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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@daylightorchids
One of the things I remember from last time I did weight watchers was that you want to celebrate your non-scale victories (NSV) as well as your scale victories. I had my first NSV last night - we went to the bar after the movie and I had a wrap and just one beer. Then we went home. At home I only had a half of a beer. Felt good, and I felt in control.
my introverted ass after inviting a shit ton of people over for a party that I was personally hosting in order to celebrate me: i need to leave
Do you have any idea how accurate this post is????????
Fin
I think the challenge is done for now. I didn't make it a month, and that sucks. Once you justify breaking your stride once, it's a lot easier to keep doing it. I'm going to try again. I'm not sure when, but I'm gonna make another attempt until I do it all the way through.
Day 17-18
Nothing exciting to report. I feel like I’ve hit the ‘I’m over this stage’ and I’m not sure if that says anything about me, feeling this way a bit more than half way through, but that’s where I’m at. I was wondering; I feel like I’ve been wanting to drink more during the week lately. Is it because I can’t? Or do I always want to drink during the week and I just don’t notice it because there’s nothing stopping me? I honestly don’t think it’s the latter, because I’ve gone plenty of days without drinking and it hasn’t really bothered me. But at the same time, how juvenile is the ‘you told me I can’t have X thing and now I really want X thing’ mentality? I mean I guess I can’t change it, but I feel like there should be a more mature brain response to that. Just stuff to think about.
Day 16
Today was fine. Didn't really feel much of a desire to drink last night or tonight. Mostly I've just been tired, and yesterday there was still a bit of a lingering headache. Chris will be at a bachelor party Friday and Saturday, and Saturday evening I have a bachelorette party (completely separate couples we're celebrating with, oddly enough) that will be at Paint Your Heart Out for...painting and shit, and then afterwards the ladies are headed over to Cock and Bowl for drinks. Aaaaaand I already want to hang out and grab drinks with them. Not because I'm craving booze or anything, but just because it'll be a social gathering and I enjoy drinking socially. So I'm kinda stuck on that, for now.
Days 12-15
The past couple days were uneventful, except for Saturday night, when I drank with my friends. I wish I could say that I had a sip of someone's drink and a sip of another's and then just went for it, but I didn't. I made the choice. We were going out to dinner with friends and then meeting other friends to watch the hockey game and I wanted to drink with everyone. I knew that it wasn't how this whole 30 day thing is supposed to work, but I decided to do it anyway. And I had a really, really fun evening. I think having some drinks on Saturday exacerbated the headache that I got early Saturday during the day that lasted through today, but most of that was allergies and I don't feel bad about it. I didn't feel as bad I thought I would the next day either. I'm mostly embarrassed to tell my friends that I broke my steak and had a drink. Embarrassed that people might judge me, or feel bad because they think something's wrong with me. I'm back on track now. I'm committed to finishing my month. I'm debating starting over and going for another month, restart my counter every time I mess up and have a drink. But I'm not sure if I want to do that yet, so as of right now I'm just back ok track.
Day 11
From day 12 Yesterday passed by quietly. I was thankful for my red totoro, who I asked to grab pads, tampons, and mint chocolate chip ice cream from the store. He grabbed all those things *and* chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. He's a keeper.
Day 10
My period came with a vengeance today, and all I want to do is curl up in a giant bowl of warm cheese with a garlic bread pillow. Will be spending the rest of the evening in bed trying to convince my ovaries that they cannot, in fact, crawl straight out of me.
Day 9 thought 2
My mood improved once I got home. I talked about my passive aggressive manager with chris, made a *really* good dinner, and played games and watched movies with him and H. I had cranberry juice and soda water and only bitched about this stupid month once.
Day 9
Today I'm grumpy. I was in a good mood, and then one of the managers came in and made an indirect, passive aggressive comment about how I'm not working Saturdays, instead of just coming out and asking me to work Saturdays. There are only a few reasons I don't work weekends, and one of the main ones is, is because it majorly cuts into time with chris. He works evenings and every other weekend, so giving up my weekends to be away from him and back at work isn't very alluring. The girl who did come in last weekend (and this coming weekend) leaves at 5 every day and spends every weekend and evening with her husband/family. So, a half day every weekend is probably welcome for her. I don't terribly mind working weekends when chris works, but I dislike the passive aggressive remarks about me not being there. I'm happy to explain the situation and tell you my available days if you ask me to work...but just ask me. Anyways, the reason I bring this up is because it ties into irritations I had last night about coming home from work and immediately dealing with home responsibilities without feeling like I have a lot of back up. That conversation got sorted through, but last night, and more so now, my thought process is 'I just wish I could decompress with a glass of wine.' Especially today, since it's a weekday off for chris. I'd like to go home and vent about management and then relax and drink wine and spend time with playing games and watching movies on the couch. And we will do those things, just minus the wine. Which isn't a big deal, but it's what I want, and it's part of the evening I want to have. So, my mood now is 'this challenge is dumb and I don't want to do it anymore give me a glass of wine'
When it comes time for unwinding I usually have a beer (which turns into 8) and so lately I've needed to find something that takes my mind off that habit. Coloring takes no attention, but also requires enough attention that I don't really worry about grabbing a drink. I'm happy with this new alternative.
Day 8
Other than desperately wanting to stay in bed on this rainy day and cuddle the giant snoring ginger totoro next to me, I woke up in a pretty good mood. Usually Monday's kinda stink during spring because they're SO busy and everyone runs around like they don't have a head. But I've been feeling calm, level headed, and pretty happy. I texted my 2 best friends happy texts, talked to my mom, my dad, texted my sibs. I can't decide if I've just been on a happy, motivated kick lately, or if this is a result of the not drinking. I kinda hope it's not the latter, because if it is, that means that the booze was affecting my mood A LOT more than I thought, and that's a kind of shitty thought to sit with. I'll think on it more.
Day 7 (day 7!!)
Today was easy! I woke up late, took a shower, and played fun games with people I love dearly all day. Now I'm home, and making a quiche! Today was a good day, and I feel good.
Day 6
Overall today wasn't too bad. I got a fuck ton of groceries done, made my own breakfast sandwiches, made a grocery list (and got said groceries) for the week, colored a hippo, started cross stitch, watched Moonlight. I'm still batting home alone anxiety, but I'm hoping I'll just get too tired to stay awake any longer. My ears only perked up a few times when someone mentioned wine on tv. Overall I didn't miss it too much today.
Sober Ana is creative
So far sober Saturday number 1 has yielded home made sausage breakfast sandwiches, an early wake up, and black coffee 😍
Day 6
It’s nice as shit waking up without a damn hangover.
