A safe place for Deaf and/or disabled people

[Header and avatar ID: both are the same image. The top half of the image is the disability pride flag and the bottom half is the Deaf pride flag. End ID]

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

This is a blog for Deaf and/or disabled people to vent about:

Being Deaf

Being disabled

Audism

Ableism

Intersectional discrimination including ableism and/or audism

This blog is run by Heishi from @primadonna-sys, a DeafDisabled host of a system.

General rules for interacting with this blog:

Be kind and respectful towards your fellow disabled and Deaf people. This is a safe space for all of us.

If you are Hearing and abled, do not comment or add anything when reblogging, including in the tags. This space is not for you, do not treat it as such.

Discrimination is not allowed. You may talk about internalised bigotry, but other than that I will not accept bigoted behaviour or language. This includes (but is not limited to): racism, transphobia, ageism, homophobia, sexism, and intersexism.

Rules for submitting posts and sending asks:

When adding a link, state that it is a link so that screenreader users know. Example: read this (link).

If necessary and possible, tag trigger warnings using the format stated at the bottom of this post. If it is not possible for you to do that, it's okay, I will.

You do not have to be polite when venting, you may be mad and rude.

If you post any images, please provide an image description (ID) for blind and low vision people. Please avoid putting IDs in alt text as tumblr's alt text is unreliable, instead please put IDs underneath images. It is okay if you can't provide an ID, I will.

If you have italics, bold text, a typing quirk, or a fancy font, please provide plain text (PT) for blind and low vision people. It's okay if you can't provide PT, I will.

I will tag trigger warnings using the following format: #tw trigger. Example: if I am tagging a warning for cats, I will tag the post like this #tw cat or #tw cats.

If you require a trigger warning for something specific, that wouldn't be triggering for most people, please let me know and I will tag it.

Other disabled blogs:

@autiebiographical

@canon-disabledcharacteroftheday

@disability-shout-outs

@disableddyke

@disabled-models

@does-it-like-disabled-people

@elektra-pop

@mewos-laptop

@my-heads-gonna-explode

@postmanic

@thisisableism

@this-is-anti-idd

@this-is-deformimisia

@writing2changetheworld

@yourfavhasdidosdd

Other Deaf blogs:

@powertofail

@this-is-audism

Other DeafDisabled blogs:

@disabled-primadonna

@primadonna-sys

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

do you accept asks about autism?

Autism spectrum disorder is a disability, so yes.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

just found out i've had a diagnosed hearing loss since I was nine years old and nobody thought to tell me

.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

An acquaintance of mine got a cane but mentioned how they didn't want to use other mobility devices, like crutches or wheelchairs, because "people will treat you like you're Disabled". Pissed me off. As a cane and rollator user, I get weird looks and questions. I am treated like I'm Disabled because I AM. "People will treat you like your Disabled" FUCK OFF Some people don't get to choose a mobility device to be seen as more able-bodied. Some people have visible differences and are always seen as disabled and different and THEY CANT CHANGE THAT. "People treat you like you're disabled" Yeah cause ableism is pervasive and constant if you use a mobility device or have a visible difference sorry to hear that you're so against being lumped in with other disabled folks that you can't stand using other mobility devices even though they'd help you.

people HAVE to start getting over their internalized ableism before they interact with other disabled folks istg

.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

omg. where do i begin.

(this is from one of my own posts, I know I made a post worded exactly the same, but i swear it is mine)

so I was at lunch and I have a RogerOn microphone, which I had clipped to the handle of my Chromebook case, and it apparently fell off/got taken (a friend tells me that from the way they were talking, they did something malicious to get it)

I didn't know and went to my class (4th hour) as usual, across the building. In my next class (5th), I was given the microphone by the teacher, who said that she had been given it by another teacher (my 2nd hour teacher).

In 6th hour, my friend told me that they were in that 2nd hour teacher's class, and that a group of boys (who have not stopped harassing me otherwise for over a year now despite allegedly multiple warnings from administrators) were passing the microphone between each other and laughing about it, both in the classroom and the hallway.

By the way, a RogerOn microphone is small, expensive ($1,282–$1,349) and very fragile device that I need to have if I want to also be able to use ear protection.

The teacher took it and explained that it was expensive and that I was the only DHH student in the grade (and the only one who uses that microphone, the others use the Roger Touchscreen mic), so they knew whose it was and made a conscious decision to pass it around like a novelty at Show and Tell instead of actually trying to return it to anyone.

The teacher and I had an email conversation, and it's taken care of now and the microphone is intact and working (one broke from being dropped), but every time I think about it I feel like throwing up so I'm just spitballing into a void

(separate vent, but still relevant)

there's like at least three dhh kids in the grade below me and that's fine right? i don't know them, i don't usually talk to people younger than me because of personal experiences i won't get into now. but i notice all the time that the other students in the grade below me (in their grade) will like. try to have/start conversations with me WHILE I AM WEARING EAR DEFENDERS, and they'll be like "WhY dO yOU haVe a PhOnE" like yes i know it's against your rules, but I have a thing called an iep and you have a thing called being able to mind your business. it's not funny. i'm not using it to scroll on tumblr or tiktok or whatever other social media platforms there are during the school day or anything. and literally any time im doing anything with my hands (like holding MORE THAN ONE ITEM 😱) the people in my grade will inevitably ask to carry something for me which is weird because my literal only physical disability isn't even diagnosed yet so I DO NOT NEED HELP. and it's obvious i don't need their help. i've told them to stop trying to talk to me like so many times i swear

.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

i hate being hard of hearing with a progressive hearing loss. I'm not deaf enough to be Deaf, I'm not hearing enough to be hearing, I'm HoH for the time being but I'll be profoundly deaf before too long. The idea of hearing nothing at all scares me but cochlear implants just feel wrong somehow. I don't know I don't know I don't know I'm scared.

.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

I had a friend who always did this thing where they'd say things like "you need to wake up" randomly, because they knew I had anxiety and sometimes anxiety-induced psychosis. I told them to stop and I explained why - it triggers my anxiety - and they'd always deny that they said anything or say they'd stop but then keep doing it. I managed to deal with it and I put up with it cause I liked them other than that but now that we're not as close... I realise what they were doing was really mean, maybe even psychological abuse. I don't think they were a good friend, even though they always made me feel like I was a bad friend to them even though I was trying really hard. I think they were a bad friend and I'm sad about it because I really liked them but they were really mean to me.

.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

i have a really supportive friend who helps me with my misophonia, but recently I asked her to chew a little quieter(she has adhd and used gum) and I expected her to do the worst of not quieting down but but but she started chewing louder and laughed. I used all my courage to talk to her about it the next day, I didn't hear all of it but at one point she said "I only did it once". I would say "she just forgot" but for a while she remembered better than my mom and a few days earlier she told someone to quiet down when she saw I was in distress.

.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

Somewhat of a vent here. I have Auditory processing disorder and through my years in school I’ve had teachers be hesitant or temporarily refuse to use certain accommodations for it. Often the reasoning is that I wouldn’t have those accommodations in the “real world” and I need to “learn how to hear better” and not rely on others.

It makes me super frustrated when someone thinks like that and acts like I’m not trying or that I’m choosing to forget what they say. I think that most teachers I’ve had problems with don’t realize how the disorder works other than the accommodations asked for, and that they don’t understand my brain simply doesn’t remember the majority of audio gathered.

.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

So we've realized that there's a lot of ableism in our life. Mostly from our mother.

For reference, we are a system and we have ADHD, Autism, Sinus Tachycardia (average of 100+ bpm), and Psychogenic Nonepilleptic Seizures.

She used to get angry and tried to punish us for taking breaks when we were in high school, even though we'd finished whatever we were working on. She thought we were being lazy.

She also tried to bar us from listening to Youtube videos while we worked. Even though it helps us better than regular music sometimes.

She will look us in the eye when we're trying to catch our breath from climbing stairs or something and tell us we're fine.

She never asks us who's fronting or makes an effort to learn about our system, and refers negatively to anyone who isn't our host. If she ever asks questions, it's because someone else engaged the topic.

She actively ignores when we say we're overstimulated. She once forced us to make a phone call while we were overstimulated and it was awful. But then she'll look at us when she's overstimulated and say "you get it." ...Yeah, I'm not sure you do though.

She was in the room when we got diagnosed with PNES and yet when we tell her that we're feeling warning signs of a potential seizure, she acts like we're making it up for attention.

She also tried to punish us for calling 911 once because we'd had seven seizures in a day and passed out during one of them (we usually stay conscious). We called because we were scared. We told her about it before that, and she acted like it was no big deal and there was nothing she could do. Later, at the hospital, she said "well you should have said something, we would have taken you if we knew it was that bad." WE DID. YOU BLATANTLY IGNORED US LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.

Then there was last week. We found out that we could get accomodations at work for our physical disabilities. Our mother tried to actively discourage us from doing it because "It could make it harder to get a job later on". To her credit, she does have a point, but it's the fact that she was actively trying to discourage us from getting something that would help us at work. And the fact that she seemed to think we didn't think of that.

I just- it hit like a brick wall, honestly. I never realized how ableist she acts. Maybe some of the others did. I'm also fairly sure that half of this counts as neglect? Idk. But it's definitely ablist. And I'm getting really tired of it tbh. She acts like she isn't the problem here when she is. She acts all supportive in public, but the moment we're alone, forget having any kind of support from her.

.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

The urge to use my crutches vs the knowledge that people at my school for disenfranchised youth do NOT understand/respect/treat normal disabled people:/

.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

can I submit about disorders like anxiety disorders, depression, and sensory disorders like misophonia?

Yep!

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

Not so much a vent but I'm so scared to ask for an audiology exam. I think at my next annual checkup I'll just mention all my trouble hearing and ask for a basic hearing test and go from there. I put my airpods in hearing aid mode today and it didn't really work for many reasons but I heard my footsteps for the first time. I've been worried about hearing loss since a few years ago when I was in an unrelated very dark place. I haven't had any test since and I'm scared if I bring it up again I'll never get get the help I need and my parents will think I'm in the same dark place. I'm not, I'm really not I'm so much better but I think the borderline loss they ID'd when I was 9 might be something more at this point.

.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

People invalidate my hearing loss / deaf gain all the time. Im learning ASL, involving myself with the culture and community, and they cant understand why because I can still "hear enough to function like a normal human"

.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

oh my god, im so glad theres a deaf blog on here. im happy im not alone on this site.

😊 [smile emoji]

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

My parents do not want to believe I am losing my hearing due to clEDS. I'm so worried I'm going to have to wait until I can't hear fuck to get an audiologist eval, let alone hearing aids and school accomodations.

.

[deaf-and-disabled-vents]

Was watching a video essay about disability in horror and this arsehole called Deaf actor Millie Simmonds "hearing impaired". Jesus christ. How long until Deaf people will be recognised as Deaf?! How long until people will stop ERASING us?! How long until people will stop pretending we don't exist?! We are DEAF! I am not ""hearing impaired"". I do not have "'hearing loss". This is not a loss! This is not a negative! BEING DEAF IS NOT BAD! I LOVE BEING DEAF. FUCK YOU! STOP PRETENDING I'M NOT. STOP ERASING ME. STOP DEMONISING US. STOP. STOP SAYING MY CULTURE AND LANGUAGE AND LIFE IS LESS THAN. YOU. ARE. NOT. BETTER. THAN. ME.

FUCK. YOU.

.