@dawnroads. → from here.
❝ do you know how long i’ve waited for you? ❞
do you know how long i’ve waited for you , he says , as if you had not prayed for someone like him in the lonely days of your youth. with his hair like the starlight , cheeks dotted with freckles like the starry expanse above you. he is everything good & everything bright in the world , & you don’t know what you did to deserve him , but he’s here with you now & you couldn’t be more thankful.
you wonder if this what people mean when they talk about the light at the end of the tunnel . but you are not yet out of that tunnel , & yet he’s here , he’s here , he’s here & for the love of everything good in the world , everything good in you , you hope he intends to stay.
you don’t want to think about what will happen to you if he doesn’t.
even if you knew , even if you thought you would end up here , like this , you would not have asked him to wait. you were gone too long , missed too much , you are no different than you were then , & he is someone new entirely. you’re afraid sometimes to hold him , you’re afraid that somehow some careless , broken part of you might find him , might hurt him.
at the same time that you want to push him away , you want to keep him closer.
‘ i mean…i really hope you didn’t. ’
the words i’m not something worth waiting for linger behind your teeth , they burn when you swallow them down. he will say you are , & you will not argue with the boy made of light , who loves you in ways you didn’t think you deserved , didn’t think you could know .
it would ruin you to lose him , you think.
you don’t say it , but you love him , you love him like sunshine , love him like daffodils , love him like it’s all you can do , all you were made for. you love him like your hands weren’t made for fighting wars but for holding him , you love him like nothing inside you ever died , like nothing ever hurt you that couldn’t be fixed , you love him like it’s what you were meant for , perhaps because you think it is.
& maybe you don’t have to , maybe he knows. you hope he does , you hope he knows you love him. because , you think , loving him makes you love yourself a little bit , like maybe , just maybe , if someone like him can love someone like you , maybe you’re not so bad. maybe you’re not everything they say about you , that your heart is not soaked in pitch if it beats when he looks at you , when he smiles. that you are not so terrible down to your core if he comes home to you , that your touch doesn’t corrupt like you feared it would when you touch him.
if that’s not love , you would wonder what is.
love like this , you think when you kiss him ( because of course you’ll kiss him when he fixes his eyes on you , you don’t even wait for him to ask because he won’t , he doesn’t have to anymore , you know what that look means , if only because you want to kiss him just as much ) , is the thing people write fairytales about , the thing people fought wars for. although , you think , perhaps you did fight a war for this , but when he smiles at you , you’d fight another if you had to , or more , you would wait a thousand years if it meant you come home to him.
& you know it’d all be worth it when he kisses you again.
dededos
stormborns
kaledo-art
origamiaround
dailybridgerton
2087
