mother night

indie nyx of hades. written by angie.

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@stygeus​

‘ i don’t think it’s living , but it’s not hurting either ’

————

    her gaze slips from his own and off to the side, where a shade ambles past. she follows its slow, drawn out movements, and watches how it heaves a ragged sigh from the great and empty depths of its chest. then nyx looks back to zagreus.

    " it can be difficult to have one without the other. "

[phantomemes]

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‘ something’s terribly sick in my head ’ ‘ these are my darkest thoughts , the bad things lurking in the closet ’ ‘ is this how i tear the monsters from my body ? ’ ‘ i want everything to stop ’ ‘ fuck your immaculate existence ’ ‘ today i want my heart to tremble ’ ‘ i want my teeth to shatter bone ’ ‘ today i want killing to mean living ’ ‘ nothing you do can hurt me but you better try ’ ‘ you can’t live without burning your comfort and safety as firewood ’ ‘ maybe the ghosts learned how to build stairs into the mountainside ’ ‘ believe me when i say there is no pride in this ’ ‘ i want to be one of those city sprites among termites ’ ‘ cleanse this body through tears and emesis ’ ‘ circumvention was futile , damnable ’ ‘ we’re all burning ’ ‘ we learn to laugh in the midst of the inferno ’ ‘ i realize now that i am the one out of place ’ ‘ i want to destroy all the parts that aren’t working ’ ‘ i never knew i had the capacity for cruelty ’ ‘ i condemn myself to failure without batting an eyelash ’ ‘ choosing to protect ourselves is not failure ’ ‘ nothing is working ’ ‘ at some point i stopped , i sank ’ ‘ breathing seems so difficult now ’ ‘ living was easy as breathing once upon a time ’ ‘ i don’t think it’s living , but it’s not hurting either ’  ‘ my body is a room made of glass walls and wooden floors ’ ‘ today , i ache for somewhere to hide ’ ‘ how do i turn the light on in my eyes ? ’ ‘ please , no one look at me today ’ ‘ i mused over all the times i had prayed to a god i do not believe in ’ ‘ the gods died laughing ’ ‘ you must learn fear ’ ‘ let’s not be enemies tonight ’ ‘ hold my hand while our greatest tragedies are lost and forgotten ’ ‘ you are only a murderer if someone cares ’ ‘ dreaming is so painful and i wish i would stop ’ ‘ i can still love you with my eyes closed ’ ‘ i’m not sure why you’re acting surprised ’ ‘ let me pretend that i’m made of magic ’ ‘ i am a creature of contradictions ’ ‘ remember your strength , unchanging and eternal ’ 

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BODY LANGUAGE.

bold.      always   /  usually applies italic.      only applies situationally   /   sometimes

𝚍𝚎𝚏𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜. arms  crossed  on  chest.  crossing  legs.   fist-like  gestures.      pointing  index  finger.   karate  chops.   stiffening  of  shoulders.   tense  posture.  curling  of  lip.   baring  of  teeth.

𝚛𝚎𝚏𝚕𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚟𝚎.  hand  to  face  gestures.   head  tilted.   stroking chin.   peering  over   glasses.   taking glasses off  —  cleaning.   putting  earpiece  of  glasses  in  mouth.   pipe  smoker  gestures.   putting  hand  to  the  bridge  of  nose.  pursed  lips.   knitted  brows.

𝚜𝚞𝚜𝚙𝚒𝚌𝚒𝚘𝚗.  arms  crossed.   sideways  glance.  touching  or  rubbing  nose.     rubbing  eyes.   hands  resting  on  weapon.   brows rising.   lips  pressing  into  a  thin  line.   strict  unwavering  eye  contact.   wrinkling  of  nose.

𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚗𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 & 𝚌𝚘𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗.  open  hands.   upper  body  in  sprinters  position.     sitting  on  the  edge  of  a  chair.  hand-to-face gestures.   unbuttoned  coat.    tilted  head.     slacked  shoulders.   droopy  posture.   feet  pointed  outward.

𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎.  hands  behind  back.   hands  on  lapels  of  coat.   steepled  hands.     baring  teeth  in  a  grin.   rolling  shoulders.   tipping  head  back  but  maintaining  eye  contact.     chest  puffed  up.   shoulders  back.  finger  guns.

𝚒𝚗𝚜𝚎𝚌𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚢 & 𝚊𝚗𝚡𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚢.  chewing  pen  or  pencil.   rubbing  thumb  over  opposite  thumb.   biting  fingernails.   hands  in  pockets.   elbow  bent.   closed  gestures.   clearing  throat.  “ whew ”  sound.  picking  or  pinching  flesh.  fidgeting  in  chair.  hand covering  mouth  whilst  speaking.   poor  eye  contact. tugging  at  pants  whilst  seated.   jingling  money  in pockets.   tugging  at  ear.  perspiring  hands. playing  with  hair.  swaying.     playing  with  pointer or marker.   smacking  lips.   sighing.  rocking  on  balls  of  feet.   flexing  fingers  sporadically.

𝚏𝚛𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗. short  breaths.  “ tsk ”  sounds.  tightly  clenched  hands.   fist-like  gestures.   pointing  index  finger.   running  hand  through  hair.   rubbing  back  of  neck.   snarling.  revealing  teeth.   grimacing.   sharp-eyed  glowers  with  notable  tension  in  brows.    shoulders  back,   head  up   -   defensive  posturing.  clenching  of  jaw.  grinding  of  teeth.   nostrils  flaring  /  heavy  exhales.

TAGGED  BY.       stolen from another blog of mine TAGGING.         x

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sorry for not being around!! depression hit hard and has really been messing with my desire to write bUT. consider this as a starter/ inbox call as i try to get active!!

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