Hey guys, i made a kaistal one shot, please read and enjoy!!
-Soojung-ah, are you ready?-the brown haired girl felt a soft hand waking her up the moment the van stopped, the music was still bursting her ears when she noticed where she was.
-Where are we oppa?-her manager smiled and pointed to a white sheet of paper where the “W Korea shoot” phrase was highlighted.
-I thought you would know before getting into the van, you always ask where I’m taking you.
-It’s not like I care anymore-the girl checked her phone just to find the amount of messages she expected. None.
-People’s been asking if you changed your phone.
-I didn’t-the girl actually had her old phone turned off all the time, her family and a few close friends were the only ones allowed to know her new phone, the one she actually was willing to pick up.
-I’ll be waiting inside, do you need something?-she thought of thousands of answers to that question: maybe a break from shoots, leaving the company that betrayed her sister, quitting this profession that didn’t make her happy anymore; but she just said:
-No, thanks oppa-and closed her eyes falling into silence once again.
Jung Soojung was tired of everything and everyone, she hated the smiles people gave to her when she knows everyone hates her, she hates the company that it’s breaking her group of friends apart and she hates the people that betrayed her sister and smiles at her like nothing ever happened.
-Just a year and the contract ends Soojung, be strong-she says to herself before taking her purse and getting off the van.
People is rushing around the set with cameras and clothes the moment she enters with soft steps, it’s almost like she’s invisible while she walks towards her manager that talks happily with a beautiful woman Soojung swears has seen before. That woman holds a camera and smiles when she notices Soojung approaching.
-Good morning Krystal-shi -Soojung bows and the woman introduces herself as the director of the shoot, she barely says anything as the woman talks about the concept and what the magazine asked her to do with her, when she mentions the guys Soojung lifts her eyebrow.
-Oh, they didn’t told you we’re filming with your friends-Soojung looks at her manager but he avoids her stare.
-My friends?-a lot of names cross her mind but when the pair of names come out of the director’s mouth she curses mentally, she’s going to kill her manager when the shoot is over.
-Anyways, I already told your manager where your changing room is, see you in a while-both of them bow to each other and Soojung lets out the air she didn’t know she was holding in, her manager indicates a direction and she moves with him, when the door of the changing room is closed her manager speaks first.
-I know you’re mad but it was direct orders from the company, I did mention the shoot and if you asked I would’ve told you who was going to be here but…
-I’m not doing it-her mind screamed “NO” and her heart moved with the sound of his name coming out of the director’s mouth-There’s no way I’m shooting with him.
-You already did it once-she blushes at the memory of 2 years ago, her heart almost popping out of her chest-besides, it’s not just you and…
-Don’t say his name, it makes me sick-she sits and takes the brand new phone to text the only person who could actually tell her what to do.
-There’s no way back Soojung-ah, we’re already here and…
-Give me 5 minutes-the manager looks helpless when he closes the door of the changing room behind him.
“Just prove him it doesn’t hurt you anymore, just be a professional like you’ve always been. Prove them you’re my sister”
Jung Soojung took a deep breath before saying “I’ll do it” to her manager, the poor man showed his relief and the 21 years old girl felt guilty for causing so much trouble to a man that does nothing but taking care of her. She waits for the stylist in her room praying for the day to be over soon, but her clock barely hits 8 am so she texts Amber telling her about the situation and she almost turns on her other phone to tell Jinri (the only friend who was besides her when everything happened) about it.
When someone knocks her door she holds her breath and lets it out in relief when she sees a blue haired girl entering with a bunch of clothes and a bag for makeup.
-Hello Krystal-shi I’m Lee Hana and I’m your stylist today, I’m not sure if you remember me but we worked together last year for a shoot-she doesn’t but she smiles and sits in front of the mirror, her recently washed hair is wet and falls down from her thin shoulders, she sees the same reflection she has seen her whole life but a spark of excitement (that she hates) covers her face.
-How many outfit changes are there?-Soojung points to the bunch of clothes hanging behind her and Hana smiles when she says.
-About nine or ten, you’re so lucky-Soojung puts a questioning face and Hana giggles-They’re so pretty, I would die to use one of those pieces someday.
-They’re not comfortable believe me.
-At least you’re taking the photos with those two-Soojung gets tense at the mention of them but tries to keep her face straight when she asks.
-They arrived a while ago, they are so handsome in person-Soojung doesn’t says a word for the rest of the hour, her hair looks amazing when Hana is over and the makeup fits any of the outfits placed in front of her. She’s told to use a pair of shorts and a white shirt for the first pictures, she stars to shake as she puts her shoes on and she curses under her breath when Hana opens the door.
-You ready?-the director comes closer and asks Hana a bunch of things but Soojung finds herself avoiding to look straight ahead, she’s too scared to see him and she starts to regret her decision-Come with me Krystal-shi please.
She follows the director steps trying really hard to avoid any eye contact with anybody, she remembers her sister talking over the phone and decides to be strong, so she looks straight ahead for the first time. Bad luck for her because Kim Jongin stands tall in front of them and his eyes are staring at hers with such intensity she finds herself holding her breath, she wants to act strong and prove him it doesn’t hurt the way it used to hurt, so she hopes she’s a better liar now than she was the last time.
-Soojung ah-when Taemin walks towards them a wave of relief surrounds the air, he’s her savior now and forever, at least his presence means she won’t be alone with Jongin today.
-Oppa-she smiles but feels Jongin staring at her, the director keeps saying stuff to him but she smiles to her friend, her support. They talk about trivial things until the director calls for their attention.
-As I told you earlier Krystal-shi the concept is a love triangle between childhood friends, you’re dating Taemin-shi but Kai-shi is in love with you, that’s basically how the photos are going to be taken, I need longing in your eyes and beauty from inside showing out, I need to feel the story with just your stare.
It turns out that the shoot is worse than she expected, there’s a lot of skinship involved and she finds herself holding her breath every time Jongin’s hand touches her somewhere and avoiding any kind of eye contact when the director asks them to get closer. By the time they get a break from lunch Soojung is mentally drained and fearing the second session of photos to come.
-You did well-her manager hands her a lunch box that she devours in a matter of minutes just to rush to her changing room, Amber sent a bunch of encouraging messages in the hours that slowly passed besides her old friend, her heart was beating fast and her legs went weak, she couldn’t do it for 6 more hours, she would die before going out again.
-Can I pass?-a knock on her door and a familiar but distant voice brings her back to reality, the voice she dreamed about so many times was calling at her door and she couldn’t find an answer. “Just prove him it doesn’t hurt you anymore” she hears her sister’s voice ringing in her ears before she answers.
-Yeah-he looks breathtakingly handsome, the man in front of her is not the same that broke her heart years ago, this is not the boy that used to be her best friend; this is the man that treated her like trash the last time they did a shoot together.
-You look tired, have you been busy lately?-she wants to answer she was perfectly fine until he showed up this morning but she decides to show herself strong instead.
-I’ve been really busy to be honest, I don’t even know what I’m doing here.
-I know how much you hate me but this is work Soojung-ah, just be a professional.
-Don’t call me like that, you don’t have any right to feel close to me or give me any advice.
-I lost that too then. Sorry for bothering you-she thought he would leave but he sits in front of her and leans his back into the couch.-We haven’t talked in a while, the last time was Christmas 2013.
-How are you doing?-she asks out of courtesy but she wants to scream, she wants him out of her sight for good.
-It was a hard year for both of us-Kris and Luhan and then Jinri and her sister, Soojung knew how hard last year was for both of them so she nodded without bitter remarks-but this year might be different, how’s Jinri doing?
-I think I know as much as you know, she’s waiting for the contract to be over.
-The thing with your sister was unexpected.
-The thing with Tao oppa too.
-You’ve been alone for a while, don’t you feel lonely?
-If I feel lonely you’re the last person I need.
-I just wanted to tell you that I didn’t know you would be here, you told me clearly you didn’t wanted to see or talk to me ever again the last time we talked and I respected that.
-Just get out and let’s get this over soon.
-Don’t you miss those days?-she knows what he’s talking about so she nods before standing up.
-I do remember, but I don’t want to talk or think about it, so please leave me alone for a while.
-I loved you a lot Soojung-she wants to push him out of her room before he says something else but he keeps talking so she blocks his words, he broke her heart so badly that he doesn’t deserves to be listened.
-Did you even listen to what I said?-“I loved you a lot” “I broke your heart more than once and I regret that every time I see your face or hear your voice” “5 years might have passed but nothing has changed” “I have said horrible things to you, I’m sorry about everything”.
-I did, now please get out-he looks at her one more time before going out. When he crosses the door Soojung fights her tears as she punches stuff around the room, she walks and breathes and tries to think in someone else. But Jongin is the only thing in her mind.
-Ok, could you two seat in the couch?-Soojung sighs before sitting beside Jongin, they’re both stiff but listening to every instruction-ok that’s good, now both of you please lean beside each other there-like the bed shot wasn’t bad enough… Soojung leans into Jongin’s arms and proves what she expected, the couch is way too small for both of them so she has to lean half of her body in Jongin’s to find support.
The next few minutes pass slowly as they change the already uncomfortable position a lot of times for different shots, his breath on her neck and his hands on her waist remain there once she stands up and when he talks on her ear she finds herself closing her eyes to catch every word he whispers there.
-I know you hate me but, is there anything I can do to change that?-she walks away and rushes to her changing room, when the door closes behind her she collapses, her legs can’t handle It anymore.
She’s been avoiding any feelings for the past few months, she denied her heart and she blocked everyone thinking she would be betrayed like her sister but now… Kim Jongin still owns her, still moves her, he makes her feel like anyone in this world and meeting him when her heart is weak and afraid is the worst that could’ve happened to her. He makes her feel way too much.
-Last outfit Krystal shi, we’re waiting for you-she checks her makeup is fine and sighs in relief, she has blocked feelings so much that she doesn’t even cry anymore.
-You can do this one more time, just a few more photos and you don’t have to feel anymore-she reassures herself one last time before changing her clothes. She’s been living with pain for years, she can see her pain for one more hour and survive again.
-I took your stuff into the van, just change your clothes and I’ll take you to your place.
-My place?-Soojung questions her manager for a second before he smiles.
-You deserve it, you’ve been really strong today-her manager that barely knows what happened with Kim Jongin is telling her she was strong, she just nods because even if she’s breaking down she needs to show him that she’s strong now, that she doesn’t needs him anymore.
She walks towards the changing room and feels someone following her from behind, how reckless from the boy that broke up with her to maintain his image once he debuted. He closes the door behind him and she turns around in time to avoid his hug.
-I was an asshole-she avoids his eyes and tries to think about a way of getting rid of him without anyone noticing it-I thought it would be better if we broke up before my debut, both of us were idols and our dreams were bigger than us…
-Stop-she begs but he continues.
-I was wrong, every time I saw you on stage or the company I missed you so I said horrible things, I said terrible things so you would avoid me, so you would hate me and…
-You can’t do this-he looks at her and she talks now-I loved you with evert fiber of my body, I risked my career for 3 years and you debuted and left me by myself, you broke my heart and I learnt to live with hate, I can live with hate and I don’t need your words. I’m asking you again, please leave me alone.
They both stare for a couple of seconds and Soojung believes he’s going to leave her for good, that maybe she’ll be able to move on this time because both of them were honest and she doesn’t needs him anymore, then he crashes her expectations. They both were strong enough but it was time for them to be weak.
Jongin hugs her and she cries for the first time in years, she holds him like her life hangs on his shoulders and he hugs her like he’s been wishing to do for the past 3 years since they broke up, there’s no words in the space between them. When they see each other eyes again they know it has been enough, Soojung knows she can’t live with hate when his eyes give nothing but love and Jongin knows he can’t push this girl away again ever in his life.
They’re trapped in the years gone by, in the wasted time and the useless pain.
A kiss closes the huge gap that ripped them apart with every word said the past years, his lips caress hers and her legs fail when the kiss is stronger than her.
-You ok?-he asks when he feels her losing her strength, he holds her waist and looks into her eyes, she nods and they kiss again.
Soojung feels again, her worries disappear into thin air and she knows no matter what everything could get better.
After all Jongin came back to her and she received him with open arms.
