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Depeche Mode - Shake the Disease (1985 - The Singles 81→85 - Catching Up With Depeche Mode)

Woke with this playing in my head.

—

Lyrics

I'm not going down on my knees,

Begging you to adore me

Can't you see it's misery

And torture for me

When I'm misunderstood

Try as hard as you can, I've tried as hard as I could

To make you see

How important it is for me

Here is a plea

From my heart to you

Nobody knows me

As well as you do

You know how hard it is for me

To shake the disease

That takes hold of my tongue

In situations like these

Understand me

Some people have to be

Permanently together

Lovers devoted to

Each other forever

Now I've got things to do

And I've said before that I know you have too

When I'm not there

In spirit I'll be there

Here is a plea

From my heart to you

Nobody knows me

As well as you do

You know how hard it is for me

To shake the disease

That takes hold of my tongue

In situations like these

Understand me

#depeche mode #dave gahan #martin gore #1985 #80s #shake the disease #catching up with depeche mode #music video #lyrics #The Singles 81→85 #favourite #blonde dave #peter care dir #peter care

pt 2

I was in another world with Dave. His hands were so magical and soft. I pulled him closer to me, wrapping my arms around his neck and breathing heavily in his ear. I had never felt this way before. This feeling of pressure built up inside of me as Dave continued to touch me. I opened my eyes, a breathy and soft moan coming out of my parted lips as he looked down at me, biting his lip. I moaned again, keeping my eyes open. The lights in my room suddenly turned on, and Dave stopped what he was doing. Cody was standing in the doorway, looking as if he was going to be sick. I pushed Dave off of me and pulled my blanket over my lower body.

“C-Cody..” I stuttered, still trying to catch my breath.

“I think I’m going to be sick.” Cody said, his voice dripping with disgust.

Dave ran a hand through his hair and looked up at Cody. His face was red with embarrassment.

“Cody..man..I’m so sorry.”

Cody pulled on his short hair and shook his head a few times.

“Just..just shut the fuck up Dave. Get out of my BABY sisters room!” he yelled.

My eyes started to water. I was so scared my parents would come downstairs and see this.

“Oh, now you care about her?” Dave spat out.

Cody scrunched up his face in anger.

“Guys..” I said quietly, trying to get their attention.

“Is this what you do when I’m not here? Come over and touch her? You’re fucking sick, Grohl. She’s SIXTEEN!” Cody yelled again.

Dave put his head his hands for a second, then stood up and paced the floor. I sat up in bed, my knees tucked to my chest.

“No. No. I swear to god this is the first and only time this has happened. Cody..I’m sorry.”

He took an apologetic step towards him, but Cody pushed him away.

“Guys!” I yelled.

They couldn’t fight. Not here, not now. My parents..

They both looked at me and suddenly I felt dizzy. I pushed back the covers of my bed quickly and ran to the bathroom, falling to the floor and vomiting in the toilet. At the sound of me spitting and gagging, both boys rushed to the bathroom. Both of them knelt at either side of me. Dave ran his hands through my hair and Cody rubbed my back soothingly.

“Shit..C..you okay?” Cody asked.

I wiped my mouth and coughed up bile.

“Stop. Fighting.” I muttered. “Please.”

They both nodded as I sat up and Cody leaned forward to flush the toilet.

“I’m sorry.” I said to both of them.

My mother and father came into my room, both looking sleepy and slightly worried.

“What’s going on in here? Are you okay sweetie?” my mother asked.

My father looked down questioningly at Dave and Cody.

“Yeah, fine. Candy was just getting worked up about a test she has this week. You know how she gets.”

“What test?” my father asked.

I couldn’t think of anything. I had no tests coming up. I couldn’t lie to my parents. It would make me sick again.

“AP biology.” Dave suddenly said.

They were both covering for me, and for themselves. I nodded as if I was going along with it. I sighed.

“I’m fine, I promise.” I said, looking up and giving both of my parents a fake smile.

“Okay. Please take care of her, boys.” my mother said, before she and my dad made their way up the stairs.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Dave asked.

I looked at both of them, feeling disgusted with myself for letting Dave see me this way.

“Yes, I’m fine now. Cody, please don’t be mad. Neither of us knew this was going to happen. It just..happened..”

Cody shook his head, a little confused.

“Candice, shit like this doesn’t ‘just happen’. What if you two had ended up sleeping together? You know? You’re still a kid and Dave..well..Dave isn’t a kid, Candice.”

“I’m not a child, Cody. I think I can handle a situation like this.”

Cody shook his head at me and stood up.

“I just.. I can’t. I’m not okay with this. I can’t be. I’ll be in my room.”

“Cody-” I began to say, but he was gone.

I sighed and looked down at the tiled floor. Dave looked at me with sad eyes. What would happen now? Dave helped me up, and watched me brush my teeth.

“Candy..I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” he said, not even looking at me. “I should go.”

I wiped my mouth with a washcloth.

“Y-you can’t go. Neither of us knew this was going to happen. It’s not your fault.” I said, turning around and facing him.

I leaned against the porcelain sink, watching him as he continued to feel and look uneasy.

“Don’t go.” I said again, my voice soft.

“I have to. Cody is right Candice..this shouldn’t have happened. You’re just a kid still.”

My eyes filled with tears. How could he? It was as if everything that happened before hadn’t happened at all. Was he just using me? Did he really like me? I let a few tears fall. He stood there, not saying anything.

“Right. Yep.” I nodded, sniffling to myself, trying to build up the courage to face him. “I guess that’s all I’ll ever be.”

He looked up at me, not sure what to make of what I just said.

“That’s not what I said.”

I shrugged, and leaned over to turn the shower on hot, more tears coming out of me, slilently.

“You didn’t have to say it.” I said, my voice cracking.

“I don’t know what I was thinking.” Dave said, and he stormed out of the bathroom, slamming my bedroom door shut.

I sobbed as I stripped out of my pajamas, and stepped into the shower. I put my hands and palms against the wall, letting the water pour all over me. I couldn’t stop crying. I knew this was too good to be true. He was friends with Cody after all. I don’t remember how long I stayed in the shower for, but when I got out, it was around four in the morning. I put on a large jumper sweater, underwear, and laid in bed. It was too late to call Katie, so I tried to sleep for a few hours. It didn’t work though, I tossed and turned, my head spinning. I laid in bed, motionless until one in the afternoon. No had come to check on me or even talked to me. My mouth was dry and my eyes hurt. I went and sat at my desk, and picked up the phone to call Katie.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Thank god you picked up.” I said, my voice hoarse.

“Candy? What’s wrong? You sound sick or something. Should I be worried?”

I sighed. “Katie..I don’t know what I did, but I fucked up.”

“You don’t swear that often...what’s going on?”

I toyed with the phone cord for a minute.

“Candy? You there?” she asked.

“I’m here. Sorry. I was just..thinking. Hey, are you hanging out with Cooper at all today?”

“No. Do you want me to come over? I’m worried about you.”

I started to cry. “Please come over. And bring any illegal substances you can get your hands on.” I said, and hung up, slamming my head against the desk.

#Dave Grohl #Blonde Dave #Foo Fighters #Nirvana #Sonic Highways #The Coulour and The Shape #echoes silence patience and grace #wasting light #dave grohl fanfic #dave grohl fanfiction #fanfic #fanfiction #music #update #scream