well, this is beautiful. i was just going through carina's blog when i found out about this amazing blog. i can't tell you just how thankful i am for this. i can't tell you how much i want to hug and kiss all of you for these special messages you've been sending to her. because some of you might know, and some might not be aware of anything except for her sadness, but i do want to emphasize that these messages you send to her and these images and all of what you've been doing are tiny bits of courage that help her through her days. and maybe they're the words she needs, small words from different people that make her see that she is loved, something that i've been trying to tell her for months now, and that she still can't seem to understand.
honestly though, i do love carina, with all my heart. i do love her in all her beauty, that she can't see, in all her sweetness, tenderness, friendship, amazingness. i love how smart she is, how crazy she is about the things she loves, about how i can have long talks online with her through the night and still not get bored with it. i also love the bravery she doesn't think she has. she's been brave probably her whole life. through the humiliations, the insults, the lack of love, the lack of support, the lack of everything. she's been brave by moving to places she doesn't know, by waking up and accepting that she's alone - there. not here. she's alone there but she has friends all over the world, i've always seen it and i hope she sees it now. we're the ones who should be there with her and support her there, but we can't, because we live here, not there. and it's sad. if you ask my opinion, it makes me furious. because i want to be a friend for her. i want to go there and comfort her sadness and make her smile and get her out of there so she can be happy. and i bet that all of these people who have sent messages for here feel the same. because they can't stand the sadness and depression of someone as beautiful as carina. they can't seem to find fair her situation, when she's the kind of person that you look at her and you just say "this girl deserves everything." she truly does, doesn't she?
i see her talent. i see her inteligence. i see her beauty. i see her temper, i see her kindness, i see the love in her heart. she's a complete, entirely beautiful person. she doesn't deserve this sadness. she doesn't deserve the sad days crying and the utter need to die. i see you, carina, and i love you for who you are, regardless of your flaws, regardless of everything. you've been there for me since the day we've met and i can't even begin to count the hours i spent laughing with you on skype, twitter, tumblr. i love carina, we love carina. such a beautiful message. this is beautiful, yea.
and i want to ask all of you who have been sending these messages, to keep doing it. never stop. make her smile, and if possible, make her cry of happiness. talk with her, about asoiaf, about robb, about shows and about books and about the things that make you and her happy, make endless conversations with her and make her realize that she's interestingly beautiful, an amazing person, really. make her see what i couldn't show her. make her see that despite the flaws, a human being is always beautiful. especially a human being that has been kind, good, absolutely great to everything and everyone for an entire life. do not make her lose hope. do not make her regret life. life is beautiful and it's unfair, it's really really unfair that someone like her can't enjoy the goods in life because some people simply don't want to be good, because some people are bad by nature and want to hurt and hurt again. make her understand that even if we live in portugal, chile, serbia, brasil, whatever. we're there for her. we are her friends, and we won't leave her. do that, for me and for her.
carina, i love you. i'm sorry that i can't bring you to smile more often. i hope you see now slightly better that you are loved. never forget it. i love you. they love you. always.
with love,
sonia.