DBZ TFLN

DBZ Texts From Last Night

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(714):

I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(303):

I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(917):

You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(720):

o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(972):

I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(773):

He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(908):

A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(218):

You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(561):

I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(810):

He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(941):

I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(717):

New vibrator arrived today.

(1-717):

How was it?

(717):

Who are these wee mortals we call men?

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(417):

Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

Submitted by Will (anubisaphelion[@]gmail.com), thank you!

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

Submitted by Will (anubisaphelion[@]gmail.com), thank you!

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(517):

I learned so much about myself in that shower.

[dbztextsfromlastnight]

(248):

Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply ‘fuck off’.