yes tha URL is ironic but also not at all

sideblog for book hyperfixations 

[stinkylittlegnome]

[angel-demiel]

[celebrimbot]

the sons of fëanor

[akitasenseidraws]

What are they scheming? 🤔

[elvenlords]

Maekar is so tired and so very, very Done.

[lotharbarbarian]

Lord of the rings from Saurons perspective is a fucking fever dream because he started by reforming his essence into some physical form in mirkwood and before he even has enough strength to feel that the ring was even in the same forest as him he gets chased off by a group of wizards and elves looking to fuck some shit up. There goes his plan to get a dragon on his side

So he holds up in mordor gathering a new army, and only after about a century is he strong enough to do cool magic shit again, by that time however the ring hadnt been used in decades so there were no whispers of it except oops we found this weird little fucker who keeps yelling about his fucking precious, better go check out “shire baggins” whatever the fuck that is

So he finds out a fucking hobbit has his ring which in middle earth terms is like finding out mr magoo has your fucking nuclear launch codes. So he starts sending wave after wave of his own men to get the ring and they keep failing cause this fucking hobbit has friends. He has his homie saruman send some uruk-hai to get them and then sends some goblins to make sure everything goes right but for no apparent reason they stop reporting in, (something about horses and trees?) so he sends a guy to ask saruman straight out wheres my fucking ring and saruman straight up lies about it. Next thing he hears saruman has launched an all our invasion of rohan with 10000 uruk-hai so rip the bronies right? Nope the next day his army is defeated and saruman has fucking vanished.

Confused as fuck now sauron gets a fucking phone call from a god damn hobbit (ITS YOU!) but all he gets out of the little sovereign citizen is some shit about “i do not answer questions” and next thing he hears the hobbit has gone to fucking gondor. Alright send fucking everything we got, take gondor do whatever it takes get my fucking ring back. And what does he have to worry about right? After all even if rohan helps he’ll still win. Wtf is that an army of ghosts???!?!?!?

So then hes sitting there with his diminished army trying to figure out his next plan of attack and he gets another fucking phone call from the god damn great grandson of the prick who cut off his ring in the first place. “Oi cunt i got ur ring and im gonna fuc u up m8!” *click*

Goody he thinks, this arrogant sob is gonna bring my ring right to me, time to throw everything i got at this bastard. So then the fight starts hes super excited cause hes clearly winning and OH DEAR GOD MY RING IS IN THE VOLCANO HOW THE FU- *dies*

Now hes a weird ghost thing that cant ever do anything but lament how big a prick he is

[kisses-in-the-void]

I love Sauron who is confident in his ways of acting and thinking. I love Sauron as a villain who was never fascinated or tempted by the light, whether it was the jewels containing Iluvatar’s light or the most beautiful Elven maiden. I love Sauron who never felt the need to "balance" himself with "good". I love Sauron who was drawn to Melkor’s darkness from the dawn of Arda, who chose to serve and worship it, and who was happy doing so. I love Sauron who willingly chose to name himself "Morgoth Returned", cementing all his previous beliefs and doubling down on them.

I love Sauron who was so arrogant and so cruel that the only way he was willing to let other beings exist was if they acknowledged his "inherent, god-like superiority". I love Sauron who believed he was healing Middle-earth with fire and blood. I love Sauron who never wanted to form sincere bonds with those he deemed lesser than himself, and whose only language with them was either deception or death.

I love Sauron as corrupt and cruel to the core, devoted to that image and always finding ways to prove it to his enemies, whether by feeding prisoners to werewolves, tormenting a widower with visions of his wife, performing human sacrifices, or even just stealing ONLY black horses. I love how he comes so close to being a stereotypical, almost cartoonish villain, and yet remains so interesting and complex.

I love him so much 🖤🖤🖤

[sufjansjoy]

sure he’s got a great physical penis but there is an overwhelming deficiency in his spiritual penis which repels me

[yuinevo]

Brothers

[revans]

i cant for the life of me find the "happy headcanons" post, but here's a funny one that jack and i love: fingolfin is a tea *connoisseur.* he grows all sorts, esp after reembodiment, and puts together special individual blends for people. he knows fëanor has a sweet tooth, so he makes the most disgustingly sweet blend of teas for him as a gift.

fëanor proceeds to put 3 sugarcubes in the cup. fingolfin just sighs.

[the-mysterious-stranger]

which silmarillion character

[kiivg]

.Fellas, is it gay to devote your life to following another man around until he dies so you can write an epic poem about him?.

[a-wayfairing-stranger]

I walk on to the stage, illumiated by a single spotlight, I walk up to the mircophone and clear my throat.

“Felix Jaeger is a twink.” I say proudly into the mircophone

The crowd boos.

Then one person stands up clapping, I find them, my lone supporter.

Its Gotrek Gurnisson

[baby-dragons-art]

Fëanor and the Silmarills! Next drawing from the poll will be Finrod!

[kulumukun]

i have abandoned this acc for a while, but yayy, today i brought melkor and manwe!!

[swellbythewind]

The Ruin Of Doriath

the last memory of Doriath，move on in sorrow

not my art but my commission.

Artist：我死了你们就满意了

[tusssvm]

dude fell victim to my hair rendering studies

[lemoneyshipz]

wip 🚧 the fairest lil maia

(idk if i keep the glowy eyes i kinda like both👀)

melk is up next promise 😩