Have you ever kicked a guy in the balls? How effective was it?
Yes. Very.
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@deafeningzombietaco
Have you ever kicked a guy in the balls? How effective was it?
Yes. Very.
Other people on Christmas: I didn't get what I wanted. It took too long to get everyone together. The food wasn't great. I only got __ gifts. What did you get?
Me: *scrounging through my hidden dog treats to give my pup something more than scratches for Christmas*
Me: *being called an "orphan" at other people's table to have food for dinner*
Me: *no gifts, no stress, but having to explain to people why I hate "the spirit of Christmas"*
Me: *Parking triple the distance to my apartment because the neighbor chick wants to have her non-resident guests take all the free parking spaces in front of the building*
$coeurdunpirate
"Rough sea" by Giovanni Allievi
Sometimes I sit around and think of how ✨ incredibly gorgeous ✨ my girlfriend is.. like.. this girl got my bowing down between her legs daily to satisfy the thirst she brings about. She got me gazing from across the room just hoping for that little smile and immediate middle finger for staring too long. She got me daydreaming about her curves and allll the edges. I can't believe I got so lucky.
Julie Andrews burns the President of Warner Brothers during her Best Actress acceptance speech for Mary Poppins at the 1965 Golden Globes Perhaps one of the biggest scandals of Golden Age Hollywood was the decision by Jack Warner, president of Warner Brothers, to cast Audrey Hepburn as Eliza Doolittle in the movie adaptation of My Fair Lady instead of Julie Andrews. Julie originated the role of Eliza on Broadway and in London - which has been heralded as one of the most difficult Broadway characters of all time - for three straight years, stunning audiences around the world. To provide some modern perspective, My Fair Lady was the Hamilton of its time, selling millions of copies of the Broadway recording in a matter of months, every single Broadway and London show sold-out for its entire record-breaking run. To everyone at the time, Julie was Eliza Doolittle, so to see her passed up for the movie adaptaion sent shockwaves through Hollywood. However, because Jack passed on Julie for the role, Walt Disney was able to cast her in Mary Poppins, for which she won both a Golden Globe and an Oscar. Julie stated of the Golden Globes night: “I suddenly realized that if Jack Warner had asked me to do My Fair Lady, which I missed out on, I would never have been able to do Mary Poppins.” Her dig - deft, quick, and spoken in her classically sweet nature - took enormous courage, delivering it to the most powerful man in Hollywood in front of all his peers. A member of the audience stated: “Everybody screamed. It was like a thunderous scream, everyone was laughing [including Jack Warner, pictured above]. That was her little sweet revenge.”
what's so great about the mummy 1999?
are you ready for this?
it is the most wonderfully made, historically inaccurate, giddily fun, perfectly paced, goofy horror movie romance novel bullshit bonanza that has ever blessed the silver screen.
i mean it is just so beautifully full of every genre without being overwhelming.we’ve got: comedy, action, suspense, horror, romance, adventure, ancient aesthetics, and it’s a period piece. all perfectly balanced and blended into one movie.
and the characters are so LIT
we got our main babe, evelyn “motherfucking” carnahan, a super-klutz librarian, total history nerd, and certified badass/damsel in distress. she raises the dead on accident, because she cannot resist books, and has the guts to put that motherfucker back where he came from and literally saves the world.evie’s greatest hits:
“what is a place like me, doing in a girl like this?!”
*after totally destroying the library* “i’ve just made a bit of a mess in the library.”
“no harm ever came from reading a book.”
evelyn: *upon opening the tomb* “i’ve dreamt about this since i was a little girl.”rick: “you dream about dead guys?”
“oops.”
then we’ve got rick “brendan fraser” o’connell, your not-so-typical battle hardened gun slinger with a heart of gold. he seems filthy, rude, and a complete scoundrel at first, but then he turns into a literal puppy, with massive heart eyes, that worships the ground evie walks on.rick’s greatest hits:
*screams at mummy*
*screams at sand*
*screams at things that are illogical to scream at*
*screams*
next is our Comedic Relief Character™, jonathan carnahan, who also rises above his trope. he’s there for the laugh sure, but is never useless. he actively helps to move the plot along and isn’t just there. he also is the farthest thing from brainless and annoying.jonathan’s greatest hits:
evelyn: “have you no respect for the dead?”jonathan: “of course i do, but sometimes i’d rather like to join them.” same.
oh and that time he was like “IMHOTEP” and saved his own ass like that was so smooth, y’all know what i’m talking about right??
then there is ardeth BAE. he is the audience rolling his eyes because *sighs* white people. he’s tired of these motherfucking mummies in this motherfucking desert. literally prettier than everyone.(he has a much bigger role in the mummy returns, but is still so fab here)
and of course THE MUMMY. imhotep. actual emo. literally carved some poetry into the back of his sarcophagus when he was buried alive with flesh eating bugs, because he is that Extra™. just wants to bring his girlfriend back to life so he can make out with her without it being treason.
and all the side characters are also gr8.
now i wanna take a moment to talk about the romance. because it is so BEAUTIFUL. like usually in action movies it’s macho man undermines girl and they bone. not here. no time for that shit.
rick and evie have such a great relationship based on mutual respect and affection. they both cater to each other’s strengths and cover each other’s weaknesses. they are the literally definition of: “those two. in a fight, they’re lethal. around each other, they melt”
what else, i could literally talk about this movie all day.
the special effects have held up pretty well.the music score is GORGEOUS.the costumes are amazing.the makeup, especially for anck su namun, OH WOW.the george of the jungle era brendan fraser sign me the fuck up.rachel weisz.
so many good things.
it’s just great.
#i secretly rate every action movie from 0 to the mummy
it’s a beautiful mess of a movie that can be enjoyed by people of all ages and transcends time and posterity as the alpha mummy movie, and to those who disagree i beseech you:
A most accurate assessment. All hail 1999′s The Mummy.
I approve this post
“…There is hardly a thing I can say in its favor, except that I was cheered by nearly every minute of it. I cannot argue for the script, the direction, the acting or even the mummy, but I can say that I was not bored and sometimes I was unreasonably pleased..“ - Roger Ebert
All the above pretty much sums it up. :)
It is a truly fantastic movie.
I’m not sure how many of my mutuals are familiar with the Bollywood classics of the seventies… but they too tended to blend action, romance, comedy (and a good deal of singing and dancing numbers) all into the same movie.
I say with high reverence that The Mummy is one of the most Bollywood of the big studio western movies in all the best ways.
nothing is awkward or cheesy if you dont give a fuck. im on this earth to have a good time not to be seen as cool
Listen. Do it for the aesthetic. If you want to fill an entire 20 dollar sketchbook with anatomy drawings fucling do it. If you wanna get lost in the woods and come stumbling home with a bag of dried mushrooms and bones you go goblin dude. You aren't alive to go to work and hurt!! You're alive because bumblebees bump into little flowers and dandelions only open up in the sun! You're alive because cats purr when you pet them and coffee keeps you up all night!! Do everything for the aesthetic!!
Every time I see this I think “why would this duck want to feed fish?” and then I remember that I also occasionally want to feed fish so why wouldn’t the duck?
Only gays can reblog this frog (scientifically proven)
“I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself.”
— Franz Kafka
@oisin
Beautiful metal tree art….
Bro didn’t have to go that hard but he did