I see many fake Doms and Daddies out there who enjoy punishing their little, over minor infractions, and just so they can feel the power of being a Dom. This isn’t how to be a proper Dom. It gives the sub/little/pet no chance to understand, and can often do more damage than it does good.
Punishments aren’t supposed to be given to prove that you’re in control. A proper Daddy has that control already, but doesn’t use it if he can avoid it, unless it’s in play, and both the little and caregiver agree to it. Punishment is supposed to correct a behavior that is wrong. That is why punishments are given.
I have a policy of “Tell, Teach, Warn, Threaten, Punish”. This policy is designed to give the little every chance to correct their behavior before giving the punishment. This policy is designed to help the little grow, and make sure that their behavior isn’t because they forget, or just want attention. Oftentimes, littles will misbehave if they don’t feel well, want attention, or are feeling needy. This policy tries to take that into account, and be as loving as I can be, while still being strict about upholding the structure put in place. If the rules are allowed to be broken without consequences, what, then, is the point of having them?
The first time a little breaks a rule or misbehaves, I tell them. This is a simple reminder, in case they forgot, or didn’t know better. (They should, but we’re all human!) This is gentle.
If the little breaks a rule a second time, they didn’t get the message the first time, or something else is going on. This is the time to talk to them, and see if they’re okay. I teach them why I put the rule in place, how it helps them, or me, and explain to them what happens when that rule is broken. It’s a gentle lecture, a little more strict than the tell, but still designed to help build them up.
The warning comes the third time a rule is broken. I’ve told them that their behavior isn’t okay, and explained why. Now it’s time to warn them that if this behavior keeps up, corrective action will take place. This should be stern, but not threatening. This tells the little that this is no longer a game (this doesn’t apply to playful brattiness where both little and caregiver are having fun).
I’ve warned them. I’ve taught them why their behavior is wrong, and why the rule is in place, and they know what they’re doing is wrong. Now comes the time to explicitly tell them that the next time a rule is broken, they will get a punishment. They’ve had plenty of warning now.
If, again, they break the rule, it’s time for corrective action. I could write an entire post about what kinds of punishments are okay and not okay, that’s a story for another time. But the little continuously disobeys, they need corrective action, and consequences. I’ve done everything I can to help them, to teach them, to explain to them, and even given warnings. It’s now time to punish them.
I don’t punish for fun. I do NOT enjoy punishing my little, but I will if I need to. I much prefer positive reinforcement, and education rather than enforcing a punishment. But sometimes it’s necessary. With this policy, I can be sure that I’ve done everything I can, before resorting to a punishment
It’s worth noting that after any punishment, aftercare should happen. Do not just punish your little, and then leave things. care for them. They’re probably feeling vulnerable. Encompass them in your love, and let them know you still love them, even if their behavior was not perfect. You’re their Daddy and caregiver, not a prison warden.
I hope this gives some insight to some of you out there.
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