10:20 something, thursday, jan 23, 2025
i just had the cutest dream about jay ar
idk the setting, it's like in school but also somewhere cozy because instead of the school chairs, we had couches
and soooo, not sure if that me and jay ar are now on good terms but just as distant friends but
(we were not in the same room at the time btw, it was like some that we're in school and they were in immersion or vice versa)
not sure if it was him, but it was suggested that we head home together to idk hang out or something
at first i was like uhhh nooooo-
because i wanted to but me and kei always head home together, ihahatid ko siya, and that's how it's always is, and i would feel very guilty to just leave her behind like that for a boy
but then kei was like- no it's okay
said something about how it's okay anyways because (maybe? i'm not sure about this but-) i think her mom is gonna pick her up? or they're going somewhere
because it turns out na nagtatampo mama ni kei pag like- (ano kasi, her mom is there at her house for the time being) tapos nagtatampo pag kunwari magkasama sila sa bahay tapos may magchachat sa kanya
gusto ng mama niya isulit nila pagsasama nila
so kei insisted na it's okay, that me and jay ar should go spend time with one another ganun
nakaupo kaming lahat sa mahabang sofa thing sa school, si jay ar andito na
and he was sitting close to me, with kei in between us, pero si kei nakaurong siya to the end part of the chair
kaya me and jay ar talked clearly/see each other ganun
and omg he was so cute, kinikilig siya and nahihiya pero he forced through it kasi gusto niya ako makausap (perhaps namiss ako ng sobra na gusto niya lang talaga isulit)
and all around us, there was trixy, and other female classmates, and there was even mami! i have no idea why
so that's why when he asked me something, i became really self conscious
he couldn't handle it anymore and asked me if he could hug me
and i wanted it too but i felt so self conscious
so i was trying to nonchalantly kinda reject him saying how- "huhh? ang daming tao" "si kei maiipit gaga" basta ganun
but then he was already going in for the hug (he kind of layed down on the sofa and came close to me with his arms outstretched)
and i felt all nervous because dudeee there was trixy watching and mami! i didn't know what they would think and that made me nervous as fuckkk
but i really wanted the hug
so despite me blabbering about how we shouldn't right now, na maiipit si kei na nasa gitna namin and maiistorbo siya-
-i took in and reciprocated the hug with absolutely no protest
now we're kind of cuddling on the sofa, (we're both kind of laying on the sofa like this: \°/ where the slashes are me and jay ar and kei is the circle at the top)
all my thinking and worrying actually fucking melted away the second we were embracing one another
FUCK i missed his hugs, his warmth, his calming scent, everything about it melted my mind away and i just wanted to stay there forever
but yeah i think i heard a comment from someone and was sent back to reality, ending the short cuddling session albeit with much regret
so yeah... a blushing fool i am
and idk- i guess that was like the confirmation he needed or something? because after that he started saying how much he missed me, and that this time he's gonna treat me better, and other sweet stuff i couldn't really remember
and so in my head i was huhhhh??
i guess he thought/wanted that we went back to the way things way(?) because i guess he thinks after that that we're back together or something
and i wanted him too so i just took it all in, but this time i was being more nonchalant, pretending saying that we shouldn't be doing this or something like that
fast forward, we're cuddling again, idk if it's the same setting but more private because most people have left, or if it's a bedroom or something and we were cuddling on the bed
and everything was heaven, he was so sweet to me, being like how i was before, and me acting all nonchalant
it was like bumabawi siya? or idk maybe he just really missed me and he wanted na idk isulit talaga ang pagsasama kasi matagal niya na itong gusto mangyari
he was all like- okay na tayo ha? magchachat ako sayo- ganun ewan basta ganun pero hindi ganun
tapos idk i guess he decided na kami na, and i didn't protest
tapos yun, he was holding my hand and kissing it like how he did before
his cute giggles because he couldn't believe this is happening
burying his face in my neck and inhaling my scent
him talking about sweet stuff
him looking at me in the eyes in the most sincere way i've ever seen anyone
saying i love you, i missed you
and doing his iconic "hmm!" when i say something that flusters him or something
tita and the mag anak are here in the house
i haven't opened my ig since the last night, also kind of purposely(?)
idk if it was just that i didn't feel like talking to him or if it's that i want to see how he would be like if i didn't text him the whole day
i opened it in the evening around 6 maybe
puro long message at ang dami🥹😭
dream me didn't get to read it but as i was scrolling through it, it was so much messages, and they were all so sweet (nasabi ko yun because of the emojis, i didn't get to read them)
parang every hour or every 2 hours nagchachat siya, tapos puro long message
and i felt a bit guilty but also satisfied seeing that he actually cares
AHHHHHH OMG I LOVED THIS SO MUCH
gracieabrams
izzy806
snowghoul
origamiaround
ellievsbear
andulkaphoto
titsay
amandla
