something again.” He wasn’t wrong. The more and the longer he let them run, the less they showed up late. Blaine was one of the few he didn’t have to condition. But Candor was a rather disciplined faction anyway even if they didn’t have to get up quite that earlier. It was a nice counterpart to his smart-mouthed side either way. “Worked pretty well on you too. One time late and you showed up on time every time after,” he told Blaine smugly. It was not quite how it went in reality but he didn’t think either of them gave a damn anyway. 

“That information is held back deliberately,” he explained curtly, glad that Blaine had clarified his reaction. He gave way too much thought to possible negativity today. A lot more than usual considering what happened last night. Sometimes having so much responsibility really weighed down on him. He exhaled as laine finished his sentence for him, relieved and grateful at the same time, mixed with a little surprised. Once more Blaine just got him and even though he had expected him to, there was that feeling of surprise again and the one where he just wanted to kiss him.

“Yeah, that’s what we’re here for,” Hunter echoed because he was right. As much as it was nice standing here with Blaine and hoping it might push sone of them to make it lead somewhere else, there were more important things. Like making Blaine go into a simulation and act like he was supposed to and not like someone who could see right through it. Not that that stopped him from lacing their fingers for real despite Blaine’s intention to keep it a light touch. He even huffed as Blaine let go completely, not caring if it was a bit juvenile. His behavior was short lived, though. “Just didn’t think you’d make it a public scene. That’s all,” he teased, then shrugged and turned down a darker coridor. No one should be down here at this time after all. Why waste electricity. “I doubt it. But he was very talkative earler today as he was trying to save his own ass  I have to say.”

[dauntlesslyblaine]

“Well being Late is one of them.” Blaine said with a little smile. “Yeah actually, its pretty true.” Blaine’s mind instantly went to Candor, and the truth serum that got used so much as a threat and punishment. Blaine had never been given it himself, he always had crumbled before his father marched him up to the center. But Blaine had been taken up to the “truth room” as kids his age called it. He had watched the initiation process for candor time and time again, and he had watched trials a good number of times. He watched as people writhed in pain as they tried to conceal or twist the truth. Some of them it was hard to feel sorry for, he figured that was his Father’s influence on him, but others? Blaine knew some people had secrets to keep for their own reasons, and not all of them needed to be pried out of them like a thorn. Blaine didn’t like thinking about it, it had been one of the big reasons he wanted to leave Candor. He could have possibly gotten by that initiation process, he grew up in Candor, he knew how to dance around the truth usually. But if his father had been the one standing there asking the questions, he might not have. Blaine pulled himself out of his thoughts when Hunter spoke again and he wrinkled his nose slightly “I was late by 1 minute and only because Sebastian had cornered me in the hall. Other wise I’ve always been like the first one anywhere you tell us to be.” Blaine all but pouted, but knew they were just playing, keeping the mood as light as they could.

Blaine nodded again, understanding why parts of the simulations weren’t explained to them, if you knew too much maybe someone who wasn’t Divergent could still be seen as one if they could remind themselves when they went in that it was just a simulation, and then on the reverse side, people like Blaine who actually were Divergent, didn’t know that everyone else wasn’t as aware as he was. Blaine smiled just a bit when Hunter exhaled like Blaine finishing his thought for him was more helpful than it seemed.

He couldn’t help but be thankful that Hunter laced their fingers together, Blaine was still unsure how to approach...them. He knew this was more, he just didn’t know where the lines where. After the initiation, and after Hunter wasn’t his instructor things would be easier, which was going to be amazing because between the two of them things were already pretty easy, they fit. Which blew Blaine’s mind in some ways, he had never fit anywhere before, but with Hunter? He did. He fit in more ways than one. Their height difference made it so Blaine fit against Hunter’s side and their hands slotted together without any real effort. Also personality wise, even this early on they seemed to fit together just right. But for now? Blaine didn’t want Hunter to get in trouble.

“I didn’t want to make it public.” Blaine said as he looked around almost as if he expected someone else to show up and over hear them. “But he came up to me and It wasn’t like I could just walk away from him….Part of me wanted to punch him, but he already had a good black eye so I just told him what I thought.” Blaine said with a little shrug. He let his hand find Hunter’s again when they moved down the dark hall way, although last night clung heavily to him and he couldn’t help but cling to Hunter a bit more just out of nervousness that there would be a repeat attempt. Although the logical side of his mind told him After what Hunter had done those boys wouldn’t be able to walk very well let alone try to toss Blaine into the pit.

“I dont think he was trying to save his own ass….I really do think Finn just felt sorry for what he did. He was scared, and he has to realize now that fear turns him into a coward. He has to live with that now and overcome it….So guess apologizing to me was the first step.” Blaine said shifting a little closer to Hunter as they rounded a corner and tensing just slightly but relaxing just as quickly once they were passed the blind corner.

[dauntlessclarington]

I will follow you into the dark

[dauntlessclarington]

“Do I look like someone who gives a shit about being late?” Hunter asked with a smirk. Then his mind altered him of something and he added, “Outside of me being an Instructor that is.” Because then he very much minded considering he was supposed to train useful additions to Dauntless here. And discipline and punctuality were a big part of that when it came to the jobs that needed to be filled. But he really didn’t want to think too much about the details of that at the moments. Not when he was up here with Blaine. Finally alone again. But then again, they were here to talk business so he should stop scolding himself for thinking of it. 

“I could, yeah,” he confirmed, not sure how to read Blaine’s confusion, his whole reaction really. He had thought he was someone Blaine trusted but this seemed like he thought Hunter was setting up a trap for him. He knew better than to voice that thought out loud, though. It would inevitably make Blaine put more distance between them again, put himself out of reach and Hunter would at least the theoretical option of touching him. It just made him feel more at ease. “It’s an uncommon practice, admittedly, but….” he let the sentence trail off, knowing Blaine would understand what he wanted to say.

Not only that, he seemed to be able to read Hunter’s thoughts in a way as he stepped closer, putting them intimately close together again and making Hunter’s heart beat irregularly for a moment. It was ridiculous, really. He was and adult and his teenage years were long over. “Now? Right in this moment?” he asked, voice surprisingly playful, and reached out and played with a loose thread on Blaine’s jacket. He watched his fingers before looking up at Blaine and grinned a little. He let his hand drop and brush Blaine’s, then he nodded too. As they walked toward the door and down the stairs that led up to the roof, he brought up Finn again. “You brought Finn close to tears this morning I heard.” Not like he had to reveal right away that he had witnessed the whole thing. 

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Blaine opened his mouth to speak before Hunter added about him being an instructor, he laughed a bit and grinned “I was just about to say, You make people run for a half hour when they are late in the mornings.” Blaine understood why though, and really didn't have any problems seeing the difference between instructor Hunter and regular Hunter. Admittedly there were a lot more then Blaine thought though. But then again Blaine wondered how much of the difference was cause just by him, or if this was how Hunter really was when he wasn't scaring the crap out of initiates. He was quieter and softer, and a lot more playful. Even in just the short time Blaine got to see that, Blaine could pick out the differences.

“I didn't know that was something that could be done.” Blaine said being able to see Hunter's own confusion. Like he was afraid Blaine didn't trust him. Which was far from the truth. Blaine trusted Hunter way more the he trusted anyone else, possibly even more then he trusted Cooper. Hunter knew Blaine was Divergent, and he was in a position where he had been ordered to turn anyone he even suspected of being divergent in...but he hadn't when Blaine told him, so Blaine had to trust him. It was hard not to, even after the bump they had early on, Blaine knew deep down Hunter was just doing what he needed to do to get Blaine to where he needed to be. Away from the bottom and on to stage two. And now that Blaine was in stage two and near the top of the rankings he needed to help Blaine survive. How could he not trust him. Blaine smiled just a bit when Hunter trailed off “This is an uncommon situation.” He finished for him.

“Course, thats what we are here for right? I want to not be terrified that when I get judged I wont not wake up from whatever they use to put me under.” Blaine said honestly. Although it was hard to move when he watched Hunter's hand reach up and play with the string on his jacket. He was still wearing Hunter's shirt, telling himself it was because it would look weird for Blaine to have changed randomly in the middle of the day, but really it was because he kept him calm. He was pulled from his thoughts when Hunter looked at him and if his cheeks were flushed from the cold already Blaine would have been blushing. His wishful teenage heart beating way to hard in his chest. Blaine followed Hunter and let his fingers loosely curl around Hunter's as they headed down the stairs. He'd let go once they got to where they could be seen but for not the pull was just to strong. Blaine let out a small breath though his nose that sounded a bit like a scoff. “I didn't say anything that wasn't true.” He said and shrugged “So Finn brought himself near tears.” Admittedly Blaine felt bad, he knew Finn was just scared, and fear made people do desperate and crazy things. “Hopefully he takes that and starts working on himself.” He said evenly.

[dauntlessclarington]

I will follow you into the dark

[dauntlessclarington]

A certain part in Hunter gave him the feeling that he would probably be totally satisfied with just standing there and staring at Blaine. The clouds that had shoved themselves in front of the moon were blown forward by a gust of wind and the snow reflected the light, that gave Blaine a certain glow.  Added to that, Blaine looked at him, smiled at him, like he was having the same thoughts. Or at least some thoughts along those lines. He followed his movements too, just like he did. But that wasn’t exactly why he had told Blaine to meet him here. It was about to get him through the Initiation, specifically, the more or less most official part since the simulations and their results were observed, sifted through to find well, people like Blaine and eliminate them from their society.

That was why he was here. To prevent Blaine from getting found out and killed. The thought was almost impossible to bear. No mind was paid to what could happen to him if they found out. It was something he would deal with along the way. “Wanted to make sure you arrived before I did?” he teased, smile warm. Fifteen minutes weren’t very long but considering the weather it couldn’t be that comfortable. Especially sitting on the cold stone of the building. He kept that to himself. He had to desire to reprimand Blaine for that. He wasn’t his babysitter nor did Blaine needed one. Just some guidelines sometimes. 

“I’m going to go with you into the simulations,” Hunter stated, his voice quieter than before as a simple safety measure. At the same time he had steped closer, to make sure Blaine wouldn’t miss anything he would say and had to ask to. He saw Blaine’s finger’s twitch and it distracted him from the other things he wanted to say, the urge to close his hands around Blaine’s and gaze into his eyes was suddenly very strong. He had no idea where that came from. It hadn’t even been aimed at him and was probably just a reaction to the cold seeping into his bones. 

Hunter blinked himself out of his thoughts, stuffing his own hands into the pockets of his jacket. He had been inside the whole day, so it was lighter than his others but still held reasonably warm. He couldn’t stay out here forever without starting to freeze, sure, but he could bear it for a long while he thought. Not just because he was tough but a certain someone was giving him warm thoughts. And if that didn’t sound cheesy he didn’t know what did. 

[dauntlesslyblaine]

“Not exactly.” Blaine said with a little shrug. “I just wasn't sure how much after sunset you meant and I didn't want to be late.” he explained. That and he had felt anxious all day once he had basically told Finn to fuck off. It wasn't that he was afraid of retaliation, he was just....on edge. So he had decided it wouldn't hurt to head up to the roof when he did because it got him away from everyone again. That and Blaine had always liked the snow, it made everything feel softer and quieter and told stores through the foot prints left in it. Blaine's stomach flipped just a bit when Hunter smiled like he did at him, He knew they were in a brand new territory with everything for both of them, but he was going to revel in the moments were Hunter let him see a side of him that wasn't the hard trainer.

Blaine's smile fell into a look of confusion and he tipped his head slightly. “You can go in with me?” Blaine asked confused. He didn't think that was possible. He thought you could only observe others simulations, not like....go in with them. So that would mean Hunter would go into Blaine's head....that didn't really sound too bad. He could see how some people might get upset or anxious about that but Hunter had been watching is simulations anyways so what difference would it make to have Hunter in it with him. He had nothing to hide anymore, Hunter knew what he was. Admittedly though he didn't put much thought into it, he was distracted when Hunter walked closer to him and his breath misted in the air and mingled with Blaine's.

He did notice that Hunter was wearing a lighter jacket then someone should out in the cold, and he had slid his hands into the pockets, so Blaine let himself slide off the ledge carefully and close the small distance between them and looked up at Hunter. “Alright.” he said “lets do it then.” he said with a little nod. He wasn't sure how exactly Hunter going into the simulations was going to work but he wasn't going to question. Hunter had a plan, and Blaine knew to trust him. Although he really wouldn’t have minded going back to Hunter’s room and spending a bit more time with him....

[dauntlessclarington]

I will follow you into the dark

[dauntlessclarington]

It was nice, though. Quiet. There was no reason for anyone to be up here at this hour and therefore no one was. It was one of the reasons Hunter had chosen it, despite it being so high up. He would be alone with Blaine and there was no chance of someone eavesdropping. Hunter had considered asking Blaine t come to his room again but had dropped that idea again quickly. Blaine could have gotten lost and the chance that someone tried to jump him again in the hallways leading to his place was too high. Not to mention that people who saw him there might ask questions. Initiates were not exactly something some of  the Dauntless liked to see around their homes until they belonged. 

Finally, he eyes adjusted and he noticed the shadowy figure sitting on the edge of the roof. And Blaine’s greeting confirmed that it was indeed himHis feet carried him over easily, the snow crunching satisfyingly under his boots. If he had been younger, he probably would have tried to use Blaine’s footprints to get over to him but in his age, he just left his own trail in the otherwise flawless snow up here. 

“Hey,” he breathed as he came to a stop in front of Blaine, the word misting up between them. His own lips were stretched into a smile too, not be able to hide that he was glad to see the other male. “Have you been waiting for long?” he wanted to know, knowing he wasn’t late in any way but he needed to know anyway. He rubbed his hands together before rubbing at his nose with the back of his hand. The cold was slowly freezing the body parts that were affected the easiest and the tip of his nose was the first to go. Would it be too weird that he thought it had become more sensitive because Blaine had broken it? 

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Blaine let his legs kick slightly over the edge and let his mind wander for the first time all day. He was excited to see Hunter, once again by himself. It was different when they were in training or just in the compound together. It had to be really. Whatever it was between them wasn't something that was suppose to happen. Blaine wasn't dumb. He was worried mostly, he didn't want Hunter to get in trouble, or have things said about him. Although now it was going a bit farther then that. If anyone found out about Blaine's secret, and the fact that Hunter was helping him hide it....well honesty Blaine wasn't going to let himself think that far. He'd much rather focus on the stupid teenage boy feelings of having someone attractive and older highly interested in him.

He knew soon enough if this continued they were going to have to sit and talk about things. Figure out were the boundaries were and figure out what exactly they were. Admittedly Blaine just wanted to talk about what they were and what it all meant rather then the boundaries, but he did have to be an adult about this after all. Although it was hard to think about that when all Blaine could really focus on was how Hunter's skin had looked with the ink laid out beautiful across his skin. Oh yeah he was in deep trouble. Luckily that was when the door opened and he saw Hunter scanning the roof. A good distraction, from his own mind.

Blaine watched Hunter leave foot prints in the snow next to the ones he had left coming over to the edge. Hunter's were a bit lighter, more sure-footed then Blaine's and he couldn't help but compare that to them in other ways as well. Although it was hard to totally focus when Hunter came cover to him and he could see the smile on his lips, and watch the way his breath misted in front of them like a small cloud. His eyes followed the way Hunter rubbed his nose and tried not to smile more. Blaine figured it was more sensitive to the cold, more then likely because of him. It was mean but the thought made Blaine kinda smug, that he had left a mark on Hunter that only he'd know about. Blaine's scar was a little more noticeable “Fifteen Minutes or so. Not long.” Blaine said his voice quiet. The snow around them muffled all the noise around them and made it feel like Blaine had to keep his voice down. He was sure Hunter picked this place to meet because no one would show up here, but Blaine liked to be sure. Blaine's fingers twitched slightly wanting to reach out and take the other man's hands, to warm them up, to just feel them....but Blaine controlled himself reminding himself that this wasn't a spontaneous meeting. “So.” Blaine said softly. “Whats the plan?”

[dauntlessclarington]

I will follow you into the dark

Only later, after he had left Blaine up in his room, he had realized that his demand had been a bit vague. He couldn’t expect Blaine to lurk near the roof the whole day nor should he really do that. If Hunter could have his way, he would have let Blaine stay up in his room so he could give his injuries a bit more time to heal before he had to deal with the hustle of joining the other Initiates again. It was a thought he scolded himself for. Because Blaine had to build up a certain level of toughness, even if it meant looking the guys who had tried to feed him to the fish. Added to that, knowing that Blaine was up there would distract him and he would also be inclined to keep him there a night longer. 

But he digressed. He fixed the vague time frame by casually seeking Blaine out in the hall by lunchtime and slipped a note with the simple ‘after sunset’ into one of his pockets. Blaine knew the rest after all. What he had underestimated was, though, that he would be distracted either way. Not much but it was enough that the day seemed shorter than usual. His thoughts circled around Blaine and his promise, making plans to execute what had been in his mind for a while. He had the meanings, the knowledge. That Blaine would be able to have a look into his head was just a side point considering Blaine had already seen a lot of him he had been showing willingly. 

Either way, as he was making his way up to the roof, he couldn’t deny that he was so looking forward to see Blaine, to be around him again. And to make sure he had made it through the day okay. Hunter had made sure the right people knew about last night’s incident and he had witnessed the little scene between Hudson and Blaine. Hunter couldn’t blame him that he didn’t accept Finn’s apology. That just didn’t cut it. It never would probably because trying to take a life left scars. Physically and mentally, depending on the situation. That didn’t just go away with a few words.

Reaching the top, he inhaled the cold night air deeply. It smelled like snow again and involuntarily his gaze went up to the night sky, face expression a little unhappy. There was already another soft but thick layer on everything and while it was perfect for the kids, he had to look at the whole picture. As he finished that thought, he scanned the area for Blaine. The light was dim up here, the only light coming from the moon and the street lamps lining the train tracks. 

[dauntlesslyblaine]

The rest of the day was kind of hard for Blaine, he had gone to go get looked at by Shannon after a slightly higher up said it would be a good idea, apparently word traveled fast among the higher ups. He sat in the medical wing while Shannon checked his head and cleaned it up just a bit better then Hunter had. She did have better supplies after all. Oddly she didn't question him really, but then again she probably had already looked at the others that Hunter had dealt with and put two and two together. She did get on him about eating when he had admitted to missing dinner the night before and breakfast this morning. So Blaine had made his way to lunch and just grabbed a few things before leaving again. His heart did a weird stutter when he saw Hunter, but he kept his off his face and didn't even pause when Hunter slid a note into his hand. He just held on to it until he got to his dorm were he set his food down and opened the note. He smiled a bit glad that Hunter had realized he wasn't real clear what “later” meant.

The down side of it meant Blaine was going to have to wait the rest of the day. He let himself sleep some more, to pass the time and to make up for any sleep he may lose tonight with Hunter's meeting. His sleep wasn't easy, it was a mix and mash of Hunter's face and Blaine being tossed into the pit. Either way his rest wasn't easy. When he finally did allow himself to get up and head out of the dorms t was nearly sundown. Blaine was thankful for that because he really just wanted to avoid everyone today. He grabbed his jacket, thankful Sam had grabbed it for him, and headed back through the compound. Getting to the roof was oddly easy, but Blaine figured at this point they weren't going to worry about initiates running out or disappearing, they needed to thin the numbers any ways.

The Sun was just barely disappearing when he reached the cold air, and he looked around quickly but honestly didn't expect to see Hunter. He had said /after/ sunset after all. But Blaine was thankful for the time alone, for the time to think. He walked over to the ledge and brushed the thin layer of snow off it and swung his legs over to sit down and let his feet dangle.

He couldn't help but smile when Cooper's voice instantly filled his head scolding him on how dangerous it was to sit on a ledge like that, even more so with it slick from the snow. He was in dauntless though, he told the voice in his head, he was suppose to take risks, and he was Divergent, which means he /was/ a risk. Blaine watched as the sky turned from oranges to pinks, to blues, purples and blacks. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as the cold air stung his lungs in the best of ways. He didn't know how long he sat there until he heard a rustling and looked over his shoulder to see Hunter. A smile turned his lips up before he could realize he and he swing his feet around so they were on the other side of the ledge, just barely not reaching the ground. “Hey.” he said knowing he'd be likely hard to see in his dark clothes in the dim light.

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Initiation: Stage Two - Day 34 - Real Fear.

[dauntlessclarington]

Hunter nodded at Blaine’s words, which were basically underlining his own thoughts. Besides, Blaine was smart. He was from Candor and….Hunter really couldn’t get over that it seemed. It was just that sometimes he unexplainably felt small next to this boy who was literally at least one head and a half shorter than him. He knew he was smart himself, not just for a Dauntless, but. No. He needed to stop thinking about that. Those were just the thoughts of him having had a long night and an early morning. And the confusing feeling caused by Blaine spending the night with him. Which was so surreal now that he almost pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t in a simulation or something. 

Blaine seemed to be in a similar state judging from the emotions flickering over his face as he had pulled the shirt over his head. Hunter had to force himself not to look at Blaine wearing his shirt for too long. For one,  there was a certain pride in the way he was wearing it. Or that’s what Hunter thought at least. Two, there was this feeling of wanting to take it off again to see Blaine’s skin again and admire it. Touch it. He mentally shook himself and went about his usual routine again. Although today it wasn’t exactly a routine as he had changed things up a bit for Blaine. That thought made him oddly giddy. 

He tucked the excess shoelaces into the side of his boots, the right corner of hiis lips quirking up at Blaine’s response. They were both, intentionally?, vague about what they meant but that was what made it kind of meaningful in Hunter’s opinion. They could mean all of it, or just fragments but Hunter was pretty sure both of them meant every word.  “Good,” he said eventually and joined Blaine at the door. “You have to turn the knob to open the door,” he teased, murmuring the words right into Blaine’s ear before he covered Blaine’s hand and opened the door with his help.  He stuck his head out and once he deemed the coast as clear, he turned to Blaine, standing right up in his space so he would cover him just in case someone would walk by and look their way. Slim chance but still. “Meet me on the roof later,” he said, eyes dropping down to Blaine’s mouth for a split second before he turned away again, slipping out of the door first. 

[dauntlesslyblaine]

There was a charge of something in the air between the two of them, it was nearly tangible. It drove Blaine crazy and he wanted to soak in it at the same time. He followed Hunter's path with his eyes and couldn't help but notice the small turned up corner of his mouth. Smiles were rare out of Hunter, real ones at least, ones that weren't laced with smugness or to be intimidating. He let out a breath of a laugh when Hunter teased him, although Hunter being so close to his ear sent chills shooting down his back and over his skin. Only to have his skin then feel like it was on fire when Hunter's hand covered is own and turned the door handle. Part of him wanted to snark back but his brain wasn't really thinking fast enough for it, and then Hunter was inches from him. He looked up at the taller man when he instructed him to meet him later and Blaine nodded quickly before watching him disappear out the door.

Blaine took a deep breath to steady himself again, which honestly wasn't that hard really. With Hunter gone it was hard /not/ to focus on what was ahead of him. His fingers fiddled with the sleeves of his shirt for a moment before looking out the door to make sure the coast was clear and quickly slipped out of Hunter's room and hoped he was headed in the right direction. It wasn't long until he stumbled on familiar ground and he sighed softly and let his feet lead him to the dining area. It was buzzing with voices as usual, and Blaine couldn't help but scan the room for anyone with fresh bruises and marks. But instead his eyes fell on a blonde mess of hair and he was moving toward it before he had even really registered it. He slipped into the seat next to Sam causing the other boy to turn and grin at him. “Hey.” He said putting an arm around Blaine causing Blaine to lean into the touch. “Hey” he said softly closing his eyes. “Hey so where were you last night?” Sam asked “I found your jacket in the hall and was gunna give you crap about....” Sam paused and pulled back a bit “Is that new?” he asked and Blaine when to reply but was cut off by his own name coming from behind them. Blaine turned to look who it was and nearly jumped out of his seat back wards. Finn was standing with his hands up slightly and looking at Blaine with wide eyes. He had bruises on his cheek and Blaine could only imagine how many more were hidden under his clothes. “Hey.” Finn said stuttering slightly “L-look....I just wanted to apologize for last night, I-....I was scared and I-...” Blaine stood up cutting Finn off and pulling him self up to his full height, which compared to Finn wasn't that much, but Blaine wasn't scared of Finn...or any of the guys that tried to kill him last night actually. “I'm not accepting your apology.” Blaine said coldly, and Finn's eyes only got wider. “I am going to tell you that maybe you should stop focusing on how well everyone else is doing, and take that energy and use it to focus on improving yourself, rather then going to such desperate measures.” Blaine said lowly, he turned on his heel not wanting to stay here any longer even if he had just arrived and he swiftly headed out of the room not even looking over his shoulder to see how Finn had reacted. Blaine had other, bigger problems to worry about. He was just thankful he had someone on his side....

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Initiation: Stage Two - Day 34 - Real Fear.

[dauntlessclarington]

“That doesn’t surprise me.” Hunter wanted to offer to take him sometime but he knew he couldn’t. It was all too guarded and Blaine had no business there unless the higher ups deemed him good enough to work there. If he wanted to. He wasn’t going to ask because he knew exactly what kind of answer he would receive from Blaine. That he didn’t want to decide anything like that yet because he hadn’t gotten through the initiation yet and wasn’t one of the Dauntless officially. Which made sense and didn’t make sense at the same time. Because Blaine would make it. With Hunter’s help.  “Can you really?” he mused before answering his own question as he looked at Blaine, knees drawn up and looking kind of miserable even though he tried not to. “Yeah, I guess you can.”

At least they were allowed to keep secrets here and not lay everything bare for everyone. It probably wasn’t as bad if you were a born Candor but a transfer? As tough as Hunter was, he’d probably not last there. He’d lock himself up so tight that they would kick him out. As he thought about that, he got lost in that feeling of familiarity spread again. He still couldn’t quite put his finger on it but it was nice nonetheless. He shook his head lightly and himself back into the present.

Just in time to hear Blaine’s thank you and himself to give it a dismissive shrug. “Don’t mention it.” He didn’t really move after, though, observing Blaine actually taking his torn up shirt off and putting Hunter’s on with a feeling of deep satisfaction that he didn’t know hat t do with. “Looks good,” he eventually said with an approving look. It was really a little big on him, just like Hunter had expected but it wasn’t overly noticeable unless you really looked. Which Hunter did right now. But not for that reason. Actually, he didn’t really know why he was so fascinated by it. 

He ran his fingers through his hair to make it look somehow presentable as he turned away, finally, to find the rest of his gear and to give Blaine some privacy. If he was anything like Hunter, he would need a few minutes to himself at least. He looked up from tying his boots as he heard Blaine move. To leave apparently since he was already at the door.  He straightened up and pulled his jacket on, all the while looking at Blaine. “I meant what I said last night,” he said instead of acknowledging the words directly. 

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Blaine smiled a bit and nodded when Hunter mused at him and he shrugged slightly. “I watch people all day, I can see how it'd get lonely if your perched up somewhere.” He explained before growing quiet again. He was nervous, no he was scared...about what was going to come next. He kept reminding himself to trust Hunter, but he was just flat out scared about what might happen. He had to convince everyone he was Dauntless when Hunter could clearly see what he was....Even if Hunter had a plan that didn't mean it'd work. Blaine took a deep breath and shook his head just slightly, right now was not the time to stress about it, He'd just made himself sick if he did. Right now he'd just have to put on a brave face and head down....and likely face the people who tried to kill him, but that seemed more doable then facing the unknown.

Hunter's shirt was big on him, but just in the arms, and the collar. The sleeves went just past his finger tips and the collar hung loose on his collar bone showing more skin then most of Blaine's clothes, but it was comfortable....and well comforting. It smelled strongly of Hunter, and it was soft from it's use. Blaine didn't want to give it back, but he made a mental note to make sure it got returned to Hunter at some point. Clothes were few and far between for the initiates, they didn't have very many credits yet, so most of their clothes were supplied to them rather then them getting to pick out their own. Blaine looked up and couldn't help but smile when Hunter said it looked good. A small sense of....something swelling in him. Blaine watched Hunter for a moment when he moved off to get ready himself and he had to seriously force himself to look away. The idea of getting to watch Hunter get ready, something he did every day was way to appealing to Blaine. He finished quickly wanting to give Hunter his space back and headed to the door.

He watched as Hunter stood up and couldn't help but be distracted by the strip of skin that showed when his shirt road up just a bit. He had seen all of Hunter's chest last night, been pressed up against it even, but it was still distracting. But maybe it wasn't the skin that was distracting but the way Hunter looked at Blaine and didn't break eye contact. Blaine nodded slowly, last night had seemed like a blurr now, but there were things that Hunter said that stood out, but also left Blaine unsure where to go. “I know.” Blaine said softly “Me too.” He was still rooted to the spot, hand on the door frame like he didn't want to leave.....he didn't really....but he was waiting, taking every moment of this quiet moment because he knew he might not get it again.

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Initiation: Stage Two - Day 34 - Real Fear.

[dauntlessclarington]

The grin told Hunter that Blaine definitely wasn’t brain damaged after last night. Which sounded more fun than it was. There had been no drinking or anything else pleasurable been involved after all if he didn’t count just having Blaine sleeping in his bed and if he would mention this to Sebastian in that context, he’d probably get a whole lot of teasing about his inability to get laid even though he clearly needed it. Hunter begged to differ. He just didn’t prioritize it. Or rather, he had a harder time to find someone he actually wanted to with. And if he had, it ended up like this. Something made it complicated. “That I talk to myself? No. It gets lonely up in the control room sometimes, you know?” he said airily, despite of what he had just admitted. But it was true. He liked his job but by now he had spent numerous hours there and it got monotonous watching others living their lives. 

A pang of regret had him pause for a split second, caused by Blaine’s sigh. Still, he got up and went searching for clean clothes for himself and for Blaine. He hadn’t forgotten the latter and was reminded of it once again as Blaine sat up and the holes in his shirt came into view again. He also paused for a couple moments, just watching Blaine rub the sleep out of his eyes and test  how functional his limbs were or if his head still made him dizzy. It was kind of fascinating to watch him wake up. When he went to wake them up down in the dorms, it was cold and everyone was in a hurry. Here it was relatively warm and he had the luxury to take his time. It felt intimate and Hunter had the sudden urge to go back to the bed and kiss Blaine, distract them both and kind of buy them more time. 

He cleared his throat quietly and pulled two shirts off of the shelves. It would be a bit big on Blaine but one was from his younger years when he hadn’t put on that much muscle yet. Would Blaine mind wearing this? Not everyone was okay with wearing someone’s else clothes when it could be obvious if someone looked closer. What helped, though, was that Dauntless’ color of choice was black. He went back to Blaine before he dressed himself, standing in front of the end of the bed, nudging his knees. “You should wear this. Your own is quite banged up.” He didn’t need to say why. They were both still feeling the aftermath of last night, Blaine definitely more than  Hunter. He would for a few days at the least, while Hunter would have an eye on him. 

He waited until Blaine had taken the shirt, then covered himself to avoid standing there and awkwardly staring at Blaine. As much as he found himself liking the sight, he was older and should keep himself in check. “You should still be able to catch breakfast,” he added after a beat because it was important to him that Blaine ate something. No matter how small it was. Just to see if he could keep it down. 

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Blaine shook his head just a bit “No not really. I've never been in the control room” Blaine said with a little shrug. “But I mean I can see where you're coming from.” Blaine wasn't sure if he was trying to be clever or if it was his candor up bringing that pulled that line from him. Might have been a combination of both. Candor humor was always pretty dry and straight to the point. It was actually something Blaine noticed, each faction had it own humor, Dauntless was a lot more on the side of poking fun at eachother, and riling one another up. It was overwhelming at first, but the more it became his norm the more he understood it, and enjoyed it. Actually thats how a lot of dauntless was for Blaine, overwhelming but he was getting to the point where he enjoyed it. Well maybe not all of it, but still.

Blaine wasn't sure if his body wanted him to lay back down and sleep or if it was just up for the day or not. He was tired but honestly he had been tired sense the moment he jumped into the pit. It wasn't always a bad tired, but Blaine could feel the weight of everything settling heavy on his shoulders and really he would have liked to just curl up and sleep for the whole day and avoid the world. He knew he couldn't but he was starting to get more overwhelmed then he wanted to admit.

Blaine looked up when Hunter cleared his throat, snapping himself out of his thoughts. He tipped his head when he saw Hunter holding a shirt out to him but before he could question it Hunter explained. Blaine looked down at his shirt like he had forgotten how badly it had gotten damaged last night before reaching out to take the shirt from Hunter. “Thank you.” Blaine said with a half smile. Deep down he was kinda freaking out that he'd get to wear one of Hunter's shirts, but his more logical side told him to basically shut up. Blaine pushed himself to the edge of the bed and let his legs hang over it wincing slightly as he moved. He had gotten pretty stiff and parts of him were rather sore, mostly his arms. He wiggled out of his shirt before sliding the one Hunter had given him over his head. It was a little big on him, but Blaine wasn't going to complain, far from it.

He was shoving his feet into his boots when Hunter spoke again and he looked up at him and nodded, as much as he didn't want to he figured he needed to go about things like normal. And skipping break fast wasn't exactly a normal thing for Blaine, especially if someone noticed he wasn't in his bed this morning. “kay.” He said softly standing up with a slight wince not bothering to tie his boots. He moved a few steps toward the door but stopped and looked back at hunter. “....I know I've said it a bunch but.....thank you....” he said quietly. It wasn't just for last night but everything else Hunter had done to help Blaine, even the stuff he hadn't realized.

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Initiation: Stage Two - Day 34 - Real Fear.

[dauntlessclarington]

Hunter rolled his eyes fondly at Blain’s somewhat predictable answer. He would have given the same one if he was being honest if asked like that. Especially at Blaine’s age where all one wanted to do was to dare each other to do stupid risky things and sleep until noon. Althouh, he guessed Blaine want so much after the risky things as he was in his age. Almost dying was probably risky enough. “Must be talking to myself then.” he mused, not surprised at how true that was most of the tme when he woke up. Now he had actually someone here that was real and not one of the usual suspects or  his own mind snarking at him. Someone who sought out to be closer to him with everal reasons in mind.

He doubted a lot of things lately but he didn’t doubt that all of them were positive and he let himself bask in Blaine’s closeness, of feeling his body against him in a way that was relayxed and sleepy and new. And horizontal. Now that he thought about it, he had only had contact with him either standing or sitting and he couldn’t help but grin a little at that because it was really kind of funny. That was until Blaine pointed out what his hand was doing and it slowed down unconsciously until it came to a complete stop and the lower of Blaine’s back. 

He looked down at Blaine with a contemplating look, eventually saying,“you can stay a bit longer. But I have to get up.” He did regret having to say that. But they had to be careful. Not to draw too much attention to them. Their feelings or Blaine’s diferent working mind. Otherwise it would be hard for Hunter to protect him. He remembered the state Blaine’s top had been in and made a mental note to lend him a shirt once he got up. Which he started to now, letting his arm retreat to brace himself on the bed next to Blaine and sit up without accidentally crushing or hurting him. Blaine’s body must still be sore, especially his head. 

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Blaine couldn’t help but grin just slightly when he could practically feel Hunter roll his eyes at him, he couldn’t help it. It was nice being in a bed that was warm, and getting to lay here as long as he wanted. That was the nice thing about stage two, they weren’t woken up at an ungodly hour in the morning and forced to run or something equally terrible. Although then again most of the initiates were up early because of nightmares and Blaine had to make himself wake up when he started to hear noises around him so it seemed like he was having a harder time with everything then he was. So maybe it wasn’t so much that he could lay here as long as he wanted, it was he didn’t have to pretend. He was getting really tired of the masquerade he was having to perform for everyone around him, and even then that wasn’t keeping him as safe as he thought it was. “Should I be worried at the fact that you dont sound all that surprised about that?” Blaine asked softly with a little laugh.

Blaine couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed when HUnter’s hand slowly came to a stop on his back, although where it rested wasn’t so bad. It was nice to have the warm hand on his back when the rest of his body was already starting to ache. Today was likely going to be a very long day. Mostly because of how sore he was but because he was going to have to find something to do to occupy his mind. He knew it’d start running away from him the moment he left Hunter’s side and was back in the “Real world” and having to deal with what happened last night. He wasn’t looking forward to it to put it lightly.

He let out a small sigh when Hunter said he had to get up and as much as Blaine wanted to pout and see if he could get Hunter to stay for just a bit longer he knew better, Hunter had responsibilities he needed to take care of, and if he didn’t show up someone would come looking for him and, well Blaine probably shouldn’t be found in Hunter’s bed by anyone. “Kay.” he said softly and wiggled just slightly away from Hunter so he could get up easily. Although it made Blaine all but whine when the warmth was gone and the bed was instantly emptier. He waited until Hunter was moving around the room to sit up and rub his eyes with the backs of his hands. He couldn’t justify curling back up in Hunter’s bed and going to sleep when Hunter was up and moving already. He winced as he stretched trying to get his body to move in the right ways. He wasn’t too badly sore, he had been training for a month straight prior to almost being tossed into the chasm. His head was what really hurt. He gingerly touched his temple and winced at just how tender it was. He’d have to be careful around people today, and he might just go to see beasite and have her look at it to make sure it wasn’t too bad and maybe get something for the headache he could already see coming. Blaine looked up and watched Hunter move across the room and he had to shake off the stupid teenager thoughts of how nice the lines of his body were. Now was so not the time for that.

Blaine shifted and pulled his knees up to his chest, he figured he’d wait here a little bit after Hunter left to make it not look like he and Hunter had come from the same place, although he wasn’t really sure if he’d be able to find his way back….he’d cross that bridge when he got there. And of course he’d have to see if Hunter was okay leaving Blaine in his room by himself. It was his room after all.

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Initiation: Stage Two - Day 34 - Real Fear.

[dauntlessclarington]

The seconds ticked by and Hunter didn’t want to move. Which wasn’t a first but with the body cuddled up next to him, Blaine’s body to be precise, it was extra hard to move. Not just because he enjoyed it but like he had said, he didn’t want to wake him up yet. He’d have to face a lot today even without the simulations and he would have to go back to the dorms to live with the other Initiates again today. Hunter couldn’t justify keeping him up here for another night. Not as an Initiate, even if he wanted to now hat he was thinking about it. In fact, he had to keep it at under a handful people knew he had been here the better. He could already see Sebastian leering and his comments about how Blaine had kept him up for other reasons than his possible concussion.

Hunter blinked again against the sun beams coming through his windows, his face warming up slightly. The glass was fogged up around the edges by frost flowers, he only noticed that now, and he was momentarily so fascinated by it that Blaine’s voice cutting through the silence had him flinch just slightly. He had forgotten that he had asked a question t an unmoving Blaine, who was apparently very much awake. A laugh followed and he turned his head down to be able to look at Blaine. “I might or might not let you stay in my bed a little longer depending on your answer,” Hunter stated, which wasn’t really a real answer at all. He had mostly just wanted to know if he was the only one creepily listening to the other breathe or not.

It hadn’t even really occurred to him that Blaine could stay a little longer without him until now. But it was an option, a good one even if people didn’t see them leave together. He would mull this over while he was getting ready. Which he had to do soon judging from the time of the day. His hand had unconsciously started to rub over Blaine’s back as he tried to motivate himself to move and go about his usual day routine. 

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Blaine usually never liked the quiet, and in dauntless quiet was a rare thing to come by so he had kinda welcomed that within his first night here, but the quiet between the two of them right now was a nice one. One Blaine would be fine staying in for a while. But he knew they couldn't just stay in Hunter's room. People would talk, thats what they did in dauntless, rumors flew fast around the compound. It always blew Blaine's mind a little when it came to that. In Candor it wasn't ever rumors, it was all true because thats how candor work, but in Dauntless? A small story always seemed to be 9 times bigger once it came back around. Blaine didn't think he was someone people would take notice if he didn't show up for breakfast or something, but he wasn't dumb enough to think no one would notice his absence. So he'd have to go back to the real world soon enough...maybe just not right that second.

Blaine smiled at Hunter's laugh and he nodded just a bit “Kay, then No i'm not awake.” Blaine said before moving just a bit more into the warmth that was Hunter's body. Blaine wasn't ready to go back, he wasn't ready to end this...whatever it was between them. He wasn't ready to going back to being scared he'd be found out, and he wasn't ready to go back and see Finn and whoever else had the marks from Hunter last night. He just wasn't ready. But that seemed to be how Blaine's life went, he was never ready, never prepared he just had to wing it and go with things. Although the more he thought about it the more he figured he'd over think to much if he was given time to prepare.

Of course that was when Blaine's mind fell back to the night before and how Hunter said he had a plan, he wanted to ask what it was, but at the same time he new better then to push. If Hunter had a plan he'd let Blaine know if he needed to. He had said he needed to trust him and honestly Blaine did so he'd let it be and trust in Hunter. His thoughts were stopped again though when Hunter started rubbing his back, and almost instantly he felt his eyes get heavy again. “So I'm hoping you'll say yes to me staying in bed longer cuz you rubbing my back like that is gunna put me back to sleep.” Blaine said tipping his head up finally to look at Hunter.

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Initiation: Stage Two - Day 34 - Real Fear.

[dauntlessclarington]

Hunter had fallen asleep sometime during the night after he had been sure Blaine wouldn’t die on him on his watch. The boy had been a little delirious but from sleep and not because of potential brain damage.  And once the time had been up where it could get critical, Hunter had let himself sleep too. Or he tried to. He kept opening his eyes to look at Blaine’s sleeping form to make sure he was just sleeping and that he could do so peacefully. At some point he had managed to fall into slumber, though, his body demanding the rest he was trying to hold off. It didn’t care that there was a body in his bed he wasn’t used to, probably even welcomed that because said body belonged to Blaine and he always wanted to be close to him ever since he knew what his lips felt like. And tonight he could. 

So even as he was sleeping, they both inched towards each other until the sides of their bodies had full contact. Everything went from warm to hot and he draped his arm around whatever was making the temperature rise and tugged it against him while he was asleep. Unconsciously he probably expected it to be Sebastian who had sneaked into his bed again late at night as he so often did when his own was too empty. As the sun rose, though, and the more he came to, the more it became obvious that this couldn’t be Sebastian. First off, the smell was wrong. There was no faint hint of alcohol, just something sweet, a little metallic but clean. Secondly, the height and position were all wrong too. And like a sledgehammer it hit him what had happened last night and he was awake. 

His arm tightened momentarily around Blaine before it went lax again and he turned his head, blinking his eyes open and let his surroundings get into focus.  First his room, then the mop of curly hair that was tickling his chin. Hunter went through a mental list of where their bodies were touching, then listened to Blaine’s breathing to try to figure out of he was awake already too or not. “You awake, kid?” he asked in the end because he was still a little drowsy in the head himself and he absolutely lacked patience right now. At the same time, he didn’t move more than a muscle on his face at the moment just in case Blaine wasn’t awake and he had to figure out his next course of action. 

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Blaine let himself snooze a bit once he had woken up and realized where he was. He didn't want to move and disturb Hunter's sleep, and he didn't want to move for other selfish reasons. He was comfortable with Hunter, and as much as Blaine was starting to realize that Hunter felt the same pull he did that he wasn't totally crazy for letting himself fall this hard for Hunter he wasn't sure if this would happen again. Blaine liked to just a bit to much. He liked just laying there pressed against Hunter with the older mans arm around him, and them not even talking just being in the same space. Although that could change seeing how Hunter wasn't even awake yet but, details. He wasn't about to pop this perfect bubble himself, he'd let himself stay in it just as long as he could because frankly he kinda felt like he deserved it, just a bit. He had nearly been killed by people he was going to have to see today, and tomorrow and the next day and so on. So he should be more then allowed to lay here with Hunter and soak up everything about the moment.

He felt Hunter's arm tighten around him for a moment and he took a deep breath, mentally preparing him for Hunter moving away, although it didn't happen just then. He was still pretty much half asleep but if Hunter was going to wake up then it was a sign that Blaine needed too as well. Hunter probably had things to do today. They didn't have simulations that day because Hunter was kind enough to give them a day in between sessions. Mostly because all the normal initiates were struggling with what was happening in the simulations to them, and only a good handful had improved their times a good amount. Blaine hadn't been struggling at all but there was a very clear reason to him and....now Hunter....as to why he wasn't. Blaine pulled his thoughts away from that for now, telling himself he shouldn't be thinking about the simulations, Hunter said he had a plan....

That was when Hunter's voice cut though the quiet, even if his voice was softer then it normally was. “If I say yes, will you make me get up?” Blaine asked his voice heavy with the slight grogginess that came with just waking up. Blaine didn't move, he really didn't want to. He could have likely lied here all day with Hunter, or for at least another hour or so. But again, if Hunter had work to do he wasn't going to keep him from that, it wasn't like he could anyways. But he'd stay still till Hunter moved, partly because his body was sore and he was kind of afraid to move his head in case he was hit with a headache.

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Initiation: Stage Two - Day 34 - Real Fear.

[dauntlessclarington]

The was that certain look in Blaine’s eyes that told Hunter Blaine was smiling inwardly. It was nice to make him smile every time, no matter how and  it causing a fluttery feeling in his chest. As well as one that almost made him draw Blaine into his arms. Almost. He didn’t want to move Blaine in any way, now that he had found a good spot it seemed. It was interesting how quickly Blaine had taken over his bed anyway. Like he belonged here. A small voice in Hunter’s mind agreed with that thought. “Sure did. Why do you think our cooks are avoiding me?” he said with a short but playfully smug wriggle of his eyebrows. “I might be willing to do that,” he continued, knowing already that Blaine probably wouldn’t have to do much to convince him. It wasn’t like he had any use for them himself. He liked them but not without them being layered with thick chocolate. It was probably the conditioned dauntless thing for chocolate. 

“I haven’t really done anything to make you trust me either” he pointed out before he amended, “Except today maybe.” It was true, though. He hadn’t actively tried to win Blaine’s trust. It had just happened. And he was all the more glad for it because his trust had grown behind the scenes too. Not just in Blaine’s mentality but in his ability too. Working hard did pay off even if you were behind. Blaine had learned and internalized it. He rolled his eyes fondly when Blaine giggled and nodded once as if to finalize that plan to get Blaine up here again, also as an agreement to Blaine’s response. 

“That’s good,” Hunter said quietly, seeing that Blaine struggled to keep the conversation going. It was okay. He could let Blaine sleep now and wake him up again in a couple of hours to check his reflexes and responses. He hesitated for a moment, then tipped his upper body forward slightly and touched his lips to Blaine’s forehead. ‘No, thank you,’ he thought before returning to his previous position and laid on his back, his eyes determinedly on his ceiling again to not watch Blaine like a creep. 

[dauntlesslyblaine]

The next thing Blaine knew was there was light hitting his eyes and he was too damn comfortable. He was warm, and he felt secure and safe, and down right content, so he was kinda annoyed when the light hit his eyelids and and made him conscious enough to be aware that light was hitting his face. He honestly didn't want to open his eyes and find out what the source of the light was and one time it was, all he wanted was to sleep more. So he wiggled him self a bit lower and tipped his head down until his forehead touched whatever warm solid source he was next to. Actually it was more like what ever warm solid source that was wrapped around him. He was too warm and too content to move. He took a deep breath and a familiar sent filled his nose and that was when the night before came rushing back to him, and the warm solid thing wrapped around him must have been....Hunter.

Blaine opened his eyes and was greeted with thin black fabric of an undershirt. Somehow in the night Blaine had ended up cuddled into Hunter's chest and the man had turned toward him and had his arm around Blaine. The love sick teenager in his head calling it protectively, but his logical side called it comfort. Either way Blaine really didn't want to move now. He wanted to soak the moment in. Getting to lay undisturbed in Hunter's bed, a bed that was like eight times more comfortable and warm then his had ever been. And not to mention with Hunter himself. The man seemed to sleep just fine with Blaine in the bed and even pulled him closer it seemed. Blaine felt himself cuddle a little more into Hunter but winced ever so slightly when it hit how sore he was from his head down.

It kinda all came flooding back at once, oh yeah, he had been nearly killed last night, that was why he was up in Hunter's room. His head hurt a lot less then it had last night even if the rest of him was stiff and sore from sleeping so heavily in one spot. He let his head tip up just slightly to maybe figure out what time it was. It felt early so breakfast likely just started. He wasn't feeling very hungry, and Hunter didn't seem to be ready to be up, So he'd lay there and wait for Hunter to wake up, and soak in the feeling of being that close to him.

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Initiation: Stage Two - Day 34 - Real Fear.

[dauntlessclarington]

For someone who had been so curious and after the truth in a previous life, so to speak, the simple agreement seemed just a little weird. But Hunter wasn’t complaining because no questions was what he wanted in this moment. It was just all too real he guessed. Or getting too real. And he was helpless against it for now despite his connections and rank within Dauntless. Blaine acting indirectly grateful at being in a real bed, though, it made him forget. His injuries seemed forgotten too, for the time being, judging from how he cocooned himself into Hunter’s blankets. It filled Hunter with a sense of pride, sort of, and with a feeling of belonging. On Blaine’s behalf not his own. Which was weird too, admittedly, but not a lot of things were not weird these days. “I might have some for you,” Hunter revealed and nudged Blaine’s hand very, very gently with his own. It struck him that being in someone’s bed could imply that he might want something, expect something, and he didn’t want to give Blaine the wrong impression with the wrong touch. If there was something going to happen between them again, he didn’t want Blaine to be in pain or feel obligated. 

“Of course?” He couldn’t help but find it kind of funny because of the things that had gone down between them. A broken nose, a  deep flesh wound, bruises and taunting. Kisses on cold lips. Heated looks. Not quite how things like that should go down but neither of them seemed to mind. “I’m glad,” he added, voice sincere. He really wanted to help Blaine and trust was really necessary. He just hoped he didn’t bite more off than he could chew with this whole thing. 

“Bird silhouettes. So once the windows are actually clean at some point, I won’t have to scratch real birds off of the glass.” Hunter let out a laugh on his own, his eyes roaming over the dirty glass again fondly. One day he would get to that. When things were not as up in the air as they were now. Maybe Blaine would help. And then he could see what Hunter meant about the sun painted his room in pretty colors. “You’ll see it sometime.” And that sounded a lot like a promise, didn’t it?

“Well, he can’t quite reach you here anymore,” Hunter said calmly, eyes coming to rest on Blaine’s face again. “And maybe your brother is going to find a brave bone in his body and come and visit you not the other way around.” Hunter’s voice was teasing but he was dragging the blanket up to Blaine’s shoulders as he talked, a caring gesture. A fingertip of him caught slightly in a hole in Blaine’s shirt and he made a mental note to make sure Blaine wouldn’t leave like this tomorrow morning.  

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Blaine could see the slight surprise in Hunter's eyes, and he couldn't help but smile internally about it. Hunter had every right to assume Blaine would want answers, Blaine hadn't really been the kind of kid to just take a “I'll explain later” and be happy with it. But he had learned that sometimes in Dauntless things didn't need to be explained right away. Blaine hadn't really wanted to explain what had happened to him in Candor when everyone was asking, but a simple “I don't want to talk about it.” was not enough for them. And right now, Blaine's head was throbbing just a bit and he was okay with not having to really think. So for now he'd be content to lay in a bed that actually had a mattress and wasn't -15 degrees. Blaine looked up at Hunter when he nudged him and he smiled a bit more “You really did beat up someone for my chips didnt you?” he all but cooed “I'll have to make sure you give me some in the morning.” Blaine said. He couldn't help but notice how careful Hunter was with him, and he wondered if maybe it was because he was worried about how Blaine would react, seeing how he was just nearly killed, or because he was afraid of Blaine thinking he was expecting something from him. Which Blaine knew wasn't the case. Yes they had kissed, a lot, but Blaine didn't get the feeling from Hunter that he was expecting more. And Blaine also knew tat Hunter wasn't about to go asking for it now anyways seeing how Blaine's body was starting to ache now that it had settled and the adrenaline had worn off.

“Yeah of Course.” Blaine repeated with a little nod. “You haven't done anything that would make me not trust you.” He said, even throwing the knife at Blaine. If he really wanted to Hunter could have done a lot more damage then just a good slice to his arm. And Blaine /had/ broken his nose. But everything after that? Hunter had only seemed to have his best interest in mind. Why wouldn't Blaine trust him? After all....he did just save his life. Blaine smiled when Hunter said he was glad and he let himself relax a bit more into the bed.  Blaine let out a laugh with Hunter when he said his plans for the windows, which fell into small giggles until Hunter stated Blaine would see the colors of his room sometime and he smiled fondly up at the older man. “Good.” was all he said before he let out a small content sigh.

Blaine kept his eyes closed when Hunter talked about his dad, Mostly because it made things easier, and because he was starting to feel really tired. Everything was catching up to him and his body was reminding him just how tried he was. “he said he was gunna try to come see me next visitation.” Blaine said quietly, even though at the time Blaine didn't know if he'd be alive at next visitation. It was hard to focus on that though when he felt Hunter drape the blanket over him more securely and Blaine felt his body shift a bit closer to Hunter. “Thank you.” he uttered, for everything, his mind added. He knew he probably should stay awake for a bit longer but he figured if Hunter thought it was needed he'd keep him up.

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Initiation: Stage Two - Day 34 - Real Fear.

[dauntlessclarington]

Hunter raised an eyebrow at Blaine. “Oh,” he confirmed, not in the mood to talk about it right now or to go into more detail. “I might tell you about it another time.” It had become kind of a sore subject, he realized, resulting him to become almost detached from his own home in a way. It wasn’t the change itself at all, it was how Dauntless was moving away from his own manifesto. Trust him to realize that in a situation like this, after things had escalated and he was hiding a boy in his room that could drag him down to his death too. Like he said, though, he’d make sure Blaine and his secret would be protected. Not because of himself, because of Blaine. It wasn’t the ounce of selflessness he was still hoping to discover.  No. It was selfishness because he wanted to keep Blaine alive for his own sanity too. “You said that before.” And it still stung a little because Hunter tried hard to make Blaine feel at home, part of it even unintentional. “Do you need more apple chips?” he teased, barely managing to make it sound like that and not strained in any way. The sad thing? He had really gathered a few more bags of them to give them to Blaine. 

Hunter shrugged and looked away again for several moments. Right now he wasn’t sure if that thing between them was even still there or if he hadn’t just imagined most of it because he felt real attraction for the first time and not because he was supposed to feel it for someone to get people off of his back. “Because I want to,” he said simply after his gaze had returned to Blaine. “I already have an idea,” he revealed, pulse beating faster while thinking about it. “You just gotta trust me.” Blaine was a fast learner. He could get him through the Initiation without anyone noticing with the right timing. 

His eyes looked at the big windows again as Blaine mentioned the birds. “I’ve been meaning to paint something on them but didn’t get around to do it yet. And now the dirt keeps them from breaking their neck.” He smiled at Blaine’s next words, secretive, soft. “Yeah, it is. It’s quite….pretty.”   It was the best word to describe it without getting too poetic. Hunter liked to sit on the glass outside, watching the sun rise or set sometimes and wonder about the fence and what was waiting outside. If there was anything at all that is. “Maybe I do,” he echoed,chuckling at himself and Blaine who didn’t seem to mind that at all that Hunter had left the how open ended.

“I’m not sure if I met the same person you grew up around but he was quite…..snobby. He seemed to have quite the respect for my father because of the ways he could kill him but at the same time, he looked down at him,” Hunter recalled as well as that he had wanted to kick him in the shin and mess up Anderson seniors pristine black and white suit. Hunter gave Blaine an understanding nod then shook his head a little. “Maybe you should expect more, though.”

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Blaine nodded and wiggled himself a bit deeper into the blankets of the bed. “Kay.” he said simply. He could see there was more to that subject then Hunter wanted to talk about right then and Blaine was fine with that. He wouldn’t push, it wasn’t really important enough for that. At some point it might be but for now? It was far from it. Hunter would talk about it when the time was right, and when he was ready, Blaine could see it was a sore subject somehow but he wasn’t dumb enough to push it. Blaine looked at Hunter and nodded a bit “I know.” he said quietly “It’s gotten a bit better. There are people here that make me feel that home feeling but they are kinda few.” Hunter being one, the biggest one. Blaine wouldn’t admit that, not right now. He laughed softly, but there was this twinge of sadness in his chest. That lonely feeling was back, even though Hunter was offering him something that shouldn’t have made him feel lonely….maybe it wasn’t loneliness maybe it was something else. Maybe Blaine was just tired and the shock was wearing off…maybe it was just that he wanted to belong with something, someone, anyone so bad that when Hunter actually seemed to be that someone it hit him hard. Maybe it was just a combination of everything falling suddenly on a very stressed out Blaine. Who knew.. “I’d never turn down apple chips.” Blaine said softly hoping to keep his voice even and the emotion out of it. He didn’t think Hunter would want to deal with an emotional break down ontop of Blaine having been attacked.

Hunter looking away gave Blaine time to take a breath or two and calm himself, or at least shove all the crazed feelings away and focus on the now and not the crazy that was his mind. Although Hunter’s reasoning for not turning him in and hiding him really didn’t make sense. Just because he wanted to? There was way more to it then that, there had to be. Yet another emotion hit Blaine hard, one he had been dealing with all night. Fear. What if he was a stupid kid and imagining Hunter really wanting him. What if Hunter just found him interesting or something. Blaine was about ready to claw his brain out through his eyes but he hoped he was able to keep that off his face because again, Hunter didn’t need to deal with Blaine’s crazed emotions. He distracted himself with Hunter’s next words, and he blinked slightly at the fact he already had a plan. “Course I do.” Blaine breathed softly, how could he not? He’d be dead if he didn’t trust Hunter.

Blaine followed Hunter’s gaze up to look at the windows and he tipped his head slightly. “What would you paint?” he asked “Cause I think its nice just leaving it like that….or well…” Blaine paused and tipped his head in the other direction like he was trying to see all the angels to it. “Maybe with the windows a bit clear…” He laughed softly “You would get more birds trying to fly into it then though.” Even though the dirt Blaine could see the pinpricks of light dotting the sky and he sighed softly. “I bet.” He hummed when Hunter said it was pretty outside when the sun went down, and Blaine wasn’t sure if what swelled in him for a moment. It was likely want, a longing, for calm. Calm wasn’t something Blaine had had for a while, although right now, it felt as close to it as he could get. He never would have imagined that he’d find calm in Hunter’s bed. He made himself laugh just a bit mentally at that thought.

“No, that sounds about right.” Blaine said closing his eyes, it felt safer that way. His father had never hit him, but Blaine was always afraid of talking about him too loud. The whole not lying in Candor was used as a punishment more than anything. Robert Anderson knew how to humiliate his son. “He’s an ass.” Blaine said simply. “He’s not stupid, He knows who to treat with what he calls respect, but I’m sure he think’s he’s higher than everyone. He is pretty much running Candor even if he’s not technically leader yet.” Blaine said with a shake of his head “He knows how to get what he wants.”

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Initiation: Stage Two - Day 34 - Real Fear.

[dauntlessclarington]

“It wasn’t always like that.” That change came in the last year despite Hunter trying to veto it. The Dauntless Initiation process was hard enough and to have factionless ness looming over the Initiates on top of that was just torture. But the order had come from beyond his reach and his father had dismissed his input. Which had been a first as he hadn’t even let Hunter finish. One of the times where it was clear that something was up. Hunter hummed at the standard phrase everyone was hearing at least five hundred times in their lives.  “Your new family,” he confirmed, not being able to relate on a personal level. He had stayed in Dauntless, knowing he would wither up anywhere else. And maybe there was some sort of coward in him that hadn’t wanted to start new somewhere else and have to hide. A hint of a flinch moved his body backwards at Blaine’s bold words but his gaze didn’t move. He didn’t confirm or deny it and he didn’t need to. It couldn’t be more obvious. “I had planned to. But then I realized I couldn’t,” Hunter said quietly, a little rushed like he was sighing every word. “I’ll make sure no one notices.”

“You could say that. And the walls and windows make cracking noises from the frost growing on them. It’s kinda worrying,” he joked, lighting the mood between them in that moment. Blaine was close behind with his cheeky comment how it was not just him that he couldn’t reign in. “Maybe I need to work harder on keeping you occupied,” he stated and tipped his chin up defiantly and  in a silent challenge for Blaine to go behind his back and leave the compound again or something. Or something. Maybe Hunter’s mind thought about the events on the train again, with a snoring Sam just a couple feet away from them.

“I’ve met your father a couple of times when I was younger,” Hunter said, letting Blaine know that he had a vague idea about Anderson senior. The faction leaders were all very strict with their ideals ad beliefs. And everyone seemed to have a certain idea about what was good for the city as a whole. Hunter slowly laid a hand on Blaine’s shoulder and squeezed it lovingly. “I’m glad your brother is still there for you.” Hunter meant it. Sure he was still kind of mad that Blaine had gone against the rules but after almost losing him for good it had ebbed away slightly. “I’m still going to make you run laps tomorrow.”

[dauntlesslyblaine]

“Oh?” Blaine asked, part of him wanted to know just how long it had been that way, because eveyone around made it seem like it had always been that way...but then again most of the people Blaine interacted with were younger. Beiste was the only one that didn't seem to be in her twenties. The higher ups were all a mystery it seemed. Which was what made them more terrifying, they saw over them but the masses never saw them. Blaine nodded a bit at Hunter's words. “Yeah....although I honestly still don't feel like a part of it yet.....but thats nothing new from my old family really.” The whole fitting in thing was difficult for Blaine, it made the whole Divergent thing even more real for him. It felt like everyone had been at one big meeting that Blaine had missed and he just wasn't getting it. It wasn't like he wanted to be like everyone else,  but he did want to feel like he belonged. And after tonight? He had never felt more out of place and unwanted as he had in his whole life. Even Hunter saving him and bringing him up to his room meant that Blaine was different. If it was in a good or bad way Blaine didn't know, but it was impossible to not see how much he stood out from everyone.

It was amplified when Hunter flinched a bit. Blaine was something bad, Blaine was something that was suppose to be rid of. Yet Hunter “couldn't” Blaine's eyebrows pulled together again at the words finding himself confused again. “Why?” he asked, what made Blaine so special that Hunter of all people was going against orders. Was it this pull between them? Was it just as strong for Hunter as it was for Blaine? “How?” he asked “If you could see it from my simulations, everyone else is for sure going to see it. That’s probably one of the biggest things they look for next to if you can actually get through the damn thing.” Blaine sighed a bit and tried to ignore the hopeless feeling that was clawing at the edges.

Blaine smiled a bit at Hunter's joke and he looked up at the windows above them. “They look strong enough, you just gotta be worried that a bird crashes into it or something.” he teased before looking back at Hunter. “It must be nice in here when the sun is setting.” he said quietly. He loved Dauntless, but the whole place was dark, the idea of seeing light was really appealing to him. Blaine smiled a bit more when Hunter tipped his chin up “Maybe you do.” he hummed softly, if that meant more time with Hunter Blaine wasn't about to turn it down.

Blaine's smile fell a bit when Hunter mentioned he had met his father. Not surprising really, it was only a matter of time before Blaine's father became head of Candor, and it had been that way for as long as Blaine could remember. “So you know how much of an ass he is.” Blaine said quietly. There was no other way to put it, Blaine's father was a right ass. Blaine relaxed when Hunter's hand landed on his shoulder and he sighed softly “Me too.” he breathed before letting out a little laugh. “I'd expect nothing less.” he said.

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Initiation: Stage Two - Day 34 - Real Fear.

[dauntlessclarington]

Hunter let out the softest of laughs too. He took the sign that Blaine could still throw a somewhat witty comeback at him as a good sign that Blaine would get through this with just some scabs and a headache and nothing more serious. Still, before Blaine went into another simulation he would make sure he would get checked by Beiste. That was what Hunter’s mind was circling around in the background while having an eye on Blaine, who still seemed to smell like the cool breeze that  went through the chasm. 

“You know huh.” Hunter quirked an eyebrow and his voice had a tone that was clearly to remind Blaine of what he had just voiced. Which was the complete opposite. Then he cocked his head as far as the pillow under his neck would allow him. “What is that look supposed to tell me?” he wanted to know because that looked a lot like cónfusion on Blaine’s face. He wasn’t sure how to take that if he was being honest. Did Blaine really think that everything that had happened between them was meaningless now? Yeah, Hunter risked quite a lot with hiding what Blaine really was and by taking him up here but how could he not?

Blaine’s eyes seemed to widen at his touch and he almost snatched his hand away like he had been burned. Almost. He managed to let it retreat normally and hold Blaine’s gaze. “It’s not that easy.” Even before Blaine, the changes that went through the factions let him worry. Erudite and how controlling and power hungry they seemed to get lately. Hunter’s face softened a fraction at Blaine’s admission. He remembered how down the boy had been when no one came for him at Visitation Day, how he had wished his brother would show up. In a way, it was brave for Blaine to go looking for his brother even though……”You’re kind of making me look bad here. Like I can’t keep my own Initiates in check,” he stated dryly, then after a hum he added, “did he?”

[dauntlesslyblaine]

Blaine nodded just a bit. “yeah I know, its just hard not to get out of the frame of mind that if you mess up around here you're out.” He said softly. Blaine took a deep breath when Hunter asked him abut the look having not been successful in hiding his confusion. “Faction before Blood.” Blaine said softly. It was the whole reason Cooper was commanded not to come see Blaine, and the whole reason people like him were tossed aside and labeled as dangerous. “You know what I am.” Blaine said finally not even able to bring himself to say the word. “You're suppose to turn me in....and even if you don't it'll be clear when everyone watches my landscape.” He said before closing his eyes. Part of him was wondering if he should have just let the others throw him in the chasm. It might have been a less painful death then whatever the higher ups would do to him. And in all honesty Blaine wasn't sure were he stood with Hunter, obviously there was something between them but Blaine wasn't sure how much that something meant to Hunter. He was scared and unsure, and lost...

Blaine tipped his head a little bit into Hunter's touch when his brain finally registered the touch was soft and in no way dangerous, although that alone kinda made Blaine a little nervous but he pushed it aside for now. “Overthinker?” Blaine asked because there were nights were he couldn't sleep because his mind wouldn't shut off. Lately it had been easy for Blaine to fall asleep even after nights like the one on the train mostly because he had been so damn exhausted. Even now if they were quiet for long enough Blaine would likely pass out, but that might have been because Hunter's bed was a lot more comfortable then his and he was actually warm. Blaine smiled a bit at Hunter's statement. “Sorry. And it not all your initiates, just me.” Everyone else had gotten to see their families Blaine was the only one that didn't have some sort of visitor.

“No.” Blaine said with a little breath. “he had wanted to come see me but My father said no.” Blaine let his gaze drop from Hunter's face for a moment. “My father is a high up in Candor, so what he says goes and he's pretty strong on the whole Faction before Blood thing....especially when it comes to me.” Blaine had grown up with that damn phrase being pounded in his head, when ever he expressed wanting to see Cooper more those words were spit at him, when ever he acted out in any way it was drilled into him. The single didn't matter, so long as it helped the faction. When Blaine got attacked and he was sitting in a hospital bed by himself the words were practically branded on his mind. He wasn't important. The faction was.