you are ashes.

tragedy disguises itself as the wings on your back and the flowers by your feet are memorials of dreams lost. indie au pairo. under construction. best friend.

[hellchains-blog]

live our dream for the both of us.

his whole body moved with his breathing, heavy and superficial, air being blown out even more out of lungs upon hearing those words. 

legs came to a stop, stinging pain spreading through limbs, becoming more obvious now that he had put them to rest. they weakened once glancing at the crowd as it kept moving, the uncertainty of how much more would they have to run cut his breath and squeezed his heart. he couldn’t go on without him, he couldn’t leave him behind.

he wanted to say they only had a few miles left, nothing they wouldn’t be able to cover together, but the attempt of lies was easily discarded, buried beneath a layer of hope. we can do it.

body bent over slightly, enough for finger tips to brush over pairo’s shoulder. “ come on. ” they gripped at his shirt. “ get up. this is just the first phase. even that guy with the suitcase found some strength within him and kept going. ” 

this is my fault. i am the cause of the weak state of his legs.

he bit the inner flesh of his cheeks, brows furrowing and brown eyes avoided pairo’s for a moment. if he hadn’t been so careless before … if he had watched out for that cliff. he inhaled deeply, “ we found this place together to become hunters, and we’ll both walk out of here with our hunter licenses so get up!! what are you going to tell sheila if she finds out you gave up?! ”

[debrised]

hellchains said: tfw no clan pairo…..

[debrised]

[narukamie-blog]

INDEPENDENT KILLUA ZOLDYCK | HUNTER X HUNTER            He’s worthy of a friend —– and so much more.

[hellchains-blog]

Was it fun?

was it?

and for a brief weeks, it was. the wonders of the outside world seemed limitless ! and kindness was bigger than malice in the people he’d meet. he couldn’t wait to tell them about all the nice people that’d lend a hand to help him out, answer his questions or give him suggestions to a variety of doctors  .   .  .  

.  .  .  ?

suddenly, he felt many things; one of them being incredibly ignorant.

those words echo through the fire that spread inside his mind, thorough his body, injecting poison into a pounding, aching heart. it was as loud as drums, as lighting bolts and thunder all together. the mere sound of a raging heart beating mercilessly against the bones it was caged in muffled the sounds around him, the flames that burned within irises erasing the world around him. only one thing existed; the storm of feelings that would leave behind a ravaged soul, and the news article before him.

the pureblood members of the kurta clan. eyes gouged out. sit facing each other. beheaded.

                                                mom — dad.

black market. high price. brilliant shade of red. merciless wounds on the children. parents.

                                               pairo .   .  . !!

it was too much for him to process. the only answer he could manage was to tremble and fall to his knees as legs became unable to hold his weight up. wide eyes pierced onto the ground beneath him between the fingers of a shaky head that pressed against his face. tears burned against pale skin, mouth agape as he struggled for air, the brightest of scarlet burning furiously in a tiny, scared pair of eyes. fingers clutched at the dirt - as well as his face - thoughts crashing wildly against each other inside his skull. it’s going to break. there was nothing such as calming himself down, or getting back to his senses to acknowledge the reality that surrounded him. i am going to break. yet that was the last thing he wanted to do. this cruel reality was too much for him, he couldn’t possibly even believe he was able to gain the slightest bits of control right now. i am breaking. why me – why me. WHY ME. WHY HIM. OF ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY EIGHT PEOPLE. WHY DIDN’T I—–.

as soon as air ( uneven, ragged, quickly, he’s going to pass out ) returns to his lungs, the blackness that covered his sight slowly fades away. a red liquid spreading out on the ground, surrounding his fist, is the first thing his gaze meets with, along with the countless drops that soaked the floor.

RUN. RUN. RUN. RUN.

it hurts. it hurts. it’s not real. this is not real. it can’t be real. i’m looking for a doctor for pairo. i’ll come back and the doctor will heal his legs and eyes. we’ll go to the outside world together then and we’ll become hunters. together. we’ll be together.

it hurt —– it hurt —– it only felt pain —– it was buried in nothing but sorrow forever more — his heart, that is.

it was stitched together with worn out threads with only one purpose.  it grew cold, wrapped around an immense grief. its beats became empty, nothing but wrath filling what once was filled with hope and love. he let his body burn like never before.

their blood, their tears nor gold; none of it would make it better.

years only made a broken, barely pumping organ grow tired of the wrath that’d keep driving him deeper into hell, to where the light didn’t reach anymore.

and he sits alone in the center of a quiet room, eyelids closing of soft red eyes.

i’m sorry, it wasn’t.

[debrised]

[indomabiles-blog]

                     YOUR SHOULDERS ARE TOO HEAVY;                            put some of that weight down and talk to someone.                                           ( you don’t have to do it all alone. )

[debrised]

[hllbound-deactivated20150704]

           what doesn’t kill me might make me kill you.

[killsamaimon-deactivated2015072]

follow me on gon so u witness a clown staring at his ass

[debrised]

HELLCHAINS:

              words, movements, eyes; they were all enveloped by the red, bright fire of his rage. hands were closed into fists, dull nails digging into his palms as every fiber of his being was being hit by waves of anger at everything. that old man, the rules he didn’t take the bother to explain to him, how narrow minded the clan he belonged was, how his desire to want to look at the outside world or even learn about it ( more than just ’ it’s full of prejudice ’ ) was considered wrong in every adult’s eyes. how could they live when there was a world of possibilities and new things to learn about right out of the forest they confined themselves in out of fear.

            “ that stupid geezer just won’t let me to take the test !! no matter what i say he says no to everything !!  ”

           safety within walls upon walls of timber and wood and fear ---- he wonders, too, what lies beyond their barrier of protection against the ghosts of their unease, questions authority with a curiosity expected of a child whose world fits in the palm of their hand in a body that has not stopped growing, a body that continues to yearn for more than what is given. but he is a spectator rather than a warrior in the battle of jurisdiction and dreams; he is not like kurapika, lit with passion and incandescent wanting, doesn’t oppose to habits and embraces routine.

            ( pairo envies him for that. )

                  ❛ you know he’s just worried, don’t you? ❜ 

          he spares his friend no glances as he speaks quietly, the taste of rationality familiar to his lips.

                  ❛ ...father told me that a long time ago someone from our village went to the outside, but when they returned, they wouldn’t speak to anyone about what happened. he suspects the people did bad things to them. ❜

[iiair-deactivated20151110]

If I’m with Pairo, then no matter the outcome, I won’t regret it.

[debrised]

PAINXPACKER.

         ❛ the concepts of good and evil...are they truly existent? ❜

[debrised]

49, 40 n 25 : )

CHARACTER SOLIDIFYING.

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

the days after kurapika left the village were spent reading and practicing, learning as much as he could, and, of course, this included the common hunter language not spoken within the kurta clan. because of this, it’s rather difficult to realize that isn’t his first language. the most obvious sign is the way he phrases things, which may come off as unusual at times, perhaps too formal or even outdated for someone so young ( this is because most of the foreign books found within the lukso province were brought a long time ago ). 

he tends to speak rather softly and slowly with constant pauses as if he’s in deep thought, but his regular voice is clear and smooth, easily understandable. when experiencing extreme emotions, however, his accent is prone to showing and his pitch highers, giving way to a faster speech. 

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

he most definitely has a sense of humor! however, it’s a very subtle kind, and sometimes his jokes may go by unnoticed since he’s not one to express amusement too openly aside from small smiles and the occasional chuckle. he’s unexpectedly witty despite his gentle demeanor.

and, honestly, pairo’s the type of guy who will immediately help you up when you fall, both literally and figuratively speaking, but will undoubtedly tease you for it later. he’ll never forget the embarrassing things you did either and they’ll forever remain as a source of his amusement.

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

reading had been a topic of interest as a child and it carries on into adulthood, where it stays as one of his favorite hobbies nowadays. self-indulgence is a term he’s unfamiliar with, really, so he doesn’t usually explore anything besides books. i think he’d be very interested in music and sculpting, though.

[painted-bees]

Character solidifying!

[debrised]

Specify a character and leave a number in my ask, if you’re feeling so kind!

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

3. Brothers, sisters? Who do they like? Why? What do they despise about their siblings?

4. What type of discipline was your character subjected to at home? Strict? Lenient?

5. Were they overprotected as a child? Sheltered?

6. Did they feel rejection or affection as a child?

7. What was the economic status of their family?

8. How does your character feel about religion?

9. What about political beliefs?

10. Is your character street-smart, book-smart, intelligent, intellectual, slow-witted?

11. How do they see themselves: as smart, as intelligent, uneducated?

12. How does their education and intelligence – or lack thereof - reflect in their speech pattern, vocabulary, and pronunciations?

13. Did they like school? Teachers? Schoolmates?

14. Were they involved at school? Sports? Clubs? Debate? Were they unconnected?

15. Did they graduate? High-School? College? Do they have a PHD? A GED?

16. What does your character do for a living? How do they see their profession? What do they like about it? Dislike?

17. Did they travel? Where? Why? When?

18. What did they find abroad, and what did they remember?

19. What were your character’s deepest disillusions? In life? What are they now?

20. What were the most deeply impressive political or social, national or international, events that they experienced?

21. What are your character’s manners like? What is their type of hero? Whom do they hate?

22. Who are their friends? Lovers? ‘Type’ or ‘ideal’ partner?

23. What do they want from a partner? What do they think and feel of sex?

24. What social groups and activities does your character attend? What role do they like to play? What role do they actually play, usually?

25. What are their hobbies and interests?

26. What does your character’s home look like? Personal taste? Clothing? Hair? Appearance?

27. How do they relate to their appearance? How do they wear their clothing? Style? Quality?

28. Who is your character’s mate? How do they relate to him or her? How did they make their choice?

29. What is your character’s weaknesses? Hubris? Pride? Controlling?

30. Are they holding on to something in the past? Can he or she forgive?

31. Does your character have children? How do they feel about their parental role? About the children? How do the children relate?

32. How does your character react to stress situations? Defensively? Aggressively? Evasively?

33. Do they drink? Take drugs? What about their health? 

34. Does your character feel self-righteous? Revengeful? Contemptuous?

35. Do they always rationalize errors? How do they accept disasters and failures?

36. Do they like to suffer? Like to see other people suffering?

37. How is your character’s imagination? Daydreaming a lot? Worried most of the time? Living in memories?

38. Are they basically negative when facing new things? Suspicious? Hostile? Scared? Enthusiastic?

39. What do they like to ridicule? What do they find stupid?

40. How is their sense of humor? Do they have one?

41. Is your character aware of who they are? Strengths? Weaknesses? Idiosyncrasies? Capable of self-irony?

42. What does your character want most? What do they need really badly, compulsively? What are they willing to do, to sacrifice, to obtain?

43. Does your character have any secrets? If so, are they holding them back?

44. How badly do they want to obtain their life objectives? How do they pursue them?

45. Is your character pragmatic? Think first? Responsible? All action? A visionary? Passionate? Quixotic?

46. Is your character tall? Short? What about size? Weight? Posture? How do they feel about their physical body?

47. Do they want to project an image of a younger, older, more important person? Does they want to be visible or invisible?

48. How are your character’s gestures? Vigorous? Weak? Controlled? Compulsive? Energetic? Sluggish?

49. What about voice? Pitch? Strength? Tempo and rhythm of speech? Pronunciation? Accent?

50. What are the prevailing facial expressions? Sour? Cheerful? Dominating?

[debrised]

LADYANDTHEDEMON.

        strained eyes let lids flutter closed, scenery before him nothing but abstract canvases. the loss of definite vision only prompts carelessness, and  it’s not long before his hand loses grip on his walking support.

              ❛  i’m sorry, have you seen a cane laying around?  ❜

[debrised]

GHOSTLYWRITERNEON.

              ❛ excuse me, do you need any help? ❜ 

          cautious movements are rendered useless under the numerous bags she carries, and he approaches her with quiet hesitance, careful not to raise alarm ( he fears a single wrong step would be the cause of their fall ).