To: Ellie
From: Chrystal Heights Division of Tourism
RE: Reservation confirmation
Hello Ellie,
Greetings from sunny Chrystal Heights! Your tickets and passes are confirmed and your vacation package is being prepared even now. We know you are looking forward to enjoying our beautiful coastal beaches and we hope to do everything in our power to make your visit a pleasant one. Should you decide to take in the sights and sounds of downtown Chrystal Heights, brochures and coupons for free drinks to local spots such as The Zone and Club Catnip are included in the package. We are anxious to see you experience everything Chrystal Heights has to offer.
See you soon!
Thank you!
See? Chrystal Heights is an excellent vacation destination. Nothing to worry about! All those stories about people returning home in various embarrassing conditions are just urban legends. Completely exaggerated, I assure you! So feel free to check out our fresh and exciting city. You'll never be the same afterward.
*media picture of tourist telling a friend to keep their holiday activities a secret. Yep. Not at all a girl wondering why she woke up with swelled, sensitive lips. Nope. Nosiree.
*media picture- Chrystal Heights is great for unplanned family planning. Ha ha! Just kidding! Experiences of Alpha-induced hyper-pregnancies are completely exaggerated.
*All-inclusive vacation packages include free aerobics classes.
*summer vacation packages include coupons for discounts on Halloween costumes, in case a costume chosen in the summer no longer fits as well in October for any reason.
*Chrystal Heights has any number of hotspots for tourists to visit. As Peter here....er, Phoebe here can attest, so many strange and unexpected things can happen in a fascinating city such as Chrystal Heights! The waiver you're asked to sign beforehand is simply a formality.
*Our spas and salons offer exceptional and often unexpected results.
*As grad student Jenna here can attest, stories of bimbofications in Chrystal Heights are simply urban legends. Feel free to wander our streets and enjoying the sights. Wandering street hypnotists are there for your entertainment. Nothing to worry about!
*This announcement sponsored by the Chrystal Heights Division of Tourism.
