De12Anne

about | bio | semi-hiatus In an attempt to create a more powerful and deadly mutant, the project known as De-12 was genetically engineered from the DNA of multiple mutants in addition to unknown sources. After sixteen years as the pet project of the mysterious alien known only as Daze, the lines between natural mutation and alien technology have begun to blur. Desensitized to death—and to causing it—she is now a force to be reckoned with. All is not lost, though. As of late, the nameless girl has begun questioning who she is and the way things are. Will you show her the way, or lead her further down this blood-stained path? I track #de12anne | Skype Available Upon Request Please view all credits and disclaimers here

[de12anne]

fledgling-phoenix-ray:

Rachel opened her mouth to answer, but as usually happened with Dee, Rachel didn’t know what to tell her at first. “Because it’s Christmas….okay not a good answer you haven’t had Christmas…I haven’t either since I was nine. I guess because I remembered how everything seems happier around Christmas. The lights, decorating the tree, Santa, even if I don’t know if Santa is real anymore…making cookies…all the family things. This is what you do for Christmas its happy memories, it’s normal, it makes me feel like I’m not as broken as they made me. Maybe it’s silly, I mean no tree or lights…but it makes me feel happy and I wanted to make you happy too…we’re not just broken science experiments and pawns anymore, we’re family and this is what family does for Christmas.”

Dee stared quizzically at first. She wouldn’t have called it a bad answer, since she didn’t know what a good answer would be, but she agreed with Rachel that ‘because it’s Christmas’ wasn’t very helpful. The answers after that made more sense, though. Ray associated Christmas with positive memories, and came to the conclusion based on her childhood experience that observing Christmas caused happy memories.

Dee laughed when Ray said she didn’t know if Santa was real, then stopped herself when she realized Rachel might not have been joking. “Santa is a myth, and myths are real, but they’re not factual,” she noted. “Like...fairy tales are fictional, but the books that tell them exist, and people can have real memories of reading a real book that tells a fictional story. So fairy tales are a real thing, but fictional stories nonetheless.” She wasn’t sure if she was getting better at being sensitive or not, but she was trying. “I...I don’t think it’s silly. If it makes you happy, then it’s reasonable to think it could also make me happy. I don’t know if Christmas does, but... it makes me happy that you want me to also feel happy.”

Her cheeks felt warm and she was embarrassed by it, which only made them more rosy. “‘Experiment’ implies an attempt to test a hypothesis or make a discovery,” Dee mumbled. “‘Obsolete product’ is more accurate than ‘broken science experiment’...and not all families celebrate Christmas, so that statement is obviously false.” She didn’t know why she felt the need be pedantic and contradict Ray. She knew that wasn’t what Rachel meant, and she wanted to apologize, but all she could manage was an ashamed, sorrowful look at Ray. Why was everything she did destructive?

[de12anne]

fledgling-phoenix-ray:

“What do you want to know?” She smiled. Rachel had started finding cheap Dollar Store Christmas decorations for their tiny one bedroom apartment. She was currently sticking Christmas window clings to their living room window. And there were silvery tinsel hanging in the doorways. 

“I want to know whatever I should know but don’t.” The decorations were pretty, but why was it so important to Ray? Each Dollar Store decoration could have bought them canned beans or vegetables or ramen. Ray didn’t have family to celebrate with, didn’t strike her as particularly religious, and wasn’t nearly as exposed to the consumeristic aspect of secular Christmas as most Americans. “I can tell it’s important to you, but I don’t understand why.”

[de12anne]

“I---I feel confused, Rachel. I know all about Christmas, but when you talk about it, it sounds like something else. I think... it’s possible my tutors left information out, and...” She fidgeted nervously, embarrassment preventing her from making eye contact. “I think I would like to understand more?”

@fledgling-phoenix-ray

[de12anne]

fledgling-phoenix-ray:

Rachel shook her head, “No, no, don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. Just some times it hurts a lot knowing what I’ve done…but you couldn’t have known that…” She cleared her throat trying to force down the frog in it. “It’s not your fault, I’m not upset because of you Dee, I know you want to ask questions…I want you to ask questions, you just have to forgive me if I get a little emotional trying to answer okay.”

Rachel felt helpless, she was trying to be open and honest with Dee, but she also knew Dee still searched for ulterior motives and second guessed everything Ray said and did. It wasn’t Dee’s fault, she’d been conditioned to do that. It made Rachel’s head hurt trying to figure the other girl out sometimes.

She wondered how Dee would respond to her next question as Rachel dried her eyes, “Hey kiddo, you wanna go get some ice cream?”

“Sorry---oh, I did it again!” Dee clenched her fists and slammed them against her legs in frustration with herself, but she didn’t dare do anything more that would cause herself harm, because Rachel didn’t want her to do that, either. Her hands shook with the effort. “Forgive you?” No one had ever asked for her forgiveness. No one needed or desired or cared about her forgiveness. Forgiveness was something people---not weapons---did, which she didn’t understand. “Do I understand correctly? Some of my questions may make you emotional, but you would still like me to ask questions when I want to, and you won’t be mad at me?” The struggle to determine what else---if anything---to say was visible through her face’s changing expressions, most of which looked pained. Ultimately, she was too conflicted to speak, and merely sighed.

“Me?” she questioned, surprised to be called ‘kiddo’. “If you would like to.” She’d never had ice cream and wasn’t particularly curious about it, but she wanted to please Rachel, and she could observe other people, too. “I think it would be a good learning opportunity.”

[glumshoe]

For everyone planning to kill themselves in the event of a Trump victory:

Don’t.

We need you. The world needs you. We’ve been through this before, in one way or another, and we have prevailed. Who benefits from your death? Only those who want you silenced.

There will be blue skies ahead. There will be triumphs. This is not the end of the world.

Do not go gentle - we are here today because of the stubborn refusal of our predecessors to go away. There are oases even in the darkest of times. You are not alone, and you have not been abandoned. There *will* be blue skies ahead, and you will live to see them.

[levifold]

List of Suicide Crisis supports in the USA:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1800-273-8255

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Online Chat

Crisis Text Line: Text START to 741-741

The Trevor Project (LBGT+):  1-866-488-7386

Trans Lifeline:  [phone]

If you need support outside the USA:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

[peartower]

Please share. Stay Strong. 

[de12anne]

lxci:

REBLOG if you don’t mind other muses falling in love with your muse, even when it is unrequited.

[de12anne]

[[ A few icons of little Ray for @fledgling-phoenix-ray. ]]

[chaoticvictors-archive]

[chaoticvictors-archive]

morethanchaosvictors:

I’m meaner than my demons….

Bigger than these bones…

MORETHANCHAOSVICTORS

Semi Selective Marvel OC OC/Multiship/AU friendly 11+ years rp experience Mun is 24 and a total dork!

* THANKS TO THE SPLENDID @turnonthe8-track FOR THE PROMO!

READ RULES AND BIO

[theliteraryjournals]

Yes, as a tool I may prove good for something. But as a human being I am a wreck.

Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina (via bedlamgospel)

[luthienne]

It does me no good; violence has changed me. / My body has grown cold like the stripped fields; / now there is only my mind, cautious and wary, / with the sense it is being tested.

Louise Glück, from Averno; “October” (via masochisticsadist)

[chaoticvictors-archive]

Trust||Deanne

[de12anne]

morethanchaosvictors:

@de12anne liked for a starter!

Martin gave the girl a hollow laugh and turned toward her. “I’m sorry, I don’t trust easily, and you haven’t gave me any reason to.” He cast his gaze from her, instead, looking at the sky. “Something about you just seems off, and I know a few things about sensing. What do you need my help with anyway?’

“Oh, sorry.” De-12 said. What did people say to build trust? There must have been some trust, she thought, because he looked at the sky instead of her. Unless he didn’t need to worry about being attacked for some reason. “What things do you know about sensing?” There was no surprise on her face. There was a lot ‘off’ about her, not limited to the streaks of silver on the surface of her body, but she didn’t know if that was what he meant. “A map. Or transportation. Or food.”

[theliteraryjournals]

Yes, as a tool I may prove good for something. But as a human being I am a wreck.

Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina (via bedlamgospel)

[aithreachas-a]

[de12anne]

aithreachas:

Gillian Flynn, Sharp Objects

[de12anne]

ooc | I just finished Stranger Things and holy socks, Batman! Eleven is a perfect cross between De-12 and Alma in personality, appearance, and powers, and now I want to write them both even more. So... starter call anyone? Or does anyone want to meet Alma? (totally looking at you @fledgling-phoenix-ray if you can handle one more of my disturbing yet lovable OCs)

[de12anne]

I love the ships when

Person A: Is a total badass. Doesn't need no one. Kicks ass and takes names.

Person B: *touches person A*

Person A: *melts into a puddle

[de12anne]

me @ me: just talk to them u guys are mutuals

also me @ me: BUT AM I MUTUAL ENOUGH????

[fledgling-phoenix-ray-archi-blo]

Rachel shook her head, “I was fighting them because they were evil people. They wanted to experiment on and kill people who were different from them. They were evil people, they weren’t making me good they were twisting me into a monster. They didn’t give me a choice because I never would have willingly helped them so they had to make me with drugs and pain and I didn’t fight hard enough and they won and now I have so much blood on my hands.” Rachel moved way from Dee, mostly so she wouldn’t hurt her trying to stay calm, instead, she drew in on herself as she spoke.

“I don’t know, that’s up to you, Dee,” Rachel answered.

[de12anne]

Dee frowned with concern. She had upset Rachel. She wanted to ask more questions so that perhaps she could understand, but was afraid of making it worse. Rachel had said she wouldn’t hurt her, but maybe when Rachel said that, she didn’t know how upsetting De-12---Dee---could be. “Yes, ma’am---Ray---’m sorry---yes Ray.” Maybe it would just be better to learn by observation and following Rachel’s lead instead of asking so many questions or trying to compare herself to Ray, even if they were alike in some ways. The ways they differed were still too big. “Is, um---can I do anything to---is there something...I’m sorry I suggested you were like I am.” As Rachel moved away, Dee reminded herself that Rachel promised she wasn’t going to abandon her or punish her with isolation, and stayed still and quiet. She needed to try to trust her, like Rachel wanted. Ray would tire of her if she acted needy. Maybe Ray would notice her restraint and be pleased.