isaiahsmh:
a fist clenched and unclenched at his side, her words stinging him a bit more than isaiah cared to admit. “don’t fucking say that.” it wasn’t as though he didn’t deserve anything she decided to throw at him and in fact, he deserved more. isaiah figured she would at least pound her fists into her chest, leaving bruises against skin that shielded a broken heart he wouldn’t dare share with anyone. “don’t fucking joke about that.” he knew there was most likely nothing in anyone’s thoughts — including his own — that argued against the belief that he wouldn’t be a shitty dad for naomi and even he had to think about it for a while before convincing himself he wasn’t such a bad guy but god did it hurt to hear this is what daya thought of him. from their conversations of a possible future to discussing how much adoration they held for one another in that same moment, isaiah would have never thought this is what they would result in. four years ago he wouldn’t have imagined being in the same room with daya and not be able to hold her, touch her, or kiss her without a lack of fear of there being some sort of consequence yet here they were. realistically only a few inches away but in isaiah’s mind it felt as though they weren’t even in the same universe.
as soon as she took a step back, isaiah was on it and stepped forward to lessen whatever distance created. she had been so close and he didn’t want her to be any further away because four years of waking up and realizing he lost her was more than enough to haunt him for the remainder of his life. was it foolish of him to believe she remained the love of his life? to this day he didn’t want anybody else and he had known that since before they were together. four years ago he wouldn’t have thought he’d be here holding himself from kissing daya and he definitely wouldn’t have to think twice about it yet here he was, thinking twice about everything. his first thought was to not place his hand on her side because that’s not something you just do with anybody, right? so instead, isaiah placed the hand that loitered along her arm flat against her lower back, slightly pulling her towards him. “i can be serious. i’ll be anything you want me to be.” he tilted his head, his voice a low whisper as eyes trailed over every aspect of her face he memorized years ago and new details he would have already had ingrained to his mind had he not stepped on the plane that night. kissing her didn’t seem like a bad idea and in this moment it was all he wanted to do but there was something holding him back. was it naomi? was it daya? was it him? a combination of all three was the appropriate answer. naomi didn’t deserve a set of fucked up parents and this encounter was most definitely not going to fix anything. daya deserved to move on and find happiness so kissing her while he knew she was still in love with him wouldn’t aid in that matter and him? he didn’t deserve her love; not after leaving her and not after lying about his own feelings. there were more reasons for him to not kiss her than in favor of but isaiah still felt himself lean in to connect their lips but their mouth didn’t make contact; instead he placed a small kiss on the corner of her mouth because at least that was something.
daya let out a tiny scoff at his words and put a finger to her lips in mock thought before responding, “or what? you’re gonna do what you do best and leave again if i say something that doesn’t sit quite right with you? just like you did the last time? go ahead, nothing’s holding you back.” holding grudges was the wrong thing to do, especially in a situation as twisted as theirs was, daya knew that very well, but the brunette just couldn't help it. when he'd stepped foot on that plane four years ago he had hurt her like no one else ever had and no one else ever would, she was sure of that, so it was rather difficult for her to try and look past it, though she knew that she should. even if it was only to make it easier on all of them, that is if it even was possible to make it any easier on them. “who said i was joking?” daya challenged, lips pressed into a thin line. pointing her finger at his chest, she began to talk again, "i didn't tell you anything about her for four years, so what exactly makes you think i wouldn't continue if something you do rubs me the wrong way?" daya mused, tilting her head upwards the slightest bit to look up at him. "call me a bitch, but i have no problem cutting you off and forgetting about you just as quick as you did with me." lies. of course she was only telling lies. she had a feeling that she would never be able to cut him off, but that wasn't something he necessarily needed to know. she had already told him that she still found herself week in the knees over him and that was more than he even deserved to know. because in all honestly, daya wanted so badly to tell him that she hated him with every fibre of her being, but it was the complete opposite and would probably be for a long time; she loved him with every fibre of her being.
she wanted to take yet another step back but resisted, her limbs feeling too heavy to move so instead she stood frozen in place, only a few inches away from the man she referred to as the love of her life and always would. she knew that it was wrong, knew that she should get as far away from him as possible, because would she ever get over him like that? the answer was no. but daya wasn’t even sure if she wanted to get over him to begin with. life without him just didn't seem like something she would consider. ever. “anything? i want you to be someone that leaves me the fuck alone then.” but yet opposed to what she’d just said daya found herself only wanting to do one thing; kiss him. she wanted to, so bad. she didn’t ever want him to leave her alone. god, even if they would end up fighting for the rest of their lives, she never wanted for him to leave her alone. in fact, she wanted to wrap her arms around him and pull him closer to her own body, feel his warmth and his scent that she’d missed so much during these four dreadful years without him and tell him to never leave again. her brain was screaming with the need to feel his lips against hers and maybe, if she was lucky, feel his arms wrap around her frame. so when she felt his hand on her lower back and him pulling her closer to his own figure, daya could’ve sworn her heart skipped a beat. but instead of telling him to not get any closer like her mind told her to do, she raised her hand up, carefully placing it on his chest, as if he was going to break, or worse, move. what followed was surely not something daya had expected, it completely caught her off guard. she'd thought that he'd pull away, maybe even that he would make yet another cruel remark about her only being mad because kissing him was in fact all she wanted to do, but none of that ever came and instead he pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth, making her breath hitch in her throat. when she shook herself out of her stupor a moment later because she realized she probably looked ridiculous all she thought to say was, “uh.. we shouldn't .. no.”