CIBH Update
Hello friends. I wanted to give an update on CIBH but I didn't want to flood the last chapter with a long note that I'd end up deleting later, so here we are.
Back when I started writing this, I fully plotted out the entire timeline. To the point that I knew what lyrics I would post with each chapter. I like to pants the actual writing and see where my brain takes me, but the major plot points were pre-planned. In that original outline, Hermione and Theo were not supposed to progress this far yet.
She was going to come back to Hogwarts for 8th year thinking "it's over, we can be together now" and then realize that wasn't going to happen. I didn't have the reason fully developed, but for whatever reason Draco wanted her but wasn't willing to go public. She wouldn't get with Theo until about December of 8th year.
I joked that it was all Fleur's fault, but looking back, my timeline started falling apart much sooner: when Hermione started questioning her feelings for Theo over a spring break, when Hermione realized his feelings after the legillimency scene/chat with Ginny, etc. She wasn't going to figure it out until 8th year, but it started to get a bit silly that she was still oblivious after so long.
And then Fleur triggered her jealousy (and Theo noticed). He was so careful and hesitant, but I knew the moment he saw an opening, some small confirmation that she returned his interest, he would step up. And my timeline went into the dumpster.
In the end, I don't regret it for two reasons.
One, even though Theo would have fought for her without any promise of more, I think that only fueled him to push himself harder. (Side note: if I'm ever in a place where I'm not working on 100 things at once, I'd like to write about his time as a Death Eater/7th year and throw it into a companion work or something.)
Two, this gave Hermione the opportunity to choose Theo. In my original plan, I unintentionally made Theo a bit of a second choice. I don't want that for him (which is also why I included that line while Harry is in the pensieve). He deserves to be her first choice.
And that brings us here, with me scrambling to replot 8th year. If you're subscribed, you know I did post an update last week, and hopefully you didn't get the chance to read it. I woke up the next morning and absolutely hated it. Back to the drawing board we go.
The only regret I have is the self-imposed weekly updates. I know what it's like to be following a WIP that is updated infrequently, and I put myself in the reader's shoes instead of the writer's. It's not sustainable.
Aside from that completely disrupting my life, it also led to rushing things as the stress of updating loomed over me each week. If I had written the story before posting, or without a schedule, it would have probably been a much better story. There's no second draft, no chance to reconsider ideas that don't quite work. Just write, edit, post, notice a bunch of typos and errors, fix them, and repeat.
I have absolutely no one to blame but myself for that, but after burning myself out for seven months, I've learned my lesson.
It feels a bit silly to make a post like this when there are plenty of WIPs that have sat for much longer than mine, but some of you have been with me from the very beginning and I wanted to provide you with some sort of explanation and reassurance. I appreciate you for taking the time to read, kudos and comment. Especially the comments. I print my favorites and put them on a cork board above my desk. They mean so much to me. You deserve a forehead kiss from Theo.
TLDR: I lost my road map, the path is blocked, and I need to find a new route. I promise this story will be finished, but I refuse to ruin it just to get to my destination.