Gibb & Adler - an Adler & Gibb fic
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The grass is cooler than the air, and I am thinking about our dog, on the floor back in our house. There was no blood on him, or the floor. It was as if he was asleep. Like it was when you went. But there’s blood just pouring out of me. “There,” the actress is saying – the actress wearing our old clothes – “the art dog and the art wife. Two for two.” “Busy... night...”, her coach pants weakly from somewhere further off. I hear her toss the gun into our grass and I see her face appear turned sideways like a slide tossed across a projector. "You have been real helpful, Margaret. I really think I've had a breakthrough. I'm going to do such a good job with her. Really. You'd be so proud if you saw it. I mean, obviously that's not going to happen. But if you did see it- I'm gonna be just like her. And I'll share her with everyone." I fill my lungs and something rattles inside me. Just enough to tell her. Tell her I watched you fade away. My partner, my audience. Just as we had got away from that noisy world which was drowning us out, just as we had built ourselves a house, a theatre for us and no-one else. Tell her how I told you stories about the first time we met. How it had already been written so large in our imaginations that the real details of that exhibition - the radiator, the posters, how we looked, what we said - were paltry. Forgotten by you, and grey to me, in comparison to that myth of us that we had told each other. And tell her that although everyone thought I was the strong one, I wasn't. That I needed you because it was like the sun was shining directly on my brain when you were near me. And tell her that I held your cold head in my hands, your chest across my lap, for a whole two days as I wondered what to do - knowing I only wanted to follow you, knowing I couldn't. I'd tried that years ago, when the pills didn't take, and knew the journey back was worse than taking leave. We were leashed together like climbers. And when you fell my crampons hugged the rock and my hand shook but stayed firm, and I held you up. Remember when we wore the same clothes in New York and laughed when people confused us and we did each other so well and you said it was your favourite piece of all because it was for no one but us? I have enough breath to whisper how I told the authorities it had been me. That Adler, not Gibb, had gone. I have enough breath to say I'd been playing you from the moment I heaved your head off my lap and fixed myself your favourite meal. Enough breath to say that it was easy - that you came to me like a party piece and I was so pleased, somewhere in the mind which I was trying to give over to you, because you'd always said that the best art felt effortless. I let the nature come in because you'd loved it so much. I wouldn't give the dog treats because you never did, and I took it for those long walks you loved more and more because I knew that's how you'd make peace with life without me. How I wished it had been you grieving for me, and so I let you do it, freely. How I took a job in a gas station because you needed to eat, because you would never leave that house. A piece just for you. The audience remembered by the artist. The artist undone in the process. The least consumable work I could conceive of. It was for no one else. Because: who else was there? I decide she doesn't need to know. Just like every time. It's better for the work, if they never know. And my head feels so light now, I can feel your clenched hands and your pursed lips relax. Your bad knee, which I perfected over years loosens and becomes mine. It's over. I'm becoming me. It's been a long time. I'm becoming me again, and I'm following you. Tumbling after. Impersonation Piece #1. Gibb by Adler. My best.
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For more on Tim Crouch’s Adler & Gibb see www.adlerandgibb.com and www.royalcourttheatre.com/whats-on/adler-and-gibb.












