Wowzers! Happy Thanksgiving to all you BHLers out there, it’s Dean Puck here. This year (like every year) I’m most thankful for the BHL, and especially so for the colossal feast of games we saw in Week 2 of BHL V. Last night featured thirty nine matches, an effort never before tried in the BHL. Week 2 was a real treat for lovers of offenses firing on cylinders, as we saw a huge league wide increase in shooting accuracy.
Bottom dwellers the Vanilla Beans grinded out their first win. Wallabies took a game off returning rivals the Hawks in a grueling endurance test that extended into eighth overtime. Brown Sox and Sewer Rats made strong statements, both ending the night with no losses and the Rusty Gloves utterly collapsed with the worst offensive performance of the night.
Let’s see how all the teams performed in Week 2.
BHL V POWER RANKING — WEEK 2
1. Brown Sox (+1)
Division: Goldies
Week: 7-0
Overall: 10-1
Division: 5-0
It was only a matter of time before the Brown Sox would make an appearance at the top of the power ranking. The Sox had a remarkable night scoring 31 goals on 57 shots with a shooting accuracy of 54%. No slouches on the defensive side of the ice either, the Sox only allowed 7 goals and 21 shots over seven games. While not leading the league in any category this week, this are definitely the BHL’s most well rounded team. The only room for improvement is in goaltending. They had a subpar save percentage of 66%, an 18% regression from Week 1. Still, when sitting pretty as the league’s leading team, it’s hard to complain.
Division: Goldies
Week: 6-0
Overall: 8-1
Division: 3-1
The Sewer Rats continued their defensive dominance in Week 2 with league lows of 4 GA and 20 SA, and had their second consecutive week with a save percentage of 80% or greater, the best in the league. Not often known for their high scoring offense, the Rats this week were third with 20 GF and 55 SF. Even if without dropping a match-up this week, it looks like the Rats still don’t have any room for error if they hope to take the top seed in the division, good thing Sewer Rats stay scurryin’.
Division: Howitzers
Week: 6-1
Overall: 9-2
Division: 4-1
Do not, I repeat, do not doubt the Cuntry Bumpkins. Rebel yelling their way to league highs of 34 goals and 70 shots, the southern rapscallions were this weeks most relentless offense only being slowed by a formidable Sewer Rats defense. Although the Rusty Gloves played better last week, the Bumpkins took their missteps in stride and improved their game on both sides of the ice. This team looks finals bound.
Division: Howitzers
Week: 4-3
Overall: 4-3
Division: 1-2
Flowsa hit the ice completely fresh and instantly fell into those same old flows. Despite being a clear cut below the top three of this weeks power ranking, Flowsa had a very positive night. They played competitive games with the Cuntry Bumpkins and Brown Sox, while takings wins off the Rusty Gloves and Matt Collins’. Offensively Flowsa were productive, top five in both goals with 17 and shooting accuracy with 45%. Defensively however, they struggled with positioning allowing 52 SA ranking them among the bottom three in the league. As Flowsa continues to settle into their groove I think they’ll be well poised to nab second place in the division, and possibly first.
Division: Goldies
Week: 3-3
Overall: 5-6
Division: 1-4
On paper the Matt Collins’ are playing… competently. They’re still a high shot generating offense, but dropped this to fifth this week in SF with 40 and a rather low shooting accuracy of 30% created only 12 goals. They’re beating the teams they should, but continue to drop games against tough teams, this week losing to the Rats, Flowsa and Hawks. On the upside the Matt Collins’ maintained position, allowed just 6 goals, and improved drastically in the net, jumping to a 78 save percentage from last weeks bottom of the barrel 60. A top two spot in their division isn’t quite out of reach if they can just win out the tough games.
Division: Howitzers
Week: 2-4
Overall: 5-5
Division: 2-2
If it wasn’t for such an excellent opening week, this team would be about three spots lower. Over six games the Gloves racked up all of 6 goals, the leagues lowest. Now you might say to Dean Puck, “Hey, they played well defensively. Allowed a league low 20 SA!” Yeah, but guess what? When you don’t pay the net any damn mind, coughing up a goal for over 50% of those 20 SA while your offense is busy not doin diddly, it’s not gonna win you games and it’s not gonna keep you at the top of the power ranking. I know the Rusty Gloves love the rust, but even they could use a little greasing.
Division: Goldies
Week: 3-4
Overall: 3-4
Division: 1-2
It’s been a few years since the Hawks disappeared into the night, but they reappeared just in time for BHL V. Scraping together a ragtag group just before the sign-up deadline, the Hawks spent the evening learning how to fly again. Their play fluctuated between solid and very poor, ending the night about middle of the road offensively, converting 17 goals on 34 shots, but they blocked the passing lanes poorly and allowed 53 SA, the second highest in the league. Hawks will need to play more solidly if they hope to maintain their position as the rookie teams start to find their footing.
Division: Howitzers
Week: 2-4
Overall: 4-6
Division: 2-2
Team Pizza just hasn’t be cooked right this year, but they’re still prone to burning some mouths. Pizza maintained their high shooting accuracy, this week at 56%, making them the nights most accurate shooters. However, they regressed in shot production with only 25 SF, ranking them in the bottom three. Team Pizza need to spend more time in the oven developing the defensive side of the game, they allowed 16 GA on 34 SA, which comes out to a very poor save percentage of 56, a a 6% regression from last week. If Pizza can develop their game further, and the Gloves continue to struggle, then Pizza have a real chance to climb the rankings going forward.
Division: Goldies
Week: 2-4
Overall: 3-8
Division: 2-3
The Wallabies had a poor week, but they did make some real improvements offensively. Seems like the Wallabies heeded my words from last week and amped up the aggression. In Week 2 the Wallabies had 44 SF, only out performed by the Sox, Bumpkins and Rats. They saw a 6% increase in shooting accuracy from last week, and scored 12 goals, a large improvement from last weeks 5. The Wallabies however didn’t see much change in their defensive game, allowing 19 GA and 47 SA. We have to wonder if it’s time for that Wallabies goalie to retire as she had her second consecutive sub-70 save percentage night. The Wallabies have made late season comebacks before, but if they don’t show up next week I’d consider them out of top seed contention.
Division: Howitzers
Week: 1-4
Overall: 1-8
Division: 1-3
The Vanilla Beans (Tipsy Turtles) found their first win this week, saving them from the fate of a no win “Ghost Dogs” season. The Beans improved this week offensively, although still remaining near bottom in all stats, they had 6 GF, 21 SF, and a shooting accuracy of 28%. The Beans continued to play a competent defense, ending the night about middle of the road with 15 GA, 42 SA, and a save percentage of 63. If Vanilla can continue to build upon their offensive improvements they’ll be set to snatch a few more victories and perhaps climb the power ranking.
11. Talent Show Dads (-6)
Division: Goldies
Week: 1-6
Overall: 3-7
Division: 1-3
The Talent Show Dads saw a complete regression this week, getting blown out numerous times. They were only slightly better than bottom dwelling BTJs defensively, allowing 30 GA and 52 SA and featured the leagues worst performance in net, a very low save percentage of 42. The Dads were also one of the most unproductive offenses putting only 18 shots on net and scoring 7 goals. A lot of room for improvement here, but at the very least right now they’re in the lead for Rookie of the Year.
Division: Howitzers
Week: 2-6
Overall: 2-6
Division: 1-1
It was a fierce competition for the bottom of the power ranking this week, and the BTJ’s just edged out the spot from the Talent Show Dads. I don’t like to be hard on teams just coming into the league, just the ones that know better. The BTJs will need improvements on all fronts, especially defense where they allowed the most SF (64) and GA (33). You won’t win many games when you’re averaging over 4 GA a game. As I always say, “Score goals, don’t allow ‘em.”
Okay BHLers, that’s it, I’m sorry to say we’re out of time for today. Next tuesday is another week packed to the brim with matches, but things will mellow out come Week 4. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving! This is Dean Puck saying, “I don’t give a fuck.” Peace!
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Dean Puck’s Choice Week 2 Quotes
“While the Brown Sox had a tremendous week, we face a long season chock-full of challenges. The Sox will look to improve on what has been in our minds a lackluster offense, defense, and all around game. The road to the BHL Championship is paved with adversity and the Brown Sox will be working on every aspect of our game, as it has not been up to par yet.”
— Brown Sox the all-around best team saying their all-around game has been lackluster. The nerve of these guys.
“…our team still stinks the most, literally…”
— Sewer Rats commenting on their Week 2 performance.
Would one BHL Championship win be enough credentials for you? Good, because Dean Puck has three during the 1970’s with the famous Huck’n’Pucks.
