Oh my God. Okay fam, this is the big one. I waited SO LONG for this op and their autos and these two items are now my most cherished possessions.
On Saturday, I brought my copy of the @deancasanthology through the line. (This was after he signed our op so I could shake off a little of the nerves!) I brought it held open to the correct page and pointed out the blank space to his handler indicating where I wanted him to sign it. As he did this, I started explaining that this is a copy of a book that I was chosen to be published in. At this point, Misha shut the fucking book to look at the cover, which is definitely destiel fanart omg… I literally said “no-” but it was too late! I looked up at the ceiling and prayed I would not be murdered. I rushed to say, “that’s-you don’t have to look at that-that’s not really the point. The point is I’m really proud of it and you mean a lot to me.” Misha, the bastard, smirked at me and handed it back with a wink. He shook my hand and congratulated me. I was so emotional about it that I didn’t make it around the corner before I started sobbing.
Now, I had planned this purposefully knowing that Misha would sign it on Saturday prior to Sunday, the day of the op and Jensen’s autos. Therefore, when I walked up for the photo (I was something like seventh in line? and jesus christ jensen and misha cannot keep their eyes off of each other can they) I was holding it up just like you see in the pic and Misha WINKED AT ME OKAY. With my back to Chris, I looked at Misha and I said, “do you remember my book?” And he said yep. (mini death here) Then I turned to Jensen, who watched us just then but he doesn’t know about the book and there’s no time to explain it. So I say, “will you guys look like you’re really proud of me?” He said, “okay!” And THIS ladies, gentlemen, and lizard-people, is what that looks like. I walked out of the room on cloud nine, honestly. I had no idea it was going to turn out like that, and believe me when I say I full on sat staring at it sobbing for several minutes.
That night I had one of the final Jensen autos (a silver pass, row P) and it started exactly the same as Misha’s, book opened in front of him. Jensen didn’t close the book thank fuck but when he noticed Misha’s signature, he put down the black marker he’d been holding and switched to the silver one to match. I gave him the same speech, saying that “you guys inspire me with your creativity.” Jensen replied with a simple but unforgettable line: “thank you for your creativity.” Again, he is very sick, it is late at night at the end of a very busy day, and he took the time to thank me for being a writer.
Being chosen for the anthology is the biggest honor and one of the highlights of my career of writing fanfiction. These moments with Misha and Jensen where they congratulated and thanked me are absolutely precious to me and will certainly be motivations going forward for remembering that yes, this is VALID and I’m a real writer, dammit. I have nothing but love for them that they were so supportive and I’m just still in shock tbh. Definitely cried writing this so bye.
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