White Fragility Elects Preservation
I was a local Bernie delegate during the primaries. Â Not at all getting involved because of political ambition but more, to see how my local democratic party operated. Â I was not surprised but disheartened that we failed to get the partyâs nomination but I threw my hat in with Hillary without any real complaint and tepid campaigning. Â In my eyes, she was more of a Neo-con than the liberal whoâd get me my single payer health care and legal weed that Iâve wanted since Obamaâs first term. Â Nonetheless, I was excited for the first Female president. Â Â I donât know whatâs ahead. Judge me, I am okay with that. I am not qualified to lead. Â And if youâre wondering what needs to be said precisely to make America great again, Â I donât have answers. Its my suggestion we listen to the screams of those around us. But when those voices make us feel threatened, which they probably will and probably should (but thatâs not the point) letâs breath, relax, and try to listen. Â If you get scared, I beg you not to respond in violence or attack anyone because you can know and remember, youâre okay, America is so much your country. Youâre so important your fragility elects. Â
I donât feel all the fear of being a woman, or muslim, or black, or mexican, or LGBTQA. Â I feel shame. I feel ownership of the problems faced by people in my community. Â I feel that I have let down many I love by failing to do what I needed to be do this long election cycle. I needed to put my efforts into addressing my fragile white community on the danger white fragility creates when threatened. Â A simple reality that I did not like facing which affects us all is that most white american males will only listen to other white american males.
While I have made efforts, the election results show, I have not pushed enough to battle and remove the hate and fragility from my own demographic and I do not believe I am alone in this failure among progressive white male millennials. Â Despite doing our best all these years of supporting âchangeâ. to prove the progressiveness of our ways and win the right causes, weâve been having fun. We have generally been able to broaden our horizons in a world that has done absolutely nothing to limit us. Many of us distanced ourselves from the parts of our white community we do not agree with. That has been selfish, in line with why so many are frustrated with us, and costs many in America so much more than just an election.
It forces so many to live in fear of and oppression by us so that we donât have to be anything more than what we ask of of ourselves. Â What we ask of ourselves is far too little. Â We fail to have any answer when those who love us despite our ineptitude to progress ask âWhy must this be the way?â
we all have connections to fear mongers. They are associated to us through family, or work, or education. By fear mongers, Â I mean these bigots that are now committing their hate-filled actions in what they believe is their freedom of speech now restored and protected by our president-elect. Â Too often, we ignored. In the case of the individual bigot we thought perhaps it is innocuous, or perhaps they could a pass because we donât believe theyâd âactuallyâ harm someone, or we had witnessed their kindness in moments when they did not feel their fragility attacked, or perhaps, we simply distanced ourselves so we couldnât take witness because they were in our family or we thought something of value was there be it professionally, or even romantically.
And this is where, I know Iâve failed to take ownership of my community and truly invest my energies into reaching out to the entitled but âdisenfranchisedâ white man of hate. Â Honestly, anyone can likely tell, they make me angry. I struggle to talk with them, I donât share their beliefs. Â However, I must recognize, thatâs the same for EVERYONE whom they terrorize, exploit, and molest. It is not the task of a victim to confront her assailant in any pursuit of proper justice. Much of the world has been victims of crimes by white men. I am not entitled a pass from taking up hard conversation with these or any white men. Â Â If it be not for morals, decency, or correctitude, I hope atleast self interest motivates us to keep our future complaints to ourselves, shut up and listen to other people, and hold ourselves to higher standards than we have ever have before, because now, in our protected patriarchy, we will increasingly be identified the same.
Us throwing support to a black lives matter rally is fine, or standing with standing rock, is fine. Please though, if your liberal and upset too, recognize most progressive movements in this country are calling out to us to help those of us who refuse to listen. We, as white men, have failed so many by not fixing ourselves, our brothers, and our image.
I am a white american male from an upper middle class family. Â The complete access to opportunity I had, I mostly squandered. Â I have spent most my adult life in Urban areas where I have lived on cookâs wages and grown in the tradecraft I very much enjoy and a find purpose in. Â I spent most my twenties without a car or health insurance but nonetheless managed to jump cities, groups, and borders with great ease. Â Despite being tattooed, gaurantiably underdressed, and perhaps somewhat buzzed, I have had opportunity to travel this country with so long as I could conduct myself as an adult. Iâve failed at that too. Â Iâve been jumped, Iâve been held up, Iâve been locked up. All consequences are commensurate with choices and Iâve had a knack for making my own trouble. Â (a notion that should be considered in regards to this election as well) but because Iâve been stopped by police or lost a fight to an African American, does NOT mean that I know what itâs like to be subjected to the scary bigotry that is American culture. Â
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