It took all of my energy just to lift my ass out of my chair and get ready for Katie to get here. Everything happened so fast with Dave. The second we saw the green light, we crashed and burned. Part of me secretly hoped that he didn’t mean a word he said and he would come back and tell me he’s sorry, and he just wants to stay on Cody’s good side. But I knew that was too good to be true. He probably did mean it.
I changed into high waist bell bottoms, and a funky patterned sweater my mom got for me at some thrift shop. I ran a brush through my hair a few times and let it be. I needed some make up for once, to hide the sleep. I put on a bottom layer of eyeliner and a few coats of mascara. I waited out in the foyer for her on the steps, as usual. She let herself in the front door, brushing snow off of her coat and smoothing down her hair. She came with her athletic bag, and it looked like it was full of bottles. Her breath smelled like cigarettes.
“What’s going on?” she asked while hugging me, she sounded really concerned.
“I’ll tell you later, but can we just eat some ice cream and watch TV for awhile? I just kind of need your presence right now.” I said sheepishly.
She smiled and gave me a hug, and it kind of made me feel better and I smiled too.
“Sure. We can save the fun stuff for later.” she said, patting my back.
Hours went by and Katie and I filled up on ice cream, macaroni and cheese, and other comfort foods. We always ate a lot of food when we were sad. Mostly ice cream. Later into the night, after a drive around the neighborhood to smoke a joint, Katie and I decided to break into the goodies. It was a little after eleven now, still no sign of anyone coming home.
“First things first, we need music and booze. We can have the living room tonight. Cody’s out with...friends... And my parents are at a party for the night, lord knows they wont be coming home.”
Katie grinned, and we walked side by side into the living room. I didn’t want to piss off Cody more than I already have but his crates of records caught my eye. Do I dare touch any of them? Dave mentioned someone named Bowie...David Bowie?...
I knelt down and searched through his crates. The records were sorted alphabetically. I’m surprised Cody knows how to do that. My eyes raked over the D’s. I didn’t know which one to pick so I closed my eyes and chose randomly. I looked down and I picked The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. Soon the music started and I stayed on the floor, just staring at the wall in front of me. I was lost in thought. About nothing. Katie grabbed my shoulder and shook me.
“Hellooo?” she asked, laughing.
I looked up and smiled. She gave me her hand and pulled me up to my feet.
“So,” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest and smirking, “what did you bring me?”
She gave me a devious look as we sat down on the couch and she retrieved her bag. She dug through it and took out bottles of alcohol, a pipe, a bag with weed in it, a lighter, cigarettes, and a tiny bag of something white, it kind of looked like sugar or flour or something but I couldn’t tell.
“Okay, so we have some kind of rum, some kinda champagne, some straight up, strong ass, bitter vodka that I can’t pronounce, cigs, pot, and ummm...” she said, picking up the bag of whatever that white shit was. “I don’t think Brad meant to give this to me..” she said, looking shocked and confused.
“What is it?” I asked, taking the bag from her and checking it out myself.
“I think its..coke..” she said, bewildered.
I didn’t really know what to say either. I mean pot was one thing, but I’ve heard so many bad things about cocaine just looking at it right now is freaking me the fuck out.
“I’m fine with everything else, but we definitely shouldn’t touch that.” I said, and as she nodded in agreement I shoved it in the back of my jean pocket, more focused on the things in front of me. I was anxious to drown my sorrows in alcohol.
“What should we start with?” Katie asked me, examining all of of the bottles.
I was so new to drinking, I had no idea what to do or what not to do.
“Well, people celebrate with champagne right? Let’s do that first.” I suggested.
And after a minute or five, we figured out how to pop the bottle open and she let me take the first swig. It was bitter, and sweet. I wasn’t sure if I liked it so I took another sip, and Katie giggled at me before prying it out of my hands. She took a large sip for herself and rested the bottle in her lap for a moment.
“Back to the task at hand, what happened? You sounded terrible on the phone. And I’m not complaining but what’s with the special delivery?” she inquired.
“It happened really fast Katie. It was weird. You know I’ve always hated Dave...kind of.. right?” I asked her, chewing on my fingernails.
“Yeah, why? Did he say something mean to you like Cody does.”
I smiled but it was the farthest thing from a happy one.
“No. Hear me out, “ I began, and as I told her the story of what happened with Dave and I, we passed the bottle of champagne back and forth and it was nearly empty now.
I got the hiccups towards the end of my story, giggling away even though I still couldn’t shake this sad feeling.
“Wow..I can’t believe I got my first kiss before you and you’ve still gone farther than me. Holy shit, a first kiss and..and..” she slurred, pointing towards my crotch.
I took the last sip out of the champagne bottle and it was delicious to me now. I set the bottle down on the coffee table next to us.
“I can’t imagine how Cody feels.. But it’s hilarious at the same time. Cody treats you like shit and now finally he gives a rats ass about you?”
I sighed. “But Dave is his best friend. They’re like brothers. He put his trust in Dave to be a good friend you know? Plus I will never forget what Dave said to me in the bathroom. I am not a fucking child! Sometimes I’m more mature than everyone in this damn house. And-and I’m smart, and funny, and nice! Why is being nice so boring?” I let out, all at once, and slumped back on the couch, about to spark up a cigarette for the first time.
I noticed that when Dave, Cody, or generally anyone I knew who smoked, smoked when they were stressed. I took my first puff and let it out immediately, not used to the taste at all. I coughed a little.
“You’re not boring Candice, I think you’re fun! I mean, look what we’re doing right now! This is fun, and it was your idea. I think Dave’s just scared, you know? You’re a couple years younger than him after all. I know what he said hurt you, but you can’t let it. You’re stronger than that. And you were right when you said it happened fast, so maybe he’s realized that too and is cooling off, but just didn’t know how.”
“You’re a genius, and I love you.” I said, handing her the joint.
I laid back a little more and took a deep breath, relaxing and feeling the vibes from the music, nodding my head.
“Your eyes are so squinty!” Katie laughed at me, handing me the joint once again.
I puffed on it and handed it back to her, deciding to try another cigarette. Katie told me I had to inhale it just like I did when I smoked a joint. It went a lot better this time, but it was still hard to take the taste. I got lightheaded after smoking a couple, and opened up the bottle of vodka.
“Hey D I wanted to talk to you.” Cody greeted me.
Back stage at the show the guys and I were cleaning things up and packing up the van. I knew Cody would be there but we didn’t talk about it beforehand. I smiled, a bit surprised at him. I set down a piece of my drum set and tucked my sweaty hair behind my ears.
“Of course, what’s up?” I asked.
“It’s about the whole thing with Candice...”
“Cody, I can’t tell how how sorry I am-” and he stopped me.
“Stop, I want to say something.” he insisted. “I’ll admit that seeing you and her like “that” was really fucking disgusting, but if it’s what you both want, then.. I guess I don’t care. But like, can you be gross with her when I’m not around and like.. be safe about it?”
I chuckled a little, and he did too.
“Yeah, yeah, for sure. But you don’t have to worry about it anymore. I don’t think that’s going to happen again.” I said a bit sullenly. “She’s in school and I’m not, I’m touring and well..” I trailed off, and shrugged.
Cody rubbed his chin and nodded slowly.
“I get it I get it. But hey, I support whatever you do or don’t do or whatever. I’m sorry for lashing out. Great show tonight man, when you guys clean up and shit meet me out back, come hang at my place tonight.” Cody said to me.
I was lost in thought about Candy and how I left her in the bathroom. I snapped out of it, still frowning.
“Thanks, I’ll see you out there in a few.” I said, and he patted my shoulder as he walked away and to the exit.
Cody seemed puzzled as he pulled into the driveway, seeing a car a little nicer than his own sitting in his spot.
“Must be one of Candy’s friends. They’re probably sleeping now.” he said.
I tossed my cigarette as I exited the car, looking up at the night sky just for a moment, taking a deep breath. It was midnight, and Candy would most definitely be sleeping by now. But I had to prepare myself in case I see her anyway. The lights were on outside and from what we could see in the windows, there was movement in the house and lights on. We looked at each other and shrugged as we entered the house, the sound of a Black Flag record playing in the background. Cody and I stopped in our tracks after he closed the door. The house smelled like weed and cigarette smoke, and the girls were laughing and screaming hysterically.
In the living room, Katie was dancing around and holding a bottle of rum. Candice, barefoot, on top of the coffee table with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth stopped dancing wildly and looked at me, and smirked. She took her cigarette out of her mouth to sip the vodka, and made a face after swallowing it. Cody was speechless. Her eyes were bloodshot, and still beautiful. Some of her makeup had smudged under her eyes and made her even sexier. Her hair was a wild mess, and she kept dancing on top of the table, the wrong kind of dancing for this music but she enjoyed it nonetheless, cigarette in one hand and the bottle of vodka in the other. Her hips swayed and I couldn’t help but lick my lips.
“Guys! Hey!” Katie said cheerfully, finally greeting us.
Both of them were extremely drunk, and high. And since when did either of them start smoking cigarettes? Katie turned the music down and Cody still looked like he had seen a ghost.
“What the fuck is going on..” he finally said.
Candy stumbled down from the table, and left her bottle there. Her cigarette was pressed between her lips, and she eyed both of us both and down, and no more smiles. She glared at me now. It almost hurt..
“I didn’tttt umm... I didn’t think you’dbe home soooo sooon.” she slurred, ashing her cigarette in the nearest flower vase.
“You’re wasted. I can smell liquor on your breath and you’re high as fuck. Why? You’ve never done this before.. why now?” he asked, his voice more relaxed.
She shrugged, her eyes meeting mine once. Katie stood next to her awkwardly, playing with her hair and looking down.
“Because I never get to have fun Cody! I never have fun. I always hide in my room and study or read or something stupid and smart and ugh! I’m tired of being this model kid who is dying to quit the act and do what I want.” she said, and suddenly she looked shocked, like she shouldn’t have said that.
She covered her mouth with her hand and blinked a few times.
“Maybe you should go sleep in mom and dads big bed tonight, okay C?” Cody said to her, suddenly being nice, almost nurturing.
“Katie, you can sleep in Candice’s room tonight, okay? Please go get comfortable and lay down, okay? You both need a lot of rest so you’re not fucked in the morning.” he chuckled. “I’m gonna help you up the stairs but then it’s up to you at that point, kay?” he asked Candy. “Think you can change and get yourself in bed by yourself?”
“Yeah..” she nodded. “Yeah.” she repeated, looking down at the floor as he helped her walk away.
I started to clean up but barely got to it once Cody came back downstairs.
“How’s she doing?” I asked.
He smiled a little. “She’ll be okay in the morning.”
I smiled a little. “Good. You’re a good brother.” I added.
It was quiet for a moment before Cody scratched his head and began to clean up downstairs. I helped him with the bottles and opened the windows for a little to get the stink out. When we finished, Cody got himself a glass of water and headed towards his room.
“I’m going to bed. You can sleep on the floor in my room, or on the couch. Your call. Night.” he said, and closed his door.
I waited for his light to turn off and I tiptoed up the stairs. The bathroom door was open in their parents master bedroom. I could hear the sink running. The light was a golden-yellow, and Candice looked so beautiful in it, her hair still a mess and her make up still smudged. Even when she brushes her teeth. She spit, then rinsed her mouth out with water before drying it off. I stepped into the bathroom and looked at her reflection in the mirror. It took up one whole wall, with big light bulbs framing it, illuminating the room. Candy leaned against the counter top, her sweater rising as she did so, exposing her hips a little. Her jeans hugged her perfectly.
“Why are you in here?” she asked me softly, her eyes sad.
I closed the door. I didn’t know what to say, but I wanted her this very second. I stepped closer to her and placed my arms on either side of her, my hands resting on the counter top. Our faces were close and she stared at me. I pressed my forehead against hers and closed my eyes, then placed my hands on her hips and lifted her up onto the counter. Our lips locked instantly as she wrapped her legs around me. Her kisses were so innocent and sweet, and I was aggressive with her. She moaned as our tongues touched, wrapping her arms around my neck, and I kissed her harder, biting her lower lip and she pulled herself closer to me, then stopped to rip her shirt off over her head, leaving her in a soft pink bra, her skin so soft and smooth too, pale and beautiful.
“Touch me again.” she whispered.
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