hipsterspartacus

campy i know 27, bisexual, he/his

[whosthatknocking]

Jupiter Ascending (2015), dir. The Wachowskis

[bgroveart]

Aaaand Jupiter. :) I drew a lot tonight. It feels good.

[punwolf]

I seriously don’t get why a movie about a talking raccoon and walking tree … or a 4th reboot of a weak story about genetically grown dinosaurs who are supposed to be weaponized so murder puppy raptors can go behind enemy lines and kill soldiers… is somehow worse than space Draconians and the Wolfman rescue modern Cinderella. Don’t get me wrong, I love Guardians of the Galaxy. I enjoyed the latest installment of Jurrassic World… Park… Dinos vs. People and people lose again… a lot. They all do their job. They entertain me. So does Jupiter Ascending, though. I don’t understand why people were so down on that film. I thought the protagonist worked. She wasn’t a bad ass Sarah Conner but neither was Sarah Conner at the beginning of Terminator 1. She trained herself to be that woman by T2. Ripley? Definite bad assery right there. Classic bad ass in space. She was a civilian and got through things with the help of some space marines, her wits, and while scared to death half the time in the first 2 movies. Leia Organa? Total bad ass. Love her, but she was trained to direct her innate courage and intellect. Jupiter Jones is just a woman (like early Sarah Conner) doing a crap job in a mediocre life. She gets smart quickly and adapts well to her environment not by being able to suddenly gain combat training out of nowhere but using her brains. She gets kidnapped a lot, but weren’t there … 2… 3? Liam Neeson movies where somebody gets taken and then Dad/Husband/Other family goes running across the planet to rescue the kidapp-ee? It made sense that Jupiter got tossed around in a political mess because of the base storyline. Was it a perfect storyline? Does a talking space raccoon and walking tree really make any more sense? Just because it’s set to cool 80′s music and has Chris Pratt doesn’t make it more solid. Granted the Marvel movies tend to have more humor and that was part of what sells Guardians of the Galaxy for me. Action, humor and great FX. Well Jupiter Ascending has space Draconians, romancable wolfman and space furries. So I’m just as sold on that. The plot wasn’t any worse than “let’s train the raptors to eat enemy soldiers” as far as I’m concerned. Or a lot of other movies out there that I like, but that doesn’t make them grand cinema.

A lot of movies are just fun and I thought Jupiter Ascending fit that category. The only complaint I would have was that one of the action scenes felt a little bit too long. My attention was close to wandering and it could have been wrapped a little sooner. Other than that? Space Draconians, man, it’s like D&D with space ships. I give it 2 thumbs up.

[ddddario]

True dat.

[jorindelle]

Jupiter Ascending (2015) + Iconic Lines

[sapphicstarships-deactivated201]

Okay but I’ve been thinking about the massive backlash over Channing Tatum being cast as Gambit, and just about the Tatum-hate in general, and I’m just gonna say it: I think it’s sexist. 

Remember when Channing Tatum first came onto the scene and he was in that Nicholas Sparks movie and then he was in Magic Mike and women were all about the Channing Tatum life? Then you got men saying, “Blegghh Channing Tatum sucks, he’s not a good actor, he’s a dumb jock-type, what about real actors” 

I think the main driving force behind that original wave of men saying, “Channing Tatum is stupid, only girls like him because he’s hot, he’s not even a good actor, blah blah blah” was backlash against him because women liked him. It’s the same reason Dirty Dancing is sneered at by film critics and labeled a dumb chick flick, but Saturday Night Fever is classic Serious Cinema. 

Channing Tatum isn’t a bad actor, he gave critically acclaimed performances in Foxcatcher and Magic Mike both. He’s not stupid: (That all-female Ghostbusters you’re so psyched about? He’s one of the main producers and backers. He also produced Earth Made of Glass with his wife, which is a major, award-winning documentary about the Rwandan genocide, 21 Jump Street and the sequel, which had massive box office grosses, and Magic Mike was literally based on his life. It was his idea, his story, and he co-wrote). He’s not an idiot by any means at all, and the fact that he has ADD and severe dyslexia make the whole “stupid buff guy” stereotype people associate with him kinda sketchy. 

Anyway, after men started lashing out against him because he was popular with women (and Lord forbid something women like be considered quality), then you got women saying, “Well, I just don’t think Channing Tatum is attractive.” or “I don’t like Channing Tatum, I like ~real actors~” and it was all permeated with an underlayer of “…not like those dumb, bimbo other girls.” It’s the same shit as, “I just don’t get along with women, I get along with boys better.” It’s a subtle, maybe even unconscious way of saying, “I think like you, boys, please accept me. I’m better than those girls, please don’t treat me the way you treat them.”

TL;DR: Channing Tatum is a recovering alcoholic and former sex worker with ADD and severe dyslexia who is frequently unfairly lambasted just because he has the audacity to be popular with women. 

here’s a gif of him feeding a puppy soup. please examine your life choices.

[octoswan]

I just have to ask, what makes you like Jupiter ascending? Is it like an ironic like or something? Like Sharknado? So bad it's good? Cause I tried watching it and honestly, for me, it went over that line of funny bad and just was too long. I'm genuinely curious cause I might watch it again

I LOVE it, unironically my friend! And no, not like Sharknado. I went into the movie expecting nothing, and got EVERYTHING! Here are posts that can better explain why I love Jupiter Ascending! 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  (i’ll be reblogging these shortly)

They were going for a Fifth Element vibe to the universe, and in that I think they succeeded, but the awkward pacing thwarted the film. Yes, it was long, but on my 3 theater viewings (I NEVER view a movie more than twice in theaters usually), it never seemed long enough. It’s not a Serious Film To Be Taken Seriously. It clearly doesn’t claim to be from the get-go. Just like the original Star Wars films aren’t serious. JA is a fun story with a vast, lavish universe–a universe that, unfortunately, came on too strongly to some (pacing!). It’s a space opera for women, and damn, I wanna explore that universe so BAD!!!! You can really tell that this film was a labor of love, down to every rich detail, and that’s something I appreciated on the first watch and continue to appreciate. It’s a film made of pure joy, my friend. 

Honestly though, a lot of the JA hate seems to come from people thinking it should have been super serious gritty sci-fi, just like some people thought Pacific Rim was silly and frivolous–sci-fi isn’t often allowed to just be fun. Especially sci-fi with women leads. 🤔

I would recommend giving it a second chance. Who knows, you might love it this time around, or you might still not like it. Not every film is for everyone. But damn, I love it!!!

[alienfromsirius]

When I arrived at home,I saw this.

Some evilness had happened before I arrived.

He showed himself as innocent,but the photo says everything.

This happens when you keep an evil alien lord at home.

The other doll is Snufkin from Moomins,he is handmade too as Balem.He is a wanderer,namely a homeless person.The Lord of the Universe and the homeless boy.It is a nice ship.

But most of the time,they get along well with each other.

(Really,my father pushed up the other doll,Snufkin.)

[fuckyeahjupiterascending]

Puppy love!

[lousysharkbutt]

guess what i got on dvd for two dollars

[koroa]

requested Jupiter :)

[fuckyeahjupiterascending]

Audiences were thoroughly unprepared for just how weird The Wachowskis really are this year, when Jupiter Ascending baffled just about everybody and was accused of being downright awful. But “weird” is not the same as “awful” and this elaborate and eccentric sci-fi epic, about a woman from the lowest class in the galaxy who discovers she’s suddenly inherited the planet Earth, spoke to many relevant social issues, viciously subverted the old-fashioned “princess fantasy” genre, and boasted the most wonderfully over the top villain performance in years, courtesy of recent Oscar-winner Eddie Redmayne. It’s a fun, challenging film that flies in the face of the mainstream, for better or worse, and it deserves more recognition for that.

William Bibbiani providing a sterling defence of Jupiter Ascending in his list of the 15 Most Underrated Films of 2015 (via fuckyeahjupiterascending)

[koroa]

Balem for anon :D

[nonethelis]

im dying bc that’s the plot to jupiter ascending 

[seaslugsapphic]

2015: year of the space fuckboy

[fuckyeahjupiterascending]

15 Reasons "Jupiter Ascending" Was Secretly The Greatest Film Of 2015

This movie's basically what would happen if Star Wars had a trashbaby with Evanescence.

I enjoy Buzzfeed’s editorial stance on Jupiter Ascending. It’s shrieky and flail-y, but it’s the kind of shrieky and flail-y I can totally get behind. For example:

This was a film that reminded us: No matter how shitty our lives get, we might secretly be immortal space royalty.

Beware, though: Being an immortal space queen comes with incest and very melodramatic assassination attempts from your space family.

Eddie Redmayne lounged around evilly like a majestic snake in a glitter cape. That should really be enough for any movie.

[ddddario]

Objectified man of the week

[filmhall]

Mila Kunis in Jupiter Ascending