Alright, I know I've been MIA for a while, but many months ago, you guys voted, and the top voted episode for me to analyze was ‘The Girl Who Loved Powerglide’, so without further ado, let’s get to it!
We open on what looks to be a carnival of some kind where an older man is complaining about how disgraceful all this is.
Sir you could just, y’know, leave.
Another man tells him to shut it; they were under direct orders from the chairman of the board. Said chairman appears, saying that she knows “Everyone is totally grossed out to be here, but it’s my birthday, so I’m going to have a party!” She complains that she wishes these geezers would lighten up and enjoy themselves; this place is like a prison—she hates it and wants some excitement.
My spoiled rich girl alarms are going off.
We learn that the chairman’s name is Astoria. The coneheads swoop in and attack the party and Powerglide spots them with this weird lens thing on the nose of his jet mode.
I’m so confused, is this how he sees or is this just like a telescope because if this is how he sees he’s got some serious tunnel vision.
Powerglide alerts Autobot HQ of the attack on Hybrid Technologies Corp. (seems like a description of the company, not its name. Also, they tricked me this place really looked like a carnival), hypothesizing that they could be after some secret plans or some kind of new fuel they invented or the company’s top scientists, but no, they’re after Astoria (for some reason). The man who tried to comfort her earlier tells the coneheads to let her go, and they are fully about to shoot this man before Powerglide swoops in and tells Astoria to grab onto the rope that’s attached to his hull for some reason.
The coneheads pursue them. Powerglide flies a few blocks rather haphazardly (I mean he’s a stunt plane so it makes sense but also I’m majorly impressed that girl managed to hang on) before reeling Astoria in. Inside his hull, Astoria starts to wind up the rope, thanking the pilot for the rescue before she realizes there’s nobody else in the plane. She takes the pilot’s seat, panicking, and presses a few random buttons. Powerglide tries to protest, but it’s too late; they’re going to crash.
Yeah maybe don’t press random buttons on a plane that seems to be flying okay without your input.
And their luck only gets worse because the coneheads show up, firing at them and mocking Powerglide’s flying. Powerglide manages to prevent them from crashing and tells Astoria to knock it off. She asks him where he is; who he is; and he replies that he’s the guy who’s trying to save her, so she should sit down and let him get on with it.
I can’t really blame him for being so annoyed; I think I would be too if the person I was trying to save almost made me crash.
Anyways, he manages to elude the coneheads by just…hiding under a highway. No wonder the war has lasted this long if that got them off your tail. The coneheads continue their search however.
Cut back to under the highway where Astoria has gotten out of Powerglide’s alt mode off screen. Astoria comments that ‘that was pretty intense!’. Powerglide transforms into his bot mode and Astoria once again asks him who he is. “Powerglide’s the name!” He replies. “Well, whoever you are, I think you’re completely the greatest!” Astoria says.
Powerglide more or less says ‘thanks I guess’ before Astoria jumps up and grabs his arm, saying that she wants to go flying again. He pretty much throws her to the ground asking her to shut up and listen; he has to know why those goons were after her; who she is.
So, you both want her to shut up, and to give you an answer? Double standard.
“I’m Astoria Carlton Ritz, chairman of the board of Hybrid Technologies.” She introduces herself. Powerglide is surprised that she runs HyTech, and she explains that her father died and left the company to her. He restates that they need to figure out why the coneheads were after her and she says she wants to go flying again. “I’ll send you flying.” Powerglide says in possibly one of the most annoyed tones I’ve ever heard from an individual as he grabs her by the wrist and drags her off screen like a little kid who’s being forced to play with another kid they don’t like.
Cut to some hideout the Autobots apparently have in this seemingly random building that basically has the same interior as the Ark and Spike is also here for some reason. Optimus (via video call) tells them that Astoria isn’t allowed to access HyTech’s labs or equipment even though she runs the company, and guesses that the cons might’ve wanted to hold her hostage in exchange for some secret information.
I’m not sure if this is meant to be later or while Powerglide is on the call with Optimus, but we see Spike talking to Astoria in what looks like a mechanic shop of some kind. Spike tells Astoria it’s too bad he wasn’t there when she ran into the cons earlier; he’s always ready to rescue a girl as pretty as her.
Spike, with the amount of times you call the Autobots for help in this series YOU are the damsel in distress.
Astoria ignores his attempt at flirting and asks him what he knows about Powerglide. He tells her that he’s okay but kind of a blow hard, but Astoria says she thinks he’s wonderful; he’s big, he’s tall, he’s shiny, and he can fly! Spike tells her there’s a few things he can’t do.
….I think we all know what he’s talking about and I’m not going to elaborate.
Powerglide walks in as everything in the auto shop is going haywire. Haywire as in an engine block gets set on fire and Astoria bumps into something that breaks the windshield of a car. Spike tells her to get away from his equipment but she tells him she can’t help it if his junk’s all defective.
The windshield thing was your fault though Astoria.
Powerglide says it’s no wonder her own company won’t let her near the equipment, and she tells him that her and machines don’t get along too well, to which he replies that he can personally attest to that. He tells her he’s been given the lucky task of taking her back to Autobot HQ, but she complains that she’s hungry. “Why does everything always happen to me?” Powerglide says wearily.
I hate to break this to you Powerglide but you don’t do a whole lot after G1; appreciate at least that something is happening to you.
Cut over to the cons where the coneheads have told Megatron they failed, and their leader is less than pleased about that as you can imagine. “Please, let us try to find her again.” Ramjet says without opening his mouth. Megatron says that they will not try to get her; they will get her, or else he’ll have them melted down for scrap.
Meanwhile, at an actual carnival this time, Astoria and Powerglide ride the merry-go-round, and Astoria says that this is better than running her company any day, but Powerglide insists that they’ve got to get Astoria out of there; it’s dangerous. She doesn’t believe him. The ride stops and he tells her that he doesn’t care what she wants to do next, he’s taking her to the Ark. He grabs her, but she screams at him to let her go, which he does, and she tells him not to touch her necklace. Powerglide, seeming to realize he crossed a boundary, asks her what’s the matter. Astoria explains that the necklace was a gift from her dad before he died and that he made her promise she’d never take it off. Powerglide apologizes, seeming genuine. They’re about to leave when the coneheads appear and charge at them.
Also is it just me or do the coneheads look really silly when they run?
Powerglide tells Astoria to run, and she hides behind a garbage can. Powerglide tells the coneheads that even three of them can’t beat one of him.
…I watched this fight scene 6 times and still have no way of properly conveying the absolute chaos of it. It’s completely ridiculous and the coneheads were bested by soda can and a carnival tent.
Powerglide grabs Astoria’s hand and they run for a little bit before he transforms and tells her to get in already.
Bro you could’ve skipped the running and just transformed back there?? The running was completely unnecessary!
Astoria gets in and he takes off. The coneheads find their way out of the circus tent and fly after them. Ramjet flies into Powerglide’s side and busts one of his wings. Powerglide manages to lose them before he’s forced to land, and transmits his coordinates to the other Autobots.
“Wow, we’re like, nowhere.” Astoria comments. “Yeah, it ain't exactly the garden spot.” Powerglide replies. Astoria notices that he’s injured, and even though he tells her it’s nothing, she doesn’t believe him. She rips part of her skirt (though it never looks damaged again and the bandage seems to disappear in 15 seconds) to act as a bandage for his arm so he doesn’t get any sand into the wound, to which he initially refuses, but she tells him he doesn’t have to be Mr. Macho all the time. She cares about him; he saved her life; but she figures that he wouldn’t feel anything like that about her – he was a robot, and therefore above those kinds of things. Powerglide starts to say something in a very awkward fashion before the coneheads attack. Didn’t lose them after all.
After executing possibly one of the most drawn out and awkward rolls to the side I’ve ever seen, Powerglide hides Astoria behind some rocks and runs off screen. The cons land, transform, and fire at Powerglide, causing him to fall down a chasm that appeared from the void. Astoria screams, catching the cons’ attention. Thrust and Ramjet grab her while Dirge uses his missiles to bury Powerglide in rocks (seems to be something the Cybertronians do a lot in this show). Astoria tells them to let her go, but they ignore her. They transform and fly off.
Powerglide gets up in time to see the jets flying off with Astoria, and tries to go after them, but he’s grounded and injured, and ends up collapsing instead.
Ratchet and Wheeljack show up with Wheeljack somehow riding in the back of Ratchet’s alt mode. Ratchet comes to a stop and Wheeljack picks up Powerglide, who keeps muttering about how he has to save Astoria. “You will, you will. Just gotta get you patched up first.” Wheeljack tells him calmly as he puts him in the back of Ratchet’s ambulance mode which they BOTH somehow fit in, defying physics.
Later, in the Ark, Ratchet (who’s working on Powerglide’s chest for reasons unknown even though his arm and his wing are the parts that are injured) is patching up Powerglide who keeps telling him to hurry it up. Ratchet tells him that he’s going as fast as he can. Powerglide stands up and tells the medic that he feels fine, but Ratchet protests, saying he’s not finished yet. “Is my wing fixed? Can I fly?” Powerglide asks. “Well, yes, but–” Ratchet starts. “Then you’re done.” He tells him before walking off. Ratchet shrugs, probably figuring that this is not the hill to die on this early in the day.
Powerglide finds Prime and asks him if there’s been any word from the cons, and Optimus tells him there’s been nothing from them. Powerglide wonders why they don’t ransom her; Prime thinks that maybe they don’t want a ransom; maybe she has something they want. Teletraan reports that the Sky Spy spotted some unusual atmospheric disturbances over the North Atlantic and the disturbance was coming from 10 miles above sea level. Optimus says that that sounds like the cons have some kind of sub orbital station, because obviously it can only be the Decepticons. Powerglide figures that’s where they’ve taken Astoria and takes off to find her. “I let that little brat down once, and I’m not going to give up until I find her.” He says.
I don't really know how to feel about the word choice of 'brat'; I mean yeah, Astoria is annoying and definitely a brat, but Powerglide cares about her (or rather he’s supposed to care about her, but more on that later) maybe he's supposed to be saying it in an endearing way? It's hard to tell.
Meanwhile on the Decepticon’s sub orbital station that somehow nobody but the Sky Spy has noticed, the Constructicons report to Megatron telling him that his Energy Transductor is now fully operational. Megatron says that once they find out what the girl knows, they can turn the Earth’s magnetic field into pure energon.
…I’m sorry, what? This was your plan?? I shouldn’t be surprised at this point and yet, here I am.
Meanwhile inside the station, Astoria is being held captive in one of those chairs that traps you. Idk what they’re called but the ones that sort of trap you by holding your wrists and ankles in place? Yeah one of those. “You guys got any burgers in this joint?” Astoria asks. “Silence.” Soundwave replies. “Man, you guys are like, the worst hosts!”
Honestly this is just funny to me. She’s being held prisoner and she decides to ask these giant villainous robots for a burger and then judges their hosting lol.
Megatron comes in and tells her that if she tells him what she knows, she will be released. She tells him she doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He elaborates that before her father died, he gave her HyTech’s energy formula. “If you say so.” Astoria replies. “I do, and I want it. Now!” Megatron commands. She tells him not to be so hostile and he repeats his request for her to tell him what she knows. “All I know is that you’re a complete and total, utter–” She starts. “SILENCE!!” Megatron commands.
Again, hilarious, but this girl might have a death wish lol.
Megatron tells her that since she won’t give him the formula willingly, there are other ways of getting that information. They have a device called a Psychoprobe, capable of extracting all the information out of a human’s mind (just human minds??), but he gives her one last chance to tell him what she knows, warning her that the Psychoprobe is not a pleasant experience. She tells him to go blow a circuit. The Psychoprobe is activated, and despite Megatron saying that it was an unpleasant experience, Astoria has zero reaction to it.
“Subject’s mind: Completely empty.” Soundwave reports. Megatron says that that’s impossible, and Soundwave tells him there’s a computer error; he’s searching for the problem. “I forgot to tell you, me and machines don’t get along too well; especially not slimeball machines like you.” Astoria says.
Now why would you tell them that?
Soundwave thinks he’s fixed the problem but the machines continue to malfunction. Megatron, in utter frustration, declares that he doesn’t believe this. Soundwave and Rumble end up holding parts of the machine in place. Megatron tells Astoria that the Psychoprobe will send 90,000 volts through her brain.
…I’m no expert on this but I’m pretty sure that girl will be dead immediately if not sooner if you use that thing.
Megatron turns on the machine but it instead affects Rumble and Soundwave. Astoria laughs as Rumble shouts for Megatron to turn it off. Megatron shoots the machine to turn it off and Rumble and Soundwave fall to the ground. Hook appears on a nearby monitor and warns Megatron of an Autobot approaching. Megatron and the other two leave, saying that they’ll deal with Astoria later. Before they’re even out the door, Astoria gets herself free but the cons don’t notice.
Personally I would've waited until they were out of earshot but hey it worked out for you. Somehow.
Megatron, Soundwave and Rumble have made it up to the upper deck. Megatron laughs and says that Powerglide will never make it through the energy storm around their base. Astoria, who has somehow kept up pace with the cons, hears this and finds the source of the energy storm. She figures that something metal would disturb the storm but finds none around her.
Ma’am. You are on a ship. Made of metal. And there are Cybertronians. Also made of metal. You are literally SURROUNDED BY METAL. There has to be some spare parts somewhere. I mean, hell, if nothing else you could just grab Rumble and toss him at the spire!!
But no, Astoria decides to chuck her necklace – which is apparently made of metal and holds the formula the cons were looking for – at the spire with impressive accuracy. “Sorry dad, but I have to chuck the formula to save him.” She says. The storm is disrupted, allowing Powerglide a clear path to the base which is now rapidly falling apart and out of the sky. I guess that spire did more than just maintain that weird storm.
Powerglide lands on the still falling base. “What’d you smash the antenna for? Do you want to get yourself killed?” He shouts at her. “I did it to save you, you big, dumb – oh yell at me, I don’t care, as long as you’re safe.” She replies, hugging him.
Ma’am. Madam. You are the one who got captured. And you’re still falling out of the sky, there are bigger priorities at stake here.
They break from the embrace and I swear to god it really looks like Powerglide shoves her here. What the hell Powerglide, you risked your life to save this girl – a couple times actually – and you shove her?? Rude.
Astoria falls and Powerglide manages to catch her before she falls off the edge of the base, expressing worry for her. He hands her a parachute, telling her to jump for it. She asks what he’s going to do, and he tells her that he’s got a plan. She chucks the parachute over the edge and says that she’s staying with him no matter what. “You’re gonna drive me crazy!” Powerglide replies before taking her by the hand and the two walk surprisingly calmly into the still falling base.
Powerglide fixes the base enough so that he should be able to steer it, but when he tries to steer it, nothing happens. He realizes that Astoria being in the room is jinxing the controls, so he tells her to leave, but she refuses. He then picks her up and throws her out of the room.
I understand this is a high pressure situation, but this is the second time this episode Powerglide has thrown her. Not cool man.
Powerglide charts a new course for the base. Astoria says she oughta slug him one (and she really should) but quickly realizes they’re still heading downward. Powerglide transforms and tells her to get in – which she quickly does – before taking off.
Cut to the Decepticon’s underwater HQ which Megatron, Soundwave, and Rumble have just returned to. Soundwave goes over to one of the monitors while Rumble comments that they at least got out of there in one piece (somehow – must’ve happened off screen) and Megatron says that as far as the girl and the falling sky platform were concerned, they were Powerglide’s problem. “Correction; Problem: Is ours.” Soundwave corrects Megatron. They see the sky platform headed straight for their HQ on the monitor and Megatron tells Soundwave to energize the force fields. “What force fields?” Soundwave asks before the no-longer-in-the-sky base hits the underwater HQ causing it to flood. Megatron gets on the PA system and tells all of the cons that their new orders are to clean up this mess.
Meanwhile, Powerglide, Astoria, Ratchet, Ironhide, and Optimus are standing outside of that building they were in earlier. Powerglide asks Astoria what the cons were after, to which she replies that they just wanted the necklace her dad gave her. “You never make any sense, you know that?” Powerglide says. “Yeah, well, I’ve gotta be going.” Astoria replies.
Powerglide awkwardly asks if it would be okay if he looked her up next time he was in town. Astoria says that that would be wonderful; he was wonderful. He tells her that she’s not so bad herself. She laughs, hugs him, and kisses him before running off to the car that was waiting for her. “Who would’ve believed it; Powerglide shot down by cupid!” Sparkplug says as he and Spike appear from the void and Ratchet and Ironhide laugh. Powerglide threatens them with getting their circuits punched out before he runs into the building and opens a panel in his chest (for some reason), showing his systems have a pink heart blinking on them.
And that was The Girl Who Loved Powerglide.
Whooo where to begin unpacking this one.
I can understand why so many people wanted this episode analyzed. While most of the episodes of G1 feel kind of timeless, this one feels pretty dated with the whole love story aspect of it. Astoria was fascinated with Powerglide, but fascination is a very different thing than love. And Powerglide hated Astoria to begin with, and to be honest I can’t really blame him; Astoria is the epitome of a spoiled rich girl for the majority of the episode. Plus his love for her came out of left field; I don’t really buy that either of them are in love with each other. If they’d spaced this love story plot point out over a few episodes as like a B plot it would probably flow better. Or at the very least if they’d taken more time to show Astoria and Powerglide interacting and the two getting closer to each other rather than this care for the other appearing out of thin air.
For the majority of the episode, Powerglide is treating Astoria like an obligation and is kind of violent with her with how many times he throws her around, when he shoves her (intentional or not), and basically drags her around when he takes her by the hand, all of which is very not cool of him. In short, this whole plot was super rushed and felt very forced. Toxic would be the best word to describe it. But I understand this was the 80’s so they’re not gonna take time to develop a romance in a cartoon at all. It’s definitely not my favorite episode, but if nothing else, it was fun to analyze!
I do still plan on analyzing Autobot Spike, and Decepticon Raider in King Arthur’s Court, as well as the 1985 children’s books I found a while back, but it’s probably going to be pretty slow, so please be patient with me.
Hope you all enjoyed this, and I hope y’all have a good day!
