ANSWER THE RIDDLE FIRST

870 years old, goblin, wizard, ranked tetris player, capricorn, fairy, will steal your jewels.

[beaarthurmountainspizza-blog]

[dazeyray]

(via beaarthurmountainspizza-blog)

i don’t even remember how to see the humor in this

[dazeyray]

one of the questions on the job application for a production accountant at illumination lol

[dazeyray]

john mulaneys eyes are directly on the sides of his face because he is a prey animal… he’s just as scared as you are.

[cheaphalloweencostume]

grownup movies. movies for grownups. no, not exclusively art house. no, not the kids show with complex mature themes. i would like to see movies for grownups. movies made with adults in mind. no i dont hate whimsy. no i dont hate comedy. movies for grownups

[dazeyray]

like anora but less jokes

[3rabbit]

daughter (non-practicing)

[3rabbit]

sister (deadbeat)

[thedreadpiratecam]

microdosing hell by being awake and literate

[biomaterial]

new kind of guy dropped

[3liza]

he's unironically 100% correct and i will hear nothing against him

[dazeyray]

i’m on a whole foods diet but not like what you think. i’m literally only eating foods from the store whole foods.

[dazeyray]

even my tampons are fucking organic!!!!! whatever that means.

[dazeyray]

at night they put these badass prime blankets on top of the produce….. i want to steal one so bad but i am literally here every day……

[dazeyray]

i’m spiritually and socially australian!!!

[dazeyray]

when i died irl it was like five firefighters attacking my body screaming to wake up and i got a trillion shots all at once they literally jammed an iv into my leg bone but in my head…. was speaking to god!!!! and abe lincoln. god was like nooo don’t go you’re hot. i’m like ok u hot genderless being lets live.

[dazeyray]

and like now i’m literally an angel reborn onto this earth…. with a newfound religious twist.

[segamascott]

[capacity2]

It’s actually crazy how bad feeling bad feels

[anglaised]

everything is inevitable and has happened before

[gotankgo]

vintage black light posters

[dazeyray]

when i died irl it was like five firefighters attacking my body screaming to wake up and i got a trillion shots all at once they literally jammed an iv into my leg bone but in my head…. was speaking to god!!!! and abe lincoln. god was like nooo don’t go you’re hot. i’m like ok u hot genderless being lets live.

[dazeyray]

i’m on a whole foods diet but not like what you think. i’m literally only eating foods from the store whole foods.

[dazeyray]

even my tampons are fucking organic!!!!! whatever that means.

[dazeyray]

omg literally every single show on earth has a scene filmed in nathan fielders nazi paramount building you just have to open your eyes….