d e v o n
Keni
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
we're not kids anymore.
#extradirty
shark vs the universe
bliss lane
Xuebing Du
oozey mess
KIROKAZE
Stranger Things
The Stonewall Inn
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Claire Keane
noise dept.
NASA
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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EXPECTATIONS
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
seen from United States
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@decoronation
a private, mutuals only, and duffer-critical modern interpretation of 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐓𝐎𝐍 from netflix's stranger things. some canon divergence may be found here, as of seasons 4 and 5. themes such as c-ptsd, parental neglect, traumatic brain injuries, and being a final boy will be present. please read rules before interacting. protected by fawn ( 30s, she/they, mexicana )
𝐂𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐃 ♔ 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆 ♔ 𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 ♔ 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐘 ♔ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒
˖ ‧ ᯓ ☦︎ ▒ . ❘❘❘ ──── as / @decoronation chats , ilya runs his finger along the curl by his ear , a nasty habit as much as a soothing technique .
he had never really had to worry about grades before . as long as they were high enough so he could keep playing hockey and his dad didn't get on his ass , ilya had planned to cruise through high school until he eventually got recruited for the major league . now that he was in hawkins , his future plans depended a little more on his grades than he was used to . if he got below a certain gpa , he wouldn’t be able to stay in silver falls . which meant no hockey . which meant no more shane . he realizes , without even grasping that he had many decisions involving his future , that any time he pictured himself in five or ten years , it was here . and with shane . ilya bites back a grin , trying not to let the burst of excitement at the mere thought of shane show on his face . now that him staying hung on the fringes of his grades , shane had cracked down on ilya to make sure he was prepared for every book report or test or exam that came his way . he was so selfless and good sometimes he didn’t know how he got so lucky . ──── ❛ i have tutor . he is very smart . straight a’s from what he tells me . ❜
ilya stands from his bent position before turning and hoisting himself to sit on the counter . leaning back on his hands , he watches steve faff about with the dvd’s , listening to him talk about the travesty that happened the summer before he had arrived . ──── ❛ yes i have heard of this . are you … okay ? ❜ ilya kicks his feet , hoping not to make the moment with his friend awkward . ilya was lucky to have made a friend outside of the idiots he had to humor on the bears to stay in good graces , let alone someone older who had actually experienced shit . ──── ❛ movies are good for dates , yes ? you have dated ... people . what is good movie to watch with someone ? but maybe not watch ... you know what i am saying ? ❜
❛ oh. well that's good. don't wanna get kicked from the team, you know? ❜ crazy to think that at one point, sports were the focal point of steve's life. far before he'd ever had an inkling of what lurked in the shadows of the mundane, steve assumed the most difficult part of his life was going to be getting into some sort of university solely based on the merits of his athletic prowess since his academic skills had never been the best. then came relationship drama, and family problems, and further down the line: trying not to get eaten or killed by horrific creatures of the night. ending up working at an ice cream parlor once upon a time and being cut off from his parents' wealth indefinitely had been the least of steve's worries in the grand scheme of things.
are you okay? it's been a long, long time since anyone's asked steve this. so much so that he pauses in the middle of his task and stares blankly at the small stack of dvds in his hands. ❛ yeah, of course, ❜ he says a little unconvincingly, smile not quite reaching his eyes when he half-turns to look at ilya. ❛ i'm still here. not everyone was that lucky. ❜ there is a certain sadness in his gaze before he gets back to returning the dvd cases to their designated spots. survivor's guilt to an extent, other inexplicable feelings surfacing alongside it. though steve has had time to sit with these experiences, that doesn't mean he's been able to process them fully yet. some days he pretends the things he's seen and felt happened to someone else entirely and he watched from the sidelines, unaffected. the change in subject is welcome.
❛ watch but not watch? ❜ yeah. he definitely knows what ilya is saying. ❛ something scary for sure. it'll make them wanna hide their face and get you to hold them. ❜ steve grabs a copy of the descent from the horror section and hands it over. ❛ trust me. ❜
nothing about steve's demeanour indicated that he was excited to go help out his ex-girlfriend, or rather, her lazy dad. so, why the hell did he feel like shit over it? they had shared a couple of kisses, slept together all of one time, and suddenly he felt this overwhelming, burning desire to keep steve all to himself. it didn't make any sense.
dae-hyun chews idly on a sour strap as he watches steve. beyond his racing thoughts, he can see that he looks tired. he had chalked it up to their late night, but it was as if something had zapped all remaining energy out of him. he leans against the counter, taking pity by reaching over to place a sour strap on steve's knee. maybe a sugar rush would help, temporarily.
“ ... i'll invite you to my place another night then, ” he trails off, his eyes flickering to the backroom, where they had ceased their make out session moments ago, and then to the television where the room had been carrying on in the background. “ are you... ” okay goes unsaid, as steve laughs suddenly, seemingly at the movie. it draws dae-hyun's swift attention, the man's smile apparently combating against his undeniable exhaustion.
“ it's only stupid if you don't appreciate art, ” he jokes, absolutely unwilling to divulge that he had spent at least one night scrolling through reddit threads and reading up on the behind the scenes of the film out of morbid curiosity. dae-hyun glances at steve with a smirk, “ aw, is this baby's first cult classic? ” the tease comes easily, followed by another sour strap, readily caught between his teeth. “ don't be such a hater. ”
❛ if i'm a hater, i learned it from you, ❜ steve says with a small scoff. he still looks tired, but he can never help the way just looking at dae-hyun makes him feel a little better about everything, even the prospect of interdimensional nonsense rearing its ugly head again.
it's been this way since they'd properly met, dae-hyun's stoicism something steve had seen as a challenge rather than a deterrent. getting to know dae-hyun a little more has only made it clear to steve that his instinct about him had been right—that jaded outer layer was simply armor, in much the same way steve's own extroversion is protection to an extent. picking the candy off of his jeans where dae-hyun had placed it on his knee as an offering, steve bites off the end of it.
❛ are you taking back that invitation, then? ❜ puppy dog eyes are on full display, pleading in soft azure. ❛ i don't think it'll take me long. i'll just have to go home and shower after so i don't get dust all over the place. ❜
the thought of ending the night by laying his head in dae-hyun's lap and just breathing is appealing, but he knows how this looks. to have an ex-anything show up out of the blue asking for a favor probably seems sketchy.
theo watches him with a quirk in his brow. yeesh. there really must be something going on then. with theo being a more quieter person he tends to observe a lot. this robin seems to be a little frazzled most days and drinks a lot of coffee. they've only spoken a few times.
"no, she just comes in often and drinks a ton of coffee. have you been friends for long?"
the look on theo's face tells steve everything he needs to know. like the fact that steve needs to work on being a little more subtle when it comes to answering questions regarding his own feelings about things. how much more obvious can he be? the equal emphasis on the word friends has steve's palms sweating. shit.
❛ a while, yeah. wait. what kind of coffee does she order? ❜ steve's inquisitive nature begs for theo to throw him a bone; a small crumb of knowledge he can utilize if robin is ever having a bad day or, god forbid, is angry at him.
mikasa scrunches her nose in clear agreement. ❝ obviously. i'd seriously rather die than let you get my stuff all gross. ❞ with that in mind, she makes a mental note to throw steve's dirty clothes in the washer for him. still holding onto his hand, she turns to gently tug him along with her up the stairs leading to her apartment. thank god sasha decided to go out with friends tonight, she thinks. the timing is perfect considering how much mikasa would rather her and steve have peace and quiet tonight without her nosy roommate. no amount of love in mikasa's heart reserved for sasha could make up for her habit of intruding at the worst times.
❝ i think you still have some clothes in one of my drawers. i'll check. ❞ she idly mentions as they step through the front door and she kicks off her boots, giving steve one more appraising glance with mild concern. ❝ are you absolutely sure you aren't hurt anywhere? don't lie. i can help patch you up if you need it. ❞
steve follows her up the stairs as if he's being led to the gates of heaven itself, and after the long night he's had, it may as well be. the prospect of having a hot shower followed by some semi-decent sleep in a space steve considers safe is the best thing he can think of right now. his shoes are removed before he ever enters the apartment, left outside to avoid tracking in any dirt. or blood. the quiet he's hit with as they walk inside signals to him that he and mikasa will be alone for the majority of the night. is he selfish for being relieved?
of course he has a set of clothing here. steve won't admit it aloud, but he likes leaving little reminders of himself in places he deems a second home, something for those he keeps close to his heart to think of him as well. call it a habit built out of a need to simply be considered, as sad as it sounds. ❛ well... some ice might help if you have any. my ribs are a little sore. ❜ an understatement, but mikasa will see that soon enough, angry bruises lying in wait to be uncovered.
the hopeful glimmer in steve's eyes sits heavy in his gut, and carries with him as he follows him out of the back room. he shouldn't have said anything; leading steve on hadn't been his initial intention... but he was good at being selfish. he liked the attention, he liked the feeling of being wanted. he could justify that there was more to it all he wanted, but if he wasn't so selfish, he would have prioritised steve's feelings first. he would have been upfront with him from the get-go.
of all the people waiting out front, of course it's nancy wheeler. her look of confusion is mirrored by dae-hyun, who's gaze follows hers to steve's messy hair and then back. whoops. he can almost see the cogs turning, trying to piece it all together. a quiet smirk settles on his lips and he decidedly wanders the shop as they talk, giving them a moment of privacy.
despite busying himself with tidying up the pile of dvd returns, he finds himself glancing over at the pair. he hadn't been made entirely privy to steve and nancy's backstory, but he knew enough; in bits and pieces, through stilted conversation or blurted fragments from robin. it was much more noticeable when he observed them, or specifically, the way nancy looks at steve. there was something there, some old forgotten feelings and residual attraction. maybe both. he can't say he blames her, but it's annoying all the same. as his eyes flicker to steve, he wonders if he feels the same. at the very least, a remaining fondness for a first love. he is quick to agree to help her out, and dae-hyun notices the way he seems to relax as she leaves.
he sighs as he looks down at the last dvd in his hands. he's just not that into you stares him in the face, like an overtly cliched and terrible hint. he shoves the dvd onto the shelf a little harder than intended. whatever. it was a shit movie anyway.
dae-hyun moves over to stand in front of the counter, observing steve in his usual spot on the chair behind it. he makes a poor attempt at tidying the candy bar selection, which inevitably results in him choosing a sour strap packet for himself. as he tears open the packet, he glances at steve again with a guarded curiousity. if his ex had asked him for a favour, he'd sooner tell them to get fucked. “ what was that all about? ”
the sound of a candy packet being torn open is what prompts steve to uncover his face and look up at dae-hyun, pulse still thrumming faster than normal. there's always an element of fear that camps out in the corner of steve's mind whenever he thinks about the past, and nancy showing up like she had definitely made steve think something was out to get them again. even now that he knows nothing of the sort is going on, his heart rate has yet to get the memo and return to its typical pace.
❛ she just needs help moving some stuff out of the garage for her mom. i said i'd go after my shift. her dad's kind of... well, not kind of. he is a lazy shit. ❜ from everything nancy had ever told him about her father back when they'd been closer, steve gathers he's barely a step below his own dad. who knows, maybe all dads suck and everyone who has one is doomed from the start.
he doesn't notice the way dae-hyun is looking at him with those cautious eyes, dissecting every comment he makes. the only thing steve can think about now is their shift ending so he can cross helping nancy off his list and then go home after to take the world's hottest shower. he looks tired, if not a bit distracted. nothing dae-hyun should take into consideration anyway, if he's looking for any sign that steve was elated over the unexpected visit of his ex-girlfriend at his workplace.
it takes a couple of minutes to mentally ground himself before steve notices that the room is continuing to play on the store's television. he can't help it. he laughs—both at the absurdity of the film in question and the fact that his heated make out session with dae-hyun had been interrupted by someone he used to make out with. steve isn't religious by any means, but if he were, he'd be starting to wonder right about now if god hated him. ❛ how the hell does this stupid movie even exist? ❜
𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑
☓ STEVE IS GAY : he's a bisexual king!
☓ STEVE READS AO3 : he has no idea what that even is.
♔ STEVE HATES BEING ALONE : it's the thing he fears most in the world.
♔ STEVE LISTENS TO 80s MUSIC : it's not his absolute favorite, but a small amount of it is definitely in his rotation.
☓ STEVE CANNOT DRIVE : he's the one you should be calling if you need a getaway driver.
☓ STEVE HAS AN INCREDIBLE SHORT-TERM MEMORY BUT AN AWFUL LONG-TERM MEMORY : the opposite is true, due to his CTE. eventually, it will also impact his long-term memory as he ages.
♔ STEVE SINGS IN THE SHOWER : if he's home alone or staying with someone he's comfortable with, yes.
☓ STEVE BITES THEIR NAILS : no, and he thinks it's gross.
☓ STEVE HAS A STUFFED ANIMAL UNDER THEIR BED : no, but someone should give him one so that he can put it on his bed.
☓ STEVE FORGETS TO EAT SOMETIMES : it'll be a cold day in hell before that happens.
☓ STEVE IS AN INTROVERT : nope! being around other people recharges him.
♔ STEVE WOULD SUCCUMB TO THE FOG : only if it meant he was saving someone else.
♔ STEVE'S FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL WAS GYM : i feel like this one's a given.
♔ STEVE TELLS DAD JOKES : he has everyone in the party rolling their eyes, especially mike.
♔ STEVE CRIES WHILE WATCHING DISNEY MOVIES : enough said.
tagged by : @daekaebi
Charlie Gillespie - Charmed (2018), The Rest of Us (2019), Julie and the Phantoms (2020)
it'd be an honor to be killed and eaten by you. there's a knot in his stomach at steve's response, at the way his gaze seems to soften whenever he looks at him. even now, after violently ripping him from an otherwise peaceful slumber and panicking in his arms, he was gentle and understanding. dae-hyun's chest tightens as steve kisses his forehead again, as his fingers comb through his hair. it felt undeserved.
he lies awake for a few hours after steve falls asleep, unable to switch off his brain after what he had seen, what he had dreamt. he remains glued to steve for the rest of the night, comforted by his heartbeat, by the sound of his breathing and chihiro's rumbling purr against his back. by the time the sun had begun to poke through the curtains, sleep had taken over, even with the residual worry for what the day might bring.
the sound of chihiro's biscuit breakfast hitting the tin bowl caused him to stir, eyes slowly opening to find an empty spot where steve had been hours prior. he jumps out of bed abruptly, rushing out of steve's room only to find him waiting, at the bottom of the stairs. jesus fucking christ. “ i thought you'd left without me, ” he exhales, an almost sulk creeping into his expression. however, he notes the weariness that seemed to cling to steve as it usually did him. his shoulders slump, guilt weaving into the set of his mouth. “ i'll be... five minutes, ” he backs towards the bathroom and showers quickly, brushing his teeth and slipping into his clothes from the day before. once he's pulled his hair back and gathered his things, pocketing his phone, he makes his way downstairs to meet steve.
he reaches a hand out to brush against steve's arm. “ i'm sorry about last night, ” steve's late-night reminder about apologies crosses his mind briefly, but he ignores it. he needs to say it. “ did you get much sleep... after? ”
❛ i wouldn't do that, ❜ steve shakes his head, knowing now that he can never try to pull off another stunt like he tried yesterday; to attempt to leave dae-hyun in the dark when it comes to the upside down and all that comes with it. from now on, unless plans shift dramatically and they need to part for whatever reason, steve is going to be glued to his side in order to ensure they both remain safe. ❛ i'll be here. ❜
he waits in the living room for dae-hyun to get ready, listening to the sound of his footsteps on the floor above and the rushing of water in the pipes, comforted once more by the house not being devoid of anyone but himself. chihiro sunbathes after her breakfast, lying in a patch of sun by the foyer with all four paws sticking up in the air as she slumbers.
❛ it wasn't your fault, ❜ steve says softly when dae-hyun joins him at last and begins to apologize for the night prior. the nightmares that had jolted dae-hyun awake had clearly been terrifying and heavy for him to have reacted the way he did long after waking. steve can't fault him for being frightened, even into the morning hours. ❛ i got enough rest. don't worry about me. ❜
an affectionate kiss is pressed to dae-hyun's forehead right before they head out to the car, steve leaving the business of the radio to him again on the ride across town. there are too many thoughts in his head right now, most of which haven't dissipated by the time they park a street over from the creel house and finish the rest of the journey on foot to evade any more suspicion than necessary. it's still early enough to where most people haven't left home yet for work, curtains drawn and driveways devoid of idling cars. steve sees henderson in the distance when he rounds the corner and takes a deep breath with the knowledge that this is only the scouting phase of their tentative plans, so much more still to come.
the sounds he manages to elicit from steve just from pulling his hair feels like something out of a dream; his name has never sounded so good. “ hm? yeah, ” dae-hyun grins against steve's lips at his question, a pleased sigh following at the pressure of steve's body against his; all the muscle, hard lines and soft skin that he had familiarised himself with last night. the touch of teeth against his neck, the sharp sting of being bitten, has him moaning softly into the small space of the back room, his eyes darting down as steve follows his demand without delay. he shifts, feet touching the ground and his own hands reaching between them then, abandoning their prior exploration to quicken the process.
the apology that comes out next is unexpected, and jarring, given the heat of the moment. dae-hyun quickly glances up at steve, his fingers stilling on his zipper. truthfully, he had forgotten all about the wake-up call, breakfast aside. the how do you really feel about me? and an assertive promise to revisit it later now very well right in front of him. despite steve bringing it up earlier, however, he seems quick to backtrack.
“ steve... ” there's a beat, as he tries to figure out what to say next. again, he knows he likes steve, they wouldn't be here if he didn't. but, he couldn't afford to like him anymore than temporarily. he wouldn't be here forever. eventually, he would have to return home and leave steve behind. there was also the fact that baring himself fully to another person and letting them in was mortifying. maybe he was just a coward. all he knows is, if it had been anyone else, he would've laid out his terms and been done with it. but steve, with his wide, blue eyes, looks at him like a wounded animal, and thus, the further away those routine words become.
“ it's not stupid, it's... you're- ” the front door chimes as a customer enters, the sound is faint with the back door closed but it gives him a reason to tear his gaze away with a startled flinch. it should fill him with relief, but instead he feels nothing but guilt. dae-hyun glances back at steve, who had given him an out... but he still feels like he owes him something more than breadcrumbs. he leans in for a quick kiss, his fingers gently brushing along his jaw, his lips lingering a selfish few seconds longer. “ ask me again later. yeah? ” his hand drops to do up steve's pants, clasping the buckle of his belt and straightening his vest. “ c'mon. ”
the pause after his name has steve mentally retreating again, and he tries not to let his disappointment show. he supposes it was good while it lasted, or will continue to be if he can keep his damn mouth shut long enough to just enjoy whatever this is. his thoughts race, and he scrambles for some lighthearted comment to cut the tension he's now created until dae-hyun speaks again. steve blinks, teeth gently biting down onto his own bottom lip to render himself silent. it's not stupid. he feels like a weight has been lifted from his heart when dae-hyun says it, hopeful spark returning tenfold.
the bell chimes, and steve's eyes widen. he wonders if it's keith popping in from the arcade just next door, ready to berate him for setting up the sign wrong or simply to surprise them and look for new reasons to write him up. steve doesn't know why he even bothers trying anymore when all it takes is robin yapping keith's ear off in order to absolve steve of his wrongdoings for the day.
dae-hyun kisses him again, and steve's mind is such a mess that he simply nods in agreement at the suggestion to discuss things later as dae-hyun fixes his clothes. this confusion only intensifies when he hears a familiar voice call out his name from the front—a voice he hasn't heard all summer, because he's had no reason to. steve reaches to comb his fingers through dae-hyun's hair, pushing the door open as soon as it's all smoothed down again.
nancy stands at the counter, doe-eyed and alert. what confuses steve the most is that she has nothing in her hands: no returns, no new rentals, no purse. in fact, the only thing she carries is a perplexed expression as she looks between dae-hyun and steve's messy hair, which steve is wholly unaware of. his heart begins to race at the possibility that she's here to announce some new threat to hawkins which requires his assistance. he exhales in relief when she ends up asking for his help with moving some things out of the garage later for mrs. wheeler instead, steve quietly acquiescing because he knows damn well mr. wheeler isn't going to do it and jonathan is clear across the country.
❛ i'll be done around four. i'll call before i leave. ❜ the tension begins to leave his body as he watches nancy walk out after she thanks him, steve sitting down on the chair behind the counter again and rubbing his face with a hand. when will he ever stop being scared that things are going to get bad again?
steve's response is reward enough, if he's being honest. the room was a terrible movie, everyone knew that, but that's what gave it it's charm. dae-hyun's teeth dig into his bottom lip to stifle a laugh, relenting only when his reward comes over to bestow a kiss. it's dangerous, with all the wide, uncurtained windows exposing them at the front of the store like this, but there's a thrill to be found in that too. it curls it's way up his spine, and has his fingers sliding up to grab onto the front of steve's vest. however, the phone ringing seems to startle the both of them from the moment before it's truly begun.
steve acts quicker in answering it. meanwhile, dae-hyun watches and runs his fingers over his mouth as if to savour the taste. when he notices steve's expression, he opens his mouth to ask, but he already knows. keith would be the only one to call this early, unless robin or the other late-nighter was calling in sick. watching steve essentially wrestle irritably with the sign through the door and out the front of the store is amusing at least. he's not sure he's ever seen such a foul look on his face. and he'd be lying if he said it didn't fill him with a sense of selfish pride.
“ you good- ” he's cut off as steve picks him up suddenly, words intercepted with a surprised gasp. he wraps around him as he's carried into the back room, and makes the obvious and wise decision to nudge the door shut behind them with the tip of his converse. his back hits the door next, fingers dragging up steve's scalp, clawing gently to grab a handful of chestnut brown hair. the pull back is harsh, but any pain is hopefully soothed once he presses their lips together, resuming their disturbed kiss from earlier. it was addictive. ever since their shared first kiss all those weeks ago, he spent more time than he would like to admit wondering when the next one would be.
dae-hyun nips at steve's bottom lip, his hair somewhat shaggy now that he's run his fingers through it. “ you're hot when you're annoyed, ” he teases, mildly breathless. not that his opinion on steve's attractiveness had ever wavered regardless of the man's mood. it was just different to what he was used to. he leans in for another kiss, and the name badge on his work vest clips against his watch as he slips his fingers under the collar of steve's shirt. the hand that had dragged through steve's hair drops down between them, catching onto the waistband of his pants. “ get these off. ”
the sudden, delicious sting of having his hair pulled coaxes a quiet moan from steve, the sound of it partially muffled by dae-hyun's mouth. if the small noise isn't enough proof he's enjoying himself, the way he groans out a helpless "fuck, dae..." surely is. it's been so long since anyone's been rough with him that steve had all but forgotten how good it feels, how much he prefers it under these circumstances.
he tries not to recall the night prior, but steve's mind wanders right as dae-hyun's hands do, conjuring fresh memories of soft gasps and expressions of bliss. stupid is how he feels for thinking he could go back to just being friends with dae-hyun ... of being mere coworkers and nothing more. as if he would have been able to interact with him on a constant basis and not feel anything at all.
❛ is that what you're into? ❜ steve's laugh is something of a low rumble, voice already sounding wrecked despite all of their clothes still being on. cloud nine is his current home, floating away on his own little piece of heaven. his gaze doesn't leave dae-hyun's lips at first, pressing him harder against the closed door, ❛ it just takes me being pissed off to get you going? ❜ he breaks the next kiss to take gentle bites at dae-hyun's neck, absolutely no thought behind how he complies with the request and begins to undo his belt.
❛ i'm sorry about this morning. what i asked. it was stupid, ❜ and it isn't stupid, at least not to steve, but he can't take his heart being torn in two again by someone he has feelings for. if this is all dae-hyun wants, then he'll enjoy the closeness for as long as it will last this time. he hopes it never ends. ❛ i mean, it wasn't stupid, but i still shouldn't have asked. you don't owe me anything. ❜
he likely owed family video more than he earned for the amount of snacks he had put away over his shifts. he was sure keith suspected it was him, if the cctv footage hadn't been blatant evidence of his crimes, but it was easy to pass the blame. steve had not been free of said blaming at some point in time.
he wrinkles his nose at steve's comment as he passes him by, putting his lunch in the fridge. steve has already assumed the position by the time dae-hyun's done a casual stroll through the aisles, everything appearing as usual. any overthinking was decidedly placed on the backburner for now, left outside with steve's bmw.
“ everything? ” he echoes, his lips pushing out in thought. then, he gestures with his thumb over his shoulder at the adult section out the back. “ ah? even the sexy ones? ” he would likely lose his job if he chose something from that selection to play in family video. while it wouldn't be such a hit to his bank account, finding a job in a small town like this had been no easy feat to begin with.
dae-hyun lets the matter drop with a smile and turns, wandering back down the aisle he had finished his entirely unserious perimeter check in moments ago. “ if i find something you haven't seen do i get a reward? ” he calls out, humming idly to himself as he glances at an array of children's movies. he could try and find something so unassuming, or something wildly popular and entirely out of steve's genre-realm. he's wandered up and down three aisles before he finally makes a decision.
“ here, i got something, ” the dvd is plucked from the shelf and he brings it over to reveal the cover. the title reads, the room. “ oh, hi doggy, ” he quotes, wiggling the cover in front of steve's sleepy face. a grin twitches at the corners of his lips and he moves over to the television to play the movie. once it starts up, he turns, hands on his hips. without allowing steve a second to prove him wrong, he's decided he's won this small self-made game. “ okay, you can give me my reward now. ”
❛ some of the sexy ones, yeah, ❜ steve admits without a second thought, ❛ but they're not that sexy. they have weird lighting and everyone's wearing spandex since all of it's from the eighties. ❜ he watches dae-hyun walk away, still unconvinced that anything he finds in his short trek will yield results. and then he's proven wrong about two minutes thereafter.
the dvd dae-hyun holds up in front of him gives steve cause to groan and cover his eyes, leaning back in his chair like he's been shot in the chest at close range. of course dae-hyun would choose the one movie he's never been able to get through, no matter how many times robin instructs him to endure it and report back to her. ❛ i've seen the first fifteen minutes, is that not enough for partial credit? i always fall asleep when i try to watch it, ❜ he laments, rolling his eyes at how confident dae-hyun's stance is. ❛ and i never said anything about a reward, but if you insist... ❜
helpless to resist despite the voice in his head telling him he's got another one-way ticket to hurting his own feelings, steve stands up and gently pulls dae-hyun closer by the front of his gaudy family video vest. his kiss is softer than any they've previously shared; slower, too. steve moves in for a second one, fingers tangling in dae-hyun's hair before the sound of the store's phone ringing startles him into stepping back. ❛ ... jesus christ. ❜
it ends up being keith, bitching about how no one's put out the standing sign that showcases this week's new arrivals on it yet. as if anyone is looking to rent movies this early in the morning. irritable, steve hangs up and lugs the sign out through the front door, nearly poking himself in the eye with it as he goes. when he returns, he does so in spite of the previously ruined mood and hauls dae-hyun up into his arms, carrying him into the back like a caveman with an annoyed huff.
finally. robin doesn't hesitate to reciprocate his grip, sitting up as he does. the fear that was so clear on her face is gone now and replaced with a small smile. its soft amongst her tired eyes and the dim light. she hides her face in his shoulder, almost a replica of the few times she's done before but now has a little more meaning to it. the anxiety that always builds up in close proximity with steve is calming down now the air is clear.
her thumb rubs the side of his hand. "can we just stay like this for awhile?"
resting his head atop robin's after she leans in close, steve feels a relief he can't express with words. all he can do is hope that his presence and touch is enough to convey how he's been feeling for months now. even in the midst of their terror and exhaustion, they have this ... each other. and nothing gives steve the strength to go on and fight to see another day more than the love he has for others.
❛ yeah. we can. ❜ kissing the side of robin's face as she remains hidden away, steve smiles. there's still so much turmoil and uncertainty in the air that he almost feels selfish for this small spark of happiness. he clings to it nonetheless.
his response tells her all she needs to know, as does the steady trickle of warmth down the side of her face. but his look somehow seems more real. something more palpable between wide eyes and the offered hand. she takes it, of course she does ! just as she holds on to it even when she's already fully upright and shaking her head like a dog appearing out of the waters of a gentle duck-filled pond. the leaves could be the duckweeds in her fur.
❝ i don't think i did, but it did happen awfully fast. ❞ shakes her head again for good measure, but finds nothing but a stray drop of red against the ground, and the increase of blood rushing down her cheek. ❝ i'll go, but only if the expert goes along with me. ❞
shaking her head is probably not the best thing victoria could be doing right now given that she may have a concussion, but before steve can bestow any sage wisdom upon her about this, she stops. oh, well. maybe the damage isn't too bad. he's glad she seems to be in high spirits despite the unfortunate tumble she's taken.
❛ what were you trying to do, anyway? ❜ steve asks as he leads her to his car, making sure she can stand on her own first. he opens the passenger door for her and then leans over to rummage around in the glovebox for the first aid kit, mumbling some kind of apology at how messy it is before he finally gets his hands on the small box. taking out some alcohol wipes and one of the larger bandages, he gets to work on cleaning the wound first.
sorry only ever seemed to become a part of his vocabulary when fear took over. it was a difficult habit to shake, an attempt at appeasing to avoid punishment. or something stupid like that. it felt like word vomit after a while, repeated empty apologies that would likely irritate more than salve. dae-hyun could not plaster himself any closer to steve if he tried. he's only thankful that shame hasn't crept in just yet to wedge distance between them.
he should be pleased that steve has given in, instead he can only focus on the vacant corner of the room. he couldn't read too much into his dreams, however, now that he's conscious of this other world, maybe they were more straightforward than nonsensical, like he first thought. a quiet panic thrums under the surface of his barely relaxed façade. his grandmother was on the other side of the world, or thereabouts. he couldn't call her, he didn't want to call her about this. it wasn't his secret to share. “ ... yeah, okay, ” he utters, quietly. at the very least, he could follow steve around and make sure he doesn't go swimming anytime soon. dae-hyun turns, tilting his head back to glance up at steve.
somewhere amidst his clinginess, he must have sagged down to steve's chest without realising it. he does feel somewhat calmer, listening to steve's heartbeat settle, coupled with the soothing patterns his fingers were tracing on his skin, over and over again as if they could will away his stress. “ only if you do the same, ” he expects steve is the type to try and be a hero, which does not fill him with confidence that he will do the same and run.
his gaze downcasts, the arm once wrapped around steve's waist loosening, his hand moving to slip under his shirt and rest over his stomach. “ or i'll kill you and eat you before the monsters can, ” it's a half-hearted joke at best, and his gaze flattens as he says it, deadpanned. “ ... but fine. i promise. ”
dae-hyun doesn't sound as convinced as steve would like, but he takes what he can get and keeps holding him to his chest, arms steady in the hopes that it makes dae-hyun feel safe. ❛ nothing's going to happen to me, ❜ steve reassures him when those soft eyes peer up at him. typically edged with cynicism or something stoic, they're more frightened and unsure now than anything else. the sight reaches right into steve's chest and shatters his heart.
❛ you know, your threat isn't as scary as you think it is, ❜ he forces a small smile, tucking some of dae-hyun's hair behind his ear. steve's gaze softens, as it often does whenever he looks at him. ❛ it'd be an honor to be killed and eaten by you. ❜ legs tangled together, he presses another kiss to dae-hyun's forehead, this one lingering as he runs his fingers through onyx hair.
sleep doesn't return as fluidly as it once had, steve staring at the patterns on his wallpaper until his eyes begin to finally unfocus, the only solution to close them. chihiro climbs back onto the bed at some point during the night, cautiously burrowing into the covers atop dae-hyun's back. she loafs there, purring loudly as if to let him know she forgives him and will be taking the night shift to watch over them all.
in the morning, steve is more tired than he would like, but he supposes it's nothing some coffee or an energy drink can't fix. after a quick shower, he checks his phone for any changes in the party's plans and begins to pack a bag when he sees none. a first aid kit is the first thing to grace the confines of the backpack, walkie-talkie and extra battery last. with each item added, steve feels his heart grow heavier. zippo lighter slipped into his jacket pocket, he feeds chihiro and then waits for dae-hyun at the foot of the stairs, anxiety manifesting in the way he pulls at a loose thread on his jeans.
dae-hyun forgoes the fiddling with the stereo to peer into the brown paper bag he had been wordlessly handed. a sandwich, cookies and a packet of chips. he glances over his shoulder at the one sat on the backseat, eyes then sliding to steve's profile. every other shift he usually arrived without lunch, snacking on whatever was within reach at the kiosk. which usually meant sugar and other assorted junk. even in school, he rarely arrived with a packed lunch. at least, not while he was living with his father.
were his heart encased in ice, there would now be a deep, profound crack. “ you made me lunch? ” he hasn't even acknowledged steve's response about robin. not because he didn't care (he didn't, but that was besides the point), but because steve's continual generosity was so... strange. “ 귀여워, ” cute. it's mumbled softly, and he then closes the bag and lays it on his lap. first breakfast, and now a packed lunch. wholesome, was a better word. it was difficult not to read into it.
the drive to family video is spent trying and failing not to look over at steve. he's not quite sure what he's checking for, but he finds his gaze wandering over to him all the same. waiting for the other shoe to drop, perhaps. it always did, eventually. as he sits, a realisation slowly washes over him. “ ah. i left my phone at your house, ” it's spoken more as a thought out loud than looking for a response, and he rolls his head to look at steve for the hundredth time since they left the house. he can't seem to help himself, even as they arrive at work and the car engine shuts off. nothing follows beyond his usual indecipherable stare, and then he gets out of the car, homemade lunch in hand.
“ when can i take my break? ”
steve shrugs. ❛ you never bring anything. thought you could use a break from eating candy. ❜ never mind the fact that steve likes feeling useful whenever he can. maybe if he pretends it isn't such a big deal for him, it doesn't have to be. then dae-hyun won't have to be subjected to steve's overeagerness and feel compelled to exit, stage left like so many others before him.
when can i take my break? the question is endearing, steve unable to keep from breathing out a quiet laugh as he gets out of the car, retrieving his own lunch from the backseat before going to unlock the front door of the store. ❛ you mean you aren't gonna take it whenever you want like you usually do? ❜ his tone is teasing, lacking any awkwardness one may expect after the morning they've had. but steve has decided not to take that energy into their interactions moving forward, resigning himself to being just friends even as he flips the CLOSED sign to OPEN and then boots up the computer that sits behind the counter.
he makes his way into the break room to stow his lunch in the fridge, routine making his attitude about everything much easier to digest. steve can't afford to be in his feelings now, not when he needs this job. it's not the best one he's ever had, but with all the extra shifts he's picked up he's been able to save a decent chunk of change for an apartment of his own soon. walking back out to the front, he plunks himself down into a chair with a yawn.
❛ you can pick the first movie today, ❜ and he gestures to the large television screen at the front of the store that always has something or other playing on it, ❛ i swear i've seen everything in here at this point. ❜
the woman's lips curl upwards into a toothy smile, the panic long gone from her eyes. she steps back to retreat as steve wakes, her movements staggered as if her joints were stiff. it's terrifying to watch without knowing the intent behind her being there; usually he could feel their energy, their residual emotion, their want. this time, there was nothing. it felt like an endless void. the shadows engulf her completely until lamplight floods the room and there's nothing but an empty space where she once stood.
dae-hyun continues to stare, bewildered, steve's muffled voice slicing through the static in his ears. at some point, being pried from steve's arm had seen him white-knuckling the covers again instead. his own fingers felt frozen, locked up and stiff. he lets out a trembling breath, feeling the soft kisses against the top of his head and trying to focus on steve's touch to calm himself. his next words, however, have dae-hyun grabbing onto steve again, fisting the front of his shirt, his eyes wet with unshed tears. “ no– don't. don't leave me alone, please, ” he all but begs him, his own heart thundering in his chest. “ i'm... i'm sorry for waking you up. it was a nightmare, ” it felt wrong dismissing it, especially after their earlier conversation at the wheeler's, but he couldn't make sense of anything in this state. his dream of dying, drowning in the lake, and then seeing the woman. they hadn't felt intimately connected in the moment.
he leans forward into steve, into his arms, his comforting embrace. his face presses to his shoulder, and then into his neck where he can afford to breathe. “ i'm sorry, ” the last thing he had wanted was to bring that here, to steve. he had been dealing with it on his own for so long, concealing it had become a habit. it was easier that way. it had become a burden on his past relationships to the point of collapse, so the thought of history repeating itself terrified him to no end. steve had his own stuff to deal with. he didn't need his baggage on top of it all. and yet, the notion that they were to part in the morning made him want to retch.
his fingers begin to loosen their grip on steve's shirt, before slipping to wrap around his waist. “ ... i scared chihiro, ” he belatedly realises, his eyes darting to the open bedroom door she had bolted through. despite the fact, his arms tighten around steve, worried that he might leave to find her. it's selfish, but he cannot will himself to let go. “ can we leave the light on for a little while? ”
❛ okay. it's okay. i won't leave. ❜ his hands attempt to soothe, one rubbing slow circles into the soft space between dae-hyun's shoulder blades and the other simply pressing into the small of dae-hyun's back, keeping him close. steve shakes his head. ❛ you've gotta stop saying sorry for stuff you can't control. ❜ should he take his own advice sometimes? probably. but tonight isn't about him; it's about the man currently trembling in his arms and steve's almost instinctual need to keep him safe.
❛ she'll come back, ❜ steve says about chihiro, and he can picture her lurking around downstairs until she deems the second floor to be safe again, dozing off on the recliner for an hour or two before returning to the sanctity of her owner's bedroom where her favorite people are currently huddled together. ❛ of course we can leave the light on. ❜
once steve looks down at dae-hyun's face again, it's settled. leaving the light on for the rest of the night is the only viable option. sinking back into the mattress, he brings dae-hyun closer and peppers small kisses to his forehead, fingertips still tracing indecipherable shapes onto bare skin. he pulls the covers over them, frowning slightly at how fast dae-hyun's heart continues to beat. something isn't right. more so than usual.
it is not an easy conclusion that steve comes to as they lie there in silence and the golden glow of lamplight, defeat present in how heavy his limbs suddenly feel. the party needs him, dae-hyun needs him, and steve cannot split himself in two for the sake of keeping everyone safe. he'll have to work with what he's been given. ❛ tomorrow... when i go. i won't argue anymore if you want to come with me. but you have to promise that if something happens and i tell you to run, you run. please promise me that much. ❜
